My life reboot is going well. Though I make lots of jokes about how I’ve traded everything I liked in my life for water and exercise, I really do feel good. The changes I made to my life, which I’ve committed to maintaining, are making a positive difference in every area of my existence, and I love it.
I’m having a massive existential crisis about being an actor right now, but that’s a whole thing that I’m not going to get into in public until I’ve had more time to think about it, and talk about it with my friends who are other creative people.
But other than that whole thing, I’m happy. I’m taking good care of myself physically, emotionally, and mentally.
So that’s why I’m not going to any conventions this year, except a single one in England this October. This means I won’t be at San Diego Comicon, including w00tstock, or HopCon.
There are probably less than one hundred people in the world who care about that, but if you’re one of them, read on and I’ll tell you why.
Last year I had a miserable time at Comicon. I didn’t enjoy w00tstock, and I just felt like I was “off” during HopCon. I felt massively anxious, uncomfortable in my own skin, and afraid of everything the whole time I was in San Diego. I did a good job of wearing the mask of a person, and I was pretty good as imitating the things that people do, so only the people who know me very well could tell that I didn’t want to be there.
GenCon was awful. I spent the entire convention having meetings with people, trying to repair the damage that someone I thought was my friend had done to me, Tabletop, and all the hard work I’d done for many years.
Every single time I saw that I had to travel for a convention, I spent the whole week hoping that something would happen so that I couldn’t go. Once I got there, I did my best to honor the people who waited to meet me, I did my best to perform well when I was on stage, and I had a few genuine moments of happiness, but I mostly felt tired and overwhelmed.
One of the things I haven’t talked about that is part of my life reboot is making more time for myself. It’s about setting limits, saying no to things even if I think they’ll be fun, and doing my work, instead of someone else’s work.
I realize that this is totally #FirstWorldCelebrityProblems, but I have to take this year off from personal appearances and conventions. I have to stay home and write. I have to find my way back to the art. I have to find my way back to being a creative person who makes stories and characters and creative things, instead of being a person who hosts stuff, does things which are transactional nonfiction, and spends lots of time on the road talking about those things.
The imperfect comparison I’ve been using is that I feel like I’m in a band. I worked really hard for a long, long time to record a record that people liked, and when I finally did, I went out on tour to support it … but I haven’t been able to write or record a new album. It’s like I’ve been on tour so long, I’m starting to resent playing the songs I used to love, and I am just tired and uninterested in doing the shows.
So this summer, I’m not going to be at a lot of the places the few of you who are reading this have gotten used to seeing me. I’m totally burned out, and it interacting with me at any of these things this summer wouldn’t be awesome for me or you.
If everything goes according to plan, I’ll spend the rest of this year writing stories, making podcasts, doing a few narrative fiction film projects, and maybe even somehow getting on-camera work as an actor. If everything goes according to plan, I’m going to create a lot of new stuff this year, and next year I’ll be excited to share it, perform it, and take it to some of the places I’m not going this year.
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Wil… I think it is a great idea to slow down a bit and take some things off your plate for awhile. With an intensely busy schedule, who has time to think, much less create? I sure don’t. I’m sure with the larger chunks of free time, you will do amazing things.
Will, it sounds like you are on a path of transformation. During a really challenging time in my world, which is not by any means publicized like yours, I read a great book by Pema Chodron called, ‘When things fall apart’. It’s not one of those ‘you know what; self helpy’ type of books. It was an extremely unknown path I was on and it helped greatly. It gave me solace and pause. Not that you asked, just thought I would pass that on. Being a musician, songwriter myself for many years very committed to my craft out of necessity (so I didn’t lose my mind)…I understand that ’empty gut’ feeling when your creative juices stop flowing and decide to take a break on you. It can be very scary. However, getting a little perspective always helps so go and get some if you have the time and means. Get into some pranayama purification breathing or yoga too (https://yogainternational.com/article/view/breathe-for-balance). Keep taking care of yourself like you are and keep your arms open and your heart like you seem to be. Remember, there is nobody is as cool and unique as you in the world. You’ve done some great acting and have had some amazing opportunities, maybe it’s time to do something new, take an adjacent path or a totally different route. I can’t even imagine what it might have been like to have some of your experiences. Get the f*** out of LA too. It’s a poisonous ‘me, me, me’ place where everyone is a caricature of themselves with the world revolving around them. You don’t need all it now it sounds like. Finally, when I’m in that space, I typically fin a new surrounding to inspire me. BTW, I’m a home brewer too and I really have enjoyed your brewing videos. So great! Keep doing what ‘YOU’ love and what YOU are passionate about. From one brother from a different mother. Cheers!
Wil, we don’t agree on a couple of things most of the time, but on this I wholeheartedly agree. It’s right to take time for you. You need to enjoy your work to be the best and if you aren’t getting anything from it, no one else will. So, refresh, reboot and rejoin the human race.
Good luck
Thank you for blogging and sharing your thoughts. I hope you find a project or two soon for a creative outlet. It is nice to have fellow geeks with a voice in the world! Please keep sharing and no worries about not attending appearances this year from one of the “less than one hundred”. Do what you need to do for you!
Mr. Wheaton (and no, not your father ;-)),
I wanted to say that as I was binging Tabletop recently and discovered the hiatus in the show, I came across the news as to why and that led me here. Thank you so much for the show. My wife and I both enjoy watching it even though her confidence level with games ends at about the “Monopoly” level of complexity while mine is more of a “Through the Ages/Merchant of Venus” level. I am sorry to have read about all of the issues and trolling that has taken place regarding the show. Too often those of us who truly enjoy something sit in content silence while bellicose and over-reacting voices rise up from the extreme minority. Given everything in this situation, however, I just wanted to voice my support for you and your overall endeavors. I have been a fan of yours for your entire career, and I hope to see you back in the mix soon! I’ve been where you’re describing now so my thoughts are with you as you move forward (ever forward).
M. Drummond
P.S.- I smell a meme… #firstworldcelebrityproblems 😉
P.S.S.- Check out the aforementioned “Merchant of Venus”. It’s a fun space romp! It’s probably too complex for the show, but it is a great one on one game to play with that friend who always picks you right up as you race them across a forgotten space sector.
Ooh. That’s sad that you’re not gonna be there at the Comicon. But again, I understand you’re taking out some “MeTime” and I hope you enjoy it.
When you said less than a hundred people care, just look here. there are 350 plus comments already.
Maybe not all, but there could be a little Sheldon cooper who’d feel betrayed when you don’t show up at the comicon!! (J.K.)
Have a happy time!
Just heard about a Stand By Me 30th anniversary event in Brownsville, OR that’s happening next month. Looked up your blog to see if you’d mentioned it. Sounds like your time off will keep you out of the PNW this summer. Bummer. If you have a change of heart, then I’m sure the town would love to see you there. There’s also a geocaching event that weekend that I thought it would be awesome for you to attend, if you’re still into that hobby. Going out and finding a few caches on a hike in the mountains can help clear the mind sometimes. Also helps tire me out so I fall asleep at a decent hour, instead of staying up until the wee hours of the morning. Take care!
I wish you well. Its good to take time for yourself when you know its time. I think there are moments in the creative life when we stop without having a good reason or even having a reason. Muses like to mess with our brains thing. It may sound cool to say I don’t know but it sure doesn’t feel all that spiffy when in truth you don’t know. You can sort of wake up wondering what the were you doing. Its like those morning when waking up without aches, dreads or pain it feels like you’ve been kidnapped by aliens, had all the bull erased, know for sure you came before the egg thing.
And I’m sure there are more than a hundred reading this. There are those who don’t leave a footprint visiting blogs.
Wil, you’d be much better of going to Vegas instead of that scam Showmasters run event in England. You won’t enjoy it one bit. Jason Joiner upset so many main Trek cast members who went to his first two Star Trek cons that none of them will work with him, hence the tiny guest list for what Joiner is laughably calling Europe’s biggest Star Trek event.
Honored to be one of the “100 people who care” and while I don’t know if you remember…my apologies for shouting “h-wipped cream” at you while you were getting in the elevator last year at SDCC. I still get flack for that from my friends!
Best to you and thank you for what you have given!
“Every single time I saw that I had to travel for a convention, I spent the whole week hoping that something would happen so that I couldn’t go.”
I CAN RELATE TO THIS 100%!!!
My favorite hobby (Society for Creative Anachronism) brings this out in me. I had to step down from a very visible office (Baroness) to take care of my mental health. Any other office I’ve tried has led me to this point as well. I felt as if I was letting other people down but it was damaging to my Self to continue trying. The freedom to Not Care once you give yourself permission is so … so … well, freeing!
It still hits me at regular events, too.
I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself. Even if that means you never go to another con ever again. Thank you for your inspiration!
I was disappointed to find out you won’t be at w00tstock this year but I totally understand and wish you the best. I hope you’re getting nothing but support in your decision. I’m a big fan of your work and I look forward to seeing what you come up with in the future.
You can count my two friends and I among the people who will miss you at W00tSt0ck and ComicCon this year. We actually got into a fun debate on which of us was a bigger fan. You make a great host for panels and tell wonderful stories at W00tst0ck. (Most memorable being Spicy Dick Milk.) We will very much miss you, but it’s ok! It really is! It’s important to take time for yourself. Anyone can understand that. We sincerely hope you feel better and we look forward to seeing you in the future.
I hope you’re recharged in time for JoCo Cruise, Ensign Wheaton. I promise we won’t call you “Willy” this time. The former king will be keelhauled for his hubris.