I wrote this on my dumb Facebook yesterday:.
At least three blogs linked to my blog about the minifigs today. All three of the ones I saw essentially quoted the entire thing, and then added commentary that misrepresented what I said, and what my intention was when I said it.
Another blog, home to one of the most pathetic, sad, empty, angry, hateful failures in the universe also linked to it.
The resulting flood of toxic and cruel and hateful people into my life has been appalling and revealing.
Unsurprisingly, when a shitty person is shitty, they attract other shitty persons to their blog. When a blog that presents itself as news writes shitty posts that are intended to make shitty people feel better about themselves by attacking and tearing down other people, those sites attract shitty people.
And now a lot of those shitty people are all up in my business. I can ignore a lot of it, and I block and move on, but it’s frustrating and disheartening to see so much hate and cruelty projected from people who I don’t know and wasn’t writing for in the first place. It’s gross and it makes me feel … well, the only word I can come up with is “icky” and that’s not the best word. I just feel like the stink of toxic, terrible people is around me today, and it makes me grateful for the millions of you out there who are not that, who choose to spend a little bit of time in the same virtual space as me.
Dickheads are gonna be dickheads, and I have to be better at just ignoring that (Hardwick is the Zen master of this, if you’re looking for inspiration). But those news blogs that reprinted exactly what I wrote, but then recontextualized it (and me) to create a false narrative … that’s frustrating to me. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough in my post, so I left it open to interpretation. Maybe I didn’t make it clear that I was answering a question, sharing a raw and unfiltered emotional response to something, and concluding that I was disappointed. I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t ranting, I wasn’t furious, I didn’t call for a boycott. I just said I was disappointed, and I explained why. I thought I was clear, and I thought it was dispassionate (as much as it can be when it’s talking about something that has been a bit of a raw nerve for thirty years). So if I wasn’t extremely clear, I guess that’s on me.
But I can’t help but feel like these blogs deliberately used sensational language to create a narrative that justified their writers essentially quoting everything I wrote, adding no new information or informed analysis, and collecting the ad revenue. That’s frustrating to me, because they get to move on to their next bit of sensationalized bullshit, while I spend days dealing with the trolling and associated garbage from people who will read their sensationalized headlines, accept their sensationalized framing, and then come after me on social media or in the comments of my own blog. It’s ironic that I had to block some shitty people here, because one of the founding principles of my blog, over ten years ago, was for me to have a place to speak for myself, after a lifetime of being spoken for by publicists. It was to give me a place to set the record straight, after years of being talked about by people who knew little to nothing about me. And here we are, a decade later, and I’m doing the same thing I was back then: speaking up to say, “that’s not what I said, and you know it’s not what I said.” There’s an argument to be made for just ignoring it and moving on, and there’s an argument to be made that I’m doing this all over again ten years later because I’m screwed up, emotionally. Maybe that’s the case. I have to live with this brain that lies to me all the time, and I’m coming off of 24 hours of shitty people telling me to kill myself, so maybe I’m not the most objective observer in this regard.
But all of that is prelude and context to what I hope will be the real takeaway from this stupid thing: I am genuinely grateful that I interact with kind and good people in real life and online almost every day. I am grateful that we work with intention to create a positive and uplifting place when we are together, and I am grateful that, even when I was a shitty teenager, I never would have wanted to be around cruel, unhappy, nihilists who have little to no empathy in their lives, and use anger to give their lives meaning.
Thanks for listening.
Note: Because I’m dealing with trolls and dickweeds right now, I’ve set comments to go into moderation, unless you have a previously-approved comment. Thanks for understanding.
People who pour crap on others as a way to validate their own existence are to be pitied. Don’t let them dilute your awesomeness, brah! You’re out there, fighting the good fight, bringing some light and originality into the world. Every lumen counts.:)
I thought you expressed your thoughts in a way Gene Roddenberry would have been proud of. People who sensationalise and ridicule because they don’t agree clearly miss quite a few messages that Trek embodies.
Some people suck. It makes me frustrated and sad that sucky people have been directed to focus their sucky vitriol at you.
For me, I really like reading your blog and appreciate your honest ruminations on life and the world. There have been a number of times when your reflections have touched an anxious and raw part of my inner world in ways that I can always give words to and I appreciate that greatly. And I think you are funny.
Again, sorry the sucky people tried to make you feel shitty. That’s not cool.
From one whose brain lies to them to another, you are not alone. A wise woman once told me “you got dis.” She meant that I was strong, capable, and loved. I pass these words to you: You Got Dis, Wil!
When Life is filled with
Shitty people and hatred,
Remember this, Wil,
You are not Alone.
You are Loved, Strong, and Able.
Wheaton, You Got Dis!
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I also suffer from Depression and I have a hard enough time dealing with negative comments from myself. Your perseverance is an inspiration. I hold you and your opinions in high regard, and I am thankful that you share them (and yourself) with us.
I feel a little out of place as one of your fans. I know of Wesley Crusher, my dad is a big Trek fan, but I never go into it. I am a fan of yours due to TableTop and Titansgrave. I won’t pretend to understand how you’re feeling about this Mini-Fig. I want you to know you have made fans and impressions outside of Star Trek, and Wesley Crusher doesn’t define Wil Wheaton. I do know jokes get old, unfortunately many people don’t understand that. Keep your head up and know that you are making a difference for good in the world. The most reference I hear regarding you is Wheaton’s Law – Don’t be a dick!”. That is something you should be proud of.
You know, when I first saw that set I just thought it was a great set. I thought the Wesley face was funny and then I moved on with my day. Then I read your blog post and while part of me though “Man, it’s just a joke and Wil isn’t Wesley” another part of me realized “Yeah, but I haven’t been living his life or having his experiences for all these years. I haven’t heard ‘Shut up Wesley!’ all the time or had all the experiences all these years” and I realized that from my comfy extreme remove (in that I watched the show, WAS the target demographic for Wesley and loved him, but also thought it was funny how often he was needed to save the ship.) I can’t really understand how this would affect you.
And so I realized, why does the face have to be like that? The rest of them are straight faced, why not Wesley. I’m sorry that life has been so unrelentingly negative over a character you played, but had no control over, that this is a trigger for you. I felt like you did a great job in honestly expressing your feelings and that’s why I keep reading here. Anyone attacking you over that post just doesn’t get what you are doing here and hasn’t read any of your other material.
(BTW, when in high school I was required to do a large writing project in which I had two sentences using commas in all contexts. The first was something random, but the second was always a variation on the theme of “Undaunted, Captain Picard asked Wesley to save the ship.” Maybe people should remember that as whiny as they remember Wesley being, the reality is that without him, the Enterprise-D would have been destroyed many times before it finally crashed into the planet.)
People only respond from their level of comprehension, and rarely does logic or accuracy make so much as a peep through the curtains. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with the negative fallout. I have found far too many neurotypicals love to assign intentions and emotions to my words/actions that I never said or even indicated.
I get it. ❤️
That first episode of the new season of Black Mirror totally hit on this, don’t you think? Toxic fan culture is just such a bummer.
As you have always said,,,,don’t be a dick, and i think you should add the postulate – Don’t listen to dicks! You keep on keeping on!
I am woefully late to the party, as I missed the original post, but:
The crying minifig is an insult to the fans, and a money loser for the guy making the sets. Simply put, he could make more money by offering multiple heads of various characters. (The io9 comments already show his multiple errors on the existing figs, not counting Wesley.)
Your blog post was well written and perfectly understandable. Anyone who took away from it anything else either does not have basic reading comprehension skills OR is willfully twisting your words.
We are the same age, within a few months. I was that awkward teenager who really wanted to like Wesley, but was constantly frustrated by the way he was written. I lived in a small town and didn’t get to go to any conventions until college, nor did I have a modem for access to early BBSs. Now I am thankful that I wasn’t subjected to the fan backlash against the character at the time. Your perspective over the past decade has really helped me come to terms with a lot of insecurities from that time. You are appreciated.
So, thanks for the blog post, along with all of the rest.
You are wonderful and fabulous and I love you. Some days, when I need the positive energy, I go on Youtube and find the clip of you telling a baby that being a fan/nerd/etc. is a wonderful thing, and I smile and cry and feel better about the world in general.
You are wonderful. That is all.
I am so glad that I found this blog. Makes me realize that I am not alone in the universe, and that I have much in common with someone on a completely different career track. Thank you for being real
I honestly don’t know how you do it, but I’ve always admired you sticking thru the junk. You’ve inspired me to find ways to deal many times. I’m sorry it’s sickening, but your light shines brighter for it. I know it’s hard when we can’t see our own light. ❤
Imo the trolls are %100 projecting. They need pity, but YOU don’t have to help them.
Please, don’t let the bastards (and I do mean bastards) get you down. I’m glad you’re there.
Er, somebody actually considers FACEBOOK relevant to anything substantial in the world??? And gets fussy about their ‘facts’? Que Surprise. Keep on doing all you do, sir. The brainy ones (like me) are watching from the tree seats and are keeping our traps shut. Because who the hell are we to judge?? Aw shoot! I just busted my resolution to mind my own business…
“Maybe I wasn’t clear..Maybe I didn’t make it clear that…”
I like your ownership here but I don’t think any of this is a result of what you wrote. I think shitty people are always looking for “weak spots” in other people’s defenses. I think your authentic, honest response to the minifigs was threatening to them in some way and they needed to pounce on you to feel better about themselves.
ugh, internet haters. so sorry you are dealing with this. I thought your post was clear, made sense, and made me think about Wesley Crusher and teenagers in general in a new way. So, thanks for writing it.
I live in the northeast of the US. Last year, we had a POLAR VORTEX. This week, we’re going to have a BOMB CYCLONE, followed by ANOTHER POLAR VORTEX. My point? The freakin’ WEATHER REPORT has sensationalist headlines! Anything for clicks. So yeah – your blog entry feeds the machine…
You, sir, are a terrific actor, writer and internet presence. The fictional Picard showed a character flaw (double entendre intended) when he told Wesley to shut up, and the real-life shitty people are showing the exact same character flaw when they are shitty toward you now. As many have said, it says a lot more about Picard/the shitty people than it does about you. Also makes me wonder: maybe that writing wasn’t so terrible after all? 🙁
Please push on – I (and many others) enjoy what you do…
Don’t forget, you can just turn that Wesley mini-figure’s head around and he’s smiling!
For every troll & hater out there, there are many more who quietly respect your point-of-view.
I’m sorry that mean people suck. I’m listening, and am grateful that you write. As an educator, in a stem field, what you wrote had a lot of meaning to me. Thank you, and hang in there.
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. I feel like people are going to believe what they want to believe regardless of the actual text and that the only way to know what someone “means” by what they say is by either (a) reading more of what they write, or (b) knowing them in person. You can take just about anything anyone says out of context and turn it to support your point because paragraphs are just a series of sentences made up of words that are strung together in an accepted form of meaning. This was actually one of my main problems/issues with English classes. I have a great deal of trouble with the fact that there are people who will only accept one meaning to a poem/book/essay etc. If the person who wrote is dead, then you can you say that this is what it unequivocally means? But that’s all a rant down the garden path and away from my point. Which is that you are right, and uneducated morons tend to flock together and gain confidence by their numbers. I’m ever so sorry that your brain doesn’t allow you to brush it off and move on. That sucks more than the fact that trolls exist. Just keep surrounding yourself with respectful people who know how to disagree without turning it into an attack, and kind people with your same goals in life (to not be a dick) and you’ll hopefully find some balance.
Just remember Jesus loves you. Even Christians are told not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. In layman’s terms don’t hangout with people that will bring you down. BTW you are famous in Lutheran School circles @:)
Big hugs Wil. Just hang in there, remember every single person who has approached your booth at a con and told you how much something you’ve done has helped them in their lives (and I know this has happened, cuz I am one of them). Remember that the shitheads will eventually get bored and eventually leave enmasse to bother someone else, but the ones who like you and respect you will still be here. (Also, brace yourself, I’m sure you’ll get a shit ton of LEGO minifigs of Wesley and Sparks McGee at cons from now on).
Eh. I am very very sorry you wound up in the sights of the clickbait patrol yet again. You feel like at some point you shouldn’t care, but killing off that much of your heart would be more harm than good, I think. Keep caring. But also keep listening to the voices of those whose opinions you value, those who care about you and want good for you.
Will, please be good to yourself and do what you need to for self-care right now. I thought that your response about the minifigs was thoughtful, balanced and offered a different perspective that deserved to be heard. I think that often people forget that while a character is fictional and therefore doesn’t have real feelings, the same character may offer representation and a face to someone who is feeling isolated, disconnected, bullied, and discounted. Fictional characters may provide the only example of a person feeling the way they feel that they can identify with. Making a game of or culture that exists solely to degrade a character may seem easy and “just kidding” to some and very personal to others. It’s easy to be nasty, it takes effort to think first and send positive energy into the world. With all the real-life negative energy in the world right now, I think it’s especially important to question arbitrary negativity and ask people to be better to eachother. Thank you for taking the risk and making the effort to do this. If you need a break from spaces that do not share kindness and positive energy, please do what is needed to care for you. We’ll be here when you get back.
Sorry to hear this Wil! I don’t understand why people feel the need to be hurtful and feel that the increased anonymity of an online space somehow makes it ok to be a terrible human being. It’s not encouraging, but try to keep in mind that there are billions of people out there, so there are going to be dickheads. But the comments on this blog also show that there are a lot of people who strongly disagree with that kind of casual cruelty you described and that we have all seen.
I’ve followed your blog for a while and always meant to comment, but kind of felt like my voice was irrelevant in the stream of hundreds of others already posting as I probably didn’t have anything to add that wasn’t already being said. Today I decided I should comment because maybe a chorus will be more meaningful and helpful to you in this specific issue, to show how broad support for you is (very by the way).
Thanks for putting your heart and soul into Wesley Crusher when that was your day job and continuing to apply that passion to other projects over the years! Don’t let trolls and jackasses get you down. 2018 is a new year and while it is kind of an arbitrary thing, it’s a clean slate.
I know it’s so disheartening, but please know that as fans, when someone we care about is attacked, we feel attacked along with you and we will stand and defend you. Anyone who knows anything about you will not believe the BS and honestly, when I see the BS being written or spread about you, I don’t even give them the benefit of views by reading / listening to what they have to say. I have been following your career for about 2/3 of my life at this point and I know who I believe.
We have your back.
It’s totally understandable that such behavior makes you feel icky. But remember that thier shitty response is not about you or what you said. It’s about them and thier pain. They are lashing out in thier pain to cause others pain. You can forgive and let go. Or you can be understably upset. But DONT make the mistake of thinking it about you or that there is anything that you can do about it except continue to be open and authentic and hope that might give someone permission to let go of thier pain and be open and authentic. But it’s not about you. (By the way you are awesome whether your brain tells you so or not)
There are a whole bunch of people here, in England, who also have your back, Wil. The happiest of happy new year’s to you and Anne from me and mine x
I’m sorry people are being dickheads…..we are living in such a toxic climate right now…….but I teach third graders and I see such hope for our future…..
I think you responded to the negativity of those other jerks in the best way possible: you wrote about it, and in an intelligent and entertaining way. Bravo!
If it helps, I thought it was pretty clearly “disappointed.” Not mad, not outraged, etc. Maybe frustrated.
Me, I’m the one outraged! By toys that are harder to play with because of forced extreme emotion! BAD DESIGN, NO DONUT!
(And also disappointed and frustrated by the other stuff. fistbump)
I love the things you write, and your honesty and openness have been very helpful to me. I’m doing a modified version of your “reboot” to start the year. I’m grateful to you for the idea!
I think the problem here is that on 12/28 you posted a photo of figures created by some jerk on the Internet. Ignoring dicks should have started with you not posting that picture. “Honey, some dick on the Internet is mocking a character you played 30 years ago!”
“That’s nice dear. Pass the gravy,” said Wil. Then he erased the picture and found something worthy of his attention.
Don’t let the turkeys get you down. We’re all here for the long haul. They’ll dive off into whatever they can turn into a cesspool next.
But we’re here. Were staying. I personally greatly value what you have to say and I’m not going anywhere.
Seems every internet outrage and pile on starts with “I didn’t really read what you wrote but somebody said I should be mad about it so I will now vent all the cruelty I could never really get away with in person cuz interwebs”
I know The Onion was only kidding, but it really is time to shut the internet down until people can use it responsibly. Community standards of civilized behavior don’t do much when thousands of welcoming arms await Sir Shitty McShitface at the click of a button, to accept and reinforce their shittiness. I can’t think of a better fate than to force them back into their communities, where peer and public pressure will straighten them out – or at least keep them quiet while the adults adult.
But since that’s not gonna happen, here’s a tip o’ the fez to you, WW. Stay awesome. You know they lost in Alabama because feminism, right? It’s true.
Just wanted to join the choir of supporters… I’m happy to count myself among your fans. Keep being awesome, and see if Zen Master Hardwick can help you ignore the haters. Also, yeah, I cannot believe they actually allowed that minifig to happen… so disappointing.
I suggest that a corollary be appended to Wheaton’s Law:
“Remember that dicks will be dicks, and that they do not define you”
Alternate wording:
“Haters gonna hate, dicks gonna dick”
I stand with you, Wil. FWIW.
I actually enjoyed the Wesley Crusher character. Of course there were times he was annoying. There were times when every single character on that show was annoying. That’s because we are ALL annoying from time to time. That’s being human. We give others grace and patience during their ugly times because one day we will need them to return the favor. I thought the show did a good job of demonstrating that.
That being said, I cannot imagine being bombarded with comments from people who have nothing better to do with their time than tear others down on the internet. That would be overwhelming to anyone and almost impossible to simply “ignore”. I hate that you have been going through that.
By the way, I also like the version of yourself you play on BIG BANG and I thought Doctor Parish on EUREKA was hilarious.
Keep doing good work. There are many of us who genuinely appreciate you putting yourself “out there” like you do.
I really appreciated your thoughts on this because I, too, was disappointed in the Lego figures and for many of the reasons you articulated. I grew up with Wesley Crusher and I admired the heck out of that kid. I wanted to be Wesley! Hell, I still do! I guess this should really be a thank you, for being a role model we geeky, awkward, nerdy kids needed to see. Even if you did go on to be evil Wil Wheaton on TBBT! 😉
I’ve never commented but I want my comment to somehow nix one of the shitty ones you’ve received. I read what you wrote and found it interesting and well-worded. Those hateful people can go crap in their hats. Hugs to you, Wil.
Wil, please continue to hold on to your insistence that the internet (maybe even the world) CAN and SHOULD be a better place. It’s too easy to be shitty; why it’s so hard to be kind to one another is baffling and frustrating. Let’s all try as hard as we can.
Sometimes the party has a character who always steps out front to absorb the damage and make space for the rest of the party to get into the room. Thank you for continuing to step in and serve the “meat shield” service for thoughtful people in this big ol’ dungeon. May the healer always reach you in time.
Wil the Tank….love it
So is there a reason you mass banned people from following you on Twitter who had nothing at all to do with this or?
I was so massively harassed, by so many people, I blocked as many of them and their followers as I could. If a person is an asshole, I’m going to block them, and I decided that people who are happy to follow asshole can also be blocked, because I’m fed up with assholes on Twitter.
They’ll get over it, and get back to their shitposting and pepe memes soon enough.
Block dem idiots! I can’t believe there is STILL this much vitriol directed towards you when the world is in the state it’s in. Your response was well-written and well-thought out. I loved Wesley and I think you’re great! Keep your head up! 🙂
Sorry to hear that you’re being trolled by numbnuts, and I do understand the need to moderate because of it. IMHO, you should take what those people say with a huge grain of salt. Trust me, there are people out there who are very capable of having a rational discussion with any kind opposing viewpoint. Those who can’t, by all means should be nuked and blocked. While I may not agree with what you opine from time to time, I still like what write about because you refuse to compromise your principles.
I thought the explanation of your reaction was clear. I agree that you should not take to heart the asshat opinions of internet trolls, and good for you for standing up for yourself. This is especially true since you were thoughtfully answering a question put to you by many people, not taking personal pot shots and screaming rude insults like your detractors. Keep on being honest and doing what you do, those of us able to think for ourselves appreciate it.
Soooo from what I see, the reason why trolls are attacking is that Wil has set an auto block on twitter and many youtubers and their followers are on their list. Even I am on that blocklist. This is reminiscent to the situation Steve Shives is in. He has an auto blocker that blocks anyone that has to do with some skeptic youtubers, and it includes their followers… including me. The reason why people are messing with Wil is because this auto block usage is seen as a cowardly move. To be so infatuated in your own world only those you know will be accepted into it, and everyone else can rot behind the barrier of the auto block. Usually when this happens, you will be criticized and you will be seen as a crazy person.
Take this to heart and remove that auto block. When people are curious, they will investigate. Come out clean and apologize since that’s how you get rid of this curse.
Nobody is entitled to my time and attention, and I choose to block people because who annoy me, people who follow shitty people, and people who join in brigading.
The behaviour of these childish people validates and reaffirms my reasons for blocking them and the shitbags they follow in the first place.
Well said, Wil. None of us need this added tripe in our lives. I appreciate and applaud your stance on clearing your own space from those who are deliberately looking for ways to pull you down. Have a better day and a great year ahead!
Wil,
I’m a huge fan of yours, and have been for years. I love all of your work. I’ve never tweeted anything negative at you AT ALL. Period. But now just because I happened to be following a YouTuber that made a (distasteful, granted) joke, I’m suddenly just as bad as him and guilty by association? I hadn’t even seen the distasteful tweet by the time I found out, let alone liked it/Retweeted it (if I had I could maybe see how blocking me was fair), and suddenly I’m blocked, which is kind of a generalizing, blanket action. I’m really dissapointed, honesty. I enjoyed your work and your Twitter content. (I’m not trying to anger, just trying to get an answer.)
You’ll probably never see this, let alone respond, but it would mean a lot if you did.
Thanks.
I’m sorry you got caught in a false positive, due to a big blunt instrument. Are you BronzeWolf on Twitter? I’ll unblock you.
Bronzewolf64, actually, but yeah. Thank you for taking time to do that, I appreciate it.
Hey Wil, I saw you unblocked me on Twitter yesterday. Thank you so much, I really do appreciate it. It’s an honor just to speak with you.
Now I know this is a long shot, and I completely understand if you decline, but while I have you here and since I have a dialogue channel open with you, I would kick myself if I didn’t take this opportunity. I’m a journalist for Seibertron.com, the biggest Transformers website on the internet. Would you be open for just a quick interview about your role in the Machinima Transformers Titans Return series? Just whenever works best for you, either via email or Private Messaging thru social media. It would mean a lot, and would be much appreciated by our readers and the Transformers community, but I totally understand if you decide not to.
Thank you so much again for your response earlier, and any consideration into my inquiry.
Brennnan
“Nobody is entitled to my time and attention”. I love that, I need to live that.
Yep. No-one is obligated to let anybody follow them anywhere, whether they are nice or not. I agree with Wil, if you follow a dick you are probably a dick yourself, even if you think you are a nice person. You can take that to heart yourself if you like. Love and hugs to you, Wil! As always, you have so much grace under pressure! xxx
Did he seriously just tell you to apologize for taking steps to prevent trolls from fucking up your day?
Dude, I can block someone just because it’s Thursday. Don’t like it? I don’t care.
Why should Mr. Wheaton bow to your demands??? Who the hell are you?? He has every right to block whomever he wants in whatever way that he wants. There is no reason to subject oneself to the idiocy of people on the internet if that is not the kind of thing that one wants to see. Mr. Wheaton is a celebrity who has to deal with unwanted communications from all sorts of people. I’m sure that in his situation, I would take to blocking many more people in a much broader scope than I currently do. He has nothing to apologize for and actually, I applaud him for blocking people who he finds annoying or offensive rather than to engage with them in the negative manner that most of them crave.