captured here in my quotation marks

Almost two years ago, I was inspired by all the kids riding bikes in Stranger Things to write a post about a thing that happened when I was the same age as those kids (12 in 1983), and I was riding my bike with my friends.

While I worked on that blog post, other memories from the same time began to percolate up through the thick dried crust that the decades had built up over them, and I started to get this idea … what if I took all these things that happened from like 1982 through 1984, and I used them and the kids who were there as inspiration for a short story? It seemed like a decent idea, so I got to work on it. As I approached ten thousand words, I discovered that there was a lot more story left to tell, so I decided to let it keep on going until it became a novella. When it got there, I still wasn’t done, so I kept going until it was an actual novel.

I ended up calling it All We Ever Wanted Was Everything, because I’m terrible at making up my own titles, and if you look at all of my books, you’ll notice that they are almost always titled after lyrics. It’s a semi-autobiographical work of fiction, about coming of age in the summer of 1983, told by the writer who is revisiting his childhood. Writing it has been one of the most rewarding and satisfying experiences of my entire creative life, even though I got so depressed after the election in 2016, I took almost nine months off from writing it (and doing much of anything creative).

I picked it back up earlier this year, and I began working on it, intensely, every day. It gave me a sense of purpose, creative satisfaction, and the hope that, maybe before too long, I could honestly call myself a novelist. Some days were easier than others, but even on the most challenging day, I never felt like giving up. I never even felt the absolute conviction, which I always feel at some point in a manuscript, that it was the worst thing ever and I was a damn fool for thinking I could write the story. The day I typed THE END for the first time was pretty special, even though I knew it was really just the beginning of the real work, which was the rewrite.

As a lot of you know, we had to vacate our house because of black mold this summer. While we were away, I worked on the rewrites, and as a result I spent much of my summer in my narrator’s version of the summer of 1983, which was pretty awesome. In no small way, working on this story got me through what could have been a not super awesome time.

So.

About three weeks ago, I finished a revision and realized that it was as good as I could make it on my own, and it was time to turn it in to my editor. He took his Red Pen of Doom to it, and sent it back about two weeks ago. It’s been sitting on my computer desktop, looking at me every day while I carefully avoided it, because I was afraid that his notes were going to say some version of, “I know you worked hard on this for a long time, but it’s all crap and here’s why.” Well, I opened it today and got to work on it. I am relieved to report that his notes do not say that. They mostly say some version of, “you don’t need this, and you are getting in the adult narrator’s way, while he tries to stay out of his own way and tell his story. Here’s how you can make this stronger…”

I don’t know how other writers and editors work, but we do this thing where I give him the manuscript, he opens itin LibreOffice, suggests changes and puts in notes that explain why he suggested them, and then he sends it back to me. I go through it, change by change, and accept the changes, respond to the notes, add new stuff as needed, and then send it back. Typically, we’ll do this three or four times before we’re finished.

This time, because he warned me he’d made some deep cuts, I just accepted all the changes at once, then started reading the changed manuscript, to find out if I really missed anything, or felt like something I wanted to fight for had been cut out. Well, it turns out that I didn’t miss anything, and his cuts made the narrative much stronger. I figured we’d end up cutting ten percent, and we only ended up cutting about six percent. That tells me that I did a better job with the draft I turned in than I thought. That note about getting out of the way is a really good one; I see lots of places where I was self-conscious and unsure, so I made the narrator explain himself in places where I should have just let him tell his story. There is literally a single paragraph that I want to fight for, but even as I have thought about fighting for it, I secretly (well, secretly until now) believe that it doesn’t have to be there and nobody will miss it once it’s gone, if we end up cutting it.

While I worked today, I was surprised to notice that I had been missing the characters I created and lived with for so long. I got to again experience that sense of meaningful satisfaction that I had been enjoying every day while I worked on the first draft and its revisions (even on the days when I felt like the words just didn’t want to flow together). I got to get excited and terrified about this novel being really close to finished, and that much closer to being read by real people in the real world.

There’s still some tough work to do. I still need to rewrite the ending (the very fair note on the current ending is “it just … sort of … ends, and you’ve earned a better ending than this one. Go find it.”) and I’m genuinely unsure how to pull that off, but it’s one of those things that I know will be super obvious, right after I metaphorically drag myself over broken glass to find it. But this is the work I want to do. This is what I want and need to be doing with my life, and it feels reasonably good to both know that, and be able to do it.

Have a good weekend, everyone. I hope you get to spend it with awesome people who make you happy.

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134 thoughts on “captured here in my quotation marks”

    1. I don’t know for Bauhaus, but Wil gets +1 million internet points for the clever Elvis Costello reference.

  2. Yay, Wil! I’m so excited about your novel and I can’t wait to read it. Enjoy the post-novel-writing glow!

  4. Sounds like you are using your newly found free time away from social media to get some creative work done. Good for you! I quit Facebook back in April and it’s amazing the amount of time I have had to read tons of new books and be inspired and energized at my new job. Can’t wait to read your novel once it’s finished!

  5. Hooray!!! How wonderful to read about the satisfaction you get from writing! Thanks for sharing of your joy!!

  6. Wil, I’ve been a huge fan since your Star Trek days. I would be thrilled to read your novel once it comes out.

    I have a few questions about how you wrote in your sessions. Did you sit down and free-write what came to mind, then polish it afterwards? Did you work off a proverbial skeleton first, then flesh it out?

    1. It started out very free form, because I knew where the blog post ended. But once it started taking on its own life, I knew I needed to at least have some broad outline, so I knew what landmarks I was going to connect with the narrative. I also had to figure out what the whole book was really about, which was a whole other challenge. Once I had the first draft finished, I felt like it was the skeleton that I could do the work on turning into a real boy.

      1. Awesome! I have to say that I’m nerding out having Wil Wheaton respond to me! I have long read your posts, but today was the first day I commented.

        For me, I liken the first draft to a massive dump after constipation of a few days. It feels like it hurts to hell, as if your insides are going to follow that brown musket ball into the bowl, but the relief at the end is palpable.

        Okay, on to finish my lunch. 😉

        1. My friend Amy calls that first draft the puke draft, because you just puke up every idea and thought you have, and then you can get to work on turning them into a story.

  7. Every time I write a blog post or a poem or a story, I feel like it just…ends. I’m terrible at endings. I hate endings. (On the other hand, I’m very good at coming up with titles. I have so many titles for potential stories, more than I will probably ever use.)

    This is a great post and I’m excited to read All We Ever Wanted Was Everything (that’s so much to type!–you couldn’t have gone with Double Dare or Spirit or even Kick in the Eye?) when you release it. Have a great weekend, Wil!

  8. If it ever gets published, I reserve the right to read it with Richard Dreyfus’s voice narration!!!

  10. “the very fair note on the current ending is ‘it just … sort of … ends, and you’ve earned a better ending than this one. Go find it.’ ”

    Without having ready your book, sometimes great stories end abruptly, leaving unanswered questions. The final sentence of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Movies too. If you’ve ever seen the Coen brothers film “A Serious Man”, the movie ends on a couple big question marks, but the whole package still works.

  11. My husband and I grew up in the 70s and 80s. Heck, we met in 1985 and one of the reasons we love Stranger Things so much (beyond the fact that it is simply awesome) is the nostalgia. I am very much looking forward to reading your novel, knowing that it is set in that same time period, knowing that it is inspired by your own growing up in that decade, and how much I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read on your blog over the years.

  13. Congratulations on your new “baby.” I’m jealous that you found your way to a story, and actually found your way to tell it. Re endings; ask someone, if you don’t know, about Jane Austin endings. yikes. And she was really good, y’know? 😀 I don’t remember if I’ve ever commented before, but I’ve long appreciated that you try to share some reality, in a good way. There’s not enough reality-in-a-good-way out there. Be well.

  15. I get to spend my weekend going Taylor Swift Saturday night then game Sunday with friends!

  16. I enjoyed reading that, Wil. My experience of you as an author is that you’re deliberate in your craft. I feel like you care about the details and your audience’s experience.

    Today we took a break from a game we’re writing to play a boardgames based on the BYOA series. I shared with our team that we got to experience you reading a CYOA on JoCo 2017 and that I got to choose an ending and we didn’t all die. Ha!

    PS I don’t know if you still have the Danielle’s Inferno bookmark I gave you on the cruise but that game has a lot of Wil Wheaton references in it which is why it meant a lot to give that to you. Cheers and I’m going to take our first break in months this weekend to play games and laugh a lot.

    😊

    1. Scalzi wrote a post on his blog a few months ago about experiencing the same thing, and it made me feel a little less broken.

      1. Wil, I doubt you were even in the minority as to your feelings after the 2016 election. I felt like not doing anything except curling into a ball after that myself. Fortunately, my work at the time was not a creative or cerebral type, so I was able to keep going and earn a living.
        Anyway, like the others commenting here, I look forward to seeing this creation of you mind, heart and life experience. Also, keep on punching Nazis.

  20. Love the title and I can’t wait to read your book! Wishing you and yours a wonderful weekend!

  22. I don’t know if you are familiar with Scott Sigler, but he uses the podcast audio read of his books as his final polish. Reading it carefully out loud can make issues obvious that normal reading misses. Especially if you are intimately familiar with the work.
    Just a thought. Also a Sigler’s stuff is amazing.

  24. Very excited. Your way with the words is special and being a fellow creative I love your talk of the process. Helps me to no end. Thank you

  25. You will find the ending and it will be different than you expected and always, always better than you hoped. I cannot wait to read this because you are one of my favourite writers and you have been since waaaaay before you could pick me out of a crowd.

    Now, write, rewrite and kick it in the ass! waves pompoms, cheers under a sign that says YOU GOT THIS, WHEATON!

  26. I’m very excited to read! But in lieu of reading it I would be even more excited to listen to it as an audiobook that unary did! I’m not sure if you would feel comfortable doing that but if you did I would absolutely pay mega mega full price for it!

    do not let the brain weasels get to you! You’re doing a great job and I’m sure it’s going to be brilliant:)

  27. Bravo! Wil, I just wish I could have told you in person that not only are you a GOOD actor, but a fine writer on top of it. I love both Dancing Barefoot and Just A Geek book and keep them by my bed for a pick me up. I really look forward to” All I Ever Wanted” and what you end up doing at the end.

  28. I am so very happy for you. You’re a good man, trying to make the world a better place in your own small way, and I am so glad this project is bringing you such joy. I’m looking forward to buying it when it comes out.

  29. Also, as an aside, figuring out titles is THE WOOOOOOOORST! I swear, 80% of my stories are titled by the last damn thing that sounded vaguely good before I hit post or save. Just ‘this assemblage of words sounds fine HERE WE GO” and then I regret them for years.

  30. Sounds like you have a magnificent editor. Can’t wait to read the book. Well done, sir.

  31. Wil, I’ve been a lurker on here for years and after your last post I was worried you wouldn’t be blogging anymore. I’m so glad to see a new post from you today! Your writing is beautiful and I find it insightful and inspiring, and I appreciate your generosity in sharing your thoughts.

    I also wanted to mention, in light of your last post, that I’m so sorry you’ve been such a target on social media. But I wanted to tell you about my 10 year old son, who is today, 30 years after it debuted, watching Star Trek: The Next Generation for the first time. And he loves Wesley. He sees himself in Wesley, a child amongst adults struggling to figure out himself and the world around him. Seeing your portrayal of Wesley helps my D&D loving, game loving, LARPing loving, coding loving, boy feel like he’s ok. And in a world where most people seem to want to make others feel very much not ok, that is a balm.

    You’ve done a large amount of good for the world through just being yourself, and that will carry on as long as little boys and girls turn on that show and see the dignity you brought to the character of a child growing up out in the stars.

    Can’t wait to read your book!

  33. I am so very much looking forward to reading this book when it gets published. I know I will love it !!!

  34. I am very much looking forward to reading your book, and I wish you the very best in both future books and acting jobs. You are an excellent actor AND an excellent writer, so I hope you have great success with both. Life seems to go in cycles, and it throws curveballs. So there is no reason to believe that the future has to be anything like the past. Bestest of luck, Wil.

  35. I’ve been meaning to leave a comment after your last few posts, but my words of encouragement never came out right. But this time I think I’ve got it.
    I follow many people on social medias and blogs, some you know, some you don’t. I don’t read all their posts, but I ALWAYS take the time to read yours…
    Thanks for sharing with us.

  36. Dear Wil
    I just read in the AV Club that you are now permanently not going to be on Twitter. That makes me very sad. You were one of my favorite voices and I have always loved your work and your courageous honesty. Given you report so much negativity on social media – I just thought I would let you that this old feminist Australian barrister thinks you are a wonderful human being.
    Best wishes to you and your family
    Rachel

  37. Hi Wil, replying here to your “world a terrible place” post. Let me preface this by saying that I really hated your character on TNG, but never bothered to even remember your name until you appeared on The Big Bang Theory, where you seemed like a chill enough dude who can take a joke. You were actually quite funny.

    With this in mind, it makes me sad that you seem to feel the need to be defensive and apologetic towards a hate mob obsessed with you not unllike a pack of hungry sharks is obsessed with a struggling swimmer with a punctured artery. Understand that you cannot reason with sharks when there is blood in the water.

    Hate mobs on social media have taken the gamification of everything on the web to one of its logical conclusions. They collect the scalps of their enemies. The more famous, the more points. You’re pretty well known, so these people see you like a boss in an MMORPG that has to be defeated for fame and XP. Coordinated raids are to be expected. Past experience has shown them that if they gang up, they can bring down giants. The high score is obviously getting you sacked or destroying your real life in another lasting way. If they can’t get their legendary win, they will settle for the consolation prize of making you miserable.

    You should be old enough to have seen the early days of the internet. Wanna know why it was better? Because communities where people connected and posted their opinions were much more diverse, people sought them out because of shared interests, not because it presented them with a platform to talk to the whole world at once and maybe become famous with a witty, cutting remark in the feed of someone with enough followers to matter and to continually virtue signal their identification with $moralhighgroundideology. These communities were also operated and moderated by members with a vested interested in keeping it a fun and civil place, not barely legal bait for some brilliant anti-user monetization strategy.

    These communities still exist. The best of them IMO are pseudonymous. It doesn’t matter who you are IRL, what matters is what you have to say. You still can be held accountable by mods and admins and you have a reputation, but this can be wholly independent from your IRL self. You can be someone else on the net, you don’t have to be the famous dude.

    Your decision to leave antisocial media was a good one. If you want meaningful interactions on the net, maybe come up with a handle that only your actual friends know about and seek out the smaller, independent communities where writing posts has more meaning than struggling for 15 minutes of fame in 140 characters or less. Hell, even reddit or any like forum with a karma system/active mods will do. You’ll find that even though basically anonymous, people are much more civil there. Obviously you would not enjoy celeb bonus and your content will have to be able to stand on its own. You might enjoy it though.

  38. Can’t wait to read it, love the things you make – also super awesome seeing you painting happy little trees 🙂
    Keep doing the things that make you happy!

  39. Wil,

    What splendid symbiosis there seems to be between you and your editor. He sounds remarkably careful and attuned to you as a writer, and you are wonderfully open to his suggestions. It takes a lot of faith and courage to accept all the revisions without reviewing them and to read through the manuscript with a trusting mind. Kudos to you!

    Like everyone here, I am eager to read your novel.

    Ruth

  40. Wil I’ve enjoyed hearing about your writing Journey and this update was no different. Thanks for sharing. I think I’m going to enjoy this older style web experience of checking a blog so I don’t miss the positive experience that hearing your voice is.

  42. Your ending is in the breath you take in a quiet moment.

    Really excited to read your novel!

    Peace and Love

  44. OMG I always use lyrics as titles too! I thought it was just me! You’ve made me feel better about that. I’m excited to read this Wil. And your editor sounds like a dream. I’m about a chapter off finishing my first draft of my first novel so I’m a way off finding an editor yet but hopefully I’ll find one who gets me as much as yours seems to get you. Have a great weekend. You’ve earned it.

  45. Wil, I love you, man.
    I hope this is the first thing you see today.

    I. Love. You.
    Stay strong!

  46. Your enthusiasm for this project is infectious—I can’t wait to read it!

    Oh, and don't forget, once you've locked down that ending---if you still find you miss spending time with the characters you've created, there's always the sequel!

    Bravo and congrats!

  47. Can’t wait to read it! I’m an ’80s kid too and already feeling nostalgic just thinking about the memories the story will no doubt stir for me. 🙂

  48. Really happy for you and looking forward to reading it. I just read Dead Trees Give No Shelter on a long train trip last week and even though I am not a big fan of thrillers I found it gripping and it made the time fly.

    I have enjoyed reading about the creative process you have been going through as well. It has been fascinating to experience this along side you and your other readers. Thank you for sharing it with us.

  50. Reading your blog is always a highlight in my day so the possibility of reading a whole book?! Wow!

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