I wrote this last night.
30 years ago today, John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness was released.
That means that 30 years ago tonight, I was at the AMC 10 in Burbank.
Today, that part of Burbank is filled with businesses and chain restaurants and street performers. 30 years ago, there was the theater, a parking garage, a Fuddrucker’s (that’s still there and still terrible), and not much else. It was quiet when you went outside, especially after a movie that started late.
We went to a show that started around 10 or 1030pm. The air was cool, and it was so foggy, we couldn’t see the streetlights, just their glow. I went with three of my friends, who were all older than me and could drive. We listened to Van Halen in the car.
I remember that the movie wasn’t what I wanted it to be, and I was disappointed. It wasn’t scary, and the effects seemed cheesy. I wanted it to scare me the way The Thing scared me, and it didn’t do that. But it was foggy as hell that night, which is something that doesn’t happen in Burbank very often, and that made the post-showing silence especially eerie, and worth the drive. The walk to the car was more satisfying to me than the movie was.
On the way home, we went on streets instead of the freeway, because it would take us longer to get home that way, and that’s what being out at night with your friends is about when you’re fifteen. We listened to Some Great Reward on the way home. I lamented that the girl I had a huge crush on would never know I existed, and my friend, Ryan, told me (as he always did) to go talk to her or shut up about it forever. We drove through Glendale and Montrose, and on the way up the hill to my house, we drove out of the fog. I remember looking out toward Los Angeles when we got out of the car, and seeing that blanket of fog, broken by the Verdugo mountains, glowing orange from the streetlights beneath it. I remember wishing the movie had lived up to the atmosphere. I remember wishing that I’d asked Hailey to go with me to the movie.
Tonight, it’s hot and dry outside, and I am in the home I own, that I bought with my wife. I drove my Mini today and listened to Depeche Mode. My wife is asleep in our bed. Our son is asleep in our guest room. I feel like that teenager I was thirty years ago isn’t even a real person, just a foggy memory that’s painful to visit more often than it is not.
A lot of my teens blurs together, because I worked all the time and I was so unhappy, I spent my twenties trying to forget them. But this is one of the things that I can remember pretty clearly, because of the fog.
The fog. In literary symbolism, we use fog to represent mystery, the inability to see clearly, and uncertainty. It’s interesting to me that the fog is the only reason I can remember anything about that night, thirty years ago, and that tonight I can recall so much of it so clearly.
Time is weird. Memory is weird. Life is strange.
For some reason when I read the title I had “Sound of Silence” going in my head & the words really worked with the music.
Wil writing about the past is my favorite Wil writing. You do such an amazing job capturing the feel of growing up. Not to be glib, but in a lot of ways it reminds me of Stand By Me or, if you prefer, the Goonies, that combination of wonder, insecurity, adventure and angst that defines adolescence.
This. This, this, this and this.
Current Wil writing about former Wil and/or the culture and/or pop culture of days gone by is some of my favorite writing to be had. Anywhere.
I’m reading this while working on the information desk at my library and trying not to tear up. Beautifully written, Wil. And I’m very happy the life you had then, however hard it was, led to the life you have now.
Wow! Amazing how our memories work and how we change through them. This was some great writing!
Wow, for a moment I was there on that hill with you. Thanks for sharing that. It also brought back memories of two times I was in fog that obliterated the world around me. Fog can be scary, or comforting. Depends on where you are.
What happened with Hailey ?
We never went on a single date. Looking back on myself at that age, I think she made the right call.
I sympathize. I was a mess as a teenager as well. No wonder girls ignored me. I was much more grounded and centered when I finally met my wife. I would have sucked if I met her early in my life and totally ruined it
What a wonderful memory. Love reading your writings of your memories.
I’m always delighted to hear folks so vividly recall memories from their teenage youth. My brain chemistry went off-track after puberty, and I only have conscious access to the not-so-good memories, leading to lots of business for the therapists who helped me dilute them.
I know I had lots of great times during high school, but I can’t recall them. Several times during the ensuing decades, high school friends and acquaintances have contacted me in the hope of remembering those good times (insert “Glory Days” in the background), only to be hurt when it became clear I didn’t share their memories. Sometimes I didn’t even recall having known the person, perhaps the cruelest cut of all.
Once in a while someone else’s teenage story will tickle something vague in the back of my mind. On rare occasions, a “lost” memory will resurface nearly intact. Didn’t happen this time, unfortunately.
It is writing like Wil’s, visceral yet nuanced, that has the best odds of dredging something up, in addition to being interesting reading in their own right.
More, please!
Edit goof. Last phrase above should be: “in addition to his stories being interesting reading in their own right”
Wil, you always have such a way with words. Don’t ever stop writing!
I love that you are willing to show us the inside of you, wil. Especially when your writing is so good! I would say that we, in memory, often latch onto odd and/or negative things. The fact that the movie was disappointing and you hadn’t talked to Hailey combined with the added rarity of the fog is probably why you can remember it so clearly. Just remember to work extra hard at remembering the good things(though there may be very few)as well. Thanks again for sharing!
“Hello… Hello… I’ve got a message for you… and you’re not going to like it. Pray for death!” That part of Prince of Darkness still unsettles me.
I find as I get older that certain events, moments really, stand out to me in stark relief. Shopping for school clothes at that weird discount warehouse, my best friend and I putting on tons of ridiculous makeup and lip syncing to Wang Chung, the moment on Christmas Eve when my whole extended family gathered around my grandparent’s Christmas tree with the angels my grandfather made flying in a halo at the top. So much of our lives go by in a blur that whenever a memory holds clarity like that, I try to think about why it stuck out. The people I was with, the feelings I was experiencing. Sometimes there’s a clear reason I remember, and sometimes it’s just some random moment with no signficance at all. I am fortunate that my mental health struggles didn’t start until my adult years so most childhood memories are good, but I find the brain fascinating in what it chooses to hold on to, so clearly, so many years later.
As always, thanks for sharing your thoughts and your writing. You always make me think, which is my criteria for an excellent person!
Fun Fakt, I’m on an education seminar right now. I planned to meet my sister after that was done and was much to early at our meeting spot. So I strolled through the closing shops in the city of Freiburg. I was the first time in years in a Saturn Shop. I saw the DVD Prince of Darkness and was stunned that this movie I never heard of was from Carpenter. And now here I am and read about it from you.
Perhaps your subconscious has been asking ‘what really scary film shall we watch a week from today whilst we await the doorbell?” and has provided the answer.
And who doesn’t love Adrienne Barbeau?
(For me it’s Phantom of the Paradise and Rocky Horror. But I’m old.)
( -er than you.)
Goddammit it pisses me off how well you write, and can perfectly capture that feeling of….. bittersweet memory. I felt like this was my memory, okay?
This was a great story and I like the fact it is about you, and not a fictional character. I could feel the eeriness about the fog, I love fog because you never know what you might walk up on in the fog.
I really enjoy your all of your writing (as well as the rest of your career). I hope you keep it up forever (or until you get too old to care). Thanks, Wil!
Beautifully written Wil, I loved this.
Son, I think you had what Wordsworth calls a spot of time. And here’s your “spontaneous overflow of emotion” “recollected” but I’m not sure “in tranquility.” I’m teaching the Romantics now and what you wrote so seems to capture what Mr. W. was writing about. What do you think?
Thanks for that. It’s how I feel much of the time as I get older.
My wife, “I feel like you would like this randomness:”
Me after reading: “Yeah man. This is my jam.”
Thom at poetguru.wordpress.com
It’s amazing how some of the memories from when we were teenagers are just… there. There are many I’d like to forget and a few I’d like to remember, but it’s usually the bad ones that are most prevalent. I also used to listen to Depeche Mode when I was that age. I’ve since stopped listening to them, as their stuff was a bit too depressing for me. I do still listen to Erasure, though. They have a bit more bounce (it’s happy music!). Some Great Reward was an awesome album, though. I may pull it out and give it a listen after reading this.
Of course, John Carpenter had some thoughts about the fog too…
Fog is a kind of magic – it encloses and intensifies vision, and amplifies ambient sound.
I like the image you created of that night and how the fog made it more memorable .
And then there’s Maude.
Thanks for sharing.
😊
Thank you for sharing Wil. Poetic and thought provoking as usual. I think teen years are meant to be ment to be remembered with a mix of reminiscent pain and fondness. It’s had we grow. You grew more than most. I hope that doesn’t sound cliche.
Very evocative. It took me back to a foggy mid-western night, in a city park we weren’t supposed to be in after hours, walking and talking with friends…one of whom was the girl I had my hopeless and unrequited crush on. I’ve read very few authors who can conjure scenes so vivid and immediate with such clarity. Thanks for this.
I can forgive John Carpenter for Prince of Darkness because he also gave us Big Trouble in Little China which is timeless and PERFECT IN EVERY WAY!…….and those other movies he did too.
Prince of Darkness… 30 years. Wow.
Unlike you, Wil, that movie scared the bejeezus out of me. I remember huddling under my coat for most of it. I had a kind of church-y upbringing and as a result had no save vs supernatural/religious horror.
Walked out into a brightly lit mall and ran into a friend who was starting a band and suggested I try out, so I did, and I’ve been working professionally in the creative arts ever since. A planned-for-me CPA career evaporated like… fog. Prince of Darkness is wholly a part of one of my life’s biggest pivot points; so do not trust me when I say that it totally holds up today (it doesn’t) (but it does for me)
Two of my friends….their first date was a movie date to see The Princess Bride. However, when they got to the theater, they couldn’t exactly remember the title and ended up seeing Prince of Darkness…they’ve been married over 20 years now so I guess it proved to be a bonding experience!
Years ago some older friends of my parents mistook “Quest for Fire” for “Chariots of Fire” at the theater. They were really confused to say the least, as they expected to see an inspirational film about British runners in the 1924 Olympics. 🙂
When a memory becomes crystal clear, briefly, for a few nostalgic moments it can feel like you are there again. Not as some distant place you once inhabited, but really there smelling the smells, feeling the air and experiencing the same pangs of fear, joy or sadness you did then. It’s usually the strong emotions that are the most vivid. The mind is a strange thing. I enjoy reading your thoughts… keep them coming! 🙂
I love this so much, I can’t even…
Need to give “PoD” another run. I’ve come to think it’s one of the freakiest flicks from that era. Just…go watch it again. Get the disk. Pop it in. Watch. Bonus pointaroonies if you do it after midnight. Tne slow-burn to craziness.The chick with the white eyeballs and bloody face. The whatever-it-is coming through the gate in the dream. The mirror…and what’s coming through the mirror…
John Carpenter must have been a Tolkien fan:
Green goop in the cylinder = Sauron’s disembodied spirit
The mirror… = Door of Night
what’s coming through the mirror… = Morgoth, exiled into the Void
These are the kinds of posts that brought me to this blog oh so many years ago.
I remember that theater. Used to hit that one up quite a bit in summer of 98 when I was living in Valley Village.
I picked up Prince of Darkness on BluRay not too long ago. I agree, not scary. Creepy and interesting. But I think my “like” of that movie is more of nostalgia, from a time when I would easily rent 4-10 movies a week, especially a lot of horror.