A little over fifteen years ago, I started writing a blog. I loved lifting the curtain on my personal life and sharing what was going on as I learned how to be a father, handled a vindictive ex-husband who exhausted my family while he tried to hurt my wife (not caring that he was doing a lot of collateral damage to my then step-kids at the same time), and about my almost-daily struggles to figure out why I had a once-promising acting career that had stalled out and wasn’t going anywhere.
I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words since then, not just in my blog, but in books and for places I was honored and privileged to contribute to, like Suicide Girls and the AV Club. Over the last year or so, I’ve put about 71000 words into the manuscript of my first novel, and I’ve wasted far, far, far too much time on Twitter.
I really hate Twitter. It was once promising, and I feel like it still does some good, but on balance, it enables harassment and evil and cruelty at least as much if not more than it helps things change for the better. I feel like it has broken our society, and wrecked our social contract. I feel like the board at Twitter, and its CEO, Jack Dorsey, know this, but they’re too busy profiting from their inaction to care. May history judge them all the way they deserve.
I’ve been thinking about how bad Twitter has become, and how I can’t imagine asking people to follow me there like I did when it started so long ago. I’ve been thinking about how angry and sickened I am by the Fascist who is currently occupying the presidency, and the people he has surrounded himself with who enable and encourage him and his hateful conduct that goes against everything America has always represented to the world (except for the shameful and indefensible parts of our history, like slavery, Jim Crow, and Internment).
I’ve been thinking about how I want to tell silly and even hearfelt stories in my blog. I’ve been thinking about how I want to share how wonderful my kids were on Father’s Day, (which they know I don’t care about) when they took me out to lunch and ice cream anyway, because it was an excuse to be together. I want to write about how much I love my daughter in law, and how happy she makes my son. I’ve been thinking about how I want to write about how grateful I am that, even though my kids are 28 and 26, and not children at all anymore, they still want to spend time with me. I want to write about how great it feels to know that all the suffering we all went through when they were young didn’t affect our family in the way it was designed to. I want to celebrate that the worst person in the world, who made our lives a living hell, is relegated to a rarely-remembered footnote in our family’s history, who is living the life he deserves. I don’t write about these things, now, because they are deeply personal, and I don’t feel like it’s aways necessary or even smart to pull the curtain back on my life, or the lives of my family.
And yet … I will write about something personal, real quick, because it’s a story I’ve wanted to tell for almost ten years:
Ryan was 19, and was home between semesters of college. He’d had a real difficult year while he was adjusting to school and being away from home, and his mom and I were doing everything we could to support him while he went through a challenging growth phase.
I had just bought this laser star projector from Think Geek, and I wanted to show him how cool it was to spray little green points of light across the ceiling of our living room, and just lay there, watching them drift around.
So we turned off the lights, stretched out on the floor, and did just that. The house was quiet, and the only sound was the soft whirr of the fan inside the projector.
We imagined constellations, and named them, but were mostly quiet, too, until Ryan, still looking up at our imaginary planetarium, said, “So I’ve been thinking about something…”
“Oh?” I said, “What’s that?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about how I am who I am because of you. I love science fiction and literature because you introduced it to me when I was little. I care about people because you taught me to be empathetic. You have always been more of a dad to me than my dad ever was … and I was hoping that you’d make it official, and adopt me.”
One of the laser points of light drifted across the ceiling, like a shooting star. I watched it and tried to process what I had just heard. Ryan’s dad had spent his entire childhood trying to convince Ryan to reject me. He wasted their whole lives to that point trying to make them pick sides in a battle that neither one of my kids wanted to be part of. At times, it felt like he was going to be successful, and a day would come when the children I did not make, but did raise as if they were my own, would never speak to me again.
And now, a day had come that I always dreamed of, but never actually expected to happen.
“Is that okay?” He asked. I didn’t realize that I’d been quiet for close to a minute, while I was trying to process that this was real, that this was really happening. I didn’t realize that tears were streaming out of the corners of my eyes, down the sides of my face, and pooling in my ears.
“Ryan, I would be honored to adopt you,” I said, thickly.
“Is it okay if I change my name, too?” He asked.
The tears turned to joyful sobs, and I told him that I would love that.
It took months, and a lot more complicated paperwork that you’d probably expect for an adult adoption, but we eventually found ourselves in the same courthouse his soon to be out of our lives forever biodad had dragged us into for years. In the same place I had to listen to lies about me and my wife and our relationship with our boys, we stood up in front of a judge, my godmother (who came all the way to Pasadena to be part of it), his mom and brother, and a couple of close friends, and we swore that we wanted to legally become father and son. Years later, I got to do the same thing with Nolan, who didn’t choose a poetic moment under imaginary stars to ask (he isn’t a writer, like Ryan is) but asked me during lunch at Comic-con! Both days were the sort of thing I would have rushed home to write about when they were young, but I kept it just for me and my family, until now, and not just because I wanted to respect their privacy as adults.
These are the stories that I miss telling, because these are the stories that don’t just make me happy, but are the stories that I believe can resonate with readers.
Like, right now, I am here to tell my fellow stepparents that you are doing a wonderful thing, being a loving and supportive parent to your kids, whether they share your DNA and name or not. (In fact, for the first 15 years we were together, I told the boys that they were Wheatons in everything but name, and if they didn’t want to take that step, I respected that. I would love them no matter what.) I remember how hard it was to not take the bait when their biodad would tell them some outrageous lie about Anne and me, and instead just tell them that I was sorry they had to hear that, and remind them that I loved them no matter what. I hope that by sharing the story of my son asking me to officially become his father, a stepparent somewhere who is having a hard time, or a stepchild who is wondering if they can ask about adoption, will feel a little less alone and afraid.
Shitty people like to try and hurt me by saying that I raised someone else’s kids, like that’s somehow a dishonorable thing. I feel genuinely sad for those people, if they truly believe that, but when they’re just being cruel, I honestly don’t really care what some asshole stranger on the Internet thinks about my relationship with the people I love.
Which brings us back to Twitter. I took it off my phone months ago, because I didn’t need to give my time and energy to garbage humans whenever I had a free moment. I turned my mentions off a couple weeks ago, because even though I’m blocking over 25000 accounts, new shitty people are popping up every hour of every day, and taking advantage of their ability to reach into my life and try to hurt me. It sucks to miss the fun stuff, the “yes and” to my dumb jokes and puns, and the interactions with good and kind people that I’ve absolutely loved since I created by account. But as I wrote recently, unless and until Twitter takes harassment and all its systemic problems seriously, it causes more harm and unhappiness than anything else. It’s not you, good and kind people, it’s me. And it’s Twitter. But we all know that, don’t we?
I have work to do. I have stories to tell. I have a wife and children and pets to spend my time with. I have a lot of deeply personal things happening in my life right now, that I have no intention of talking about. I have people in my life who are far more important to me than Twitter or blogging.
I have been trying to quit Twitter for close to two years, but I can’t, because being there is important to people who want to work with me. I can’t because part of me holds out some desperate hope that it will get better. I can’t because there are three million people there who seem to care about what I do in this world, and it’s really stupid to abandon them, when I have creative projects coming up that I think they want to know about.
But my God, people, Twitter is broken and it’s destroying our ability to see the humanity in each other. I know that I am guilty in that regard, but you’ll have to forgive me for how much I hate Nazis.
See? I did it again.
I know that this website started out as an unfiltered view into my world, but I’m old now. My kids are grown. The people I work with read it, and my employers are giving me increasingly restrictive agreements to sign before I can work with them, which I kinda need to do to support my family. I’m not going to be able to go back to the way things were, because the world has changed so much, but maybe that’s for the best, because time I don’t spend here is time that I can spend in my imagination, writing the stories that I want to write, that I hope you want to read.
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Wil, this is exactly the sort of piece that drew me to your blog over a decade ago and kept me coming back – it’s personal and moving, yes, but most importantly, it’s candid and genuine. There’s too little of that on the internet, or even IRL, nowadays. Everybody’s always “on,” it seems, or maybe just too many people have forgotten how to be real. So, thanks for this.
As for the step-parent thing, I’m envious. Your outcome was miraculous, really. Or at least very rare. My partner and I found ourselves in a similar situation with my two boys (close in age to yours) and a bitter (and psychotic) biomom whose behavior caused untold, irreparable, ongoing damage to all of our lives. I envy you your dream outcome – never lose appreciation for it.
In closing, I just want to say that this made me sad on so many levels: “I’m not going to be able to go back to the way things were, because the world has changed so much…” It’s true of your blog. It’s also true of our lives. And that makes me saddest of all.
Thank you Wil for all the things you’ve chosen to share over the years. It has been wonderful to read your take on life, the world and whatever happens to be going on. But at the end of the day you don’t owe us anything. What you wish to share is a treasure and is welcomed, and the rest is none of our business.
Thank you especially for this story of you and your sons. I’m a step mom of a few years of a now six year old who only lives with us on vacations since her mother unfortunately moved to Michigan and we live in California. I struggle with who I am and my place in our daughter’s life because I want to be a force for good, a chance to show her empathy and kindness and compassion in this evolving and terrifying country we live in. I worry about who I am to her, but when she says things like “my mom doesn’t make me do that” my response is always “I am not your mom, I’m your Kristi and this is how we do things here.” I don’t want to replace the mother she has, I just want to share who I am with her. I hope some day to feel entitled to celebrate Mothers Day in the way she and her father want me to and I hope I can help her in this evolving world.
To use less words – thank you for showing me I’m not the only person who struggles with being a non-biological parent.
I really hope, that you never quit your gem-like website.
I’ve said this before, but you and Anne are the part of the good in the world. You stand up for the voiceless and fight for a better place to live. There’s nothing wrong with stepping back from social media. You two inspire me to be better, I truly mean that.
Write the stories privately and keep them safe, I’m sure your family will want to hear them. My grandad wrote a book about his time in the RAF, he wrote it for his grandchildren, so we could hear the stories he wanted to tell but could never talk about. All of us treasure it.
I discovered your blog around 2009-ish, not long after the “Don’t be a dick” speech. Wil, you’ve had an enormous impact on my life since then, in so many ways. We’ve never met, never even exchanged words on the internet, but you’ve been a positive influence for me. You’ve played a bit part in changing my life for the better. I’m not alone, you’ve made a hell of an impact on the lives so many people that you will never know.
I’ve noticed your slow and steady retreat from the internet, and I’ve missed the presence you once had. I fucking love RFB. HOWEVER, I also understand that you’re an actual person, with an actual life and actual priorities that shift like anyone else’s.
It’s alright, man. Take care of yourself. 🙂
So.
I sit here reading a story that is somewhat similar to one I have experienced.
One of my cousins have a similar story.
My aunt had gotten pregnant and when the biological father found out, he left her. She then turned to a close friend who loved her from afar. He went into the relationship with his eyes open. He was listed as the father to the child. He was caring, supportive, and loving. He inspired his son to be a good person and showed him what real love was.
My cousin doesn’t know. The family does but we choose not to tell him because my uncle was the kind of father we wanted to aspire to.
I’ve stopped using Twitter as well but I still use RSS so I never miss your blog posts.
As a celebrity though, I think you should only use Twitter as a broadcast tool for stuff you’re doing just so people can keep up with you. No reading mentions or dms, etc just “here’s a thing of mine.”
Thank you Wil. Have been reading your words for near as long as you have been writing them. Helpful just to know there is someone struggling with a lot of of the things that make my life sometimes a real bear. Keep on sharing the things that make you happy to share and I will keep on reading them.
At the beginning, you mentioned the words that you have written and I absolutely must say that I love your words. You have an incredible way with them. The way you described the moment Ryan asked you to adopt him had tears running down my face (which is a bit awkward given that I’m a librarian sitting a reference desk in the middle of the wing with dozens of people walking by). It was such a treat and I’m thankful you shared it with the world. You’re so right about Twitter. I quit it some time back, and with everything going on in the world right now, I have not been tempted to go back anytime soon. I hope that all of your personal and professional endeavors go well for you and wish every happiness to you and yours!
I can completely understand. There’s still a fairly large segment in my profession, education, who feel using Twitter is being “new fangled tech savvy.” Sigh. I keep a couple accounts just to maintain those connections and follow incredible contributors, like you. I get it about being vague and private; educator, right? Please keep casting and blogging, even if you need to keep things under wraps. I hope I’m not repeating myself too much but you write well and connect with people, myself included. Thank you, sincerely, for the hours, the revelations, and soul searching. It’s meaningful and it matters.
That’s because you’re a great parent! My mom is my mom. She may not be my biological mom but she is the one that raised me and still drives me crazy from time to time, because…that’s what parents do. Every December we not only celebrate our parents getting married but when 2 kids each became a 4 kid household.
Thank you for once again opening up your heart and mind
Fully agree with your view on the state of social media; especially Twitter. It must be difficult as a public figure who is almost demanded to be on and interacting via a method that encourages bullying and other cowardly behaviour. Behaviours that are listened to and in many ways encouraged in all versions of social media. It is way too easy to say anything you wish behind the veil of anonymity without any accountability.
I have greatly enjoyed your narration of books. Most recently Read Player One. You are a talented and gifted person. I’m not the only one that believes this from the other comments I’ve read here. Ignore the anonymous masses of negativity and instead listen to those who enjoy your work. It is impossible to please everyone.
I am truly touched by your story of you adult stepson asking to be adopted. There is no greater statement of your place as his Dad. Any man can father a child but a Dad is the one who is there that raises you, puts their ideals in you, and is there to help you pick up the pieces when things go wrong.
Speaking as one of your readers from almost the very beginning of Wil Wheaton dot net and wil Wheaton in exile, I miss stories like these. Thank you for sharing. I was also one of the eagle eyed viewers that noticed Ryan had changed his last name from his episode of the first season of Tabletop. I thought it was probably an interesting story that you were keeping to yourself. I was right and it’s a beautiful story.
But what’s this you say about you being old now? You’re only a year older then me and……..oh shit, I’m old.
Anyway, I totally understand where you’re coming from and just like any toxic relationship, you need to make a clean break from Twitter. Maybe a platform will become available to safely communicate with us non Nazi humans. But I’m not holding my breath.
This is one of those pivotal moments that you’ll feel good about down the road. Take care of yourself and your wonderful family (and yes I know I’m not the boss of you but obey my orders anyway!)
Just a simple fan,
Chris AKA squirrelgnome.
The main reason why I’ve never embraced Twitter is that I still value my job. I work for a guv’ment entity and there are times I would love to unload somewhere about the hypocrisy of my employer, but at my age, I need to stay gainfully employed.
Some times, stepping back from cyber space is the best way to stay truly sane and grounded.
Your Blog is the one that feels like home to me, that said I am always checking out all of your online content. Thank you for sharing such a great moment with us about your sons (AWESOME!). Thank you for sharing some raw opinion and your feelings as well. I am another member of the silent majority, my first post in 14 years of reading, we have your back.
Great post Will. Thanks for sharing.
I hope you are well.
If you get a chance to talk to Chris, let him know that his fans are hoping for the best.
We are wishing healing towards him and Chloe, and hope that his voice will not be lost.
Hi Wil, I’m newly following you Goodreads. Your experience with your stepsons got me teary-eyed… in a good way. I love knowing that the guy who tried to hurt you and your wife couldn’t, because the kids saw what was really happening. Whenever I hear of exes with kids trying to pit the children against their ex it makes me sick. But I know the children will eventually see the truth. Or I hope.
About how negative social media can be – Yep. I’ve recently cut back on FB. It can’t be healthy when I begin to feel negative feelings toward people and walk away feeling bummed out. When I do post anything I try to post something that humors me and hopefully others. Because of that I went back to blogging, something I left after discovering FB.
Thanks for sharing. Oh, and all those nice things you want to share, even if you don’t do it publicly, write them down. You’ll not only feel better, years later you’ll love reading and living those experiences again.
Wil, I would like to share with you my adoption story. In 2007, my wife and I were married, we became a family all at once, mother, Robbie, Ashle age 9, and Sarah age 7. Shortly thereafter I found my girls dad on Facebook. I summoned up all the courage I could muster, and sent him a private message introducing myself, so he would know the man who was taking care of his daughters. I also asked him if he would allow me to adopt his daughters. His response was not what I expected, he threatened me, told me how he would never sign over his rights to my girls. I always assumed that he wouldn’t care because he was behind in child support by $28,000. He hadn’t seen his daughters since 2000 when his and Debbies divorce went through, in fact, my youngest he held for enough time for Debbie to sign the divorce papers. To make a long story short, I did a closed adoption on January 11, 2011, he didn’t even respond to the lawyers letter about the adoption. I was prepared for a fight, but just got a whimper. A little funny side note, before I married my wife, my daughter’s had one cousin, after we were married, they had 61 cousins. I have never been happier with a choice I have made then when I adopted my daughter’s. Hats off to you, love your blog and the film’s and series you have been in. Thank you for sharing a personal triumph.
Wil, thank you again for your wonderful stories about your loving family. Always heartwarming.
Twitter, etc.
You and I are very close in age. We experienced the inception and growth of The Internets and Social Media. We know they hold such promise. However, please remember you are not required to keep toxic things in your life. I was over social media (forums) just as FB was launched. So I never joined FB, Twitter, Instagram or others. I gave up my cell phone in 2000. To date, being without these have created occasional communication gaps, but altogether have made me happier. Recently, I’ve experienced much more stress, anxiety and depression (as many of us have, I think) and coping can feel very difficult. I can’t imagine what I’d feel like or how much harder coping would be with the intrusion of FB, Twitter, etc. You’re in an industry that relies on these platforms, so I acknowledge quitting them has greater consequences for you. However, please, please remember these things are tools and the usefulness of a tool is to make your life better. If these things do not enhance your life, or worse if they introduce harm, then it’s okay (really good actually) to remove them from your life. Just some thoughts. YMMV. Best wishes to you.
Wil, I heard you speak at the library last weekend, was inspired by you and your humanity way beyond the topic of D&D. I could write a book about how awesome an experience that was in itself, but I wanted—actually, NEEDED—to reach out to you for another reason.
I am the only female in a D&D home brew that’s played together for over a year. My fellow players have all been nice to my face, but a few days ago I came across the Twitter page of one of the players and what I read broke me. Dozens or more racist, sexist, anti-immigrant, anti-women, gay-bashing hate speech spewed from the Twitter page of a person that I thought I knew. I am all for people having their own opinion, but the sheer viciousness of the attacks floored me. Other players talked with him about the page, and he says it is an online persona that he likes to maintain. The opinions are real, but taken to an extreme. A troll.
This is the first time I’ve ever encountered a real person who is an online troll. I don’t know how to square the person that I thought I knew with the trolling comments that he makes about people like me…non-white American, female, agnostic, pro-equality vegetarian. Oh gosh. Now that I say it out loud, I do seem the type to get picked on.
He says it’s me that has a thin skin, and says he is a victim of political correctness. What a messy predicament. How do I play D&D and otherwise associate with someone who says vicious things about people like me online? To my face, he is nice.
I’m sorry, I know you’re not running an advice column here. I’m just grasping for a life vest and don’t know where to turn. He is one of like, 3 friends that I have (the other males of the D&D group), so I don’t have a plethora of support.
You don’t have a thin skin. You’re a good person who just found out that someone you thought you knew is a despicable person. “Online persona” is a lazy and cheap way to justify being a cruel, racist, misogynist person. And he’s a real coward because he hides his hate behind a keyboard. “Political Correctness” is the laziest and cheapest dodge that awful people toss out to make themselves seem like the real victims. Another way to say “political correctness” is “empathy and compassion”. You’re describing a person who has neither of those things.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I can’t tell you what to do, but if I were in this situation, I would talk to the GM, and explain that I am not comfortable being in a game with someone who is antithetical to everything I believe in. If the GM isn’t willing to remove this person from the group, I would leave the group.
Of course, that’s easy for me to say because it’s not my game and my group that hang in the balance, but I personally have a zero-tolerance policy toward people who espouse that kind of hateful bile.
Thanks so much for replying, Wil. It means a lot to me to have your perspective as a GM and basic decent human. I understand you’re going through a lot of online trolling yourself. I’m sorry. It amazes me how much anger and hate people spread online. Don’t they know it affects people in real life too? Makes my head hurt. I’m gonna text my GM now…thank you again! If you’re ever in the market for a new player, let me know. I’m local-ish (LB), and I play a pretty cool Tiefling!
thanks again for the advice and perspective
~Nina
Thank you for sharing what must have been one of the most deeply meaningful moments of your life.
I mourn the reduction in your online presence while I applaud you doing what you need to do to keep healthy. While I’m here, thank you so much for your frank discussion of mental health stuff. You make me think it’s possible to live in a better place once I can force myself to get the ball rolling to get some help. I appreciate you. You’re a truly helpful human in a really awful time and place.
Thank you for your story about your kids. I am a step-parent too, and I sometimes find it hard to connect with the kids in my life, but I want to be a good role model and example for them. Their biomom was crazy for many years but has since calmed down, though I never actually speak to her for fear of that spell being broken. Anyway, just wanted to say that your advice and attitude for being a step-parent is so valuable and I’ve modeled many of my own reactions on it, and if you happened to write a book about step-parenting for step-parents I would read every word of it like 19 times.
We love you, Wil. Thank you for bringing a ray of light in our days.
Gaddamnit .. Onions!!!!!
I met you briefly at Comic Con, Wil, when my Step-Son and I went to your signing. I took out the Rice-Papered Insert for Tsuro for you to sign, and i told you the story that, i really felt a connection with you because you and I are both Step-father: Loving the children that were not born unto us. then my son, who was a bit star-struck at the time, and I presented you with Dice from our D&D stash.
You asked him what games he liked to play. “Tsuro, Catan, D&D” he said.
Then you turned to me and said, “Blood doesn’t always make a family. LOVE Makes a family!” I admit, i got choked up as I said, “Thank you!”
Since then, i’ve also adopted a little boy.
And so you see…. I love both my boys, even though i did not produce them, but i will make them men by example!
YOU TAUGHT ME THAT!
Great post.
You’re a good man, Wil Wheaton! A really good man!
And it was OTTAWA COMIC-CON where we saw you .. Just wanted to clarify the WHERE!
Thank you for sharing that story, Wil. Thank you for your blog, which I’ve enjoyed a lot. And I enjoy your Instagram also. I never started a Twitter account for some of the reasons you state above. Please keep sharing your stories, and your bedhead pictures.
Wow. Dude. Thank you for sharing this. I was a stepdad once, but sadly did not have the fortune you have as a stepdad. Glad you are sharing how you embrace life! Very encouraging.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your humanity. Wish you and your family happiness!
Oh! Viva Eureka! Just binged watched it on Prime, Wikipedia’d you and found your site. You are awesome brah.
You’re definitely not alone in what you’ve said. Another celebrity I’ve been following has said much the same about what social media has done, and that as a father his views of the world have shifted to consider what his children will be living within. He’s said that he knows he’s outspoken, but if he doesn’t speak, then he’s complicit with the surprising changes that have been occurring. Social media seems to be a trash bin where everything is thrown without care or consideration, and the places I’ve felt more comfortable have administrators who act quickly and decisively. I’m so sad to agree that being a public being in social media means to be open to those trolls who are bored and have nothing better to do.
I want a Tweeter Review system so you can sort for the highest ratings and only view those.
I deleted my Facebook page a few months ago, and it feels like the best decision I’ve ever made. It feels like my life has actually improved in some regards after I did it. And I have been itching to do the same on Twitter, leave it behind and never think of it again. Maybe it would be another improvement, who knows.
Sadly, I can’t do it. At least, not yet, and for the same reasons. I was kind of away from Twitter before leaving Facebook, but when I deleted my account I turned to it to keep contact with people I only meet on the Internet, good people, that I like talking to and sharing things with. And they are probably the main reason I still haven’t deleted my twitter as well.
I had no idea things on twitter were that bad, but now I’m realizing that trolls and nazis are everywhere, and there is no real escaping them unless we isolate ourselves completely. Full isolation is never a good thing, so the best we can do is manage to filter them as best as we can.
All the best, Will.
Very good post. But it is not just Twitter. It is all social media. I’ve referred to them as the “anti-social networks” for a long time. Even without all the negativity they disconnect us from each other while creating superfluous connections with little meaning. Nobody even has to care when other people are having birthdays any more. Social Media tells everyone its Joe’s birthday. All people need to do is click a link and write, “Happy Birthday!” and feel like they are being a good friend. And because they sent the message on anti-social media because anti-social media told them to they don’t feel the need to call Joe or remember to mail a card a few days before when they didn’t know it was Joe’s birthday because anti-social media hadn’t told them yet.
Besides watering down what would otherwise be real world connections it also makes it very easy to attack others you have something you don’t agree with while minimizing real world impact.
Everyone, friends and foes, become nothing but screen names and profile pictures, dehumanizing everybody.
Thank you Wil for sharing so much of your life with us! You are unlike any celebrity I know of. I love everything you do.
The more I see about Twitter and Facebook, the more secure I feel in my decision to just ignore the whole thing from the beginning. Wil, I’m sorry that these things are such an incredible trial for you.
I never had any personal interaction with adoption, but I’m glad that your interactions with the shitlord claiming to be your kids’ dad reached such a happy ending!
tears. this step mother thanks you. raising my daughter has been the greatest gift in my life. we do not need a paper to prove we are mother and daughter but i still hold out hope that some day she will ask me. cheers to you and your boys. xo
Dear Wil, if you have not already, please consider joining the happiest corner of the internet. We are on Facebook, Fans of Epbot, 6K strong. We are a lovely bunch of people. No trolling of any kind is permitted. Come sit at the Friendliest Nerd/Geek/Fun table you can imagine. We’d be delighted to have you (or your avatar, if you”d prefer to remain unknown). With Much Love
Plus, social media development has not been a charitable endeavor pursued to further the best of humankind! These are private companies that did not develop these products out of the goodness of their hearts. To be fair, they are not non-profit organizations and of course their employees deserve a good wage just like everyone else. And not all users are humanitarians either. Some use it to make money with free press and advertising.
Plus, you touched on ‘restrictive agreements’ which are becoming a major issue.
It must be really frustrating having your free speech squelched by companies wanting to make money. In the not so distant past, the general public had little idea of the personal opinions and intimate details of the lives of people trying to sell us stuff (much of it I wish I didn’t know, especially the salacious stuff). It seems to be a double-edged sword. Social media is used to sell as well as boycott. It’s used to build as well as tear down. It’s used to love as well as hate. It’s used to support as well as judge.
So, how do you separate your work and trying to appeal and sell to the largest possible audience, from your personal life and expressing your personal opinions about people? I’m sure there’s some conservative Nerds as well as liberal Nerds and secular Nerds as well as religious Nerds!
Wil, this is precisely why I have followed your blog for years. I knew you from Stand by Me and Star Trek, but when I saw you on the Screensavers on Tech TV (RIP), I knew I had to find and follow your blog. Between you and Dooce, you got me through some rough times in my life. I fully agree with your opinion of Twitter, and like you, I cannot seem to tear myself away from it. I don’t block nearly as many people as you, but then I am just a a guy with only about a hundred followers.
This life isn’t getting any easier and none of us are getting out of here alive, be kind, it’s chaos out there. Carry on, many of us depend on you to be a beacon of sanity.
I’m going to repeat what I’ve been saying for quite a few years now, ” We are over communicated and under socialized” Keep up the awesome work my friend!
Will Wheron I just have to say that you seem like a lovely human being. I have only just started to reading your blog and so far I love it. Also I have no idea why people found Wesley Crusher annoying maybe like one episode but most episodes he was fine. As a kid i always felt Wesley Crusher made Star Rrek more relatable, but people are weird. I’m sorry people attack you for shitty reasons. They suck
I enjoy your blog, and thank you for sharing such a sweet moment between you and your son. It startles me to think you have a son that old, but I guess I still think of you as much younger. Even when I see you on tv, like TBBT, you still look young to me. Thank you for keeping up your blog. I agree with you on Twitter, and rarely check it. The only people I follow there are celebrities, but 156 characters really just isn’t enough for me. I’m glad you share what you do, and I’m glad for your blog too. Have a great day!
Sir,
I’ve been a huge fan of yours for some time (since, I was a young kid and watched Stand By Me and Star Trek), and I’ve always loved reading your thoughts, reviews, and reflections. And I, in my small, uncelebrity way, understand your struggle with social media, especially Twitter. I’m sick of it. I joined Mastodon (which you joined and abandoned, though I still follow that moribund account!), but other than that, I just don’t.
I don’t know, maybe I’ll shift to blogging in a controllable environment like you are here. I understand why you took several steps back, but I’m glad for what you do say things. You always promote a humanity. We are living in a society that is treating kindness more and more as a sin, so the simple stories of your experience are . . . well, they help.
Take as many steps back as you need for yourself and your family. But we’ll all be waiting for you.
Thanks for sharing the beautiful story about your son, and for being you, and putting yourself out there in ways that are comfortable to you!
How do I follow your blog? I looked for a “follow” link and couldn’t find it.
Hmm.. not sure! I’ll look into it, thanks for letting me know.
Thanks for the inspiration. Deleted my Twitter account. Never – going – back. There’s some great people there, but it’s a forum for the Horrible too, and enabled the election of the worst person in the world to the office of the President. It’s bad. It’s time for Twitter to expire.
Wil, you are a thoughtful writer and I’ve been reading your blog since I had to go through infusion treatments 8 years ago. You even introduced me to W00tstock, which was awesome to attend. Please keep on keeping on. You are honestly trying to be the good in the world.
You made the right choice. The social media grid is just overflowing with garbage. I’m glad to be leaving it too!
The internet is crazy. I watched The Last Star fighter with my two boys tonight. The graphics are still cheesy but the story is fun and I smiled during the movie the same way I did as a teen. I wanted to see what happened to the lead actor via IMDB and as I looked in the credits I saw this kid my age from Star Trek had a role in the movie and his bio led me to this site (out of curiousity) where I read a really heartfelt home page. Life is indeed full of ups and downs. I got divorced after 18 years last year. Crazy story not going to post on some random blog but I felt compelled to comment it was touching to see the connection you made with those boys despite what sounds like a complete A hole trying to disrupt it all the way. No matter how low you get there will always be a powerful moment like star gazing in your living room if you have a good heart and try to do the right things in life. Thanks for the story.
Your words have made a difference in many people’s life, just as your actions have with your sons. You have helped me through the years, as well. When I lost my job and struggled to find a new one, your words of frustration and anger at not finding a job were mine. It helped more than you know. To know I was not the only one who was struggling with the humiliation and anger helped more than you can imagine. You kept trying, and that made me feel I was not doing it alone, and could do it also. I do not have your gift of writing, nor your bravery in telling the world of my struggles, but your sharing was a message that I was not alone in my struggles and a strengthening of my resolve.
Your writings here have helped me, as I am sure it has done to several others, and I am sure they will for others in the future when they read your words. In small ways you have made some of our lives that much easier and for that we are thankful. As for the Twitter issues, all I can do is quote John Wayne in his words to Barbra Walters. Don’t let the bastards get you down.
It’s been a long time since i’ve commented here…I remember what drew me to your blog in the first place and it still holds true…You are a good man Wil Wheaton…And you write from the heart…It is hard to let go of the hurt…and maybe we shouldn’t let go of all of it…Because it can be the thing that drives us to do good…Anyway…when i think of you i remember the good…In world full of falseness and contradictions…there is still plenty of good…And that is the thing we must come back to.
Wil – I started reading your blog in the early 2000s, and it was one of the few blogs (along with Neil Gaiman’s) that I read on a regular basis. What kept me coming back was your honesty, humanity, and personal realness – I felt like if we had actually known each other IRL we could be friends. I purchased some of your books, and just last year I had you sign one at the Salt Lake Comic Con. I have appreciated getting to watch your journey from afar. I’m sorry that the world is what it is and that those personal glimpses can’t play a part in your writing like they once did, and I understand completely your decisions in this matter. But please just know that even with all the jackasses and blowhards out there, there are many, many people who appreciate the person you are and the things you’ve shared with the world. Thanks, friend Wil, for being a voice that many of us have enjoyed hearing and reading for many years.
“Well, if that’s the way it is done, then that’s the way you must do it”
Although the odd short ‘Wil done a thing of interest’ post won’t go amiss
And cheers for you
Wil, thank you for your lovely story. This might sound crazy, but you are my hero. When I think of the person that I want to be, I think of Wil Wheaton. I am.a teacher and I know that a positive comment doesn’t cancel out a negative one, but I gotta try. With love.