Flash Fiction, that is, you filthy animals.
This is another one from my dumb Tumblr thing, based on another neat work of sci-fi art I reblogged.
Jace looked up from the scanner. “Two colonials, Hep! On the other side of the rock.”
“Perfect,” Hep said, almost to himself.
“Perfect?! How are we gonna handle two?!”
Hep took a short breath. The rookie was jumpy and a little panicky, but what rookie wasn’t? Flying through space is fun and all, right up until someone’s trying to blast you into it.
“Colonials are good, but they’re also cocky, Jace,” Hep said, powering up the Needle’s thrusters.
The scanner flipped from green to red and Jace instinctively interrupted him. “Two colonial Zona fighters now moving to intercept, sir.”
Hep continued. “One of them, alone, could be a problem, but a pair? These idiots will be so busy trying to impress each other, we’ll be able to fly circles around them.”
The scanner sounded and began to flash. “A third colonial Zona fighter has activated its ions and is now moving into attack formation Delta,” Jace said.
A moment of tense silence filled the Needle’s cockpit. “Hang on.” Hep pulled his controls toward him and the Needle arced sharply upward, spun 180 degrees, and flattened out again. Hep powered the ship’s thrusters to maximum, pushing both pirates heavily into their seats.
“What are you doing?”
“Two is a patrol group. We can handle two.” The Zonas came around the asteroid in a tight formation.
“Three is a combat defense squad. They only put a combat defense squad around this rock if there’s something more than metal in it.
“The good news is, we just found something very valuable.”
The Zonas opened fire.
“The bad news is, we may not get to tell anyone about it.”
I’m proud of these things, because I do them off the top of my head, taking the first bit of inspiration I find in the image, and writing without judgment. In this particular one, I decided to sort of flip it and make the pirates the two people in the foreground, who are probably not meant to be the bad guys in the image. Then, while I was writing it, I realized that I thought there were two ships that I called the colonials, but there were actually three. So I decided that our heroes had also made the same mistake, which is why they are fleeing from them
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It’s a really neat trick to write in the vernacular of the universe your characters are inhabiting. A brief snippet of your story feels bigger and more flushed out as a result of the very foreign dialogue the characters have. Makes me wanna know more about the world of the story.
Aw, thanks! That’s something I do on purpose. I’m glad it works as intended.
It’s sort of the brilliant thing Firefly did in particular using colloquialisms that are completely foreign to the audience. Overall your work is shiny, Wil!
I wish this was a book, it sounds like it could be really interesting! I’m continually impressed with the stuff you keep coming up with. Not sure if you care to read that some random dude enjoys your creativity or not… just thought I would let you know!
“T-minus fifteen seconds and counting….”
These were the last words I heard over the coms before the engines cut and we were jettisoned-adrift just outside Sector G72-alpha…fifteen light years off course and cut loose from the mothership.
Wil, is it okay to post the rest of this little short?
You need to stop posting these, Wil. I keep reading them and wanting to see the rest of the story. Then I remember there isn’t any more and I feel sad. I suppose that means you’re doing a good job and they’re awesome.
Interesting that the level of security was determined by the relative value of the asteroid,
hence, “…They only put a combat defense squad around this rock if there’s something more than metal in it.”
What was so valuable that they would kill for it ?
Terrific story !
David Saks – This makes me want to write something about what’s happening ‘planet-side’ which compliments the moment we read about up in space, just now… “confirm deployment; formation Delta, copy?” “Five by Five; Delta pattern…wait, where’d they go…?”
Sounds great..
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Christ, look at the size of it. That’s the biggest space almond I’ve ever seen.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: It’s huge, Jace.
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Can we get a tow cable on it?
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: I don’t know, Jace.
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Try.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: Sh*t, what’s that?
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Crimaxian Death Jizzers. First class.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: Sh*t.
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Yeah.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: No kidding.
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Sh*t.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: Right?
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Should we…
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: Should we what?
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: No, you’re right. Let’s get out of here.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: Sh*t.
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Damn.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: Yeah.
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Man.
WING SUB-COMMANDER RANCE STEELEBURNER: Woulda been good.
COMMANDER JACE MCGOVERN: Yes.
That, by the way, is the synopsis for a new Star Wars movie I would have tried to sell to Disney.
Disney would literally not give me bus fare if I slept in their parking lot for a year.
I’d be better off carving my ideas into a random Douglas Fir in the northernmost reaches of Nunavut, hoping that an ambitious beaver might drag that tree down to Bob Iger’s driveway.
The Space Almond trilogy will never be made, people.
In the sequel, competing factions of the Crimaxian Death Jizzer Empire wage war over whether the giant space almond will be flavorformed as sweet or savory.
Flavorforming is similar to terraforming, utilizing an apparatus similar to the famous Genesis Device, except dispensing cinnamon-and-sugar or hickory smoke-and-kosher salt on a planetary scale. Any dead Vulcans left on the surface of the almond will remain dead, but they will be delicious.
Also, there’s a 50% chance they become kosher.
Short attention span literature works very well for you sir. Thank you for sharing.
Came here to tell you how much I enjoyed that, and found that the very first comment explained exactly why. So, second that.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
That was a cool short story
I love this story, and using pics for writing exercises! What a great way to practice and get the creative energy going. I’m totally going to try this kind of thing on my own blog. You rock!
Visual prompts are great muse candy 🙂 Enjoyed this very much, thanks for sharing.
I particularly like “trying to blast you into it”, rather than the more familiar “blast you out of the sky”. Jerked me out of complacency and made it feel more dangerous, hard vac millimeters away.
ps…Wil
Tomorrow is our annual Star Trek Day celebration in Memphis. The mayor will issue a proclamation.
http://www.commercialappeal.com/columnists/set-phasers-to-fun–its-time-for-star-trek-day-in-shelby-county-2feb173a-e734-573e-e053-0100007f9b8e-374963711.html
Wish you were here.
ds
Awesome, really enjoyed that!
That’s awesome. I’m going to need to try that creative exercise sometime myself!
And now you have me wondering what’s in that rock?!
I really hope you will find more time to write fiction. How is that short story coming along you’ve been working on? Will we see this on the blog? Good luck with it!
This is a nicely told little vignette with a great finish. I would very much like to know if Hep and Jace made it out of there.
Therein lies the problem, as I know from experience. I turned in a v. short story to litreactor that was quite well received, except people wanted to know more about the aliens. I provided more, to be told here was now too much exposition. Bye bye balance…
You always say, get inspired and make something so when I received an awesome space ship illustration I had commissioned, I was inspired to write this little piece of flash fiction:
You can find the original blog post with the picture here