One of the many delightful* things about having Depression and Anxiety is occasionally and unexpectedly feeling like the whole goddamn world is a heavy lead blanket, like that thing they put on your chest at the dentist when you get x-rays, and it’s been dropped around your entire existence without your consent.
Physically, it weighs heavier on me in some places than it does in others. I feel it tugging at the corners of my eyes, and pressing down on the center of my chest. When it’s really bad, it can feel like one of those dreams where you try to move, but every step and every motion feels like you’re struggling to move through something heavy and viscous. Emotionally, it covers me completely, separating me from my motivation, my focus, and everything that brings me joy in my life.
I live with Depression and Anxiety. I take medication, I practice meditation and CBT, and I see a therapist regularly to help me handle it. It doesn’t control my life, and it doesn’t define my life … but when it’s really bad, it sure feels like it does. When it’s really bad, it feels like it is the only thing in my entire life, the Alpha and Omega of my existence.
And so it was on Saturday. I’d felt it a little bit during the week, but I honestly couldn’t tell if it was the slow, relentless suffocation of anxiety, or if I was just really tired. I also have occasional mono flareups, because that lives inside my body, and it could have been that, even. The fun** thing about anxiety and exhaustion is that, for me, they feel largely indistinguishable from each other, and one typically feeds the other in a perpetual motion cycle that is horribly efficient.
But by Saturday, I felt terrible.I didn’t want to be a victim, and I didn’t want to be a prisoner in my own life, so I took a walk that turned into a run that turned into a walk, that turned back into a run. It was really hard to keep going, but I did it, and while I was out on the road, listening to my playlist and exercising my body, I tried to use the rational part of my brain to objectively look back on the week, and figure out what the hell happened to open the anxiety floodgates. I got a ton of writing done, and I enjoyed every bit of it. I’m super proud of the work I’m doing, and I think I’m going to have something that’s worth publishing when it’s finished. I don’t feel creatively stifled like I did as recently as a month ago, so that couldn’t be it. I even had an audition I didn’t expect, for a role that I was perfect for, on a show that I love, that —
And there it was. The audition.
If you’re one of those people who decides that talking about this is whining, please stop reading this now and go fuck yourself.
I auditioned for this show about a year ago, and I nailed it. I know that I nailed it, because the producers told me I nailed it, and they wanted to wait until there was a larger role on the show for me, instead of using me to play a character that was in and out in a single episode. So when they called me back for a different role last week, a role that was on a few episodes and was right in my wheelhouse, I thought “this is the thing they were talking about! This is the thing I am going to book!”
For at least ten years — a fucking decade — I never book the job, so it’s really, really hard to go into auditions and not feel like Charlie Brown running toward the football. But this time was different. I prepared, I did a great job in the room, casting told me I did a great job in the room, and I even asked my friend who is on the show if they wouldn’t mind putting in a good word for me.
I had the audition on Wednesday, and for most of thursday, I let myself feel hopeful. But by the end of the day, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I felt like an idiot for getting my hopes up, I was embarrassed and humiliated that I asked my friend to help me out, and I felt like a jackass for letting myself believe that this time anything would be different.
So that’s where all my anxiety was coming from. That’s why I didn’t sleep well all week. That’s why I felt the lead apron of Depression and Anxiety fall over me and wrap itself around me: I let myself feel like it could maybe happen, while I was simultaneously trying really hard not to get my hopes up.
I realize that to anyone who doesn’t have the stupid fucking mental illness that I have this seems really, incredibly, profoundly stupid. Most of being an actor who auditions is about being rejected, passed over, not chosen. It’s just the math of it.
But I let myself believe that this time was different. Just like I let myself hope that the time before it was different.
But it’s never different. It’s never going to be different, until it suddenly is different, and there’s nothing I can do to make that change … but I have to hope and somehow believe that this time it will be different, or I may as well hang it all up.
and that’s why i feel like i’m suffocating.
*not at all delightful
**not at all fun
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For whatever it’s worth, I’ve had crippling bouts of anxiety over things waaaaay more trivial than that.
Oh, crap. Wil, you’ve got my deepest sympathies. I wish I could offer something more concrete or helpful, but dammit, you are a good actor. It’s going to break for you at some point — the law of averages says so.
Wil, I don’t know if you read these comments, but I know what you’re talking about when you say you get your hopes up when you’re also not trying to get your hopes up. I have mental illnesses too. Anxiety and depression are awful (with me I also have mania and psychosis thrown in) and I hear what you’re saying about feeling like you’re in a dream, where lifting your legs is heavy and difficult. These posts where you talk about anxiety and depression really mean something to me, and I hope you keep writing about how real they are to you. Please keep ignoring the dicks who say you’re whining. It’s inspiring to hear you doing something about it, as difficult as it is for you, like taking a walk/run. Or other little things for yourself. And I’m glad you’ree writing again. I hope it does get published so others can read it.
I read all the comments that are left on my blog, and I appreciate this. Thank you.
Aw, man! That’s pretty heavy. I struggle with depression from time to time, and anxiety is hell when I go out and do something I’m not 100% comfortable with–well, anything new, pretty much. I guess sometimes it’s tied to wanting things to wanting things to be good but knowing it’ll be absolutely soul-destroying… and thinking things’ll turn out terrible when actually they aren’t that bad. No matter which way round things are, it still hurts. It’s still heavy. I assume you didn’t get the part?
Virtual hugs from across the internet. I wish you lots of luck and more auditions because I love seeing you in things. And if there is something that we as fans and viewers and whatnot can do to help you out, let us know! I would love to be able to let producers know that I would like to see you in more things, but I have no idea how I would do that.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Needing to take that walk or do something physical to process what your body and mind are doing and why. The relentless anxiety and depression that come from continuing to put yourself out there and risk rejection again and again. The feelings of shame and embarrassment. I’m so sorry you feel this way right now. I’m an artist, and they say you have to grow a thick skin and get used to rejection, but no matter how many times you put your work out there, the rejections never get easier, especially if you have anxiety and depression.
I so appreciate everything you do for and share with your fans. I’ve been a fan for years, and was delighted with the things you were sharing as an adult on the Internet, including actively making it a better place by reminding people not to be dicks. But writing about your experiences with mental illness have resonated with me deeply, and I so appreciate that.
I hope you get to feeling better. Hugs.
Will, I do not struggle with depression as you do and my struggles with anxiety present themselves differently, however I think that what you are experiencing is not stupid in any way and that the things you are coping with are completely normal for someone making themselves vulnerable though their art and creativity. Anyone who says differently doesn’t know what they are talking about. Hang in there, man.
It’s not stupid at all. I went through kind of the same thing last week. I’m out of work right now, and there was this one job I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted. I was perfect for it. The recruiter thought I was perfect for it. I didn’t get it. Following that news, I then received rejections from every job I had applied for for the last three weeks. My asshole Depression Brain interpreted this as me being completely worthless. I’ve spent the last three days trying to climb out of a hole. It helps to hear when other people go through the same thing (although I wish none of us had to go through it at all). Anyway, thank you for writing about this.
Self-doubt is a crippler even for someone who doesn’t have anxiety. I know it doesn’t help, but I get a thrill when I see you are going to guest on shows I watch. Whether you get the gig or not, what you do is important to all of us.
#youareenough
Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles have a campaign. You should join them. The more actors come out as being normal, the more normal others feel.
Virtual hugs, and know that you are enough.
It’s hard to know what to say. But what I’ll say is this: you bring so much joy and laughter to so many people in so many ways. I hope that you know this and that knowledge can be one of those things that help you fight your battle.
I hope next week is better for you. Sometimes it seems like anxiety hits at the oddest time. After a deadline or a stressful time…when everything should be calm. Then it hits. It’s so odd. Hang in there. I really enjoy your blog, and I know you weren’t trying to be funny, but this line made me chuckle: “If you’re one of those people who decides that talking about this is whining, please stop reading this now and go fuck yourself.” 🙂 That’s awesome, and I smile every time I read that. I also enjoy seeing you on the screen, and I hope the next part is yours. You deserve it.
Just watched Dark Matter 2.9 this past Friday. As my husband* (who has only watched through 1.3 of DM) was walking through the room, he glances up and says “Is that Will Wheaton on Dark Matter?” I replied, “Yep! He’s playing a wonderfully slimy megalomaniac.” Then my other husband,** (who has only incidentally watched DM out of the corner of his eye) started really enthusing about your performance. Together we chatted for 20 minutes about how your character was totally horrible and yet completely reasonable and logical if we looked at things from his (the character’s) point of view. You do a good job and we enjoy you on screen. Hugs.
*Serious speculative fiction book/movie/art/gaming/comic geek – horror/scifi/fantasy/superhero – you name it, he’s into it.
**Thinks Kafka is funny, likes cerebral fiction/movies and/but has a weakness for Trek, published journalist/biographer
[Yep – my life is rich and complex.]
Another fan who just wants you to know that we appreciate you for who you are and it helps us lesser mortals know that depression and anxiety affect us all. If only you knew how much you are loved. Thanks
I understand 100%. I’m dealing with my own anxiety and depression, so what you said echoes home for me. I’ve been in this situation (not with auditions of course, but other things like interviews) and it sucks. You aren’t alone, and I think you’re doing good for fellow sufferers by writing about it, because your voice has a bit more power than your average joe. Your blog posts (and your wife’s, when she writes about it) managed to kick my butt into gear and go see someone about my stuff, after all. The more people that see professionals, the better, I think.
But I digress. Don’t let them tell you you’re whining. To anyone who’s suffered these diseases, we know silly little things can be a legit problem to us. Sometimes you need to write about it, and your blog is your blog. If they don’t like it, tough.
I’ve experienced a fragment of what you’re going through. I’ve been querying a novel for about a year and a half, and every one of those 60+ query letters felt like THIS would finally be the one. I don’t pretend to know what true anxiety feels like, so I won’t be a dick and to try to give you advice. What I found was an incredible community of writers on Twitter who have been nothing but supportive and uplifting, and having that shared experience is a blessing. If it helps, you’ve always been one of my favorite people, and I have really enjoyed those occasions in the last few years when you’ve seeped into my media consumption. Thanks for being who you are and doing what you do.
I’m in the trenches with you. I’m not getting help right now because I’m being an asshole to myself, but I try not to talk about with friends family because I think they think that I’m complaining. Sigh.
Anyway, keep pushing through. You’re ok.
As the spouse of someone who shares a similar struggle, I have to say you are so brave and strong to keep at it! Hope is never dumb. It is part of what makes this crazy stupid world worth living in. Thank you for your words and depth of sincerity. You, Wil W are making a positive impact with your life. Thank you!!
It’s hard enough to deal with that monster known as the job hunt without the constant weight of depression. Watching my wife, who does struggle with depression and anxiety, go through the constant revolving door of interview and rejection was painful enough for me as an observer and I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to be personally living that. Don’t be afraid to lean on family a bit. When it comes to my family, I always want to help… I’m just a bit clueless sometimes. But I’m learning and growing every day. I hope.
Thank you for your courage to own and share your narrative! As one who has similar struggles, I know how difficult that can be. Please know that for every critic or hater, there are many (who may be more silent) to whom you are transmitting courage and understanding — and for that I say THANK YOU! As one who also practices meditation, may I ask what form or tradition of meditative practice you draw from?
I wish you resolve everytime you have a bout!!!
I needed this today, Wil. I really did. I have been having ongoing anxiety and depression for the past several months. So deep that I haven’t felt like I could reach the surface for air. And it’s not the suffocation that is the worst part for me. It’s the part of me that doesn’t want to talk about it with anyone because I shouldn’t cause anyone to bear this weight. It’s the part of me that, despite knowing that I don’t want to talk about it with anyone, feels so utterly alone. I finally started talking to my husband about it a little bit and brought it up with my doctor, who has gotten me a referral to see a therapist about it. He is worried about me and thinks that I need to talk to someone. It can feel like the most painful and lonely experience. I hate to hear that you go through it, but maybe knowing others do and talk about it helps. Thank you for sharing this with us. You are not alone, just as (now that I am finally admitting it to myself) I am not alone.
Sending you supportive thoughts. I adore your writing, and wish I could do more than just day that I heard you and am thinking of you.
That was a spot description of what it feels like. Thanks for putting it into words. Just to let you know- you are an engaging writer and actor. We enjoy everything you do.
Hello Wil, I’ve been a long time fan of your work on line via iTunes, and here on the net. Your candor about the all too human side of being a creative person has always resonated with me over the years, and your example has encouraged me to remain centered, and true to myself, and not be a dick. When I see you suffering this way, I know it’s just words on a monitor, but I truly hope and encourage you to defeat every battle you ever have with depression because I (and many others) value your work immensely. You help a lot of us see our way though the dark, and to the light by your example.
You talked through it…you figured it out…one step closer to telling anxiety to fuck off.
Wil, I deal with crippling depression often, and I know it’s near-impossible to internalize this kind of sentiment while mired in it, but from my personal third-party perspective, your acting worth and ability isn’t measured in the roles you DON’T get, but in the roles you’ve done so far.
Just from my perspective, everything I’ve ever seen you in was a memorable role, defined by what you uniquely brought to it.
There will be more. You will surpass your temporary set-backs.
Hang in there.
I really enjoyed your performances in the most recent seasons of Powers and Dark Matter. Looking forward to seeing you in other stuff too. Thanks for persevering!
Remember how we keep chanting “depression lies” and “anxiety lies?”
They’ve been lying to you again this week. Like they lie to so many of us. I’m not an actor; have never been to an audition. But I’m every bit as susceptible to the feeling that my depression is completely ridiculous and undeserved. I’m a white woman living in the USA–so much privilege I was born into. That, alone, is enough ammo for the destructive voice in my head.
Yes, the parents divorced, but, no, there was no childhood trauma. Yes, we were poor, but I still got a decent education and a couple of degrees and a chance at a good life. Yes, I’m an adult child of a father with narcissistic personality disorder and a passive-aggressive, co-dependent mother, but, also, I’m an adult. I get to make my own choices.
So, what the hell do I have to be depressed about??!!
Ah, the lies depression tells.
I went to a therapist a long time ago, who, for what reason I still cannot fathom, began our first session by handing me a slim children’s book about grief. She had written it after a horrific freeway accident had taken one of her children and left her, her husband, and her remaining child all critically injured. After that, it was very difficult for me feel “justified” in “whining” about my cushy life. Had she meant to show me that I had it better than most? No, I think it was her way of sharing something very personal about herself in exchange for the very personal stuff she was asking me to share in our sessions. Maybe a way to show me that anything can be overcome. But the effect was to feed into that terrible voice, the one that’s constantly telling me I don’t deserve to feel this depressed.
If only that voice were truly motivating!
Anyway, just another sufferer here to tell you that your pain is not stupid. It’s frustrating, and it seems so unforgivingly inexplicable, but it’s not stupid.
Your pain is. It exists.
If we could change it with our minds, we would. Unfortunately, it’s our minds that produce and perpetuate it. Not necessarily with the negative messages the self-help gurus earnestly tell us we can “reprogram,” but with the chemicals, or lack thereof, that keep us blanketed in a world of grey.
I’m glad you identified the contributing factor — and hope that it helps you resurface, and breathe easier, sooner.
I’m sorry you didn’t get the job… and I’m sorry as well we don’t get to see you in more shows! And its tremendously sour that when you do everything right and all the other factors seem right, right still doesn’t happen. Thank you though for speaking openly about anxiety and depression, it’s helped me in some of my toughest moments (even as recently as yesterday). Unrelated to that, it’s awesome to hear your story is going well, exciting stuff cooking in your kitchen! Happy writing 🙂
A huge reason that I struggled with anxiety/depression for as long as I did without getting help was because I felt so alone in all of it, that it was something I was doing or not doing and that everyone else had it together and I should too. When I finally talked to my doctor and started working with a therapist, it was like a window had been opened and the crisp fresh air that came in made me able to breathe well for the first time in a long time. Your openness on your own blog about the realities of how there are still some not so great days mixed in with the super good ones is honestly refreshing because it allows us to see that through it all, the essence of who you are, the causes you believe in and how you want to contribute to the world at large is still there, and it reminds me that on the days where I am having a harder time, who I am and what I value are still there, even if I have to work a little harder at making things happen. Thank you for being brave so the rest of us feel that we can be too.
I have the same maladies sir – and on whatever level it is possible, I understand where you are right now… I was once in it deep and had been for a significant amount of time, when this really cool guy (that was in one of my favorite Sci-Fi shows and wrote some really great books) commented on a piece of mini-zombie fiction I posted on a collaborative fiction web site and I felt better. Not like magic wand better, but it was so cool to hear from an author and actor and one of my nerd heros that my stuff was cool – yup, you’re that guy and you made a difference when I was in a dark place. I hope you have lots of those kinds of things come your way soon…
I love to see you in anything. Their loss…. Well, ours too. There’s always the next time. I’ve given up on looking for a better job and just counting the days to retirement with drugs.
Love you, Wil. Or, at least I’m very fond of your online persona :p.
Keep breathing in and out. Keep making thing to fill the holes big and small where there wasn’t a thing before. And play more games.
Thanks for writing about such things. Anxiety is my thing, might have depression but I’ve been like this forever so it seems normal. Bipolar is my husbands. It does feel better to know that others feel this way too. Know that you’ve helped us just because you are willing to share your experiences. My doc gave me meds for OCD, and they do help with the anxiety, stopping the constant review of actions taken.
I’m not sure why you would have yourself in these positions. You are The Goddam Wil Wheaton! Which of course puts you in a strange typecast position when it comes to getting “normal” acting gigs. Your power is in your Brand. Put your thoughts and energy into that. Surround yourself with a team that can bring your plans to life,(Like G&S). Why should The Goddam Wil Wheaton be a cog in anyone else’s machine? Most of us will never have the power you have to create you OWN reality. USE IT!
I’m not going to say I understand what you go through, because obviously we are different people. I get anxiety and depression as well, though probably less so than you, as I don’t medicate, and just attempt to deal with it through mindfulness. Sometimes it works, other times not so much. Getting your hopes up isn’t a bad thing. Hope can be what drives us, and yes can lead to disappointment. But I find the key thing to go along with hope is persistence. I’ll speak for myself (and I’m sure there are many others here), and say I hope you never stop, please keep going. I admire what you do (in all your endeavours), and how open you are about all this. I’m sure it’s helpful to many. I’m pretty abysmal creatively, but you’ve inspired me to write. I used to hate writing, so A+ for effort inspiring me to try sir.
Wil,
Thank you for sharing these kinds of posts. My wife suffers from depression and anxiety, and reading your posts has helped me to better understand what she’s going through. Please continue writing (both your blog and your short stories/novellas/Homerian epics). The slices of your life you choose to share with us are always worth the read. On the acting front, well, keep doing that too. You’ve played some of my favorite characters over the years, from TNG to Eureka to Dark Matter to your fantastic turn as a villain on Criminal Minds. Always a treat to watch you work, and I love to see what you’ll come up with next. In short, keep being awesome.
Oh Wil. I am so sorry. I also have depression that’s comorbid with a panic disorder. I know exactly what you mean. Please be gentle with yourself.
This weekend I stopped washing the dishes in the middle of rinsing a glass because I was hit with one of those waves of futility and apathy. (Kind of funny in retrospect—I literally had a half-full, half-empty glass in my hand at the exact moment of impact.) It can happen anywhere, anytime, for any reason. There’s always a bigger iceberg lurking beneath the little things.
You’re doing great, Wil. Keep going.
You are not alone in this, Will. Here’s a song that just popped into my head as soon as I read the last paragraph of your post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKEFLk0vIZk
I’ve been fighting the Anxiety for over a week now. Is there something in the fucking air/stars/moon/sun?! Anyway. When I exercise I feel SO GOOD and SO HAPPY and I think “Man, that fixed me. Endorphins are magic.” And then they wear off and here I am again….questioning everyone, trying not to be a bother but turning into a bother anyway, wanting to just lay down and cry instead, being afraid on a hike that I’ve done previously without fear. I’m exhausted. But I’m glad you share so openly so those of us out here that are surrounded by people that don’t fully understand don’t feel so alone. Keep pushing. Anxiety and depression are liars.
To everyone that commented before me….Keep pushing. Anxiety and depression are liars.
Thank you for writing this! I’ve been squashed with anxiety for the past week with no idea why…and reading this made my jaw drop because I’m in a very similar situation, and I’m now 100% sure this is the cause. It’s funny how hope can be so overwhelmingly stressful; it feels like there’s a very active war going on in my chest between “This is so perfect! You’ll get this for sure!” and “Forget it, forget it, don’t even bother waiting to hear back.”
I love your work, and it’s great that the writing is going so well! Sending peaceful vibes your way.
Hope is like kryptonite to people with depression, especially in situations where you have to keep doing things and then hope there’s a different outcome than last time. I went through this when we were battling bureaucratic BS to get services for our daughter- and we didn’t have a choice. I can only imagine what it’s like to audition for something and then keep waiting and hoping(I used to be a child actor- I don’t have any adult experience), you have my eternal respect and admiration for continuing to follow your career and dream, even when depression tries to derail you.
I don’t believe anyone who hasn’t personally experienced that moment when you’re in bed and it requires more energy than you can possibly muster to get out of bed, or when brushing your teeth is the equivalent of what you think climbing Mount Everest must be like, or you’re too exhausted to stand up long enough to take a shower can possibly relate to the physical / emotional / mental experience of a severe case of depression.
That being said, I SO appreciate those that, even though they can’t possibly understand it on a personal level, are unflinchingly, unwaveringly, unselfishly supportive. I once heard a member of a religious community speak of “the ministry of presence”. If you are wondering what you can do for someone experiencing the depths of depression, anxiety, or any other mental OR PHYSICAL illness, that pretty much sums it up. Be present—physically if possible; if not, be available by phone, or text, or e-mail, or Skype, or however you CAN be. Ask if you can do a load of laundry. Ask if you can bring a meal, walk a dog, or some other small (to you) task that may, just in the moment, be impossible for that person to accomplish. Be prepared to hear “no, thank you”—whether from a place of pride, a place of (invalid) shame, or a place that just can’t deal with being in the same room with someone else, or from a place that can’t even manage the smallest effort to coordinate letting you perform the task you offer to do, no matter.
Practice acceptance and empathy to the best of your ability. Educate yourself and, above all, don’t make suggestions as to how someone can get “better”. Recognize your own lack of experience / ignorance about what they’re going through and continue loving and supporting them, even when you don’t understand—especially when you don’t understand. Let them know that you’re there, without judgment, to do anything you can to assist them, or to just leave them alone and welcome them with open arms and an open heart when they can be welcomed again. You’ll probably be frustrated, but realize that your frustration pales in comparison to theirs. As hard as it is for you to make plans with someone and have them bow out at the last minute, what they’re experiencing that causes them to bow out is exponentially worse. “I’m sorry I won’t see you today—I look forward to seeing you when I can” is a wonderful thing to hear.
This is rough stuff, no doubt. Even if I’m doing all the right things—medication, meditation, exercise, therapy, whatever—what was brilliantly described as “The Noonday Demon” by Andrew Solomon (a book I highly recommend) can raise its devouring head regardless. Depression is an isolating illness which is exacerbated by those who drop by the wayside because they just “can’t deal” with its symptoms in others. The person with the depression doesn’t have a choice—they HAVE to deal. Don’t give up on them. Don’t give up on yourself—you are stronger than that, just as they are stronger than the depression.
I don’t know if it’s possible to laugh just yet, but hopefully soon, and maybe at this absurdity: My most memorable 72-hour full-blown panic attack was due to hiring a qualified guy for a job and not hiring some unqualified people. Yes, I know it makes no sense. The part that set me off was that he was the friend of a current employee who gave him a glowing recommendation, and I convinced myself that’s the only reason I hired him. This was 15 years ago and he has been a stellar employee, but writing about it still makes my heart beat fast. But at least now it’s accompanied by a chuckle,
We’re with you out here. Sending you love and light and peace.
Hey Will. I feel you and I’m thinking of you and hoping in some weird “I don’t know you, but I care about you” way it helps a bit. You are not alone.
Posts like this are so important. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. The work will come and some days the right pieces will even fit together. You’re good at what you do, and that includes supporting your fans by including us in these parts of your journey. It matters to a lot of us that you do this. It isn’t easy. Thank you.
Wil, I just want to say thank you for writing about your experiences. Sometimes it feels like no one else gets it. I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager and I have been on meds for the last two decades. Despite that I’ve never truly been free of it and I know it’s always there. Your sharing has made a difference to me. I’m not alone, and you hit the nail right on the head.
Your words are helping people. Just to know that someone else is out there who understands what you are going through is a big deal. Don’t let anyone minimize that, including yourself. Beyond that you clearly entertain people and bring them joy whether it’s through your writing or your acting, or any of the great projects that you’ve been part of.
Thank you for what you do. You do good things and you matter to a lot of folks. I hope that you feel better soon.
So sorry the Black Dog has returned to lie heavily upon your chest. Breathe slowly, just keep breathing and, as he has before, the miserable canine will eventually move on. We are all with you, and, though few of us know you personally, care about your wellbeing as a fellow human person. Best wishes to you.