My life reboot is going well. Though I make lots of jokes about how I’ve traded everything I liked in my life for water and exercise, I really do feel good. The changes I made to my life, which I’ve committed to maintaining, are making a positive difference in every area of my existence, and I love it.
I’m having a massive existential crisis about being an actor right now, but that’s a whole thing that I’m not going to get into in public until I’ve had more time to think about it, and talk about it with my friends who are other creative people.
But other than that whole thing, I’m happy. I’m taking good care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
So that’s why I’m not going to any conventions this year, except a single one in England this October. This means I won’t be at San Diego Comicon, including w00tstock, or HopCon.
There are probably less than one hundred people in the world who care about that, but if you’re one of them, read on and I’ll tell you why.
Last year I had a miserable time at Comicon. I didn’t enjoy w00tstock, and I just felt like I was “off” during HopCon. I felt massively anxious, uncomfortable in my own skin, and afraid of everything the whole time I was in San Diego. I did a good job of wearing the mask of a person, and I was pretty good as imitating the things that people do, so only the people who know me very well could tell that I didn’t want to be there.
GenCon was awful. I spent the entire convention having meetings with people, trying to repair the damage that someone I thought was my friend had done to me, Tabletop, and all the hard work I’d done for many years.
Every single time I saw that I had to travel for a convention, I spent the whole week hoping that something would happen so that I couldn’t go. Once I got there, I did my best to honor the people who waited to meet me, I did my best to perform well when I was on stage, and I had a few genuine moments of happiness, but I mostly felt tired and overwhelmed.
One of the things I haven’t talked about that is part of my life reboot is making more time for myself. It’s about setting limits, saying no to things even if I think they’ll be fun, and doing my work, instead of someone else’s work.
I realize that this is totally #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems, but I have to take this year off from personal appearances and conventions. I have to stay home and write. I have to find my way back to the art. I have to find my way back to being a creative person who makes stories and characters and creative things, instead of being a person who hosts stuff, does things which are transactional nonfiction, and spends lots of time on the road talking about those things.
The imperfect comparison I’ve been using is that I feel like I’m in a band. I worked really hard for a long, long time to record a record that people liked, and when I finally did, I went out on tour to support it … but I haven’t been able to write or record a new album. It’s like I’ve been on tour so long, I’m starting to resent playing the songs I used to love, and I am just tired and uninterested in doing the shows.
So this summer, I’m not going to be at a lot of the places the few of you who are reading this have gotten used to seeing me. I’m totally burned out, and it interacting with me at any of these things this summer wouldn’t be awesome for me or you.
If everything goes according to plan, I’ll spend the rest of this year writing stories, making podcasts, doing a few narrative fiction film projects, and maybe even somehow getting on-camera work as an actor. If everything goes according to plan, I’m going to create a lot of new stuff this year, and next year I’ll be excited to share it, perform it, and take it to some of the places I’m not going this year.
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If you haven’t already read it, you might want to take a few minutes to go see the piece The Oatmeal did yesterday on breathing and art. You might find it reliant.
I understand completely. Not only have you been running on empty doing what’s “expected” by others, but you are recovering from a betrayal. That alone can make one shrink from public scrutiny. I’m sorry that your last appearances were so painful for you. By all means, do what heals and nurtures your soul and you will feel less vulnerable and anxious. Good vibes sent to you for your creativity to be rewarding in every way.
Recharging is one of the most vital processes for all creative types. I burned out big time several times over the past twenty years (in the writing gig here). I finally realized you have to have that quiet space in which to renew your self, to drown out the dissenting voices, to feel like you lead a normal life, to focus on you. Take time, don’t let people guilt you, and dial back the stress. Your fans will understand. Anybody who doesn’t…well…that’s their problem.
While I’m sad I won’t see you at Rose City CC this year — you’ve been a highlight each year — I’m ecstatic that you’re taking care of yourself. Your personal wellbeing is far more important than any convention appearance and if it’s not fun or mentally/physically healthy for you, I know I (and many, many, many others) wouldn’t want to see you put yourself through it.
Best thoughts and looking forward to what you’re coming out with next!
It’s more than okay to take care of yourself, dude.
That is awesome, Wil. SO PROUD to be a fan. You do you, man. We’re with you.
I’m going to tell you the same thing I told a dear friend of mine who was in crash-and-burn mode: YOU take care of YOU first and foremost, so that you CAN take care of others IF and WHEN you choose. We got your back. Peace to you and your family. xo
You are loved and valued! Do what you need for you.
Feel you on this. I’m doing the same thing. Obviously I don’t have to deal with the same stuff, but I’m just burnt out and need a break. I plan to go to one local con in October only.
“I’m having a massive existential crisis about being [insert occupation] right now…” I hear you, it’s good to know that it happens to people with really cool-sounding jobs. Good luck.
I don’t go to cons, but I am glad you taking time for self-care. As long as I can still read you and Scalzi arguing about burritos, great! Be well, sir.
Enjoy the good things you’re doing, take your break, refill your “Awesome Things To Share With Others” cup. We (not the royal we, we as a collective of fans and cool people) will be glad to share them with you next year. 🙂
As for the existential actor crisis, would you like to join the club? Currently the club consists of me panicking about putting all my time and energy into a career I do not seem to be succeeding in and staring at the wall while counting down to my Mom’s retirement. Also eating chocolate frosting with a spoon and watching comedy specials trying to remember what laughing is like. …Actually this probably isn’t a club, it’s probably just Depression and I already know the dues you already pay for that club membership (isn’t it the worst?) I’M GOING TO STOP TALKING NOW hides under a blanket…. a moment later a hand reaches out, snatches a tub of frosting with a spoon sticking out of the top and retreats back into the blanket cavern
I think your reboot is great (& inspiring!), & I look forward to seeing you at cons again when you feel like going, whether that’s next year or in the future. I’ve really enjoyed seeing you at cons in the past, but would absolutely hate it if I knew you weren’t enjoying them at all, but just attending.
I’m glad you’re aware enough to want to take care of you. That’s important. I hope to see the creative fruits of your time away, but if your harvest is later than you expect it right now, that’s fine, too. You will reap what you sow and this is the best way to plant seed for a big harvest later.
You need to do what you need to do for you. Take time out, recharge, do some different stuff, get your creative groove on and come back out next year with some new energy!
Hey Wil, It’s been a while since I have visited the site and spoken to you. I just want you to know that the Monkeyboxers are still here for you. You are still HMIC, I remember when you went through something similar years ago, I suspect it had a lot to do with how things went with the whole gathering in Tulsa. We all get burnout sometimes and realize that it is time to take a step back and refocus and do what makes us truly happy again. Wishing you all the best. No worries. love, light and monkey mojo ~Nephy
Enjoy the convention hiatus! The Oatmeal’s recent illustrated essay on creativity seems particularly apropos for a lot of folks these days. http://theoatmeal.com/comics/creativity
It’s not #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems. It’s the typical problem for a person with a creative mind and a good heart who feels obligated to help others before themselves. Sometimes you need to take time to release your creativity. Those that love and support you will take care of everything else to help you. Enjoy your Me-Time!
I visited with the Governor of Tennessee today. Wil.
It was pleasant. I rarely leave home anymore except for my one-day-a-week gig at school or a run to the grocery. I was invited to a document signing event for the university at 3:30pm.
I hope you can make the United States Postal Service First Day of Issue event for the nations’ new 50th Anniversary Star Trek Stamps. Here’s a sneak preview:
https://reggiestake.com/2016/02/04/star-trek-50th-anniversary-stamps/
It’s an occasion fit for every Star Trek fan, and stamp collector, like me.
By the way, Brent was here a few years ago for a scifi rally. He didn’t have time to visit Graceland with me so I gave him a block of Elvis stamps and spent a few minutes with him. He had me laughing so hard I fell out of my chair.
Hope you’re having a great afternoon, Wil !
As a fellow writer, I totally support the “cloistering” part of being creative. Damon Knight referred to the subconscious part of his writing as “Joe” and when pieces weren’t working he let Joe figure it out. So enjoy the time out of the spotlight.
Take all the time you need, Wil. At this point, you have to put yourself first. We can and will wait.
I am not famous but I totally get the concept of your #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems for me it is just #FirstWorldProblems
Setting boundaries and saying no is hard for everyone I think. The more requests on you and your time the harder it much be.
Take the time. Nobody else lives your life and has to be happy with you. Heck there are already plenty of haters. If not going to some con makes a few more then they were not really fans or friends anyway.
You’re an excellent ‘creator’, so I’m looking forward to what comes out of your time away from the cons
The first time I saw you was in 1987 when TNG aired. Star Trek is a huge part of my childhood for reasons I can’t get into at this moment. As a consequence, you and the whole cast are touchstones for me.
Now I’m an adult and a proud Nerd. Turns out someone I looked up to as a kid is also One of My People. That’s pretty damn cool.
I’m a mental health professional now… and someone who suffers from severe depression and anxiety.
Let me tell you that your candor about your mental health needs is necessary. People in the public eye who are brave enough to speak about the importance of self-care and mental health treatment literally save the lives of others.
You save lives when you speak your truth. Never forget that.
Wil, I’ve wanted to let you know that I was stoked to be able to talk with you a bit at NHC in June of last year. My wife still teases me about how excited I was to meet you. Now that I know a bit about the crap that was happening in your life back then and the effect it was having on your health, I appreciate it even more, so thank you again for your time.
You might hear a few jerks saying, “that Wheaton, where does he get off ignoring his fans?” but that is bullshit. The creative stuff you have brewing in your head now is what is going to really touch people, and I guarantee that it will be more meaningful than a handshake and a selfie at a con. When you are sharing and performing again, we will be there — count on it.
I got to meet you, briefly, at Gen Con last year. I shook your hand. I’m sure you don’t remember it, but was my outstanding moment for my first year at Gen Con, and probably one of the outstanding moments of my life. My family still teases me about it – that I got to meet Wil Wheaton. I so appreciate your art, your entertainment, and the information that you provide about mental illness. And I totally appreciate and support this break for YOU.
good for you! Take care and those who don’t like your decisions aren’t worth it…
It’s great to hear you are doing well with getting your reboot on track, and hopefully the actor problems with be sorted out soon. Slightly on topic, which convention in the UK are you attending? I’d love the chance to meet you in person and hopefully by then you’ll be enjoying seeing the people who respect what you’ve achieved so much. Keep being awesome Wil 🙂
The best thing anyone can do is take care of themselves. Weve missed you at ECCC but no one is owed your time, especially when giving it would chip away at your own health and happiness. Excited for you about all the healthy habits you’re excelling at and the positive things its doing in your life, and wishing you lots of creative energy flows as your peace and happiness grows. Hope you’re still loving your tabletop converse i painted you. Thank you for all the joy and fun your love of games has brought me and others.
(Note: This is a crosspost comment from https://ashameimaru.tumblr.com/post/145680724149/you-run-and-you-run-to-catch-up-with-the-sun )
Definitely working for what you want to do, not what others want you to do – always much more fulfilling. Sure, #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems, but you know what? It is a universal situation no matter who you are and in what station in life you are. No one should judge anyone for that. It’s a struggle that most if not, all go through.
And simply even seeing you doing what you are aiming to do vs. what the Outside wants to do? It’s encouraging. And I respect that. Honestly, I sincerely thank you for doing what you are doing.
~ Aya
You are who you are so I imagine it is VERY difficult trying to be someone else.
Sounds like both you and Anne are doing the right thing at the right time. She should paint and you.should write.
Regards from South Pas.
Recharge Wil! Loved you on Dark Matter. Love the blog and Titansgrave.
Several years back, when you gave the keynote at the first PAX East, I was in the audience. You said to all of us “Welcome Home!” And that’s awesome when a con feels like home. But if the cons don’t feel like home? Be where home is.
Looking forward to seeing some of your creative work. Gotta feed your soul.
Self love is not so vile a sin as self neglect. Do what makes you happy. Create things you can be proud of. If you want, shared them. It’s all good.
Last year, I skipped GenCon for the first time in 16 years. Best decision I’ve made in years.
Good for you, Mr. Wheaton. That’s the secret. There is actually very little you to actually have to do in this world, despite other’s expectations. You have always been super-kind to your fans. It’s really okay to be kind to yourself as well. Rest up and indulge in your passions. I for one look forward to what this year of creativity brings forth.
Take care of you my friend. You’re the only Wil Wheaton we have! <3
Yup. You need to take care of yourself. And more than 100 people care, just so you know. Find your mojo and your joy. We will wait.
Best of luck with it, Will! Enjoy your time out.
Good for you! I cannot wait to see what you are working on when you are ready to share. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you strive to continue your reboot, your work to feel better, and do a little self-discovery. I appreciate how honest you are about yourself in such a public forum, and I believe it helps others including myself. Take care!
I missed seeing you at Phoenix Comicon this year (though I’m not sure the last time you were there because I had a few years where I didn’t) but anyone who matters understands that you’re not a commodity. You’re a person. You have to take care of yourself.
I can’t say that I won’t miss you at w00tstock this year, but your peace of mind is paramount. Have a great YOU summer and I hope I will still see you on JCC7 next year!
Excellent plan. Whole heartedly support you in committing to your own creativity. Necessary, smart, and heart-full. Write hard and take care of yourself.
The only incorrect thing is you thinking that less than 100 people would care about you not attending! But all those people would prefer you take the time off to re-energize and get back in touch with your creative side! I look forward to your next record:)
While not seeing you sucks…this isn’t about me or anyone else that wanted to meet you…you’re doing a thing that fit’s perfectly with the message you send about self care needing to be a priority for all humans…I’m ok with not meeting you…and even like you more because of the reason…this might be the first time that not meeting a famous person is a cool thing that’s happening.
You should take care of you, so that you can keep being you, so we all get to enjoy more of you in the future. (Be well!)
It was nice seeing you at the Science and Engineering Festival then! Enjoy your time off.
Play more D&D. If you want in on a 2nd Edition game, let me know. 😎
It’s probably easy for me to say, if people don’t get that, it’s their problem, but it’s true. You have to take care of yourself first, and your fans should understand that. If they can’t, or won’t, that’s on them.