My life reboot is going well. Though I make lots of jokes about how I’ve traded everything I liked in my life for water and exercise, I really do feel good. The changes I made to my life, which I’ve committed to maintaining, are making a positive difference in every area of my existence, and I love it.
I’m having a massive existential crisis about being an actor right now, but that’s a whole thing that I’m not going to get into in public until I’ve had more time to think about it, and talk about it with my friends who are other creative people.
But other than that whole thing, I’m happy. I’m taking good care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
So that’s why I’m not going to any conventions this year, except a single one in England this October. This means I won’t be at San Diego Comicon, including w00tstock, or HopCon.
There are probably less than one hundred people in the world who care about that, but if you’re one of them, read on and I’ll tell you why.
Last year I had a miserable time at Comicon. I didn’t enjoy w00tstock, and I just felt like I was “off” during HopCon. I felt massively anxious, uncomfortable in my own skin, and afraid of everything the whole time I was in San Diego. I did a good job of wearing the mask of a person, and I was pretty good as imitating the things that people do, so only the people who know me very well could tell that I didn’t want to be there.
GenCon was awful. I spent the entire convention having meetings with people, trying to repair the damage that someone I thought was my friend had done to me, Tabletop, and all the hard work I’d done for many years.
Every single time I saw that I had to travel for a convention, I spent the whole week hoping that something would happen so that I couldn’t go. Once I got there, I did my best to honor the people who waited to meet me, I did my best to perform well when I was on stage, and I had a few genuine moments of happiness, but I mostly felt tired and overwhelmed.
One of the things I haven’t talked about that is part of my life reboot is making more time for myself. It’s about setting limits, saying no to things even if I think they’ll be fun, and doing my work, instead of someone else’s work.
I realize that this is totally #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems, but I have to take this year off from personal appearances and conventions. I have to stay home and write. I have to find my way back to the art. I have to find my way back to being a creative person who makes stories and characters and creative things, instead of being a person who hosts stuff, does things which are transactional nonfiction, and spends lots of time on the road talking about those things.
The imperfect comparison I’ve been using is that I feel like I’m in a band. I worked really hard for a long, long time to record a record that people liked, and when I finally did, I went out on tour to support it … but I haven’t been able to write or record a new album. It’s like I’ve been on tour so long, I’m starting to resent playing the songs I used to love, and I am just tired and uninterested in doing the shows.
So this summer, I’m not going to be at a lot of the places the few of you who are reading this have gotten used to seeing me. I’m totally burned out, and it interacting with me at any of these things this summer wouldn’t be awesome for me or you.
If everything goes according to plan, I’ll spend the rest of this year writing stories, making podcasts, doing a few narrative fiction film projects, and maybe even somehow getting on-camera work as an actor. If everything goes according to plan, I’m going to create a lot of new stuff this year, and next year I’ll be excited to share it, perform it, and take it to some of the places I’m not going this year.
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It’s so hard to say “no,” especially when it’s connected to your job. Good for you! I may try to borrow some of that good “no” juju. Following your reboot has been helping me come to terms with excessive stress and anxiety in my own life. I hope you have your own inspiration in your life 🙂
I feel like self reflection is definitely necessary for your planned reboot to be of any lasting success. It’s really inspirational for you to lay all this out there and even talk about the personal hurdles you’re going through. We’re hoping for the best.
If one is not a a working person in the creative arts field, one may not understand that ALL creative people need down time, alone time, reboot time, rediscover why you chose this field to earn a living time. So TAKE THE TIME. Continue the reboot to really become a happier person. You deserve it. We all do.
People most often wish that they had spent more time with loved ones or made more time for themselves when they come to the end of their lives. You hardly ever hear “Gosh, I wish I had gone to more conventions and over committed myself more.”
YOU have made this choice NOW, TODAY. Well done. You are indeed a smart man.
Hate feeling burned out, sucks the joy out of everything. Peace dude.
I’m sorry for your situation, but I’m also impressed by what you’re doing: The right thing! My best wishes for your future, may the next day always be brighter than the day before.
“less than 100 people who care”
This probably won’t mean a ton to you, Wil… but I care. And It’s pretty obvious by the number of posts here, that I am not alone, and neither are you!
Keep up the good fight
Keep up being the awesome that is you
We’ll keep tuning in and enjoying
90% of the enjoyment you bring to my life is through the internet, the other 10% is through VHS of old Star Trek Episodes. Take care of yourself, and keep making interesting and inspirational videos to let everyone else know that “they aren’t the only ones”. You are a hero whether you like it or not.
I totally support this move, Wil, in part because it’s healthy and self-caring, and in part because I understand exactly what you’re going through. I’ve been there myself (and still am in many respects). Go be the awesome artist you are. Only the best things will come from it.
It’s your life, it’s your choice. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
The band analogy is a good one. It’s strange to admire and respect someone, and to be in a crowd of people who admire and respect the same person, and for the same reasons, and yet recognize that none of us actually know that person. And while we’d all be thrilled to be his friends, we have to be content being his fans.
The hardest part about being a fan of Wil Wheaton isn’t wanting to see him at a convention and being unable to, it’s wanting to communicate genuine appreciation and approval and having no meaningful way to do so; it’s wanting to convey a level of gratitude and support that don’t easily transmit when it’s coming from a stranger.
I think it’s because, despite not knowing me, Wil’s words and courage have so directly improved my life, have helped me in such tangible and measurable ways, that it almost hurts to have no way to return some of that courage and kindness to him, especially at the times when it seems like he could use some.
As this is the only channel open to me, I’m going to go for it: I like Wil a whole lot. I want him to be happy and healthy more than I want to meet him, or see him at a convention, or watch him on tv, or hear his voice in a video game. And as entertained as I always am by the things that Wil does, I hope that he wants to be happy more than he wants to entertain me.
Whatever will make Wil happy and healthy, I support 100%.
I’ve never met you, but regardless, I appreciate your courage and your transparency. All I can say is…when you need to write, write. That’s the answer. The answer is always “write.” Even when it makes you exhausted, or angry, or you’re experiencing avoidance; write. Write nonsense, write crap, write whatever you need to. Even if it’s “lalalalala i don’t want to,” write. I’m glad the rest of life is going well, and you are happy. I’m also deeply appreciative of your not phrasing your explanations in the form of an apology. Apropos of the writing…I did Artist’s Way, back in the day, and it helped. I’m in the process of contemplating doing it again as prep for grad school, and need to take my own advice. But it’s out there if you’re interested. https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-Julia-Cameron-ebook/dp/B006H19H3M?ie=UTF8&btkr=1&ref_=dp-kindle-redirect
Regardless, though. You rock. Thanks for being human and sharing your thoughts and your process. Wishing you the very best as you go through this. 🙂
Good for you. I wish more of you awesome public people would talk about these issues. I was very impressed with Wendig’s blog about his anxiety issues. You guys who talk to us about the “real life” things you go through let us know you are human and – well, real.
And I, for one, really look forward to more writing from you! Good stuff!
You do you man! Be the person you want to be, not the persona that “we” expect. You do you!
Wil,
I'm not sure if you read all these comments, but I hope you do. I just wanted to let you know that meeting you at HopCon last year was one of the highlights of... I can't figure out what, but it was huge. (My girlfriend was wearing the red Dalek dress and I was the bearded fool who rambled about trying to meet you and missing out on making it to a taping of "The Wil Wheaton Project" like a creepy stalker - though your story about meeting Billie Piper made me feel better.) I just finished reading through a few of your life reboot posts and, though I'm bummed that you won't be at HopCon this year (I've been going over what I would say this time to not sound like such a tool for several months - and I was hoping you would want to play some Bocce Ball), I'm very happy to hear that you're making the hard choices and doing what's right for you. I've dealt with depression in the past and am currently working on the weight I've packed on over the past few years (again), so I can relate to some of what you're going though/have gone through.There's over 200 comments on this post right now, and though I haven't checked for repeat posters, I'm pretty sure that means there are more than one hundred people in the world who read this post and care about what's going on with you, so give yourself a bit more credit.
I still need to watch season 2 of Powers, but I look forward to seeing whatever you're involved with next. Take care and hope to meet you again one day.
I am super stoked you’ll be at the con in the UK. I cant wait to meet you. And hope you’ll have had plenty of time between now and then to do your thing and feel refreshed and up for it. Self care is a good thing!
Cool! Skipping out for a while can be a very good thing. Your appearance will have more impact if you’re not around for a while. It works that way for everyone. Take the time to explore and reinvent. We’ll be waiting to see what you come up with! Maybe the Wil Wheaton Show with guest, Susie Lindau. Ha! I don’t think the world’s ready for me… 🙂
You will certainly be missed, and I imagine by a lot more of 100 people. But thank you for putting a stake in the ground and making time for yourself. Every time one of us does that, it gives permission for others to do the same.
Proud of you and inspired. You can’t be Wi Wheaton for us if you’re not Wil Wheaton for you. Go, restore and create. We’ll be here.
This is going to be my first year at GenCon, and I was looking forward to maybe running into you and saying hi. That being said, I’m glad that you are able to take a year off; sounds like you need it. I hope you find your creative spark again and maybe I’ll catch you next year.
Kudos to you for recognizing that there was a problem, and taking steps to stop the cycle. I hope you are able to find some peace and rejuvenation in your year off. Best wishes!
You have to be you to make the things people love you for.
If you’re burned out, you’re not you.
Take the time for yourself to become you again, and the people who love you will understand, and continue to do so.
…just don’t go Axl Rose on us all. 😛
Speaking of reboots – will you be involved with the new Star Trek series in any capacity?
I must be one of the hundred. And? I was a comic creator for a while, and conventions — even when they are fun — wear you out. You have to be “on” all day, and it can suck the life out of you. So? REST. RECHARGE. What you’ve done to date, still stands, and still matters. And it will continue to matter. You’ve made your mark. Now it’s time to find yourself again. Whatever that ultimately means, it’s all good.
Stay well. We look forward to seeing your next great thing.
Feel better man, that’s gotta be your priority number one!
It’s tough and draining to do good work if you don’t feel good.
We only get one life, the only duty you have is to be a good and kind person and from what I know of you, you have both of these qualities.
Take care of yourself and for those of us who care, we will still be here when you are ready to come back to the fold.
Well I’m glad you’re coming to England. This might be my one chance to say Hi and maybe get my copy of Happiest Days signed. Hope you feel up to it
Sometimes things need to be all about you, and it’s great that you’re taking a break to recognize that. Looking forward to seeing you at SDCC and W00tstock when you’re ready to return!
Will, you do not know me nor ever met me but I have been an admirer from afar. I just wanted to encourage you to just be you. Do what you have to to find your happy place. Concentrate on you and your family. That seems to me to be your center. Remember your fans care and support you. We will continue to be there for you. Reach out when you are able. I will be holding a life perserver waiting. Good luck and God bless!
Wil, You have an audience that doesn’t know you from Cons, doesn’t know you from your acting or even your talk shows. You have an audience that follows you because of your writing – your insightful, funny as $h1t, clever, and at times heartbreakingly emotional writing.
Whatever path you end up on after your rebooting is done, I hope to keep hearing your voice on your blog, on twitter, in whatever medium allows you the freedom and creativity you need to thrive and grow.
What good are cons if you’re not happy and also doing other creative things at your age? Do what you gotta do! I am a fan but I’ve never been to a convention. One day I hope to make it and it would be great to see you at one then. I’ll get much more out of watching you in something and/or reading something you’ve written. No guilt from your fan here. Go for it and enjoy your life. The last thing I want is to worry you didn’t take care of yourself and you came to hate what you are doing with your life. Just release all that crap and have a good life. You only get one… well… probably… but it is the only one you get for sure!
Thanks for putting your feelings out there. That you can still trust us all shows that you are strong and moving in a good direction. Just don’t disappear entirely. You do not have to run multiple marathons a year to consider yourself an athlete. Write and spend time with your family. Maaaybeee do an occasional podcast or a few blog posts 😉
I’m not a massive super fan, but I think you got more in you than to be unhappy. Sounds great that you’ve made a priority and are acting on it. For what it’s worth, I have to be person #101 who cares what you’re doing. Wish you well!
You are making the smart choice for you. Well done sir.
If you need a quiet space to help with your reboot, email me. I live in PA, next to an Amish farm. I have a spare room and WiFi. Good luck!
I am so sorry San Diego made you feel this way. Our city, especially when 400,000 guests descend can make it a madhouse. Come for a visit in winter, stay at one of the mountain inns, and relax. Most of all; get some rest. I wish the Great Muse to bless you with vast creative spirit. Be well.
I was looking fwd to meeting you at the LAs VEGAS con this August but I guess there will be other cons and another shows. I hope you feel better and find yourself, seems like you have been on a journey to a better place in your life… heres to the journey..
This is totally unrelated to the topic of this post…but here it is anyway…I love hearing how this journey is going for you and having you as a motivator to help me be a better me (down 65 pounds so far)…
My question is would Anne be willing to give us her perspective on this process. And would you be willing to let her drive the blog for a day or so…the self reflection is phenomenal and hugely motivating…but I’ve found that my transformation is having an immense positive impact on my loved ones too…I knew they’d be happy that I’m becoming a healthier me…but it’s affected them in ways I didn’t anticipate
Rest up and enjoy doing what you love. Fans will still be there when you are ready to break back into the world.
cheers
Everyone should have a sabbatical before they get to the “burned-out; hate it” stage – you included. We’ll miss you, but know that we care more about your health and happiness than any one event. We’ll catch you next time!
Wil, you don’t owe anyone an appearance nor an apology… or an explanation. You have your own life and have the right to live it as you wish or need to. Take care of yourself… there’s alwsys more cons when yiu want to attend 🙂
Good on ya! take the time you need to care for yourself.
I’ve watched you and paid attention to you for so many years and I am actually glad to read you writing these things. There will be bits and pieces of you-i-used-to-watch I will miss, I’m sure, but I look forward to seeing what new-improved you produces. You aren’t an automaton sent to entertain the rest of us because we demand it. You’re this kinda cool guy with cool ideas and things to handle, stuff to do. Go, do it. I’ll be hanging out to see what happens. Thanks for sharing with us and letting us watch.
I heard a quote one time that I’ve used multiple times since. “Sometimes you have to get rid of the good to make way for the best.” That’s what you are doing. #selfcare
Wow Will, you just described my situation to a “T’!
Sounds like a solid plan. Enjoy!
‘ME’ is most important, whether you are a celebrity or not, because we are all human. We are all human whether we work at the local grocer or in film. Fame, fortune, family, a good job…may help but they do not always hold back the frailties of spirit we might all face. You were my hero growing up for being that nerd on star trek helping with some big adult problems! It made me not feel so weird as a nerdy child growing up facing adult problems. You are still my hero now for speaking up on depression and anxiety. Again I do not feel so alone as I battle my own bouts of depression and Anxiety. Seeing you have the Strength to take care of yourself despite the pressures and expectations you face…gives me the strength to fight my own battles. If I do meet you at a con one day I hope it will be because you have taken the time to become whole again and enjoy those moments again and not before! Thank you for taking care of you!
You have to do you. The older we get the more clearer things become. One thing being how damn quickly time is slipping away. I’d rather live a simple life that is fulfilling than a full and busy life that is empty. Enjoy you.