34 thoughts on “13 things people don’t realize you do because of your anxiety.”

1. Um. Ok. So normal people don’t do all of these things? I do a lot of them and had no idea they were based in anxiety. I thought that’s just how I operate. Great. Now I’m going to be anxious about my anxious behaviors that I didn’t even realize were caused by anxiety. What is this life?

   1. I havent had friends since 1991

   2. i was just going to post that very same reply. i am somewhat relieved, i’m not the only one ^^.

2. I do a lot of these! (The amount of rehearsing I did for talking to you, Felicia Day, and John Barrowman at Planet Comicon, you’d have thought I was auditioning for a movie.)

   I was thinking recently about how people will say “Take a chance! Ask! The worst they can say is no.” But for me, the worst isn’t someone saying no, it’s someone saying yes but then I fuck the thing up and everybody hates me for being such a screwup. ANXIETY IS FUN!

   1. Yes, that exact thing. “No” is most definitely not the worst thing that can happen. Sometimes, “No” would be a relief. I think this comes under “Letting opportunities pass”, per the video. Which I do all the time.

3. Did I miss the complete and utter life altering nuclear meltdown?

4. Thank you. I do some of these things but also noticed that my SO does a lot of them too. Woo Hoo we are on the Anxiety Boat together.

5. This is an excellent introduction to anxiety issues we all deal with in varying degrees of intensity. My daughter has severe OCD so her behaviors follow the more extreme examples.

6. Thank you, Wil, thank you.

7. Holy crap, I hit a lot of those myself. I was recently diagnosed with Depression/Anxiety. It sucks, but explains so many of my problems. Meds have helped, but they don’t always help, as I’m sure you know. Thanks for the link. I’m about to hit an anxious time with worries about my job, and everything else going down.

8. My anxiety is very paralyzing especially now trying to find a job and spending so much time alone at home

   1. Those are two things that will kick my anxiety up A LOT. Sorry you’re having to deal with this.

9. Wow I have done all of those things for much of my life, some more than others. There were a few years when I barely left the house or used a phone. I still do most of them, but not all at once, or as often. I am much better, but this reminds me how far I have come, and how far I can fall. Thank you for sharing that.

10. I’ve had anxiety in the past that made me do about 2/3 of these things constantly, but am relieved to say that I only do 2-3 of these regularly now. And a few others every once in a while. But that was a good list, it was all familiar. Thanks for sharing it.

11. Out of the 13 I’ve done 8 of them – namely #4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13.

    When I was a teen back in the 80s my anxieties were so bad that I’d be up all night with panic attacks, I went to the ER many times because I thought I was having trouble swallowing and did a lot of hyperventilating Back then if you went to the hospital they didn’t know what to do. It’s getting better nowadays, but the hospitals where I live usually leave you in the waiting room until you “get over it” on your own.

    The one thing that got me through was writing. Reading, writing and spelling were the only school subjects I got good grades in, and since there wasn’t any internet back then I always had a pen and paper nearby. Actually, I still do that now along with my tablet and laptop.
    I haven’t had anything published yet, mainly because most of the past 22 years has been spent raising my two Developmentally Delayed daughters and didn’t have much time to write.

    I have a fairly good handle on my anxieties now – with the help of Paxil that I started taking in 1996. So long as I remember to take it – I have a calendar to keep track of the time when I take it, since my memory sucks – I can keep most of the phobias that fuel my anxieties under control . Learning deep breathing and self-hypnosis helped a lot too – close my eyes and breathe into my stomach until I stop hyperventilating. These days doing jigsaw puzzles on my computer also help me calm my nerves.

    Having lived about 34 years dealing with anxiety I like to give moral support to people who are having a hard time with their anxieties. I am also certified in Suicide Alertness because no matter how bad my anxieties got I never considered suicide. They can believe me when I say that “Life gets better”.

12. I thought I was doing SO WELL! Until I got close to the end of the list. Oh, well.

    Fortunately, most of my anxiety is in the form of infrequent attacks, which most folks seem to understand better.

    Of course, it could be re-enforced by my choice of beverage: Arrogant Bastard Ale, “You’re not Worthy” Hey, so long as my money is worthy, so is the rest of me!

13. Thank you for posting this! I have suffered from depression and anxiety pretty much my whole life. I have a very small group of friends (3) that I can explain my feelings to and they get me, but videos like this are good for family members who don’t understand why I disappear at family events for a while or why I turn my phone on mute (I do the opposite of keep my phone near me. I can’t stand having it with me, I feel pressured to communicate ALL THE TIME). I didn’t know about the 30 Days of Brave Challenge and I think I will try it. It’s nice to know we’re not alone and that we’re not broken. We’re ok, everything is going to be ok. One of your blog posts about seeking help for depression (about how if you had a cold, you’d take meds and depression is the same idea) was what helped me seek help to begin with. I’ve been getting help via my general practitioner and a therapist for just over a year now and while I still have lots of anxiety and depression stuff, they have helped me figure out how to deal with it better. Thank you for being brave and sharing, it really does help people. 🙂

14. I think one of the hardest things to do when you’re anxious is make friends. I’ve moved jobs twice in a year (from a place I’d worked for a decade), and hate introducing myself to people I work with or starting professional relationships with them from scratch. I don’t even discuss the weather with anyone. Most non-sufferers probably think me just rude and abrupt.

    I got quietly freaked out this weekend because a store assistant recognised me. I tend to see her every week when I collect my shopping, but it was still freaky.

    I’ve never willingly gone to a party in my life. Socialising and holding conversations is something other people do.

15. All the relates. All of them.

16. Sure.

    But what about High Anxiety?

    1. But seriously, my philosophy for fear, anxiety, and depression is just to do your best to show up and get your ass kicked. I’ve chickened out or walked away many times (and will again, no doubt), but also I just show up and accept humiliation. But I’ve found it gets less humiliating each time. I’ve forced myself into shitty, brutal, and embarrassing situations all my life and I take pride in building coping skills and strengths from weakness and fear.

       I don’t think one ever reaches a plateau or crosses into the Promised Land. You just have to keep going and adapt to failure and pain. No one watches over us. There are no guardian angels, no fate, no luck. No afterlife, no celestial daddy or mommy. We don’t matter. We can be swept away and there are no guarantees. Is that horrible, depressing? Maybe. But that’s our lot. Liking it or disliking it won’t change it.

       Go out, get hurt, take your lumps. You’ll find you have surprising strength and on the other end of your pain and fear, you can take pride in your achievement.

       And that’s one to grow on!

17. Thank you! Great video!
    As for high anxiety, I’m no expert on how it is with others. For me, the listed issues can be measure exponentially, like earthquake magnitudes. Fortunately, thanks in large part to people like Wil Wheaton being open about their anxiety, people I encounter aren’t as critical when I have to cancel, leave and such. In the 1980s, people were unkind even after I explained my condition.
    The list, I believe, will help people understand better.

18. I’ve never had panic attacks or anything that others who HAVE been diagnosed would recognize as anxiety, but there are quite a few of these that seem appropriate for me, as well as for my husband. I’ve only ever known that I suffer from occasional Depression, which is thankfully “mild” (in comparison to that of others), although possibly being looooooooong bouts.

    I’m an extrovert, though, which, I think, is why I struggle over the “saying yes” issues that I deal with. I LOVE social interaction! I HATE having to get there! Can’t you just plan your party or seminar or whatever your group event is – at MY house? I mean, it’s only a 1-BR apartment that I share with husband and two cats; I’ll TOTALLY host your gathering! It’ll work!

    Yeah… maybe I do have some anxiety. I might oughta look into that.

    1. People often think I’m an introvert because I go to parties and have a hard time talking to people at first or because I cancel plans to stay home. I have to explain that I’m actually an extrovert with social anxiety. Because I need social interaction to recharge, my fear that I’ll fuck up a social interaction really gets at me, so I’ll get terribly shy and avoid people.

       1. My issue with social anxiety takes a different form. I get sooo nervous that I talk my head off, and people avoid me like the plague! Sometimes I drink too much too. I just keep gulping it down not even realizing what I’m doing.

          1. Oh yeah, I talk a lot, too. (That’s kind of a combo of anxiety and ADHD for me.) And then I fret over annoying and/or boring people with my babbling. (Although sometimes I feel good enough about myself to think, “Fuck ’em if they don’t like how I talk. I don’t talk too much, other people talk too little.”) (Also, sometimes I manage to stop being socially anxious and shy and I’ll talk to complete strangers at coffee shops or the supermarket, just because fuck you, anxiety, you’re not always the boss of me.)

             I don’t drink anymore, but I realized recently that when I did drink, it was to override my social anxiety.

             high five

19. Several of these hit me straight on. I think I have a bit of extra thinking to do about a few of these – with the assistance of my lovely brain meds. Having anxiety and depression problems plus being a classic introvert can make life…complicated. At least my cat likes my spending time at home aside from the time I am at work. She objects to my going to work, of course, but hey, we both gotta eat.

20. Thank you for this, I realize I am not alone in this kind of behaviour. To know that someone I admire also goes through all these things is actually reassuring.

21. rehearse for phone calls? I rehearse for every interaction, and yep it is exhausting. I’ve found that kava can help quite a bit but its taste leaves a lot to be desired. 🙂

22. There is a “positive” side to Trump as #45: it validates our feelings of GAD. There was something awful to worry about happening all this time!

23. i had a panic attack in therapy last week. it isn’t the first time that has happened, but it was the first time that i actually talked about it while it was happening. it was pretty intense and scary but i was grateful that i wasn’t alone and i was kind of talked through it.

24. Thank YOU.

25. Damn. I ticked off a lot more of them than I thought I would.

26. Thanks for sharing Wil. It’s definitely strange, but it is reassuring to know that there are others out there who can suffer in the same way.

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