My life reboot is going well. Though I make lots of jokes about how I’ve traded everything I liked in my life for water and exercise, I really do feel good. The changes I made to my life, which I’ve committed to maintaining, are making a positive difference in every area of my existence, and I love it.
I’m having a massive existential crisis about being an actor right now, but that’s a whole thing that I’m not going to get into in public until I’ve had more time to think about it, and talk about it with my friends who are other creative people.
But other than that whole thing, I’m happy. I’m taking good care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
So that’s why I’m not going to any conventions this year, except a single one in England this October. This means I won’t be at San Diego Comicon, including w00tstock, or HopCon.
There are probably less than one hundred people in the world who care about that, but if you’re one of them, read on and I’ll tell you why.
Last year I had a miserable time at Comicon. I didn’t enjoy w00tstock, and I just felt like I was “off” during HopCon. I felt massively anxious, uncomfortable in my own skin, and afraid of everything the whole time I was in San Diego. I did a good job of wearing the mask of a person, and I was pretty good as imitating the things that people do, so only the people who know me very well could tell that I didn’t want to be there.
GenCon was awful. I spent the entire convention having meetings with people, trying to repair the damage that someone I thought was my friend had done to me, Tabletop, and all the hard work I’d done for many years.
Every single time I saw that I had to travel for a convention, I spent the whole week hoping that something would happen so that I couldn’t go. Once I got there, I did my best to honor the people who waited to meet me, I did my best to perform well when I was on stage, and I had a few genuine moments of happiness, but I mostly felt tired and overwhelmed.
One of the things I haven’t talked about that is part of my life reboot is making more time for myself. It’s about setting limits, saying no to things even if I think they’ll be fun, and doing my work, instead of someone else’s work.
I realize that this is totally #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems, but I have to take this year off from personal appearances and conventions. I have to stay home and write. I have to find my way back to the art. I have to find my way back to being a creative person who makes stories and characters and creative things, instead of being a person who hosts stuff, does things which are transactional nonfiction, and spends lots of time on the road talking about those things.
The imperfect comparison I’ve been using is that I feel like I’m in a band. I worked really hard for a long, long time to record a record that people liked, and when I finally did, I went out on tour to support it … but I haven’t been able to write or record a new album. It’s like I’ve been on tour so long, I’m starting to resent playing the songs I used to love, and I am just tired and uninterested in doing the shows.
So this summer, I’m not going to be at a lot of the places the few of you who are reading this have gotten used to seeing me. I’m totally burned out, and it interacting with me at any of these things this summer wouldn’t be awesome for me or you.
If everything goes according to plan, I’ll spend the rest of this year writing stories, making podcasts, doing a few narrative fiction film projects, and maybe even somehow getting on-camera work as an actor. If everything goes according to plan, I’m going to create a lot of new stuff this year, and next year I’ll be excited to share it, perform it, and take it to some of the places I’m not going this year.
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Someday I will get be able to be at a con you are at too and finally get to meet you. I would rather have a happy rebooted Wil to speak to, even just 2 words, than a unhappy burned out Wil. So take the time for you and thank you for letting us know why and when. You didnt have to do that and you did sooooooo….you’re awesome.
You are doing what is right and best for yourself, you can never go wrong on that path! Was hoping to meet you at some point, but perhaps you will have other venues and forums that emerge as a result of your reboot/ transformation.
Honestly, I think this is great! I saw a glimpse of you at GenCon last year and I thought you weren’t really happy to be there. This is you time now. Love what you do. Do what you love. Rediscover the real you. And have a great time doing so. All the people who care about you will understand.
You absolutely must take care of yourself. I am glad you know and are setting the boundaries to protect yourself. Thank you for coming to Rose City CC last year. I was thrilled to meet you and couldn’t tell at all that you didn’t want to be there, so I appreciate that you made the effort. That said, I don’t want you to come back until you are ready to, because I want you to enjoy being here are much as I do. So, be excellent to yourself and your family, and know that I’ll (and I am sure many many others) will be looking for your new stuff and enjoying the hell out of it! Big HUGS from Portland.
I care!
I care enough that I am making a stupid comment on your blog and I hate making comments on blogs! I hope you feel better soon.
Fun Things to do that might cheer you up:
Hitrecord.org – every creative must gohere
Wattpad – every writer should
Camp NaNoWriMo – every writer must
A Trip to Bellingham, WA – best little town in the world
Take care of yourself, friend. We will still be here when you get back! Go shoot baskets with your boys, enjoy your wife, be you.
We prefer you happy and healthy. Thanks for reminding me how to do real life. 🙂
Wil, those of us who respect you and keep following ALL the work you do respect you for doing what you need to do to stay healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Anyone who does not believe this is important does not see that you are person of worth.
You are not in service to us. You bring your passions and insight into a medium that we can consume. But we have right to consume you – your soul, energy, or passion. If you take the time to stay focused on the things that we believe you can do and respect you for, then we will support you here, on Geek and Sundry, and during in person appearances.
Stay the course.
This is a really smart decision. Life is like a jewelry store where someone changed all the price tags.
Promoting yourself is great but if you write a really good story instead, high five, brother.
Keep being awesome.
You are a human first, celebrity second. You do what you need to do to reclaim the fun factor of creating.
Do what you’ve gotta do to make yourself happy. If anyone has an issue with that, well, then that’s their problem, not yours, & they can take a flying leap. There are way more than 100 people who support you. HUGS!!!
Well written. If you were a professor, you’d probably be going on sabbatical now, so think of it like that! Enjoy and return recharged.
Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, than you haven’t got anything.
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well i’d wish you good luck but apparently you blocked my twitter profile for sending you a video about some candies that a shop made for tabletop day
You are exactly the reason people like Wil need to take year long mental health breaks from interacting with their fans.
Don’t tell me you’re not going to be making appearances on Big Bang? I’d be very disappointed!!
Don’t be a dick.
Hi Wil,
I don’t know where to begin, not even sure you’ll read this…I’ve followed you a bit on Twitter and as a nerd ever since NG. I’m very surprised to hear about the anxiety you mention! I can sympathize, yet I’m torn. I know from personal experience what you may be feeling and how much that sucks. I wish you well and hope you take care of you! Another side of me though feels like giving you a big F U, not because I’m a dick, but because I see what you cannot…maybe you’re that much of a perfectionist, maybe it’s not enough, maybe it’s stupid to try to apply logic to it. No matter what I say or how much I stroke your ego, the anxious stuff may linger…what I see though is an amazing person who changed the world! You’ve effected millions with Star Trek, the dreamers, the nerds, etc. You seem like a nice guy! You have an amazing family, a w00tstout, tabletop, titans grave! Even your own internet law! You met Neil de grade Tyson, how many ppl can say they achieved ANY of those thing?! I may be mistaken…point is, you’re smart, you’re good for the most part, you’ve done a lot. Breathe, appreciate that as best you can, be thankful, break like you’re planning and just let the anxiety and/or depression? fuel you creatively! Hang in there! Let go, freestyle, change it all up and stop the insidious inside voice from dominating. You got this!
Just a comment from some random anxious admirer!
Take care Wil!
You know, Wil……..just speaking as one human to another, I can’t say I blame you one bit for taking some time and space to just breathe and work on stuff that means quite a bit to you. Going out and doing appearances I’m sure is appreciated by many people, but sometimes you just need……..breathing room! Heck, Kate Bush took 15 years between releasing albums, and no one heard a peep out of her, but when she came back, people enjoyed her sound all the same. I’m sure your fans will still be there when you do make your next appearance.
You’ve done quite a bit to extend who you are outside of the one you’re best known for, so hats off to you there. As I’m sure I can echo the sentiments of others, enjoy your well-earned break, and enjoy life!
/hugs. Take care of you. We’ll still be here if/when you decide to do cons again. 🙂 (I hear Strategicon is nice. Super cool vendor that sells crochet octopi there. But I digress. 😉 ) You are awesome and deserve to do whatever you need to in order to recover from your burnout.
Thank you for continuing to share your story. It takes a lot of courage and strength to take care of yourself and put yourself first when no one is watching… I can’t begin to imagine what it is like to do so while in the public eye. I hope you are able to find what you are looking for.
Thanks for sharing. I think people simply want to ignore the fact that people in the spotlight have feelings and struggles just like anyone else. I wish
More would be open and honest with their feelings as you have. As someone who has struggle with severe anxiety and secondary PTS thank you for choosing to be open. Good luck with the rest of the year!
I will miss you at the Stand By Me day in Brownsville OR on July 23 2016 for the 30 Year Anniversary…but I totally get where you’re coming from. Your only human of flesh and blood a man….wasn’t that an 80s song? Seems like yesterday… NO ONE will take care of you like you Wil Wheaton so do what you feel my friend and play a solo game of Castle Panic, read a good book, go to a mall and people watch, go for a drive in the mountains (Burney, CA) and never forget who you are, where you came from, what you’ve accomplished and the greatness you still impower to inspire others in your generation and the next. I wish you the best buddy.
Take care of number one so you can choose your next projects based on what reflects your core values, not the worlds suggestions. We can wait until you are ready to jump back into the crazy part of the world. Peace to you
I wish you the best! I feel that if it is not fun or too taxing, not to do it. I’m sure most of us are happy to interact with you in a way that it is most conformable for you to make it the best experience possible. So hell yeah, take some time off and recharge, and come back swinging.
Setting limits is great. Even if/when you start do cons etc again, keep the limits. Do them because YOU WANT TO, not because you’re expected to or feel you owe people.
Also, I heard “I’m not going anywhere but BARBECUE AT WIL’S!!!! Right? I mean, you have parking for a few thousand, yes?
Thank you for taking the time off. Not because I want you out of the creative world, but because I want you in it. Find your way back to your art and yourself. The rest of us will be here when you’re ready to come back.
Take this time for yourself! Yes, we’d love to see you, but we’d love even more to get new stuff and meet you when you are happy and don’t have to pretend. It’s refreshing to hear the honesty and reminds me that I’m not alone in needing to reboot and re-center ourselves. I wish you the best (not luck, but support, because getting better isn’t about luck but family and friends)! We’ll see you on the flip side.
Hey Wil.. I’ve just got to say man. Good for you. Your true fans will always be waiting here for you, and have your best interests at heart. You’re a really funny person, and great at what you do. We support you, no matter what new endeavors you take. Good luck and God bless, Wil.
You have to take care of you. And while I’m sad to hear that I won’t get to see you at W00tstock I’ll survive. Is much rather there was a happy healthy Wil making great stuff than a miserable Wil just trying to exist.
Speaking of great stuff, I loved the the Halloween edition of RFB you put out last year. I listen to it all the time at work. I hope you are able to find more interesting inspiration like that.
I have made it a point of focus in my life recently to fill my senses with positivity. Whether it be blogs, podcasts or video, I am curating my inputs to ensure that I am overflowing with positivity. People like you, Hardwick and Day are excellent sources of great stimuli and I appreciate the personal impact that you have, not only on me, but the people around me through me. I know that I am a better person and my family gets that better version of me because of people like you who put out positivity and greatness into the world. So thank you and enjoy this time of rest and reflection.
Also, I cannot recommend trancedental meditation enough for times like these!
Hey. There just comes a time when you finally face what you can do and what you can’t. What makes you happy and what makes others happy.
Your kids are grown. You don’t owe anybody anything. Tabletop is a real contribution. You don’t need to act to show anybody anything.
You take whatever time you need. Being a creative person means you need time to create and that is why more than a few of us love the stuff you do! Be true to yourself and, if and when you are ready, we will be here to cheer you on!
Completely understandable. This is my first comment, and I know it will get lost amongst others, but five days ago I moved to L.A. from Barcelona to try and make what I love into my profession. I know the strugle of being a creative person, I’ve had a thousand projects on my mind, but never could actually create them due to fear of failure. I’m going to change that, so just want to say thanks for the inspiration (past, present and future) and enjoy your well deserved vacation.
Hey Wil,
Just wanted to let you know I saw you twice at SDCC last year, and was even lucky enough to ask you a question. You were really funny and one of the people who made my first SDCC experience something special. To hear that you were doing that through mental difficulties, which I have some experience of myself makes me realise how much work you were doing to make that event enjoyable for fans. That takes a huge amount of strength, a strength I find difficult to find in moments of anxiety. You’re inspiring not only by being able to find the strength to tackle such difficulties, but also by making clear that it’s ok to take time for yourself when you need it, especially in the midst of mental health issues.
Thank you for sharing, I find it helpful as I’m sure many others do.
Take care of yourself, and I hope you keep enjoying what you do.
Thank you for making something that I love, honestly you don’t owe us fans anything. I don’t know if you’ll actual read this, and I don’t expect a reply, but your openness and honesty is refreshing. So many people famous or not have felt the way you describe feeling. I would also recommend meditation, it certainly has helped me manage my anxiety. Best of luck. Cheers.
What the hell is celebrity? You are a person and you are allowed to do whatever constitutes self care. I know what it is to deal with anxiety and depression and respect your choices.
I appreciate your honesty, as always. I’m a writer so I can totally relate to wanting to create new and exciting things but also feeling burnt out and uninspired. I hope this year away from the cons gives you the creative boost you’re hoping for. Good luck!
First and foremost is caring for yourself. You taking time to heal, center and be at peace with yourself-who you are-is paramount! Please take care, continue your quest for full health (physical/mental) and we’ll see you when we see you!! Loves!!!! @thatdenicechic
See you on the other side, ’til we meet again.
You deserve a break or you may break.
Ultimately, you have to take care of you. I enjoy most of what you put out in the world and if you don’t take care of you, I won’t be able to consume any more. So definitely take care of you first. I haven’t had the chance or pleasure to bump into you at a con, yet, but maybe one day. I’ll bet the number is more than 100 that will miss you and going to the cons makes many of us uncomfortable! You’re not alone. Keep up the great work on yourself and otherwise.
Do what you need to do and be well. Those who Care will understand and the rest are Sheldon.
Hey, makes perfect sense to me. Last year was my first visit to SD during SDCC and it was crazy-go-nuts to the point where I think many of the points the event once had have been plowed under, never to be seen again as it’s covered over with people waiting in hours-long lines to get an “exclusive” trinket.
So, yeah. Makes all the sense to me.
I totally understand, be well. I used to play music in a band and brew beer all the time and I’ve lost the way with those things a bit and need to find my way back.
I understand burnout, if in a slightly different way. I spent about 18 years being involved in a medieval re-creation group, spending the majority of my free time (when not working or sleeping) doing stuff related to it. I was having so much fun doing creative things and having fun with others that I thought to myself “Yeah, I’ve seen others around me get burnt out, but I’ll be careful so it won’t happen to me.” Well, famous last words and all that…..
Bottom line: whatever you’re doing, you should be getting at least some enjoyment or satisfaction out of it. If you’re not, then why make yourself feel miserable. Sometimes we need to spend time focusing on ourselves, in order to have enough for ourselves and give something to others. Intellectually I know that’s true, actually feeling it in my heart has been the hard part. I’m glad to hear that your reboot is working well. (I’m trying to focus on my own reboot, but it’s been slow going.) Hearing about your success helps me feel that I can (eventually) do it. Take the time that you need, do what you need to do to take care of yourself. We’ll happily be here when you get back.
Hey there Mr. Wheaton sometime we have to take a me day and sometimes that extends out to a while, take your time and enjoy your life. Do what you do best and have fun and be you! You are a treasure and really watching you on tabletop a few years ago really got me out of a life funk that I was in. Though you wont read this and maybe you will. My life some time ago was crap and wasn’t in a good place with myself and in my own skin., I was wondering what is the point of it all. I was ready to just go on auto pilot and just wait for the sweet release that would come at old age. Then I came across your show. I remembered who you were and started to watch faithfully from that point. The first episode I watched was a zombie game that you and Felicia Day were playing with others I can not remember the name I just know after the show I bought the game and found some new people and actually made new friends. Now I have a fiancé and I am back in school and making even more friends. So take this time out Mr. Wheaton you deserve and figure out what is it that you want. Take Care and God Bless
Taking care of yourself is #1. As a companion to extreme anxiety and chronic depression to the point that I’ll go full agoraphobic if I’m not careful, I’ve learned that mental illness care comes above all except family.
Keep well and work your mind right.
Wil, I’m really sorry things are tough for you man, and I’m also really sorry that gencon last year was aweful, as running into you as we walked from the convention center to St Elmos was the highlight of of my group of friends night. I really hope things round out and you find stable ground soon man, best wishes.
And here I was, just writing a guest post for Writers’ Co-op in which your name comes up as a “digital influencer”. Maybe your influence will lead the entire internet in a direction that makes it healthier, too. Not that it’s your calling or your responsibility; just that your example might start ripples of legacy. I hope you win the struggle. As Neil Gaiman says, make good art. <3 Sue
Good for you Wil…take this time and get yourself right. See ya next year.
Glad you shared and hope this time accomplishes your purpose.
I hope you find what you are looking for, you owe no one an explanation, you are the priority that matters. Stay safe, stay true and look for nothing else more than your true self. Be happy.
I was quietly hoping you’d be announced as a guest at Amsterdam Comic Con… But I’d rather not see you and know you’re working on being and doing what you need, than see you, knowing what it costs you to be here. Be good to yourself! More people than you know, do care.