As most of you know, I deactivated my Twitter account earlier this month. It had been a long time coming, for a whole host of reasons, but Twitter’s decision to be the only social network that gives Alex Jones a platform to spew hate, hurt innocent people, and incite violence was the final straw for me. But I haven’t regretted leaving for even one second. Having that endless stream of hate and anger and negativity in my pocket wasn’t good for me (and I don’t think it’s good for anyone, to be honest).
I was on Twitter from just about the very beginning. I think I’m in the first couple thousand accounts. I remember when it was a smallish group of people who wanted to have fun, make jokes, share information and tips on stuff that was interesting, and oh so many pictures of our pets. It was awesome.
It started to get toxic slowly at first, then all at once, starting with the misogynist dipshits who were behing the gate-which-shall-not-be-named. That was clearly a turning point for Twitter, and it never really recovered from it. I watched, in real time, as the site I loved turned into a right wing talk radio shouting match that made YouTube comments and CSPAN call-ins seem scholarly. We tried for a couple of years to fight back, to encourage Twitter to take a stand against bad actors (HA HA LIKE ME BECAUSE I AM A BAD ACTOR RIGHT YOU GOT ME HA HA HA). Twitter doesn’t care about how its users are affected by themselves, though. Twitter cares about growth and staying on the good side of President Shitler’s tantrums.
I mean, honestly, the most lucid and concise indictment I can give Twitter is: it’s the service that Donald Trump uses to communicate with and incite his cultists.
Anyway, enough about how terrible Twitter is. We all know how terrible it is. That’s never going to change, by the way.I know some very good people who are working on making Twitter better, but I honestly don’t think they can overcome the institutional inertia that has allowed it to get to the point its at now. It may get incrementally better, but the fundamental problem of random, mostly-anonymous people being terrible isn’t going to change, because that’s not a Twitter problem. That’s a humanity — and specifically a social media — problem.
I thought that if I left Twitter, I could find a new social network that would give it some competition (Twitter’s monopoly on the social space is a big reason it can ignore people who are abused and harassed, while punishing people for reporting their attackers), so I fired up this account I made at Mastodon a long time ago.
I thought I’d find something different. I thought I’d find a smaller community that was more like Twitter was way back in 2008 or 2009. Cat pictures! Jokes! Links to interesting things that we found in the backwaters of the internet! Interaction with friends we just haven’t met, yet! What I found was … not that.
I found a harsh reality that I’m still trying to process: thousands of people who don’t know me, who have never interacted with me, who internalized a series of lies about me, who were never willing to give me a chance. I was harassed from the minute I made my account, and though I expected the “shut up wesley”s and “go fuck yourself”s to taper off after a day or so, it never did. And even though I never broke any rules on the server I joined (Mastodon is individual “instances” which is like a server, which connects to the “federated timeline”, which is what all the other servers are), one of its admins told me they were suspending my account, because they got 60 (!) reports overnight about my account, and they didn’t want to deal with the drama.
I respect and support that person’s decision, because it’s a private server and it’s run with their time, energy, attention, and (presumably) money. I don’t agree with it at all, and I think it’s deeply unfair, as well as rewarding abuse of a reporting system that’s meant to protect users, but it’s their site and it’s their rules, and I can’t say I blame them. The people going after me were pretty awful, and I can only imagine that an admin would get fed up with them, too.
I want to share the message I posted there when I left (Twitter is called ‘birdsite’ on Mastodon):
I have been notified by an Admin here that they are getting 60 reports a day about my account. As far as I can tell, I’m not breaking any rules, and I’ve done my best to be a good person here. But this admin is going to suspend my account.
It’s the Admin’s instance, so I fully support their choice to eliminate a source of frustration, but something to consider: a person who is doing nothing wrong can be run off one instance by a mob from another instance. That seems … not cool. 1/x
But it’s been made very, very clear to me that I am not welcome in the Fediverse, and I hear you. I hoped to find an alternative to the birdsite where I could find the same fun community that existed over there in the beginning, and it’s clear to me that I won’t be finding that. Before I leave, I want to just make something very clear, because I’ve spent most of my life being yelled at by people who don’t know me at all, and I want the record to be clear. 2/x
During GamerGate, I was dogpiled and mobbed and brigaded and attacked by thousands of accounts. I started using a blocklist that was supposed to help stop that. I did not know that the blocklist I signed up for also had a lot of trans women on it. When I found out, I did everything I could to remove those women from the list I shared. When there were still innocents on the list, I stopped sharing the list entirely. Despite this, a mob has decided that I’m anti-trans. 3/x
This lie that I am anti-trans, or anti-LGBQ, is deeply hurtful to me (I know it’s nothing like the pain LGBTQ people deal with every day, as they simply try to *exist* in a world that treats them so badly, but it is still hurtful in its own way to me). I just want to make it extremely clear: that is a lie, and the people spreading it are misinformed.
So I’m leaving the Fediverse, which has treated me with more cruelty, vitriol, hatred, and contempt than than anyone on the birdsite ever did. 4/x
Anyway, take your victory lap and collect your prizes. You’ve made it clear that I’m not welcome here, and even though I disagree with the action this Admin is taking (banning me when I didn’t break any rules doesn’t seem right), I respect and support the Admin’s decision to run their instance the way they see fit.
Please do your very best to be kind to each other. The world is a terrible place right now, and that’s largely because it is what we make it.
Bye.
6/end
This isn’t limited to Mastodon.cloud (the worst attacks and dogpiling came from a few other instances before the instance I was on became awful) and it isn’t limited to Twitter.com. I see this in the online space all the time now: mobs of people, acting in bad faith, can make people they don’t know and will likely never meet miserable, or even try to ruin their lives and careers (look at what they did to James Gunn). And those mobs’ bad behaviors are continually rewarded, because it’s honestly easier to just give them what they want. We are ceding the social space to bad people, because they have the most time, the least morals and ethics, and are skilled at relentlessly attacking and harassing their targets. It only takes few seconds for one person to type “fuck off” and hit send. That person probably doesn’t care and doesn’t think about how their one grain of sand quickly becomes a dune, with another person buried beneath it. That’s a huge problem that seems to be baked into social media, and I tried to mitigate it with a blocklist that I never intended to be problematic, but ultimately was. (And for what it’s worth, the part of me that wants to apologize to the people who ended up on it by mistake is overwhelmed by the part of me who was attacked really viciously by a lot of those people and feels like maybe blocking them wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.)
At the end of the day, I’m lucky and privileged as fuck. I can sign off from a website (or multiple websites), and go live my life with my amazing family and our dogs. I’m not a marginalized person who has to fight every moment of every day, just to live my life. So I’m keeping that in mind and keeping that perspective in my heart. Yes, the accusations and the big lie that took hold in remarkably short time about me is hurtful. Yes, it’s upsetting to know that there are a lot of people out there who have decided to take time out of their lives to actively hate me, without knowing anything about me other than a story they were told by someone else who doesn’t know me. But I can sign off and get away from it, so I will. And I will be grateful that I can.
Buuuuuuuuuut … I’m done with social media. Maybe I just don’t fit into whatever the social media world is. I mean, the people who are all over the various Mastodon instances made it really clear that I wasn’t welcome there (with a handful of notable, joyful, exceptions, mostly related to my first baby steps into painting), and it seems as if I was just unwelcome because … I’m me? I guess? Like, I know that I’m not a transphobe, but holy shit that lie just won’t die, and right now as I am writing this, someone at Mastodon is telling me that I am, because people said so, and I should apologize to them. I mean, how am I supposed to respond to that, when it happens over and over and over again? “You’ve been lied to about me. Please give me a chance” just doesn’t seem like a viable way forward with people who are, for whatever reason, very, very angry. And these people seem to have an idea of me in their head that doesn’t fit with the idea of myself that I have in my head. It’s honestly caused me to rethink a lot of stuff. Like, am I really the terrible person they say I am? I don’t think I am, but I’m doing my best to listen, and when I say, “please stop yelling at me and let’s have a conversation that I can grow from” I get yelled at for “tone policing” and honestly I just get exhausted and throw up my hands. Maybe I’m not this person they tell me I am, but I represent that person in their heads, and they treat me accordingly? This is one of those times when my mental illness makes it very hard for me to know what’s objective reality and what’s just in my head.
But I don’t deserve to be treated so terribly by so many random people, so I’m not going to put myself in a place where I am subjected to it all day long. As the saying goes, I’m too old for this shit. What we used to call microblogging isn’t worth the headache for me. I’m gonna focus my time and my energy on the things that I love, that make me happy, that support my family.
Please do your best to be kind, and make an effort to make the world less terrible. Thanks for listening.
Comments have been closed on this post.
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Wil:
You’re a cool guy, and I hate that you’ve had to go through this. So many other decent people are experiencing similar harassment, so for as little as it may help, know that you’re not alone and you are always very appreciated.
Please continue to be a good person who makes other people’s lives more fun.
Wow. I am speechless and dumbstruck. At least, please know, that there are people who don’t know you (only your public persona) and don’t think of you as a bad person. On the contrary.
Thanks for being you.
Twitter went to crap around 2009 or so because that’s when everyone started getting smartphones, and suddenly every jerk who was “too cool” to spend time at a computer was now online 24/7. Like always, good-thing + more-people == bad-thing.
And sigh, the trolls chase Gunn off, they chase you off, and each time we lose another prominent, highly visible & highly vocal critic of Trump. Precisely what they want. Emboldened now, they won’t stop until every last “libtard” is driven off of social media and they and their moron king can have it all to themselves. But I don’t blame you. I left too, yesterday.
(Oh btw I’d bet dollars to donuts much of the “wil is anti-trans!” bullshit is coming from very transphobic alt-right guys who love that it gives them ammo to pretend to care about LGBT if it means they can screw with you. It’s what these scumbags do.)
“I found a harsh reality that I’m still trying to process: thousands of people who don’t know me, who have never interacted with me, who internalized a series of lies about me, who were never willing to give me a chance”
You blocked me on Twitter using a blockchain list from a known TERF and I have never once interacted with you in any way shape or form. Et tu Wesley.
He literally explained in this very post how that happened and that he didn’t mean to block any trans people, he thought he was blocking gamer gate people, because he didn’t know the list was made by a TERF. Even celebrities do make mistakes, you know?
Will, this is so thoughtful and clear. Thank you, I shall try to remember and live by this. xoxo
As a trans person, I find it infuriating that people exist who who claim to be champions of trans equality, but actually are only interested in acting self-righteous, and in aggressively hounding people who have been accused of transphobia – whether or not those accusations have any merit.
In a world where trans people still suffer physical attacks, job discrimination, an increased risk of suicide, and legislators trying to stop us from going to the fucking bathroom… It is simply ludicrous for self-proclaimed trans advocates to put such energy into hurling verbal abuse at someone who maybe, possibly, accidentally blocked some trans people on a social networking platform, especially when that person has already explained himself more than adequately.
People who do this shit don’t care about me or the very REAL struggles I’ve faced all my life. They’re just using me as a prop to justify behavior that is, at its core, nothing more than garden-variety online bullying. Just because they try to put a shiny coat of “anti-transphobia” paint on it doesn’t make it anything other than that. All it does is tear down innocent people (including potential allies), and discredit real trans activists by associating us with bullies in people’s minds.
I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this. You are a caring person and it’s evident by the things you do and stand for. People can be assholes, but that doesn’t mean you are. I will miss you on social medi, but I’d rather your mental health take priority over my selfish need to see what Will is up to today.
Hi Wil. I’m a conservative (not trump supporter) but I am here to support you. I too know what it’s like to have people judge you based off one jerks claim. I’ve been called every name in the book because I don’t support a lot of the left. It hurts because I’m human too. I may only be a white guy but I have feelings too. This is why the world is so horrible. We can’t even have dialogue with each other anymore. It’s not a good thing at all. I’m sorry Wil for what’s happened to you. I only heard about this from Tim Pools video and it really bothers me. I don’t even know much about you but even I know you’re not what they claim you are. I wish I could shake your hand and say I’m sorry for what has happened. Anyways im not good with words really but I just wanted to reach out. I hope you can take peace in knowing you do have a family and loved ones who care about you. That matters more than anything else.
I’m bummed you left Twitter! I appreciated what you had to say. I understand your reasoning however. Hopefully one day you’ll be back if things change.
Wil
Those of us who have followed you career know you’re not transphobic, homophobic, racist or the like. You shouldn’t be judged by a simple mistake. You are obviously being bullied, hell your bullies even followed you to your own blog just to harass you and put you down.
Depression and anxiety are hard enough to live with let alone when you have people trolling you where ever you go on the internet. What ever you do please don’t stop blogging, I like many enjoy seeing your post pop up in our inboxes, they are always a great read.
Just know we appreciate and love all that you are and do. To all the haters out there posting crap about Wil on this blog, there has been a long standing rule which we live by
‘Don’t be a Dick’
If you want to be a dick go back to Twitter with all the other dicks.
Poetic justice, you got banned off of a platform. You left Twitter because you wanted another person to get banned, Poetic justice.
We loved you on Eureka! And that other show.
Wil, me and my wife both appreciate your support of LGBTQ peeps like us, and your honesty in talking about mental health issues. Please don’t be shut up by the dicks. I miss seeing your tweets, but I get it. I don’t have any suggestions, just some gratitude for your making the world a slightly better place. Thanks!
Will… i’m shocked to hear that there people who think these things about you. It’s nuts. I lot of us know who you really are — it’s apparent in everything that you write. Anyone bothering to learn anything about you would know that’s not who you are. Never doubt that.
I too miss the old Twitter. I had a group of online friends there who gathered every Sat.morning and chatted. Multiple threads at the same time. All good fun. All Beatles/Paul McCartney fans. I went on to meet a number of them outside of Twitter at concerts around the country, and loved them as I had expected to. Sad what has happened to our online lives, and what is happening to our analog lives.
I will always hold you in great esteem. Take care, and best wishes in all of your endeavors.
Oh, and you are a really accomplished actor. I look forward to your episodes on BBT, your novel, and any other work you do.
Shouting into the void here but maybe this will reach someone. It seems to me that one of the problems is the anonymity of the hole thing. Maybe it’s time for a social media platform that verifies all of there users. Google tried this with YouTube and was attacked. I understand some people needing it but is it possible that it benefits the trolls more then the people? A combination of Verified Twitter and Bumble? We’re only people that ask to follow you and are accepted by you as a follower get access to your feed and vice versa? I feel like this is an easy thing to fix…
Anyway, good luck hope you find a solution.
No one deserves to be treated that way, Wil. I sympathize, as I’m still in the thick of the very same problem only it’s within my nuclear family and it’s cost me all contact with one of my sons and my grandson. It’s wrong and it’s painful and I think the most difficult part of it all is that people in our position know that defending ourselves is pointless. You are so right to remove yourself from the tracks of that unstoppable oncoming train. I’m sorry for your pain just as I am sorry for my pain. Let us link metaphorical arms and get through this by sending love vibes to those who are hurting us. They know not what they do. At least that is what I choose to believe.
I don’t know if this helps. (It’s helped me.) Remember the words of Dr. Seuss. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
I’m sorry, but i have to disagree with you on this one. First of all you’re still doing it. Anyone with basic English Comp skills will see that your post was nothing more than another attempt at blaming the state of Twitter on people who simply disagree with you and what you believe. You also seem to not understand that Twitter, Google, and Facebook are all owned by publicly proclaimed and admitted extreme left-wing Progressives (or what used to be called Marxists before the name was changed to hide its real intent). You also don’t seem to recognize that both Twitter and Facebook have been demonetizing, shadow-banning, and shutting down many thousands of accounts of Conservatives and Libertarians, people whose only fault was saying they believe in the Constitution. Maybe you like that kind of thing. But I thought you supported the side that was against discrimination. Or, do those laws and philosophies only apply to you and yours? Do you realize that when you project the kind of anger and hate and name calling that you engage in with respect to people who disagree with you, the only thing that happens is that you manifest that in your own life. The kind of hate and anger being spewed out by the Left right now does not solve anything, and you cannot blame that on Twitter, Trump, or anyone else but yourselves. You act like it’s the Right that’s toxic, when all I see when I look around on the internet or TV news is people on the Left (who are supposed to be acting politically correct) throwing out all manner of derogatory names at people simply because they disagree with them. I am not a Nazi, a racist, a fascist, a rapist, a sexist, a thief, a liar, a mysoginist, or a bigot just because I disagree with you about something. But, with respect to the Left, that’s where we’re at today. If the Right had said the things about Obama that the Left has been saying about Trump, the Left would have been marching in the streets and burning down other people’s businesses and their own neighborhoods. If you really want to manifest peace, love, and happiness in your own life, then that is what you need to project out into the world, not hate, anger, name calling and derogatory labeling of other people and groups.
The right did call Obama all those things. Plus a bunch of racist s*** as well. Plus secret Muslim … secret Kenyan…
Sorry for the way you’ve been treated. Seem like a great guy and I respect your tolerance and restraint in this message. Peace out.
Hey Wil
I’m on the No Agenda social mastodon node.
You are most welcome over here
The fediverse is a wide and scary place. We ended up on #TheList when we first arrived with baseless accusations of being alt right Nazis, and threatening people on other nodes, you know, the kind of conversations that go “well I disagree with A because of B and here is a link to our source)
Followed by them calling us Nazis, being blocked and reported. To which our Admin, Adam Curry (of MTV fame) would ask “please show me the thread” and then he was blocked, and accused of harassing other admins by logging in from another instance and asking why he was blocked for asking for what thread by one of our members was abussive. True story.
However, we have all survived and thrived as a community around our common interest The No Agenda Podcast. There are many instances in the fediverse, but being social media anarchy with fifedoms of douchebags that will boot you in a heartbeat and there are true free speech zones that censor nothing. Many simply sit in a sane balance. You just have to find the right one.
If you wish to join us, it would be a pleasure. I know how Adam will react to baseless complaints from outside, and you’ll get none from us, just challenged if you say something someone disagrees with.
I also say “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me….unless someone pushes an 8′ bookshelf, full of books on top of me…..which is why I am always circumspect in a library”
Take care and welcome to the future of social media 🙂
Ps it might be time to read Prodessor Ted’s Industrial Society and its Future if you have never read it, or it’s been a while.
I’m sorry you’ve been designated a lightning rod for assholery.
I don’t know you and have never met you. But having read your blog and the things you put out online, I think you’re a good person and if we ever crossed paths I’d tell you that and offer a high five. I’m sure the Internet and world are full of people like me in this regard, but we don’t go about shoving it down your throat like flaming cock-wombles.
Please trust your family, friends, and fans. Depression lies and so do Internet hate mongers. You do so much good and bring so much joy and happiness to people.
You’ve helped me deal with poor mental health, be supportive and encouraging to family members dealing with some chronic mental shit, be open and honest with myself about who I am. You’ve made me laugh, cry, think about things in complex and nuanced ways, and have a greater appreciation for the luck and privileges I have. When people ask who my inspirations are, you’re consistently top billing.
If the words of Internet strangers mean anything, please value all of these lovely comments on your blog over throwaway and misguided anger.
Wil, you’re a wonderful human being.
Hey Wil, just wanted to give you a virtual fistbump. Sorry things suck. And by things, I mean hateful trolls.
Wil,
This is why endless calls for censorship aren’t what is needed. Because, INEVITABLY, such tools come around to bite you in the ass.
Far better to give people the ability to block things they don’t wish to see, and possibly create and share block-lists. Give people the ability to exercise their OWN agency. Rather than demanding that they must be “saved”.
YES, this leaves nasty people able to say whatever they want.
SO WHAT? Eventually, such people are, effectively, shouting down an outhouse, as nobody’s actually paying attention to them anymore.
And if one of them goes full-whackjob and actually does something CRIMINAL, the service has a nice, neat little timeline of everything they’ve ever said to demonstrate “pre-meditated”.
Keep your friends close.
Keep your enemies CLOSER.
Personally, I disagree with you on multiple levels about a great many things.
But, do I think you should be silenced or othered?
Not in a million years!
Do I expect you to change your mind?
Nah. You’re in your late 40’s. You’ve got your mind made up about who you are, what you are, and what you expect from people.
So, you’ve now learned that ANYONE, regardless of political/social leanings, can be an absolute dick if they put their mind to it.
You can either walk away from it, or you can evolve your position.
Up to you bud.
Wish you all the best.
Yours is a really easy problem to fix. Add the following rule:
If you report an account that hasn’t violated any community rules, your account will be suspended:
1) The first time, for 24h
2) The second time, for a week
3) The third time, for a month.
4) The forth time, forever.
Let Darwinian principles do their thing.
I’ve never said anything to you, to my recollection. I’ve just enjoyed your work, specifically your acting work. Now, I don’t know if you read all these comments, I don’t know if clearing out of all social media means every avenue, but first, I’m sad to see you go. You’ve been a continued voice screaming against the void that threatens to swallow us all, and though that’s not your job, you’ve made it feel like there’s some sanity in this world. Second, I know this might not help, but I’ve always enjoyed your work, and who you present yourself as. You’re an inspiration of who to be in this world, i.e. not a dick (whenever at all possible). Lastly, if you ever find someplace to nest in this whirlwind of crazy, a social media presence that isn’t wary of deep-sixing assholes, send up some flares, please?
Unless and until then,
DK
P.S. Yes, I even enjoyed Wesley.
There are two things they don’t tell you about the red-pill. One is that that the ‘Morphean’ rabbit-hole doesn’t lead to the far right. Rather, it pops out at the very center, on a vista from which you can clearly see the nature of the lunacy on both the left and right for what it is, the same brand of capricious tribal awfulness. The words of the battle cries are different, but the spirit is the same. The other thing, is that it tastes like cinnamon! Yummy! Welcome to radical centrism, Wil. My thoughts are with you.
Dude, I followed you on Mastodon and finally had the chance to interact with you after having watched a ton of tabletop games and get into it with my own kids. I looked forward to watching you paint.
I tried on Twitter but 1 post pointing out Milo’s trans hate to Adam Baldwin got me added to your block list and therefore the block list of a ton of others.
Do I think you hate trans ppl? I have no clue and wasnt ready to jump to that conclusion as I dont know you. I have a transgender daughter, so the topic isnt one of self interest but it is on a more primal basic level of fear for a child which can be just as motivating, if not more.
In that regard you effectively silenced many ppl from being able to interact with those who both needed to hear it and could have helped raise awareness. This even affected trans ppl from living the lives they choose in gaming b/c they couldnt use twitter to get the word out about streams/shows/esports etc etc Not claiming you did it on purpose but you were woefully unaware.
I tried making new accounts and notifying you repeatedly on twitter but got no where. Met a lot of transgender folks though b/c they would all tell me what I was doing would accomplish nothing but getting me banned.
Then I come here and read the 1st and 2nd paragraph after your Mastodon message.
You still cant listen. The trolls are speaking to you for a reason and instead of trying to figure that out with a light touch you go all Gunn and call yourself the victim followed up with acknowledging your privilege ….
Do you hear yourself? This take is so obtuse I am amazed you can sit down
Good luck with your painting and your future social media efforts. Please remember one can carry over to the other, dont paint all trolls w the same brush.
Blink Ensu
Unfortunately it’s unlikely that people will ever stop being assholes, especially on social media – possibly the worst invention (thus far) of the 21st century. I get the impression that for all their big talk, Mastodon ain’t what it’s cracked to be. I have a friend who quit birdsite (due to the Nazis) and Fakebook (due to being generally useless) and then ran into the same kind of issues on the Fediverse instance she joined! Useless admin who refused to protect her from the same Fourth Reich stalkers who make her life a living hell on a daily basis. Everyone said she’d never leave the instance B/C of all the followers she’d gained (1,200 or so…little did they know she’d already walked away from 40K on Fakebook who never saw any of her posts). Eventually she decided to go through the taxing process of learning how to Admin her own instance…now she has her own carefully-curated, almost-private instance that she can control access to. She expanded that to her own tight little circle of communities that are only for nice people. Sadly, that can’t keep her safe from the shitstorm of hate and venom that gets hurled at her every day. Too bad there’s not a social media site for people who have been treated like shit by assholes on other social media sites. You all could get together and plot revenge – I mean, compare notes.
Amazing essay, Will. It was fantastic to read this. Thanks so much for writing it. I really appreciate it so much.
Mr. Wheaton, the wife and I love your acting talent and disagree with your politics. To think you are anti-trans … is beyond belief as you’ve repeatedly made your support clear … but one of the gems of social media is the ability to be stupid then avoid any serious repercussions for said accusation.
I’m not going to be one of those folks who say you should never block people. You are a celebrity so you are going to have people coming at you on social media for no better reason than counting coup, or name recognition.
I do believe you have made one serious error and that is somehow lowering your right to civility and respect because you are a Cis White male in the US of some economic means. What are you apologizing for? Being ‘straight’? You have no more control over your gender-identity, or sexual preference than a person who is a trans lesbian. White? Did you choose your parents? I don’t think so. Male? Again, a factor beyond your control. Are you to apologize for working at a young age and enjoying some level of success in your profession? Your talent and work ethic made you successful, not some mystic forces which have elevated you and made your life easier and to which you now own homage.
You aren’t a minority ~ except males are actually a minority, but no one cares 😉 ~ or marginalized through no choices of your own. You could give it all up and move to the Eastern Congo where your life would be much harsher and you would definitely be an at-risk minority … but why would you? You are not from the East Congo, or is that part of your ethnic make-up.
You were born in the United States of America to a White family living in California. Congrats, you were born luckier than most, but none of that was your choice. Stop marginalizing yourself because of it. Your opinions matter just as much as a trans-woman, or Black militant medical student. Please stop claiming you matter less than anyone else. We are much better elevating everyone to what we see as the best in life than lowering us all to the level of those we believe have suffered the most.
Take care and have a good day, Mr. Wheaton. Thank you for all the hours of enjoyment you have brought to me and my household.
Truthfully, I really liked you on Eureka. I suspect you’ve done a lot of good for people.
You’re facing bullies: People who are weak, but find that they can feel powerful by bullying someone else. My advice (which might not be all that good), for what it is worth, is, don’t let them win. You can choose to walk away, ignore them or strike back. Whatever you decision is, be sure that you make a clear choice. Don’t let others usurp control of your life.
Be strong. Be well.
I’m so sorry that you have to deal with the dredges of humanity. It’s always mind blowing the number of people who’d go out their way to be a dick to others.
Even without social media, we’d continue reading your blog, so please don’t stop that.
And if you were interested, have a look at Indieweb.org, it’s a way to be social with your blog.
I’m sorry this has happened to you, Wil. I’m a lurker on Twitter. I hardly ever tweet. I just follow people I think are funny or interesting like you and Anne and Bonnie Burton and John Scalzi, but I still have to scroll past hateful BS a lot. If any of that were ever directed at me I would be devastated. I’ll miss you but I know you’ll feel better for leaving.
Wil, I’m so sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve it and, in my opinion, you handled it beautifully and with class. Something that is sorely lacking in this world. I have enjoyed your work, your craft (acting), and your voice in it’s many forms. I completely understand why you would not want to be on social media – there is a lot of ugly – but there is good, too. It may not matter – but I think you’re a great guy with a big heart an awesome sense of humor and LOTS of talent – I’m thankful you have shared yourself with us.
I have been an elementary school art teacher for 24 years so I admit, social media is not my forte…but children are…and childish behavior and bullying is a daily occurrence. Clearly the people reacting to Wheaton’s account DID NOT learn everything they needed to know in Kindergarten. This is absolutely appalling behavior, ESPECIALLY from grown ass adults. Because of the relatively anonymous(unless you are a celebrity) presence people have online, they sink right back into the WORST aspects of mean little kids. Mean people suck…and they SHOULD be ashamed of themselves. Kids often do not know any better but adults know EXACTLY what they are doing. Shameful!
How ironic that people were saying mean things about you and stuff that wasn’t true and yet I was somehow blocked by you on Twitter with little to know interaction probaby bc of gamergate but eveyone i interacted with werent harassing anyone nor did any have issues with female gamers or developers just those that would force their ideology into existing franchises or that being a guy was bad. I used to think you were a good person. Loved watching you on InDigital. But social justice is a cancer it doesn’t help people, it assumes the pie is fixed and in order to help one person another person needs to be harmed/brought down for having to much ”privilege” and its racist judging by skin color not even ecomomic status. That’s just a shitty way of looking at life.
I thought that we had all come to an understanding about these things. A white male who has had a life of privilege does not get to tell marginalize people whether or not his actions were harmful or painful.
His whitness is preventing him from being able to see his unconscious bigotry.
The people who were damaged by his actions no better then he does.
Marginalized people are not a monolith who all have the same opinions. I am trans and I don’t feel damaged by Wil’s actions. But I do feel angry that many people cannot tell the difference between holding powerful people accountable for bigotry, versus relentlessly hounding and harassing not-particularly-powerful people who have already apologized and don’t even hold any power to hurt us beyond… what, blocking us on social media? That’s how low the bar is set for harm and pain? In a world where trans people have to fear for our lives because of real bigotry and hate from the people who hold real power? Give me a break.
The same thing occurred to me. I’m sitting here thinking, wait, these people are getting their knickers in a knot because he used a blocklist that someone else created that included their Twitter handles which meant they couldn’t see his content on Twitter. And this is harming them, how? I was on usenet ages ago. We had kill files where we could block the content of people who we didn’t want to associate with. I’m sure I was in more than one person’s kill file. I couldn’t give a flying fuck.
The asshats involved in gamergate could be relentless and completely despicable.I can understand wanting to find a pre-made blocklist to en masse block all of those low lifes. And while it was unfortunate that the blocklist he chose to use included a bunch of trans people and he did make efforts to correct that once he knew, the bottom line is, he doesn’t owe anybody access to him.
And to those tossers who keep bringing up Alex Jones’ continued presence on Twitter and not being banned because he supposedly hadn’t broken it’s rules, guess again. CNN contacted officials at Twitter with examples of posts where he had broken their rules over and over again (https://money.cnn.com/2018/08/09/media/twitter-infowars-alex-jones/index.html). Twitter is decidedly hypocritical when it comes to what content it will block. If the person doing the harassing has sufficient followers that their posts generate a lot of traffic, they will allow it with claims like they have “news value”. There’s a good article about this in the Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/12/twitter-last-major-host-for-alex-jones-rants-why-does-he-get-to-break-their-rules).
Anyone that claims that blocking such bottom feeders is trampling on their right of free speech hasn’t read the Constitution very closely. It only protects the people’s right to free speech from the government. Twitter and other social media venues are companies and as such have full rights to determine who shall be allowed to play in their sandbox. Also, your right to free speech doesn’t include being protected from the backlash to the shit you say. Alex Jones deserves every bit of the smack downs he’s gotten. He and Donald Dipshit have made this country substantially less safe for POC by normalizing hate, bigotry and misogyny. The white supremacists (who try to hide their roots and love of Nazi ideals by euphemistically calling themselves “alt-right”) have been emboldened by the Dumpster. So, yeah, both of these men deserve the vitriol directed at them.
I’m beyond sorry all of this has happened to you. I appreciate your choices and am considering following that no-more-social-media example – especially because this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while…
Wil, I think this is the first time I have commented, although I have written comments but never submitted them. I have followed your blog for years. You let me know it was ok to be a geek and even relish in it. Many of the games I own are ones you highlighted on “Tabletop” and before Critical Role there was TitansGrave.
But more importantly, I respect you deeply for what you have done as a husband and father. I’ve been divorced and remarried and have two step kids of my own, one of which I am going to soon adopt.
It’s very disappointing and frustrating having to deal with unhappy people who thrive on the misery of others (I have my ex to deal with constantly), but realize, there are far more people who like you and respect you. They just aren’t as loud as the douche-bags.
Keep a stiff upper lip.
Look, I don’t think you “deserve” this, as no one does… But how many internet hate mobs have you participated in? Alex Jones didn’t break any rules on Twitter, so guess what? He wasn’t banned. Being banned because people falsely reported you, or just your mere presence is making others upset because of who they think you are… Well, THAT SUCKS. I personally think Alex is a crackpot, and probably not a great person, but that doesn’t mean he should just have his free speech taken away… Because that’s a slippery slope, and someday, it can totally be you. This is a great way for you to realize that “Do unto others as others would do unto to you” is a far better motto than “By Any Means Necessary”.
It sucks being called a bigot when you’re not. Im sad to see that even when your ‘friends’ all turned on you, you can’t see that you acted exactly the same during Gamergate and again towards your right wing fans. At least I can appreciate the irony of you being so miserable to share the fate you helped inflict on all of us deplorables. I used to really like you.
I wrote a lengthy post… basically saying “nyah nyah” you made your bed now lie in it.
But I’ve deleted it, and I will simply leave you with this.
I hope beyond all hope that this is something that you think on, and really consider. It’s incredibly easy to label people as some of the worst things imaginable, and then sick the mob on them. The mob is relentless; it doesn’t care about your position, it doesn’t care what the truth is, it’s just a big game of us vs them.
Think about some people out there who have been labeled as terrible things, and mobbed so much that they simply “threw their hands in the air” as you put it. They gave up on trying to talk and find commonality. Instead they chose to vote for someone who would punch back. Someone who isn’t a good person. Someone who they know isn’t fit for the position elected to. But when your back is against a wall, and words stop working.
What else can they do?
…Not that.
Right there with you. Signed out of birdsite at the beginning of the month, been a member since 07 and it as my fave!
I don’t know you. I’ve never met you. I’m convinced you’re a good person though. Don’t let the bastards get you down, fellow human.
At least there’s this: your life is far more valuable than your online presence. So have fun.
Yeah, we’ll miss you terribly… blah, blah, blah. Sucks to be everyone who’s not Wil Wheaton, but what’s best for you and your own mental health is what’s best, period. You’re stronger than most of us, anyway.
See you, space cowboy.
You know, the begging of the end was when you grew so sensitive that you created a twitterbot to blocklist anybody who said “Shut up, Wesley”. To hear you whine about how unfair it all is and how horribly you’ve been mistreated is epic justice to me, someone who was one of your friends who you discarded for the sake of your sore spot for those three words.
Stop whining, Wesley.
I have a Facebook account and all I want to see are puppies, kitties, kids and grandkids and photos of my friends’ fun. I have had to “unfriend” some users whose political posts were hateful or not researched, just sensational. I follow you on Goodreads which is a good place to interact with good people. It isn’t the same form as Twitter or Facebook, but readers tend to be thoughtful and kind. Maybe you can just stick to Goodreads and screw the rest!
I love you, Wil. You give me hope and encouragement all the time and I want you to keep being vocal . I know the jerks are hard to ignore but your voice does good in the world. Thank you for being you. .
I am quite dismayed to hear this Mr. Wheaton.
You don’t deserve such malice. I wish you the best, and perhaps will pen a snail mail fan letter when times allows
You’re great! Stay classy and don’t give social media another minute of thought.
There’s a reason why I don’t bother with Facebook, and you’ve nicely encapsulated it. I’ve always considered Twitter to be a broadcast medium, not a conversational one. It’s tied to my gaming blog to post ‘Here’s a new post from this blog’ messages, and I read one Twitter stream: John Kovalic’s. That’s it.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned, social media is anything but social.
Oh, geez. I’m sorry that was so miserable for you. You are definitely not the terrible person they’re claiming. I think everyone who has ever read your blog knows this.
I know you say you don’t want to try social media again– and this is definitely not me trying to convince you otherwise!– but if you do ever end up wanting to try another place, I’d like to recommend Pillowfort? It’s a pretty tiny site (still in beta), kind of a mix between tumblr and livejournal, which was built explicitly with the mindset of prioritizing privacy controls & giving you lots of options for blocking things you don’t want to see. It doesn’t allow harassment or Nazis.
Again, definitely not trying to say you need to be on social media!! But if you (or anyone else reading this) are interested, I have a few beta keys I can give out.
I agree on your stance. The only reason that I am still on The Bird is that I follow a talented group of amateur meteorologists for my area.
Your sharing about depression has really helped me with mine, and is appreciated. So don’t quit talking to us.
The only think I have to complain about is the lack of new Tabletops 😦
I have my kids hooked and we play games at least once a week now.
thanks man