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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

The world is a terrible place right now, and that’s largely because it is what we make it.

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Marlowe Wheaton is adorable.
Here’s a picture of Marlowe to make this post suck less.

As most of you know, I deactivated my Twitter account earlier this month. It had been a long time coming, for a whole host of reasons, but Twitter’s decision to be the only social network that gives Alex Jones a platform to spew hate, hurt innocent people, and incite violence was the final straw for me. But I haven’t regretted leaving for even one second. Having that endless stream of hate and anger and negativity in my pocket wasn’t good for me (and I don’t think it’s good for anyone, to be honest).

I was on Twitter from just about the very beginning. I think I’m in the first couple thousand accounts. I remember when it was a smallish group of people who wanted to have fun, make jokes, share information and tips on stuff that was interesting, and oh so many pictures of our pets. It was awesome.

It started to get toxic slowly at first, then all at once, starting with the misogynist dipshits who were behing the gate-which-shall-not-be-named. That was clearly a turning point for Twitter, and it never really recovered from it. I watched, in real time, as the site I loved turned into a right wing talk radio shouting match that made YouTube comments and CSPAN call-ins seem scholarly. We tried for a couple of years to fight back, to encourage Twitter to take a stand against bad actors (HA HA LIKE ME BECAUSE I AM A BAD ACTOR RIGHT YOU GOT ME HA HA HA). Twitter doesn’t care about how its users are affected by themselves, though. Twitter cares about growth and staying on the good side of President Shitler’s tantrums.

I mean, honestly, the most lucid and concise indictment I can give Twitter is: it’s the service that Donald Trump uses to communicate with and incite his cultists.

Anyway, enough about how terrible Twitter is. We all know how terrible it is. That’s never going to change, by the way.I know some very good people who are working on making Twitter better, but I honestly don’t think they can overcome the institutional inertia that has allowed it to get to the point its at now. It may get incrementally better, but the fundamental problem of random, mostly-anonymous people being terrible isn’t going to change, because that’s not a Twitter problem. That’s a humanity — and specifically a social media — problem.

I thought that if I left Twitter, I could find a new social network that would give it some competition (Twitter’s monopoly on the social space is a big reason it can ignore people who are abused and harassed, while punishing people for reporting their attackers), so I fired up this account I made at Mastodon a long time ago.

I thought I’d find something different. I thought I’d find a smaller community that was more like Twitter was way back in 2008 or 2009. Cat pictures! Jokes! Links to interesting things that we found in the backwaters of the internet! Interaction with friends we just haven’t met, yet! What I found was … not that.

I found a harsh reality that I’m still trying to process: thousands of people who don’t know me, who have never interacted with me, who internalized a series of lies about me, who were never willing to give me a chance. I was harassed from the minute I made my account, and though I expected the “shut up wesley”s and “go fuck yourself”s to taper off after a day or so, it never did. And even though I never broke any rules on the server I joined (Mastodon is individual “instances” which is like a server, which connects to the “federated timeline”, which is what all the other servers are), one of its admins told me they were suspending my account, because they got 60 (!) reports overnight about my account, and they didn’t want to deal with the drama.

I respect and support that person’s decision, because it’s a private server and it’s run with their time, energy, attention, and (presumably) money. I don’t agree with it at all, and I think it’s deeply unfair, as well as rewarding abuse of a reporting system that’s meant to protect users, but it’s their site and it’s their rules, and I can’t say I blame them. The people going after me were pretty awful, and I can only imagine that an admin would get fed up with them, too.

I want to share the message I posted there when I left (Twitter is called ‘birdsite’ on Mastodon):

I have been notified by an Admin here that they are getting 60 reports a day about my account. As far as I can tell, I’m not breaking any rules, and I’ve done my best to be a good person here. But this admin is going to suspend my account.

It’s the Admin’s instance, so I fully support their choice to eliminate a source of frustration, but something to consider: a person who is doing nothing wrong can be run off one instance by a mob from another instance. That seems … not cool. 1/x

But it’s been made very, very clear to me that I am not welcome in the Fediverse, and I hear you. I hoped to find an alternative to the birdsite where I could find the same fun community that existed over there in the beginning, and it’s clear to me that I won’t be finding that. Before I leave, I want to just make something very clear, because I’ve spent most of my life being yelled at by people who don’t know me at all, and I want the record to be clear. 2/x

During GamerGate, I was dogpiled and mobbed and brigaded and attacked by thousands of accounts. I started using a blocklist that was supposed to help stop that. I did not know that the blocklist I signed up for also had a lot of trans women on it. When I found out, I did everything I could to remove those women from the list I shared. When there were still innocents on the list, I stopped sharing the list entirely. Despite this, a mob has decided that I’m anti-trans. 3/x

This lie that I am anti-trans, or anti-LGBQ, is deeply hurtful to me (I know it’s nothing like the pain LGBTQ people deal with every day, as they simply try to *exist* in a world that treats them so badly, but it is still hurtful in its own way to me). I just want to make it extremely clear: that is a lie, and the people spreading it are misinformed.

So I’m leaving the Fediverse, which has treated me with more cruelty, vitriol, hatred, and contempt than than anyone on the birdsite ever did. 4/x

I know that I’m well-off, well-known, and as a CIS white hetro dude in America, I live life on the lowest difficulty setting. I know that I have very little to complain about.  But I still have feelings, and I really do care about the world and the people in it. What I see is a lot of anger and cruelty directed at the IDEA of me, from people who I just hope don’t realize that it really does hurt me, in my heart, to be accused of being someone I am not, and to be the target of a hateful mob. 5/x

Anyway, take your victory lap and collect your prizes. You’ve made it clear that I’m not welcome here, and even though I disagree with the action this Admin is taking (banning me when I didn’t break any rules doesn’t seem right), I respect and support the Admin’s decision to run their instance the way they see fit.

Please do your very best to be kind to each other. The world is a terrible place right now, and that’s largely because it is what we make it.

Bye.

6/end

This isn’t limited to Mastodon.cloud (the worst attacks and dogpiling came from a few other instances before the instance I was on became awful) and it isn’t limited to Twitter.com. I see this in the online space all the time now: mobs of people, acting in bad faith, can make people they don’t know and will likely never meet miserable, or even try to ruin their lives and careers (look at what they did to James Gunn). And those mobs’ bad behaviors are continually rewarded, because it’s honestly easier to just give them what they want. We are ceding the social space to bad people, because they have the most time, the least morals and ethics, and are skilled at relentlessly attacking and harassing their targets. It only takes few seconds for one person to type “fuck off” and hit send. That person probably doesn’t care and doesn’t think about how their one grain of sand quickly becomes a dune, with another person buried beneath it. That’s a huge problem that seems to be baked into social media, and I tried to mitigate it with a blocklist that I never intended to be problematic, but ultimately was. (And for what it’s worth, the part of me that wants to apologize to the people who ended up on it by mistake is overwhelmed by the part of me who was attacked really viciously by a lot of those people and feels like maybe blocking them wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.)

At the end of the day, I’m lucky and privileged as fuck. I can sign off from a website (or multiple websites), and go live my life with my amazing family and our dogs. I’m not a marginalized person who has to fight every moment of every day, just to live my life. So I’m keeping that in mind and keeping that perspective in my heart. Yes, the accusations and the big lie that took hold in remarkably short time about me is hurtful. Yes, it’s upsetting to know that there are a lot of people out there who have decided to take time out of their lives to actively hate me, without knowing anything about me other than a story they were told by someone else who doesn’t know me. But I can sign off and get away from it, so I will. And I will be grateful that I can.

Buuuuuuuuuut … I’m done with social media. Maybe I just don’t fit into whatever the social media world is. I mean, the people who are all over the various Mastodon instances made it really clear that I wasn’t welcome there (with a handful of notable, joyful, exceptions, mostly related to my first baby steps into painting), and it seems as if I was just unwelcome because … I’m me? I guess? Like, I know that I’m not a transphobe, but holy shit that lie just won’t die, and right now as I am writing this, someone at Mastodon is telling me that I am, because people said so, and I should apologize to them. I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that, when it happens over and over and over again? “You’ve been lied to about me. Please give me a chance” just doesn’t seem like a viable way forward with people who are, for whatever reason, very, very angry. And these people seem to have an idea of me in their head that doesn’t fit with the idea of myself that I have in my head. It’s honestly caused me to rethink a lot of stuff. Like, am I really the terrible person they say I am? I don’t think I am, but I’m doing my best to listen, and when I say, “please stop yelling at me and let’s have a conversation that I can grow from” I get yelled at for “tone policing” and honestly I just get exhausted and throw up my hands. Maybe I’m not this person they tell me I am, but I represent that person in their heads, and they treat me accordingly? This is one of those times when my mental illness makes it very hard for me to know what’s objective reality and what’s just in my head.

But I don’t deserve to be treated so terribly by so many random people, so I’m not going to put myself in a place where I am subjected to it all day long. As the saying goes, I’m too old for this shit. What we used to call microblogging isn’t worth the headache for me. I’m gonna focus my time and my energy on the things that I love, that make me happy, that support my family.

Please do your best to be kind, and make an effort to make the world less terrible. Thanks for listening.

Comments have been closed on this post.

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29 August, 2018 Wil

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captured here in my quotation marks → ← regarding the kindness of strangers.

406 thoughts on “The world is a terrible place right now, and that’s largely because it is what we make it.”

  1. Scott Little says:
    30 August, 2018 at 6:04 am

    Wil,

    This really sucks and is too bad. I haven’t been on any of the mastodon sites, but didn’t think that it would be like this. I have also given up on twitter, but have been using a service called http://micro.blog, that is well maintained and has good policies about everything (openness of the content, you own it and can always get it and they designed the site to particularly diminish exactly this type of behavior.

    I know that you said you are off social media, but you might want to give it a look.

    Scott

    1. Tim Vanbenschoten says:
      30 August, 2018 at 10:15 am

      micro.blog is fantastic.

      1. Mingo Hagen says:
        30 August, 2018 at 3:43 pm

        One more vote for micro.blog! I think it’s right up your alley Wil.

  2. Rachel Unger says:
    30 August, 2018 at 6:26 am

    That sounds awful – I’m sorry that it wasn’t what you’d hoped. I’m glad you post here. I think you present a kind, understanding outlook. You re-evaluate when you could be in the wrong, when a lot of people just double down. I think you advocate for doing and being better humans. That’s good and valuable work. Thank you for that.
    You started painting? That’s cool. This may sound silly – but do you watch Bob Ross?

  3. Sietske van Vugt says:
    30 August, 2018 at 6:27 am

    I’m so sorry to hear this, you really don’t deserve all the the shit thrown at you 🙁
    I do hope you’ll keep on posting here, even if it’s just posts with your painting efforts (loved those over the last couple of days!) or dog pictures 😉

  4. N. Harrison Ripps says:
    30 August, 2018 at 6:45 am

    Mastodon started feeling a lot like Twitter all of a sudden. It became abundantly clear this week that in a system where people can pile onto a shit brigade across federated platforms, it actually doesn’t matter how one of those instances is administered versus another. It’s essentially all one platform, and it’s broken the same way Twitter is, but without centralized governance.

    Personally I’d prefer to despise you for being a successful blogger. What the hell, Wil.

  5. najodleglejszy says:
    30 August, 2018 at 6:48 am

    oh man, it looks like you just can’t catch a break. I’m sorry that you’ve been treated by the trolls of the fediverse the way you have, you don’t deserve that.

  6. Martin says:
    30 August, 2018 at 6:53 am

    There are those that have made up their minds and once it’s been made, they stop thinking and start reacting. What? That guy said a thing? he must be stoned to death! yeah. thats why I never went on the bird site and, if it wasn’t the way I keep in touch with family on the other side of the state, I’d leave freindface, too. Social media, for the worse, has become anti-social media.
    Be well.

  7. Ferdi Zebua says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:00 am

    Hi Wil. And again, very sorry for what happened.

    And this most certainly will not make up for what happen, will not right all the wrong that has happened, but many on the Mastoverse and on the Fediverse in general still do continue to support you.

    I doubt you would have caught sight of the following since you’ve been (imo very unceremoniously) booted from Mastodon.cloud, so I’m sharing this link here so that you might perhaps read it and find a little bit more positive from what happened. The following from one Woozle Hypertwin (posted on her private Hubzilla instance):

    “…and in some ways, Mastodon isn’t much better” [hub.iseeamess.com]

  8. jodie says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:03 am

    I am sorry this has happened. I just wanted to let you know that I have admired your work and well… you. (I hope this didn’t come off as stalkerish as it does in my head). I’m sorry that you are receiving so much hate from those who do not know you.

    Your last sentence reminds me of a quote from a book called Wonder…

    “If every person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary – the world really would be a better place. And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God.”
    ― R.J. Palacio, Wonder

  9. oogiecatt says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:07 am

    Bullying suks, I am sorry to hear you are the recipient of such treatment. This world does seem a like a terrible place right now and I hate that a man that I have despised for decades is running this country into the ground and taking us down with him. It is hard to stay positive a lot of times but if I don’t I will be right there being uber angry and trolling and taking myself down that rabbit hole. I hope you won’t disappear, we need good people like you out there to keep making a difference, and you Do make a difference. I get taking care of yourself, we all must do so or we will burn out and crash, and I do not wish that to happen. If you disappear to take care of you and yours, do so with our blessings (like you need it). we get it. oh boy, do we get it. IF you are able to stay with us and help fight the good fight that would be wonderful, we need all the help we can get right now. Go if you must, stay if you will…BB in all you do. Thank You for making a difference.

  10. S. J. Pajonas (spajonas) says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:15 am

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. For what it’s worth, I’ve been a fan of you for a very long time (okay, since my teens! And I’m in my 40s now) and I’m on social media and I totally missed a lot of this bullshit being thrown at you. So I’m going to guess it hasn’t impacted nearly as many of your fans as you may think, mostly because you are being bombarded. So, big hugs. Definitely have a nice cleansing walk with your dogs and lovely wife. You don’t need that kind of social media. (Though I’m enjoying your Instagram so I hope that stays an okay place!)

  11. Chris says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:17 am

    I’m sorry you’re getting abused by the vocal minority. It seems to be the way of the world now.

  12. Phedrang says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:23 am

    People are such assholes. Especially on social media. I’ve never heard of Mastadon before or Fediverse. But just this week I heard about two local people right now who are going through what just happened to you. Their social circles, jobs, and community are being affected by mob mentality on social media by people who don’t know them, know nothing about any circumstances but are just joining a band wagon. If anyone defends them they are also being attacked. I stopped using the bird site too since the election and have quit all social groups on facebook. I don’t miss any of it. I decided this year I’m not going to do anything unless it makes me happy and makes me some money. You are right, your life is full of joy and things to do and wonderful people. Keep being you Wil. Please keep writing your blog and doing your regular artistic expressive things. I look forward to seeing more of your writing and your acting. You have a huge fan base and just know that for every hater, you got a ton more supporters.

  13. tobi says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:27 am

    Dammit! When a friend convinced me to come try Mastodon a few weeks ago, I said, “I’ll give it a try, but as much as I WANT to believe it will be better, it’s still humans and I guarantee we’ll manage to screw it up.” I just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.

    I’m really sorry this happened. Thank you as always for your transparency and vulnerability.

  14. Anna Cole says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:35 am

    You’re doing the right thing. I’m sorry you can’t interact with people on social media, but it turns out you can’t. It’s not your fault; people just really are collectively awful. I’ll miss you on Twitter, but Twitter is indeed so many kind of terrible. Thanks for putting your thoughts into the world , one way or another.

  15. Chad Alan says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:44 am

    Wil, you could give Ello another chance. And there is still minds.com. Minds is full of people kicked off the Twitters but they aren’t as bad as you are describing. I was FORCED to give up on Twitter. I was banned because I was arguing with Trumpers and they collectively reported me. It was interesting. I got a 24 suspension. Then, as soon as that was over, I went to post and was hit with a 2 day ban, then it happened again, A WEEK! Then I got a message from Twitter saying I was being banned for “harassment or trying to limit another’s speech.” How is being mass reported and silenced by trolls and THEN Twitter NOT limiting MY speech? But, I digress, the social media-verse is full of shitty people that are abusing reporting algorithms and harassing people that say things that they don’t like. The rules for social media seem to be “Speak with one voice with the political establishment or BE SILENT!”

  16. YWP says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:45 am

    I don’t miss you on social media…

    Because I don’t follow any celebs on any platform – but I do miss your writing a great deal when you’re not blogging!!! Please keep going with the typing and the posting and the wit, because when I get an email saying you’ve posted I smile a little, I look forward to reading it, I read it, I enjoy it, and for a moment the day’s a little better. Not many people in the world have that kind of power.

    (See what I did there – I made it sound like I was being a terrible person, but actually I turned it into a heartfelt compliment. I’m pretty hilarious like that, you should probably invite me over for tea…)

  17. A.J. says:
    30 August, 2018 at 7:56 am

    “I’m gonna focus my time and my energy on the things that I love, that make me happy, that support my family.” – Man, I wish everyone had this attitude. So much of the problems on the Internet would go away and it would be a good place again. I’m lucky enough to be a total nobody on Twitter, so it’s still a fun place for me, since the Twitterverse leaves me alone. But as soon as it’s not fun, I’ll be following your example and booting it.

    Speaking of your art, I LOVE what I’ve seen you post on Instagram. You point at a mountain that you painted and say “it sucks” but I look at it and say “Hey, that’s a mountain! I wish I could paint a mountain that looks that good.” It may not be what you saw in your head, but it worked for me. You also once pointed out a tree that you didn’t like. I think it was the colors that didn’t work for you? It just looked like a tree that was going through a drought to me. Again, I really liked it.

  18. Chris Pollard says:
    30 August, 2018 at 8:03 am

    So much truth in there man.

    My social media escape is still Google+. Y’know, the one they keep saying over and over that it’s ‘dead.’ It’s just lively enough for me! Sure, it still has its share of trolls and spam, but over the years I’ve interacted with some really cool people there too – none of whom I’ve ever met. And that’s my favourite part of it. There’s no family/friend drama … just a bunch of random people with similar interests. 🙂

    There is still good out there … it’s just getting harder and harder to find.

  19. Jonnie Burton says:
    30 August, 2018 at 8:15 am

    Hi Wil,

    I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions about you being a transphobe. I’m sorry for spreading that rumor– at the time it seemed reasonable because dozens of us all got blocked at once, but I can see from your posts explaining things that it wasn’t a true rumor. Thank you for taking the time to explain what happened with the block list; I hope that eventually things can get better. 🙂

    Cheers,
    Jonnie

  20. pantz says:
    30 August, 2018 at 8:18 am

    Unfortunately Wil, kind people aren’t a valuable commodity in today’s world, especially not on social media. Kindness is viewed as weakness, but hopefully that will change. You do you, buddy and just know that there are many more people in the world that respect you than the opposite.

  21. Naomi Ben-Yehuda says:
    30 August, 2018 at 8:23 am

    I’m sorry you’ve been hurt, again, STILL, by people being terrible. I’m glad you’re removing yourself from that whole arena. I think about you when you don’t post – you don’t know me, I’ve never met you, and I still send out positive energy in your direction, because you are you and I value you in the world. When the shouters get too loud, and Depression lies to you, I hope you can listen to Anne and she’ll hold on to you until you can get back out from under all the noise.

    There is something about not being watched that allows people to act on their basest impulses, I think. Sometimes that’s binge-watching horrible TV, sometimes it’s overeating, sometimes it’s stealing, and sometimes it’s treating people like garbage. It could also be that social media just attracts those who want to shout and not listen, more than those who want to converse and grow.

    Keep on being you. It’s all your fans/friends want.

  22. bjmolitor says:
    30 August, 2018 at 8:24 am

    What you’ve gone through reminds of something that Hannah Arendt said in the Origins of Totalitarianism: “Solitude requires being alone whereas loneliness shows itself most sharply in company with others.” I think what has happened to social media has borne this out. They give an illusion of connectedness, but after a while they just help us show how much we detest each other. Good idea to get away from that, especially if you’re so decent and sensitive that this actually hurts you.

    And one more thing, whenever someone bugs you with “shut up, Wesley” again: I recently had to decide whether I ought to go toe-to-toe with some pretty important people in my line of work over the handling of a bullying scandal. This was not the kind of thing that you just read about in the news, I had worked for years at the place where this had happened, I’m still in close touch with people there, and I might want to go back there eventually for family reasons. Well, strangely enough, re-watching “shut up, Wesley” felt really comforting then, made me feel that I’m not alone… Boy, what an outburst of idealism and courage by a 15-year old teenager! Whatever you think of the writing, you pulled it off superbly on screen.

    Never shut up, do the right thing!

  23. Jason Ramboz says:
    30 August, 2018 at 8:27 am

    Wil,

    Can I share the image I have of you in my head? Because that one is of a really good, kind, thoughtful guy. It’s of someone who inspired me as a kid and made me dream of flying through the stars. It’s of a guy who grew up to be someone who genuinely cares for other people — even ones he’s never met — and does his honest best to make the world a better place for them. It’s of someone who has given me hours of joy through his writing and acting. It’s of someone who can write three thousand words about washing his socks and still keep me riveted and wanting more. It’s of a guy who falls down and makes mistakes and struggles, but also tries like hell to stay positive and learn and become a better person for it. It’s of the kind of guy that I wish the world were full of.

    So for whatever it’s worth, just don’t forget that that image of you is out there, too.

    Always cheering for your success,

    — Jason

    1. FireBrightStarSoul says:
      30 August, 2018 at 8:32 am

      I am absolutely with Jason on this. Well said, and very accurate. <3

    2. alicen1derland says:
      31 August, 2018 at 1:13 pm

      Well written, Jason. I see Wil through your eyes, and yet we’ve never met. I have met Wil, and he is utterly kind, humble and charming. We need more like him, we really do.

  24. Joel says:
    30 August, 2018 at 8:43 am

    Hey, I’ve had your blog on my newsreader for a long time, but I’ve been exclusively a lurker. I don’t think I’ve commented here before, and I’ve not interacted with you on any social media at any point. So for what it’s worth, here’s my drive-by comment: I think you’re being treated unjustly. Sorry you have to deal with this crap. I enjoy reading what you write, and my general impression of you is that you’re a pretty great guy that I could be friends with if I knew you personally. Best of luck.

    1. Kate says:
      30 August, 2018 at 9:03 am

      What Joel said above. I found this blog when you posted about your struggles with anxiety and depression, and I stay for the excellent writing and your evident compassion for humanity. Sorry so much of that humanity sucks. You are doing the right things. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

  25. Paul says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:04 am

    First of all, I’m sorry this happened – to you, to anyone. You’re probably the most genuine and honest celebrity I ever followed on social media.

    Confession time: I remember watching Stand By Me with my dad when I was 9 or 10 right after it came out on VHS in 1987, and I clearly remember my dad telling me I looked like Gordie. I kind of did (congrats on aging much better than I did), so when TNG premiered later that year, that was me on the screen hopping around the galaxy, being awesome. I was a massive Trek geek in high school, and I remember falling into the “shut up Wesley” trap handed down to me from the older heads in my circle, but I shook that pretty quickly. Some of my favorite episodes have Wesley, especially older, uniformed Wesley. Life doesn’t always go as planned, sometimes you do things you regret, sometimes you have to handle consequences, sometimes adults are fallible. That’s what Wesley taught me. He aged as I aged. I have always wanted more Wesley in my Trek.

    And then I found you on Twitter and you’re just this guy but you’re a freaking cool guy who is cool in all the ways that I consider cool. You’re a geek like me, you give a damn about politics like me, you root for the wrong team but it’s OK because they’re in a different conference, and you have ups and downs and flaws like me. So many times I’ve encountered celebrities that make me hate characters I love because they’re odious. You made me love a character more, made me love an entire genre more. So, thank you.

    While I was still on Twitter, I saw the crap you dealt with on social media. “Social media.” There’s nothing “social” about it – it is, very accurately, “anti-social media.” I made my own exit completely final last week when I killed my Facebook account . I’d killed my Twitter, Instagram, and whatnot back in April because they’d become toxic cesspools. Is my life better? No idea – I do feel lonelier, but I felt pretty lonely seeing friends and peers display the best of their lives. Neither you nor anyone else deserves to be treated like this. On behalf of all of us who think you’re awesome, I’m angry because they ran you off of platforms where it was easy to interact with you without being a smelly, drippy, gushing con-goer. Because sometimes I just liked talking hockey with you. So, for this I am sad, because you gave a lot of yourself for people like me, and the Internet repaid you with a boot when it should have been lauding you. You’re awesome, so please keep on being awesome.

    Also maybe check and see if you can replace an isolinear chip and fix this problem, that’d be great.

  26. João Patrício says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:22 am

    I will miss you in the fediverse. I’m on Mastodon, diaspora, hubzilla, identi.ca, gnusocial… and I’ve never seen such a situation like the one that happened to you. That’s not the culture I admire, the culture of freedom, freedom with responsibility. The world lack such an amount of compassion that it’s sad and disturbing. I wish you everything good. And if, in any time, you had bad feeling for some one or a group, I will talk to you, and with the compassion needed, do my part in the boring showbiz world…

  27. DeeMack says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:26 am

    Hi Wil,
    I just wanted to add my voice to the many people who have posted here in support of you. I have for years enjoyed your contributions to the collective good. Your work, your creative endevours, the sharing of things you find interesting, your personal struggles and triumphs (and timely puppy pictures) have had an incredibly positive impact on my life – and judging from the posts here – on countless others.

    Keep on doing what you do – it matters. You are a positive force in this world.

  28. Christine W says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:34 am

    I’m sorry you had to go through all that harassment. “Don’t be a dick,” is my mantra. I wish other people followed that advice. I’m gonna miss you on the socials, but you have to take care of yourself first. I hope you keep updating here, because I love hearing stories about projects you’re working on or fun family happenings. Ultimately you owe us nothing, and owe yourself piece of mind and healthy living.

  29. Ryan Collins says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:35 am

    Give me an RSS feed over social media any day!

    I’ve moved to a couple of closed groups in Telegram for family sharing, and a Slack instance for a set of close friends. When I want to publish publicly, I use my blog. It does send out to Twitter, but that’s just because using an RSS reader still doesn’t make sense to some people.

    Facebook lost me when I couldn’t cross post to my personal timeline anymore, and I could see Twitter closing up their API to the point where I can’t cross post them.

    Social media is becoming a failed experiment on why we can’t have nice things.

  30. Ulfi says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:35 am

    Wil, let me just say this. You are a kind and beautiful person. You make the life of so many people better and you can be proud of that.

    Unfortunately, no matter in which community you are or what your chosen group beliefs in, there are always people who will try to make you miserable. And they will always think they are fighting the good fight for a better world. They are wrong, the only thing they achieve is that they make the world a terrible place for everyone.

  31. foforivera says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:43 am

    I feel you, I left both blue pages almost at the same time you moved to mastodon, what I see is an opportunity to either invest or come close to another tech savvy party and create your own mastodon instance or even reach out to eugen @gargron and help him to help you/him create an instance where public figures could feel apeace.
    That’s my POV and I would hate seeing you give up on something where people also cheer for you and follow you.
    Big hugs from a federated follower from this Mexican side of the border.

  32. Kel says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:44 am

    Hey Wil,

    Twitter has a toxicity problem. Mastodon has a group-think problem (there’s some recent history there that’s ruinous for the fediverse and its users—it isn’t you), but I hope you will continue to feel welcomed at Counter.Social.

    Feel free to vent with us anytime. To me, that’s what social media is supposed to be; a cathartic outlet for one-off randoms, and I have always appreciated your perspective there.

    Keep on keeping on!

    @kel(@counter.social)

  33. WeebleMom says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:49 am

    Thanks for trying. While we need people in the public sphere who are trying to make the world a better (kinder/gentler/more tolerant) place, I’m glad you recognize that what you need most is to take care of yourself by not participating in the dumpster fire right now. But know that there are moms out there who have taught their teenage children Wheaton’s Law and try every day to live by it.

  34. Amy Carlisle says:
    30 August, 2018 at 9:59 am

    I followed you on FB and Mastodon because of a number of reasons, one of which is you talking about your depression has helped me understand my husband’s better.
    You getting driven off of Mastodon was not right, and the dogpile of hate I am still seeing there was not right. I think you could do some stuff better, like calling out some of your problematic friends for shitty behavior, but we all could stand to do that. I do look forward to reading your thoughts on things, and hope you regain your balance.

  35. codemonkeysteve says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:00 am

    I say we ditch social media sites and go back to IRC. And if that doesn’t work, dialup BBSs.

  36. Robert GillisRobert Gillis says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:01 am

    Well said, Wil. Social media is getting so cruel it’s not worth the time. As always, a thoughtful, calm and common sense piece from you. Thanks for sharing! — Bob

  37. Michael Horniak says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:03 am

    It’s also disappointing that you’re moderating critical, yet civil, comments off this article.

    Disappointing, but not surprising.

    1. Michael Horniak says:
      30 August, 2018 at 10:06 am

      Disregard, I’m a moron.

  38. Nora Reed says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:22 am

    maybe you should have made more than token effort to repair the damage you did to trans people and said something about it when your friend turned out to be an abuser if you wanted marginalized people to accept you to their communities in good faith

    1. Marenz says:
      30 August, 2018 at 10:42 am

      What did he do? And why is he responsible for anything a friend of him did?

      1. Nora Reed says:
        30 August, 2018 at 10:53 am

        he spent years circulating and promoting a transphobe’s personal grudge based blocklist, and because he said he was a feminist. you’re welcome

        1. Wil says:
          30 August, 2018 at 10:55 am

          You know this isn’t true, and if you read this post you would see that. Stop lying about me.

          1. Nora Reed says:
            30 August, 2018 at 11:07 am

            I offered to help you fix the blocklist problem– which would have been a start– by explaining how to wipe the list. You didn’t. Also, your best friend is still an abuser. On the bright side I don’t have to read your “feminist commentary” and shit about how you should be nice to people shared by people who think niceness works by itself as a harm reduction strategy anymore.

          2. Nora Reed says:
            30 August, 2018 at 11:10 am

            Just because you’ve got your playing life on easy mode blinkers on doesn’t mean no one else can see the damage you’ve done.

            PS: Your silence on Hardwick has been noted.

          3. Wil says:
            30 August, 2018 at 11:11 am

            Okay. Bye.

        2. Marenz says:
          31 August, 2018 at 2:15 am

          So what, he believed someone who lied and should be sentenced for that?
          And, as he wrote, as soon as he learned about that he took action.

          I feel you are going out of your way to create problems that you can attack, the reasons I could only guess but won’t here.

          And again, you ignored my question of why he should be held responsible for someone he knows. What kind of weird logic is that. I am not responsible for my friends behavior.

    2. Jason Mitchell says:
      30 August, 2018 at 12:00 pm

      And you’re exactly the type of person that ruins these platforms. People can accept whom they choose to. Why should anyone cater to a single group, marginalized or not?

      And seriously, why should someone take you seriously when your own quote is “bot goddess and cultivator of man-anger”. Have you already decided that every man in the world hates you just for being? Makes me feel sorry that there have obviously been those in your life whom may have treated you unjustly or unfairly and that yes there are plenty of d-bags in the world. But damn, learn to just love life!

    3. AHatcher says:
      30 August, 2018 at 12:29 pm

      Try to take a step back for a moment and try to put yourself in the position of an impartial observer. Do you really think this spat furthers the goals of the trans community? I’ll give you a hint – it doesn’t. It makes the community at large look hateful and cruel – is that what the community and its allies are aiming for? To become the playground bully of social media?

      The whole blocklist drama and the apparent damage that it caused is predicated on Wil having a large amount of influence. Imagine if the trans community had spent its considerable energy turning Wil into an influential ally, instead of targeting him for abuse over what, to any reasonable observer, was a mistake made without malice.

      Thousands of people are going to read this blog post, and everyone of them is going to go away with a vastly worse opinion of the trans community and its allies as a whole. And that isn’t Wil’s fault – it’s the fault of people like you.

  39. CB says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:42 am

    Thanks for putting into words what so many of us are feeling. You’re not alone in your disappointment and frustration. And I hope you’ll continue blogging!

  40. Santiago Matamoros says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:43 am

    ” as well as rewarding abuse of a reporting system that’s meant to protect users” So basically the same thing you and your pals did to conservatives on twitter, lmao,

    serves you well,

    1. Wil says:
      30 August, 2018 at 10:45 am

      You know there’s a difference between reporting accounts that break clear examples of rules, and mobbing a single person. Don’t forget to pick up your strawman on your way out.

      1. Santiago Matamoros says:
        30 August, 2018 at 10:51 am

        Aww, did I bweak any of youw wittwe wuwes, lmao,

        1. Frank says:
          30 August, 2018 at 8:47 pm

          You are boring, Santiago.
          Wrong, too, as well as juvenile.
          You are a dullard.

      2. CallousInterman says:
        31 August, 2018 at 7:45 am

        There actually isn’t much of a difference, because you see: The rules are only as good as the people who interpret them.
        As you’ve seen for yourself, minor sleights can spin into misrepresentations of that person and his intentions. Social platforms have rules as a courtesey, not a guideline, as you’ve seen from Mastodon. You can still be suppressed or banned for reasons unrelated to any violations on your part depending entirely on the feelings of the mob, of which you were once a part of.

        Which is why ‘live and let live’ is a better standard that I hope you adopt in the future in regards to the people whom you may not agree with politically. Who knows, you may even have great conversation or make good friends with someone you despise politically.

  41. Robert Blank says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:44 am

    I wish I had known you were on Mastodon. I’m always looking to find people to follow there. Why not run your own instance? You wouldn’t have this problem if you owned the server yourself.

  42. Doug Helbling says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:46 am

    Sorry you’ve reached the Enough Already point, but only sorry for myself. You keep being you. We all have to manage our personal integrity with the best judgment and information that we have available. Clearly the vast majority of your fanbase support this move, or any other move you choose to make.

  43. Bob says:
    30 August, 2018 at 10:56 am

    Hey Wil, just thought it wouldn’t hurt to hear that my sons have internalized “aspire to be like Wil Wheaton” at such a core level that it’s like saying “aspire to breathe air.” Of course they want to be like you. You’re the archetypal Decent Guy plus successful career plus great family plus amazing friend group and so forth.
    Both of them will be away at college starting Saturday morning and you’re one of the examples that they’re shaping their lives to as they leave my care.
    This seemed like something that you need to hear right now.

  44. Kent C. says:
    30 August, 2018 at 11:01 am

    Hi Wil, I don’t know you, but have seen your positive presence on various social media platforms over the years, and have always gotten the impression that your intentions have always been good, and your goal has always been understanding and communication even when you might disagree with someone. I am sad that there no longer seems to be a place in the social media space for voices like yours, as the chorus of hate will always shout them down.
    I am in no position to give advice, but please allow me a thought. Do not let yourself be defined by others. Your own moral compass, and the people who love and respect you should be the guideposts along your journey. Do not listen to those whose only goal is to shout down anyone they disagree with, and certainly don’t let their shouting influence how you feel about yourself. You seem to me to be a good person who cares deeply about the world. Keep doing that and ignore the noise of those that just want to burn the place down.

  45. Steve says:
    30 August, 2018 at 11:11 am

    Hey, I’m no longer blocked by @wilw on twitter!

  46. Stacey says:
    30 August, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Sadly, social media gives an outlet to people for them to say and do things online that would get you thrown in jail in the real world. You can’t chase strangers down in the street and scream in their face in real life and chase them wherever they go screaming at them (at least, not legally). Social media gives you helpful tools to not only attack others for any reason you want, but to organize armies of other folks who want to join the lynch mob. They have no outlet for these urges in the real world. Where else would they go?

    We should have seen this coming 😦

  47. Michael Brazda says:
    30 August, 2018 at 11:23 am

    Wil,

    I would be more than happy to spin up a Mastodon instance that you control therefor you can block people or entire instances. Then you can control the content on it. If you are interested in giving that a try let me know. I run a popular instance and we do not tolerate abuse of any kind and would be more than happy to start you one. Honestly I believe the admin should of banned everyone spewing the hate and not the one it was directed too.

  48. Aymm says:
    30 August, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    I’m sorry, you really don’t deserve that :/
    I’m getting all of my social media needs from pnut.io nowadays. It’s Twitter, but in good

  49. Laura says:
    30 August, 2018 at 12:12 pm

    Hey Wil. I love your work, I love what you do, and I am so sorry you’ve had to put up with this shit. Peace and love to you and yours, dude.

  50. Jay says:
    30 August, 2018 at 12:19 pm

    I’m sorry. You don’t deserve being treated this way. It’s wrong. I hope you continue to blog. I appreciate your cogent, thoughtful writing on all sorts of topics. I try to live my life by a nifty mantra I heard a while ago, “don’t be a dick”. I wish everyone did. Take care of yourself. And thank you.

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