I wrote this on my dumb Facebook yesterday:.
At least three blogs linked to my blog about the minifigs today. All three of the ones I saw essentially quoted the entire thing, and then added commentary that misrepresented what I said, and what my intention was when I said it.
Another blog, home to one of the most pathetic, sad, empty, angry, hateful failures in the universe also linked to it.
The resulting flood of toxic and cruel and hateful people into my life has been appalling and revealing.
Unsurprisingly, when a shitty person is shitty, they attract other shitty persons to their blog. When a blog that presents itself as news writes shitty posts that are intended to make shitty people feel better about themselves by attacking and tearing down other people, those sites attract shitty people.
And now a lot of those shitty people are all up in my business. I can ignore a lot of it, and I block and move on, but it’s frustrating and disheartening to see so much hate and cruelty projected from people who I don’t know and wasn’t writing for in the first place. It’s gross and it makes me feel … well, the only word I can come up with is “icky” and that’s not the best word. I just feel like the stink of toxic, terrible people is around me today, and it makes me grateful for the millions of you out there who are not that, who choose to spend a little bit of time in the same virtual space as me.
Dickheads are gonna be dickheads, and I have to be better at just ignoring that (Hardwick is the Zen master of this, if you’re looking for inspiration). But those news blogs that reprinted exactly what I wrote, but then recontextualized it (and me) to create a false narrative … that’s frustrating to me. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough in my post, so I left it open to interpretation. Maybe I didn’t make it clear that I was answering a question, sharing a raw and unfiltered emotional response to something, and concluding that I was disappointed. I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t ranting, I wasn’t furious, I didn’t call for a boycott. I just said I was disappointed, and I explained why. I thought I was clear, and I thought it was dispassionate (as much as it can be when it’s talking about something that has been a bit of a raw nerve for thirty years). So if I wasn’t extremely clear, I guess that’s on me.
But I can’t help but feel like these blogs deliberately used sensational language to create a narrative that justified their writers essentially quoting everything I wrote, adding no new information or informed analysis, and collecting the ad revenue. That’s frustrating to me, because they get to move on to their next bit of sensationalized bullshit, while I spend days dealing with the trolling and associated garbage from people who will read their sensationalized headlines, accept their sensationalized framing, and then come after me on social media or in the comments of my own blog. It’s ironic that I had to block some shitty people here, because one of the founding principles of my blog, over ten years ago, was for me to have a place to speak for myself, after a lifetime of being spoken for by publicists. It was to give me a place to set the record straight, after years of being talked about by people who knew little to nothing about me. And here we are, a decade later, and I’m doing the same thing I was back then: speaking up to say, “that’s not what I said, and you know it’s not what I said.” There’s an argument to be made for just ignoring it and moving on, and there’s an argument to be made that I’m doing this all over again ten years later because I’m screwed up, emotionally. Maybe that’s the case. I have to live with this brain that lies to me all the time, and I’m coming off of 24 hours of shitty people telling me to kill myself, so maybe I’m not the most objective observer in this regard.
But all of that is prelude and context to what I hope will be the real takeaway from this stupid thing: I am genuinely grateful that I interact with kind and good people in real life and online almost every day. I am grateful that we work with intention to create a positive and uplifting place when we are together, and I am grateful that, even when I was a shitty teenager, I never would have wanted to be around cruel, unhappy, nihilists who have little to no empathy in their lives, and use anger to give their lives meaning.
Thanks for listening.
Note: Because I’m dealing with trolls and dickweeds right now, I’ve set comments to go into moderation, unless you have a previously-approved comment. Thanks for understanding.
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You were very clear, Wil! I’m sorry the shitheads are focusing on you.
We are always learning about ourselves everyday…and drowning out the noise is a hard one to learn…keep at it, Wil. And keep your chin up, and creativity alive.
💖
How they act is a reflection of their issues, not on yours. You rock. Ignore the soulless douchbags that have to douchebag….
Couldn’t have said it better! Although ignoring sadly isn’t always that easy…
It was perfectly clear, Wil. I’m sorry that your – seriously – perfectly clear article was stolen, twisted, and used. Them fuckers need Wheaton’s Law.
I’ve come to the conclusion that there are so many people unhappy with their own life that they want to take it out on someone else. Actually, they want to take their anger and jealousy out on anyone else who appears to have what they themselves don’t. It sucks because the Internet brings us all closer, but it also allows the angry people to be closer.
I’m so sorry that once again, people are literal assholes with seemingly nothing else to do than be mean. If it helps, you are not alone, and I just want to offer my support. The world is full of cruel people, but it’s also full of those like us, who just want to love and support each other. Please take a technology break, and know that people all over this world love you. Peace and love to you in the new year. ❤✌🖖
“Maybe I wasn’t clear enough in my post, so I left it open to interpretation”. Nope, they were just being dick’s, and no one has to be a dick, but unfortunately, many are.
Wil, you are a kind, nice person and that’s a wonderful thing to be in this world nowadays.
Thanks for writing this. You speak for a lot of people on the internet.
A great many of us took what you wrote for exactly what it was. It doesn’t mitigate the cockwombles, but we are still here. You speak about things I experience but can’t or won’t speak about and I know I’m not alone in that; I’m just sorry that the effort, coupled with your fame, makes you a target for hate. 🙁
Wil, I haven’t commented on your blog before, although I follow it fairly regularly, because I didn’t think I had anything to contribute. I do have to say though, that I was personally offended by that minifig- you were spot on when you said it was an insult to all of us that looked up to Wesley as a role model (as I did, and do) and I thought your blog post was articulate, well reasoned and meaningful. I was similarly enraged when Google popped those ‘articles’ you’re talking about on my news feed (ironically, because I’ve ‘expressed interest’ in you by visiting your blog, presumably!). I didn’t need to read any further than the headlines to know they were shitty articles written by shitty people, so the best I could do was refuse to click and give them my attention or any revenue.
That is a very long way of saying- thank you. You inspired me as a kid and you have continued to show me how to deal with issues and reverses with grace and clarity, without just backing down.
Wow. I thought your response was well-written and clear, and I think you can be proud of it. It wouldn’t matter what words you used or how you discussed it, the people that want to turn it into something it’s not will continue to do so. Your blog means a lot to other good people who struggle with life every day. Write for them and write for yourself and don’t let the turkeys get you down.
You’re my hero.
Wil… the sheer amount of trolling and negative people makes me sad but I have to realize that my life is always half full. How shitty are their lives that they have to spew such toxic and horrible verbage. I have my dogs, you have yours. I have an amazing husband, you have Anne. I have a creative and fulfilling life despite the sometimes crippling anxiety that manifests itself at random and I know you deal with your own issues.
You are a wonderful, thoughtful, talented and amazing man and you are bravely sharing your thoughts and feelings publicly. It’s not an easy thing to do and you do it better and more genuinely honest than most.
I enjoy what you write and look forward to many more genuine and honest prose from you in 2018.
Those obnoxious idiots actually suggested that you kill yourself???????????? I just threw up a little in my mouth, and that’s no joke. Good grief! It amazes me when people GLEEFULLY jump at the chance to spew hatred and do their best to harm others with their words. And what is even more unbelievable are the morons who would attack and attempt to eviscerate such a good person as yourself. I’m so sorry Wil. The fact that those brainless I-will-do-anything-for-attention, poisonous assholes hurt you is infuriating. Normally I’m even tempered and fairly reasonable, but social media can be so disheartening and discouraging, and I feel protective when I read unprovoked attacks against honest open people. Wow…….. happy new year. Geez.
I gotta say I’m sorry that people are so shitty online, because they never take the time to think or care that it can and does affect people on the other side. I’d like you to know that I suck at Zombie dice (so many zeros!!) and watching It Follows was particularly eerie because it was filmed in several locations nearby. Finally, I’d like to HIGHLY recommend an audiobook, “I Must Say” by Martin Short. It was hands down the top 3 I’ve ever listened to, and I was very surprised. I sat in my car crying for 10 minutes this morning listening to his storytelling. It. Is. SO. Good. Have a great day, friend.
Part of this is selection bias. Dickheads are 10x more noticeable than decent people. If you could classify all people on the planet, probably 80%-90% are decent people. It’s just that the 10-20% dickheads stand out by being dickheads. Also, the prime goal of most websites is to get more clicks. They do that by taking any topic and saying the most horrible or ridiculous or unreasonable thing possible based on that (see anything Tesla or Elon Musk-related). Don’t assume malice here – they’re just trying to get more clicks and make money. It sucks but money is money.
Anger is addictive. It makes people feel superior, and powerful. The internet is, unfortunately, an ideal place to vent such anger, with little if any repercussions. Anger is also good for ratings, hence the popularity of Fox News. It also brings in the hits for content providers, which makes it great for sites that rely on ad revenue.
Undoubtedly, these sites misrepresented you on purpose to get the views. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this so much.
Personally, I find you to be a constant source of inspiration amd reassurance. You are primarily responsible for me finding the courage to make some major changes in my life, and I’m glad that you keep doing what you do. You’re an amazing humam being.
Short version: Your post was perfectly clear. They’re playing to the low-life crowd because it’s an easy crowd to engage and to entertain since fact isn’t really important in their collective world.
Give yourself a little treat of some sort today. You deserve it.
Ugh, this makes me mad AND sad. I LOVED Wesley, and I still do; on bad days I may stroll through old episodes of TNG that feature Wes. I thought the mini-fig was dumb – an easy punch, a no-thought contrivance. It doesn’t capture the Wesley Crusher I know and love in any way, and it certainly dissuaded me from ever purchasing the set. And all the negativity and hatred about your blog? Just makes me want to go all grade-school on them and say “I’m rubber and you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.” But that would mean interacting. And I don’t know about you, but I prefer delete/block/erase/byebye. Life is so short, and there are so many real things to get angry or upset about, I don’t know why people look to make others miserable. You and the lovely Anne (and the puppers, of course) give me many smiles. I wish there were more like you out there.
You were clear as crystal. Plagarists and trolls are not that way due to a lack of clarity on the part of those they steal from and misrepresent.
Wil,
Let me say that I think you’re a great actor, blogger, and all-around performer. I will listen to practically any audio-book if you narrate it, and bizarrely, Tabletop is one of my favorite shows.
However, let me also say that, you aren’t Wesley. You weren’t Wesley even when you were playing Wesley. You aren’t the same Wil that you were then either. For that matter you aren’t the same Wil you were yesterday, or even when I started writing this. Be you now. Let everyone else go sort out their own issues, but don’t let them get any of it on you.
I am so sorry this is happening to you.
Unfortunately all I can do is send virtual hugs all the way from Italy.
Wil, you are awesome. I love that you can put your thoughts out there and make people like me feel less alone. You care. You are a good person.
I may just be some random stranger on the Internet, who has never met you, so don’t take it from me. Go hug one of your dogs. They’ll tell you. Your brain may lie about that, but the dog won’t.
Wil,
I don’t think I’ve ever posted this comment that I’ve always meant to, but if I have, hopefully reading the story again cheers you up a bit nonetheless. Otherwise, forget I wrote this awkward preamble.
I was a Star Wars kid growing up. I was only 2 when you premiered on TNG, so my generational sync was slightly off for Star Trek too. And I never really gave it a chance because, well, Star Wars. I sorta bought into the whole “Star Trek isn’t for me” view – partially driven by some half-seen TOS episodes when I was young that soured me to it as hokey.
So I didn’t find Wil Wheaton until late in my geek-life. I knew the name (thanks, Family Guy). TBH, I can’t remember how I stumbled into your orbit. It might have been because of W00tstock (I’m a huge P&S fan) or as an audiobook narrator. Maybe it was because of your villainry on the Guild? Then I found the Burrito and Tabletop. Somewhere in there, I watched “Stand By Me” somewhere in there and loved it.
My girlfriend (now wife) was bingeing through TNG. By then, I had listened to all of your memoirs too – so I knew more about the production than I’d ever seen on a TV screen. So I gave it a try. Every time I saw Wesley, I thought, “OMG! That’s Wil Wheaton from the Internet!” And I loved TNG. Wesley was my access point for this deeply soulful show. I’m not as hot on the other Treks, but you helped me give it a shot. And when I think of Wil Wheaton, the first thing I think of is “awesome god of the interwebs.”
What I’m trying to say is that I appreciate your geeky work for your work, and I expect there’s more millenials out there that know you more as “Wil from the Internet” than anything else. So from at least one geek who your work feeds, my many thanks. You’re an awesome dude. Keep making things where there wasn’t a thing before. That’s the quote from you on my office wall (I know I’ve commented about that before).
Also… Any new Burritos coming soon? Pretty please? 😛
Wil. I watched the episode where Wesley applies to the Starfleet Academy and gets rejected the very day that I had an all-day second-round interview to a post-college job that I’d really wanted, really expected to get, and got ultimately got rejected from. It was really the first major rejection of my life. The way Wesley dealt with the disappointment was completely comforting to me and helped me keep my shit together, and I’ve remembered it my whole life. So fuck that crying minifig and the toxic assholes trolling you for disliking it.
Once again, the internet shows what a terrible place it is. 🙁
You were super clear! I’m so sorry you have to put up with so much shit.
The message you sent was perfectly clear. How they acted/act reflects their issues and their shortcomings, not yours.
The Doctor once said, “You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views.”
In this case, doing shitty things like that makes them think they are oh-so very powerful when, in reality, they are actually the very stupid.
You do you, Wil.
~Sam
Wil, your original essay was perfectly clear. Dickheads can twist anything….more importantly, other dickheads gleefully accept and play along with the fact that their fellow dickheads are lying jerks. It is ALL on them. Rest assured that the rest of us – the decent human beings, if I do say so myself – understand you, and support you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us!
Wil, you are awesome. Hope you’re feeling the love from your supporters. Happy Rusev Day!
I don’t understand the urge some people feel to be ugly on the internet… often these are people who would never behave this way face-to-face. If I have a problem with what someone says online, I try to be a good human being about it. This is probably easier for me, as I have a much lower profile than you, Wil, and make a less attractive target. Hang in there, and remember as always, that people who say ugly things without justification are probably just compensating for their own shortcomings.
Wil,
I know I don’t know you personally but I want to be clear that I am writting directly to you.
It is not you.
It is them.
Shitty people are always on the lookout for an opportunity to drink from the well of their own self loathing at the cost of someone else.
You don’t deserve to pay the cost.
With all sincerity,
Mauli
I’m sorry those people were determined to misunderstand you. I thought your response was clear and classy but it wouldn’t have mattered because they had a story they wanted to tell. I’m glad that you can still be positive about things!
I missed this whole event. I I don’t want to go look at what they did to you. I would feel dirty having my mouse click look like support for the hate blogs. I can only say hang in there. I realize it doesn’t help the bees that begin to buzz in the brain after such attacks but you have the tools , the friends and the love of family to help you rise above.
Never stop being awesome, Will. This is such a calm, well-articulated response to those jackholes and their crap. You deserve better. While there’s not a lot we strangers on the internet can do to stop the jackholes, we can be kind. And we can write and say, “You don’t deserve that crap.”
You don’t deserve that crap.
Thanks for writing.
*Wil. Stupid autocorrect. 🙂
I don’t know you other than through your work and your public persona. I am sorry that the haters got to you. I did not see your FB post so I am only commenting on what I read here and on other posts you have made here and on Tumblr. You seem like a genuine person who tries hard to do and say the right thing. You are never afraid to make clear when you don’t know something. You try to point people in the right direction to get help if they need it. All I can offer is that the haters have it wrong. I believe you are one of a few bright spots on the interwebs. Your continuing to try to make a positive difference inspires me and others to try to be better. I hope you are feeling better about things.
Oh, no, you were perfectly clear in your previous post. I said that I wouldn’t buy the set, not because you told me I shouldn’t, but because I’m a grown woman who knows how to use her dollars to support good things and not support dumb things. That set is a dumb thing, in my opinion, largely due to how the makers chose to depict Wes.
It is sad and frustrating, when people choose to profit from someone’s honesty. And knowing that we have no control over that can be cold comfort. But you do have control over your space, and what you write here. And we love you for that, and for what you’ve given to the nerd community over the years. The vultures can only scavenge. You create. You’re real, and you’re here, and we’re here with you.
Thank you for you. And depression is a dirty fucking liar.
I don’t know how an intelligent, emotionally healthy person could misunderstand or misrepresent what you stated originally. You were expressing your feelings and opinion about something that, in my opinion, directly reflected you in a negative way. I feel that those who were horrible about their reactions to your writing cannot possibly be mature or responsible enough to be left alone on the internet. I do not know what you could have done to attract such hateful criticism or attention. But I am sorry that it is weighing on your mind, heart, and time.
Hugs. You were clear. They were invasive. And I don’t know if blogs are copyright-able but if they are then you might have a way of keeping them from stealing your words and making hay with it. more hugs. …
It’s amazing how many people can’t comprehend what they read. They are a dic and you are not. Cheers and Happy New Year!
You don’t need this in your life and I’m so sorry. I get so frustrated with how many scumbuckets are on this planet, and it’s so hard to not let it eat at ya some days. I don’t have the Zen skills that a lot of folks have (and I imagine Chris Hardwick must have a super-sized helping of it; I am jealous) and I struggle to retreat and cut ties and do whatever it takes not to internalize this kind of crap.
Take some Emergency Dog time, visit your friends with babies who haven’t learned about the scum of the universe and just try to have hope that we humans can be better as a whole.
Hope can be hard.
You were super clear, and I really enjoyed reading your post on the subject. I was extremely frustrated (for you and for myself) at the bullshit “think”pieces that came out in response to your post. As you said, they quoted you directly and then concluded the opposite. Pay them no mind, and keep doing you (as they say).
Dude, DUDE! NO,:
“…there’s an argument to be made that I’m doing this all over again ten years later because I’m screwed up, emotionally.”
–whatever issues that you may have, the reason you’re back here again, trying to get people to understand what you already made perfectly clear and obvious is because — — THEY ARE! THEY ARE SCREWED UP!
You’re just fine, Wil. You are rational, and kind and get what being a dick is, and aren’t one. That makes the rest of us who are not dicks happy with you and those who Are dicks annoyed that you are more evolved. They don’t understand it, and may not think that they want it — but it does bug them when they see other people who are more evolved, grown up, and handling their emotions rather than lashing out at other people. Some tiny part of their tiny brains gets that they are the lesser humans and so they need to try to beat someone else down to feel better about their neanderthal selves. That’s where this comes from.
…take a deep breath and go pet your dogs and cat and be proud of yourself. you’re a really cool guy.
You seemed pretty clear to me, and I still agree with everything you said in that post. I’ve also had experience with people online who seem to have a talent for negatively “misinterpreting” things I wrote and who refused to believe /admit that it could possibly have meant anything else. And then of course telling all their friends so they turn on you too. Small scale compared to this, but I still get wary of posting stuff online for fear of accidentaly coming across as super rude or mean or whatever.
So I am very happy you keep on writing your blog anyway ’cause f*ck those guys!
Thanks for everything you do and the example you set.
Hey man, I’m glad you’re you, and glad you played Wesley Crusher. Love the character, love the show. Just knowing you’re out there somewhere with your silly bedhead and loving family makes me happy. Sorry people are such buttheads.
I don’t often comment, but I just wanted to be another good person showing up in your comments today to support you, Wil.
Oh, you were clear and honest. They deliberately chose to misinterpret you and create a shitstorm for clicks. They’re kinda like cockroaches, I think…once they find a morsel of anything that looks like it might be tasty for the masses, they show up in droves and just. keep. coming. You can have a perfectly clean house but now they know that once, just once, they were able to eke out something that got them clicks! Revenue! Comments! So they will keep coming back and trying to find anything else to munch on, even if they have to twist something innocent until it fits their chosen narrative.
I deliberately dropped out of the public eye for this very reason. I was tough enough to take it (kinda), but when they started mentioning my children, that’s when I decided it was time to go. I have the UTMOST respect for your strength and ability to keep on keepin’ on in the face of all this. You’ve got some serious backbone, friend. Never forget that.