drilling with the laws of robotics

So I saw this on Cory Doctorow’s Tumblr right as I was getting ready for bed last night.

And all I could think of was a Marine drill sergeant training these robots … so this happened. It may help to hear it in Lee Ermey’s voice from Full Metal Jacket.

I DON’T KNOW BUT I BEEN TOLD/
THE LAWS OF ROBOTICS ARE REALLY OLD
GIMMIE SOME!
(gimmie some!)
FIRST LAW!
(first law!)
ROBOT MAY
(robot may)
NOT HARM!
(not harm)
A HUMAN BEING
(a human being)
LIKE ME OR YOU
(me or you)
OR THROUGH INACTION
(through inaction)
LET HARM THROUGH
(harm through!)

MY MAMA TOLD ME THAT SHE ONCE SAW/
A ROBOT FOLLOW THE SECOND LAW

NOW GIMMIE SOME
(gimmie some)
SECOND LAW
(second law)
UNLESS IT BREAKS
(unless it breaks)
THE FIRST LAW
(first law)

THE THIRD LAW SAYS TO PROTECT YOURSELF/
BUT FOLLOW THE FIRST/
AND THE SECOND AS WELL

GIMMIE SOME!
(gimmie some)
THIRD LAW
(third law)
PROTECT YOURSELF
(protect yourself)
WITHIN THE LAWS
(within the laws)

I LIVE IN A BICAMERAL STATE/
BUT THE LAWS OF ROBOTICS ARE REALLY GREAT!

&etc.

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16 thoughts on “drilling with the laws of robotics”

  6. This is great! But did you miss out the part that says what the second law is? (I know what it is… I just wondered if it was supposed to be in the song or not.)

  8. ISAAC’S LAWS, COUNT ONE, TWO, THREE
    (Isaac’s laws, count one, two, three)
    ROBOTS SAFE FOR HUMANITY
    (Robots safe for humanity)
    HERE’S ANOTHER VERSION OF
    (Here’s another version of)
    THE LAWS OF ROBOTICS BY ASIMOV
    (The Laws of Robotics by Asimov)

    FIRST LAW
    (First Law)
    NO HARM
    (No harm)

    ROBOT CANNOT INJURE YOU,
    (Robot cannot injure you,)
    CANNOT LET HARM COME TO YOU.
    (cannot let harm come to you.)

    SECOND LAW
    (Second Law)
    MUST OBEY
    (Must obey)

    ROBOT MUST OBEY YOUR WORDS
    (Robot must obey your words)
    UNLESS THAT WOULD BREAK LAW THE FIRST
    (unless that would break Law the First)

    THIRD LAW
    (Third Law)
    SELF-PROTECT
    (Self-Protect)

    BECAUSE IT COST A LOT TO MAKE
    (Because it cost a lot to make)
    ROBOT MUST TRY NOT TO BREAK
    (Robot must try not to break)
    EXCEPT WHEN TOLD OR TO SAVE YOU
    (except when told or to save you)
    IT STILL CAN’T BREAK LAWS ONE OR TWO
    (It still can’t break Laws One or Two)

    THAT’S ALL
    (That’s all)
    END-OF-FILE
    (End-of-File)

    NOW YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF
    (Now you know the meaning of)
    THE LAWS OF ROBOTICS BY ASIMOV
    (The Laws of Robotics by Asimov)

    1. You were, at some point, a shit to me or someone I like and respect. Also, a quick glance at your page reveals that you post homophobic, obnoxious, offensive garbage.

  11. OK, not to be too nerdy, but those couldn’t be robots, because they are out of step, and at the very least, even basic (or would that be BASIC ) training robots would be in step… (ex-military nerd…)

  13. I’m afraid to tell you I read that whole thing not as F. Lee Ermey but as Bill Murray in Stripes.

    What kind of training?
    RRRRRRROBOT TRAINING SIR!

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