My life reboot is going well. Though I make lots of jokes about how I’ve traded everything I liked in my life for water and exercise, I really do feel good. The changes I made to my life, which I’ve committed to maintaining, are making a positive difference in every area of my existence, and I love it.
I’m having a massive existential crisis about being an actor right now, but that’s a whole thing that I’m not going to get into in public until I’ve had more time to think about it, and talk about it with my friends who are other creative people.
But other than that whole thing, I’m happy. I’m taking good care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
So that’s why I’m not going to any conventions this year, except a single one in England this October. This means I won’t be at San Diego Comicon, including w00tstock, or HopCon.
There are probably less than one hundred people in the world who care about that, but if you’re one of them, read on and I’ll tell you why.
Last year I had a miserable time at Comicon. I didn’t enjoy w00tstock, and I just felt like I was “off” during HopCon. I felt massively anxious, uncomfortable in my own skin, and afraid of everything the whole time I was in San Diego. I did a good job of wearing the mask of a person, and I was pretty good as imitating the things that people do, so only the people who know me very well could tell that I didn’t want to be there.
GenCon was awful. I spent the entire convention having meetings with people, trying to repair the damage that someone I thought was my friend had done to me, Tabletop, and all the hard work I’d done for many years.
Every single time I saw that I had to travel for a convention, I spent the whole week hoping that something would happen so that I couldn’t go. Once I got there, I did my best to honor the people who waited to meet me, I did my best to perform well when I was on stage, and I had a few genuine moments of happiness, but I mostly felt tired and overwhelmed.
One of the things I haven’t talked about that is part of my life reboot is making more time for myself. It’s about setting limits, saying no to things even if I think they’ll be fun, and doing my work, instead of someone else’s work.
I realize that this is totally #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems, but I have to take this year off from personal appearances and conventions. I have to stay home and write. I have to find my way back to the art. I have to find my way back to being a creative person who makes stories and characters and creative things, instead of being a person who hosts stuff, does things which are transactional nonfiction, and spends lots of time on the road talking about those things.
The imperfect comparison I’ve been using is that I feel like I’m in a band. I worked really hard for a long, long time to record a record that people liked, and when I finally did, I went out on tour to support it … but I haven’t been able to write or record a new album. It’s like I’ve been on tour so long, I’m starting to resent playing the songs I used to love, and I am just tired and uninterested in doing the shows.
So this summer, I’m not going to be at a lot of the places the few of you who are reading this have gotten used to seeing me. I’m totally burned out, and it interacting with me at any of these things this summer wouldn’t be awesome for me or you.
If everything goes according to plan, I’ll spend the rest of this year writing stories, making podcasts, doing a few narrative fiction film projects, and maybe even somehow getting on-camera work as an actor. If everything goes according to plan, I’m going to create a lot of new stuff this year, and next year I’ll be excited to share it, perform it, and take it to some of the places I’m not going this year.
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Be well …and also thanks somehow Titansgrave helped me through a god awful time
I fully support you in this, I also thank you for my Facebook profile picture which shows how much you truly care about the fans:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152519005231531&set=a.428056011530.231229.698511530&type=3&theater
I understand. It’s not celebrity-first-world-problem. Just remember to care of you. Then, if on that winding road.. we happen to meet next year ..Yay!
Rest well, do what you do.
Never apologize for taking care of yourself. Fans will always be around.
You will be missed. I’m an Enforcer at PAX, and some of my absolutely fondest memories are of you and the energy and care you put into everything you did. You are a shining beacon of good juju, and I don’t think I can ever repay what you’ve done for me.
Take care of yourself, take all the time you need. We’ll be here to welcome you whenever you are well enough to join us.
Totally acceptable to feel this way Wil. No one can blame you or fault you at all. Im confident i speak for many many people when i say “take your time, take care of yourself, do what you love and find your way back. We love you and what you do and will be anxiously waiting for your next projects”.
I know that the internet can be a place full of dicks (both metaphorical and literal), so I want to chime in here as something positive.
Your fans love you because of who you are and part of who you are is a creative person. If you need time to get back to that place, I think that’s a great idea. Thank you for everything you do.
<3, one of your many fans.
Have a great summer. Looking forward to the new stuff. sometimes everything just feels like too much even things you love.
You have to take care of yourself and the people who care will understand and the people who don’t, don’t matter anyway
Take care yourself man. Now I need to track down your podcast.
Do what you gotta do man – no one else will do it for you. They can help, but they can’t do it all. I wish you all the best and I hope your creativity and enthusiasm gets a healthy recharge. Have a wonderful summer Wil… I hope it brings those summer smiles we used to get having a few months of freedom to do nothing but swim, ride bike, and stuff our cheeks with big league chew.
Wil,
Cons and personal appearances aren’t as important as your health in its respects. I think taking the year off is going to recharge you more than you know. I know what it’s like to burn out and needing to step back. So do it, have fun, relax. Walk around nature. Once you decompress some and aren’t thinking about it, creativity will come and smack ya upside the head.
Don’t worry about us. We’ll read the posts and yak if you like. But mainly hug Annie so hard she has to tap out cuz her eyes are bugging out of her head. The .”Akkk.lungs man. Lungs! I gotta breathe!”.:-) type of hugs.
Burnout happens to all of us sometimes. You’re wise to take it seriously and do what you have to do to get your mental and emotional energy back. Good luck!
Not that my opinion matters here in the least, but I 100% understand and endorse your choice. Despite what the intrawebz may say, you don’t belong to us. We’re just grateful you’ve chosen to share as much of yourself as you have because we’re all better for it. Be whatever ‘you’ you want or need to be, and I’ll continue to wish you the absolute best for it.
There comes a time when you just have to put yourself first. And for someone as giving to the community as you are, that’s a difficult thing to do. You understand the pain and need in others, so you want to do whatever you can to make their lives better in one way or another. But you can’t do that at your own expense for too long. It simply won’t work out. Take some time off. Hell… retire from the business if that’s what you want or need to do. But just… tend to your own needs for a while and see how you feel later. Your fans are your fans. We’ll still be your fans later. We’ll still want to see you happy, healthy, and living a life that makes you happy. How to be happy, though? That’s something only you can decide. Enjoy your ‘me time.’ You’ve more than earned it.
Who the heck cares of you are a celebrity, you are a person first! You only have one body and one mind. Take the time you need for yourself and your family because those 100 people that care want you to be healthy and around for a long time! Lets be honest, no one else should really matter unless they want what’s best for you! I’ll roll some dice for you at Origins next week!
Nothing but love.
One hundred and one people now, Wil. Take care of yourself, listen to those you trust, and recharge. We can wait, kid.
I admit, I was a teenage fan. It’s your writing that brought me back as an adult. Just don’t stop that, and you’ll get no complaints from me.
Well… that is unfortunate but I hope it all works out for you in the end. Keep your head up and moving forward. 🙂
Good. You do what you gotta do.
You owe nothing to anyone, except bill collectors. You only have to do what you need to do. Share only what you want to share. We fans will be here to enjoy whatever it is you wish to share.
Know that we only wish what is best for you, and hope I personally hope that you know that.
Life is impermanent, ultimately what you create is what you chose to. We, will just be here enjoying whatever you chose to do or have done.
I hope that you find the peace that you are looking for, and look forward to whatever you chose to do in the future, whenever you chose to do it.
As long as you still go to hockey games I’m cool. Ran into you there last season.
Do what you need to do for you.
I am really excited for when you get back to cons because after I read your story about cons I wanted to go. Then when you post pictures on twitter, I realized that I wanted to go. Then when a light bulb hit me and I thought of a new Sparky McGee interpretation I was all YASSS. Please come to Emerald City Comic Con in 2017, I will be ready for you.
I’m sorry to hear last year was awful. I’m sure we–the gaming community and adoring fans of Wil Wheaton–only want you to be happy and healthy. Please take care of yourself. We hope to see you around the con circuit again. You come first in your life! Be well.
You gotta make time for you to do what is best for you. Anyone that doesn’t understand that isn’t worth worrying about. Although it would be awesome to see you out and about at cons, I can’t wait to see the new stuff you come up with this year!
Wil,
I love your body of work and how you do you. While I’d love to find you at DragonCon, I get what you’re saying as much as I can from the different place I experience the world. Thanks for the part of you that you share with us. Keep being awesome.
I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. This is good. I hope you are able find some peace and joy as you decide what’s best for you.
One thing you said just really stuck out to me. It was line about wearing the mask of a person. Gods, if that is not THE BEST description of what I feel like when I’m having a bad anxiety attack, I don’t know what is.
I just wanted to say that I don’t think you owe anyone an explanation, but I did appreciate reading it. And we fans appreciate you. Take care of yourself.
You have to take care of yourself, as a fan I understand and want my doses of Wheaton for the long haul. However, I must say, you are an articulate, incredible humorist and will be missed.
Best wishes in finding your muses.
Stay focused on yourself and your well-being. We’ll catch you the next time around 😊
Darn, I was hoping to get to meet you and thank you in person, but it can wait. I have patience.
Dude, it’s cool.
Those of us who love you (or an idea of you or whatever) will understand. And we’re not even the important ones in the matter.
Never apologize for setting personal boundaries and making them solid. You have a right to your own life, however that looks now and in the future. Thank you for all that you gave in the past. Enjoy finding who you are and setting boundaries that work for you.
In the line of work I do (Domestic Violence “front line”), burnout is one of the biggest things we’re warned against. Never feel bad about taking a step back to personally heal. You need, and deserve it. Everyone who matters will understand. I sincerely hope you feel better soon.
I couldn’t imagine being in your position. Everyone seems to think that actors have it all, and don’t need to worry about a damn thing. I simply could not do what you do. We all need time for ourselves at some point. I look forward to seeing whatever it is that you come up with!
Wishing you all the best, Cheers!
Totally understand and agree. To thine own self be true. I, for one, support you in all that you do. Good luck Mr W. See you somewhere soon. VB
Sounds awesome! Enjoy yourself… 🙂
Thank you for posting this. I had a similar experience at a professional conference I was attending this winter and couldn’t figure out why, but it was–on a vastly smaller scale than yours–all those nibbled to death by ducks things. You’ve helped me figure out I need to focus on doing my work. Which I have to do if I ever have a hope of being published.
Namaste
Do the thing. We only get one chance at this life thing.
I can’t think of a better reason to take time off than this. Not that my opinion should matter, but you are absolutely right to take all the time off you need to from things that either no longer interest you or don’t interest you at this point in time.
Find what you need to find, and everything else will fall into place.
Remember–if everything worked out wonderfully all the time, life wouldn’t be an adventure.
Thank you for posting this, and sharing your plans….which I happen to think are very wise. The more you take care of yourself and address your burnout, the sooner the time and energy will be there for everything else you want to accomplish, and the more enjoyment you will get from it….take care, Wil, take care and be well….
Take care of yourself and we’ll see you on the flipside. I will admit im sad to hear you wont be at W00tstock this year. Is is still going tp happen or is that on hiatus too? I mean I cant even go, but I love to watch them online when they go up. I have discovered so many wonderful artists and performers from watching the videos I’m sad to think who I wont discover this year. Burnt out or not your performances have always been delightful and entertaining. But I do love your stories and if you feel like you need a break to make more stories, then TAKE A BREAK because we need more Wil stories. Maybe you’ll think about rebooting the stories of the futurecast during your creative boom, eh?
You gotta do your thing. We’ll miss you at Gen Con. Hope to finally see or meet you next year.
Do well for yourself. You are still pretty awesome to more than a hundred or so people.
taking a break from us is a good thing, We people are to demanding some times and Do need to be put in our place, But with that in mind I like reading more than meeting any day .
Aww, you should be able to have any free time you want. I hope you can eventually go to a con and game or whatever unfettered from public fussing.
Wil,
I’m kind of new to conventions. I’ve been to Dragon Con twice, and that’s it. As someone with severe social and general anxiety issues, not to mention bipolar disorder – this was a huge step. And I loved every single moment of it – except the constant press of the crowds as I moved from place to place. All those strangers accidentally brushing against me…I felt half the time like I just couldn’t breathe. When it got to be too much, my fiance would pull me off to as calm and quiet a corner of the room as he could find, so I’d have a few moments to collect myself.
All that fuss…and I was there for me. I wasn’t there for thousands of people who waited to see me, get my autograph, hear me talk and ask me question after endless question.
Point is…you don’t owe any of us anything. You DO owe it to yourself, your friends, and your family to take care of you. And if all of this is giving you that much anxiety and stress, there isn’t a soul on this earth who has the right to make you feel bad about taking a season (or even forever) away from conventions.
I’ve been a fan of yours since I was a kid – a very long time. I’d have loved to have seen you at a convention, but I just haven’t been that lucky, yet. But even if I never do, I’m happy to be able to visit this blog from time to time and see what you’ve been up to, what you’ve done, and what we might have to look forward to.
Be good to yourself, man. And thanks for all you’ve done.
This sounds like an excellent plan because there is nothing more important than your health, which is something one should not take for granted. I know many people feel like celebrities owe then something, but you guys are people too and don’t owe us anything. We get ton enjoy the privilege of seeing your work; whether it be writing, acting or at various cons. I honestly don’t believe you need to explain yourself, it is your life after all. So stay healthy and happy; a true friend, fan or family member would want nothing more than that from you.
I think there’s a damn sight more than ‘a few hundred’ people that care about you Wil. You might want to add a few zeroes to that estimate!
Thank you for trusting us enough to share your struggles and your efforts to do something about it. This fan loves you and wishes you good health and inspiration. Much love ❤️
…and as an aside, “Time” by Pink Floyd is one of my favourite tracks of theirs. You, sir, have impeccable taste in music. 😊
You should buy a bar
You have nothing to apologize for here. For you, these things are a side job. It’s work. If you don’t NEED to do it, there are other ways to fill a weekend (say having fun like the attendees at an event do).
But I really, really wish that the celebrities who are fans could attend these events and get away with just being a patron without the hassle. You deserve that without resorting to a Spiderman disguise.
Please take care of you and your family, including those furballs. Your mental and physical health is what you rely on. We love you for you so go be creative.