This thing I started writing a few weeks ago, which was supposed to be part of a short story collection, has completely taken on its own life, and instead of being a quick 3500 word thing about a single event, it’s become (as of today) a little over 21,000 words about the fragility of friendship, and what that means when we’re at that weird time in our lives between elementary and middle school.
I’m pretty sure that I’m in the middle of the second act, so maybe this will finish up in another 10,000 words or so. Once that happens, I’ll set it aside for a couple of days to let my brain get some perspective, and then I’ll go over the whole thing to see if it even holds together.
I started writing this because I loved Stranger Things so much, and it made me remember a bunch of stuff about the summer of 1983, when I was 11 years-old. It was the first time I had a real crush on anyone, the first time I learned that adults can be horrible even though they’re adults and they aren’t supposed to be horrible (especially to kids), and what it’s like to lose friends who are important to us.
Some of it is true, most of it isn’t, but all of it has been incredibly rewarding and fun to write. Today, I’m finishing up a thing is on one level about making a sandcastle, but is also about something else entirely. I thought I’d share some of it:
We picked up a couple of big, plastic cups and one of those buckets you buy at the supermarket, the ones that come with a little plastic shovel. Evelyn invited Brandon to join us, and the three of us got to work on our sand castle.
Some of the other kids were on either side of us, building their own castles. One group of girls was making something that reminded me of a big octopus. Dana and the CITs walked around us, offering encouragement and what was probably taught in their training as positive reinforcement.
“I think we should have a tall castle, on top of a hill,” Brandon said.
“Yeah, with a moat around it,” I said, “and some walls out here.” I dragged my finger through the sand a couple feet away from where the moat would go.
“Why do you need walls if there’s a moat?” He said.
Somewhere in my brain, the hours I’d spent playing D&D, and the days I’d spent reading books and modules filled with diagrams and illustrations of keeps and castles joined together and shoved a torrent of words out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“A moat only holds back a small number of foot soldiers, and is really only effective during a siege. It stops a coordinated attack from more than one side, if you only have a single drawbridge opening, which is good, but you want to have a large parade ground that surrounds your castle so your archers can protect it if an enemy breaches the walls beyond that. You can build parapets on the walls, too, and have an additional layer of protection from orcs. Also, walls prevent trebuchets and catapults and siege towers from easily getting close to the castle, itself. See, the inside of a castle can only ho –”
“Okay okay okay,” he said, impatiently, “I don’t need a whole stupid history lesson.”
I felt my face get hot, and I shot a glance at Evelyn. She either hadn’t heard us or wasn’t paying attention, as she built up a small mound of sand in front of her.
“Sorry,” I said, quietly.
Without looking at us, she said, “Walls look cool, Brandon. Let’s put walls around it.”
That’s from the first draft I cranked out today, so it’s still raw and will likely get rewritten, or maybe even cut entirely. But right now, shortly after I finished writing it, I like it and the memories it stirs up.
I don’t know what’s going to happen with this thing, and I won’t know until it’s finished. But no matter what I end up doing with it, I have learned so much about myself as a writer and artist in the last few weeks that I’ve been writing it. I’ve developed confidence that I didn’t have before, and I feel like I have found my way back to the art, which is something I realized I’d been missing more than I knew. I’m trying so hard to get an audition for the next season of Stranger Things, and I haven’t been able to do it, even though there’s a character that I could play. As recently as a few weeks ago, I would be struggling every single day with the depression and frustration that sort of thing brings into my life, but instead of spending all this time feeling hopeless and adrift, I’m happy and inspired, artistically fulfilled, and feeling productive (where I had been feeling totally useless for a long, long time).
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Love this…stirs up memories for me too. I went to a small Lutheran grade school and when you had a crush on someone, EVERYONE knew about it.
His story could be good but it needs betrayal. After all, what is horror if not betrayal? So there should be somebody close to the main character who will lower the drawbridge over the moat. And let in all his enemies. Somebody close to the protagonist, who when offered riches, rolls over like a selfish Lassie and is full fledge psychopath. It’s gotta be someone close, who we ( the audience) screams NOOOOO! The audience must feel the horror that the reader feels during Dostoyevsky “Crime and Punishment” – A true horror novel!
I’m so glad you’re in a better place, brain and creativity-wise. 🙂
Good stuff! Love the shout out to “Axis Bold as Love” too, fantastic album!
That’s some quality work – and it’s great that the act of writing is itself enriching your life, not just building towards a finished product that you hope will do the job. All the best work that comes from somewhere deep inside yourself does that. I’m constitutionally incapable of using the word ‘journey’ in any context that doesn’t involve public transport or Steve Perry… but if you have to take a trip, it’s always better to enjoy the ride if you can.
What castle doesn’t have a wall? But I’m a bit simple in my arguments.
As someone who is also trying to get back into writing mode, I am super excited for you. That’s a great scene. Thank you for sharing!
Great news, Wil! Remember, not only is Depression a dick; he’s a liar! You can make things. Things that only you made. Things that touch other people. Things you can make better when you aren’t happy with them.
Because of your creativity, there’s something in our world today that wasn’t there a month ago. You made that. Depression doesn’t make things. He lies and he tries to ruin things. Fortunately, Depression isn’t jut a liar; he’s a loser. If you don’t believe his lies, he can’t win. Maybe this new story of yours is a little tiny winner, or maybe it’s a big winner, but it’s a winner. Listen to its voice; it’s telling Depression to fuck off and get out of your head.
It is exciting & tedious too to write. Today is a great day!
Love that you are writing and sharing the process. The only thing that I would change so far in the story would be to have Brandon be oblivious to the castle/moat building speech. I would have Brandon eventually express a “what, I wasn’t listening” and continue on building without looking up. Sometimes being not heard, especially by a friend can be far more devastating then irritation.
My heart is heavy at this moment because of well life but somehow there is such a hopefulness in this post that is intoxicating. As always you seem to have the emotions that I need to hear in certain moments for some reason.
You touch people’s lives.
My childhood had too many of these types of moments and I learned to be quiet and not speak my thoughts—not a good thing, really. Your writing brought back memories and was very expressive. I love the way you write!
So glad to hear you are enjoying the writing and the process and are finding yourself in a so much more positive place, Wil.
Happy for you and excited to see what you come up with.
If you can’t get a role on Stranger Things, could you get hired to write at least one episode? I know screenwriting is a totally different thing than prose, but your blog posts that are stories of your youth are some of your best–you’re good at evoking the past–and you write clever dialogue.
Agreed – or writing an episode for the new Star Trek series on CBS!
I keep forgetting you’re a few years younger than me. Every time I see a reference that reminds me, it throws me for a few moments.
Great to see you getting some writing done. Sounds like this will be a Novella, and that’s pretty cool. Looking forward to see how the story turns out. I hope you’ve got some great beta readers.
It is interesting, isn’t it? How, no matter what you do in the time between writing stints, you feel like you’ve been totally useless?
I love this Wil and I hope we get to read the entire thing when it is completed. Keep creating and keep fighting the good fight against those demons of despair.
Just here to say, if you were to publish this in some form I’d want to read it or even better, listen to it, so maybe as a pay what you want thing (with minimum) on bandcamp?
Good to hear!
As both a writer and someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I know how hard it is to share your fresh work with people. I appreciate your bravery and willingness to put yourself out there. Can’t wait to read the rest.
/Please/ keep writing; I’m looking forward to reading the finished work.
“but instead of spending all this time feeling hopeless and adrift, I’m happy and inspired, artistically fulfilled, and feeling productive (where I had been feeling totally useless for a long, long time).”
I totally get where you’re coming from. Today was one of those happy writing days for me, too. Keep it going!
We called those plastic buckets with shovels “pails” back then. I used the word “pail” recently and my four-year-old asked what that meant. sigh
Love the writing. Fantastic that it is doing things inside you and through you. Wonder how many people you’ll eventually touch when all those words come together in one place and everyone can read them?
I know you love to act, but I have always thought that writing is your true calling. The way you have with words, the way you tell a story is unlike anything I’ve read.
I don’t really care if I ever see you in another TV show or movie again. But if I couldn’t read any more of your writing? That would bother me. A lot.
I wish I could somehow let the writers and casting crew of Stranger Things know how awesome it would be to have you on the show. I think all of us here would agree the show’s cool factor would go through the roof if you were there. If only we could do something…….
Keep it up! I’m ready, willing and able to read the whole thing as soon as it’s available. I loved Stranger Things, too. I know exactly what you mean about how engaging in something artistic can lift you out of a period of depression and self-doubt. I sometimes lose my way, and as soon as I return to writing or drawing, I can feel myself lifted up and away from the things that have been dragging me down. Enjoy it. I look forward to reading the finished product–it’s looking good!
That bit is actually really interesting! I especially liked the part where you explained the importance of moats and walls. I think that getting into art is a great way to lift your spirits a bit and channel your feelings into something beautiful.
I am really looking forward to reading more of your stories, Wil!
Your writing has always been great! I can’t wait to get ahold of something new from you!
So now I am looking forward for your book of short stories! I have become inspired also by your writings and the reboot you have done. I have also started writing my stories down. Short stories quickly become novellas sometimes. Thanks Wil!
It is funny how you go back to that certain moment in your life and it is so clear in your mind like it was yesterday instead of so many years ago.
This is good. Would love to read more.