About ten years ago, I was stuck, professionally, and doing my best not to freak out every day about where the next mortgage payment would come from. I was doing moderately well as a writer, but I wasn’t earning enough to sustain myself and my family, and my acting career was … well, if it were a patient in a coma, we would have been having serious discussions about pulling the plug to end the suffering.
Everything changed when Bill Prady called me, and pitched me on playing a version of myself on his series, The Big Bang Theory. Believe it or not, I didn’t instantly say yes. I felt like playing myself meant I would only get to do one episode, nobody would care, and the industry wouldn’t respect me for it because I wasn’t playing a role. So I called my friend John Rogers and asked him what I should do.
“YOU SAY YES YOU DUMMY WHY ARE YOU EVEN CONSIDERING NOT DOING THIS?!” He hollered at me, throwing much-needed cold water on the doubts and fears I had unnecessarily created in my fucked up head.
So I thanked John for his advice and guidance, called Bill back, and accepted the gig. A few days later, Bill called me back and carefully told me that the character had changed. Now, the version of Wil Wheaton I would be playing was, and I quote, “Delightfully evil.”
Now I said YES without hesitation. I was playing a character, just like I wanted to, but I was the only person in the world who could play him, because he was literally a version of me.
That week on the set was the best week of my life. I was already a huge fan of the show, but by the time I was wrapped, I was an even bigger fan of the cast and crew. Everyone treated me with kindness and respect. They made me feel so welcome, like I deserved to be there, like I was a valued member of the show. One of the producers told me “I hope you had a good time here, because we are definitely bringing you back for more episodes.”
That was awesome, but I’ve worked in film and television long enough to know that people say things like that all the time, and nothing ever comes of it.
Only this time, it did! A little while later, they brought me back for another episode, and then another and another and then it was ten years later and I’ve done like seventeen episodes. Along the way, I became good friends with the entire cast and most of the writers and producers. Along the way, they welcomed me into their family, and made me feel like I was as important to the production as anyone else who works there. They accepted me and always made me feel like I deserved to be there, like I was valued, like I was not someone who had done under twenty episodes, but who had been there for every moment of every day. It has been a remarkable experience, and the greatest joy of my professional life. Personally, it ranks second, behind my marriage and partnership with the best person on the planet, Anne Wheaton.
Last night, I took what is probably my final curtain call in front of an audience at Stage 25. There are only 9 episodes left, and the math of it makes it unlikely there will be another space in any of the stories they have left for my version of Wil Wheaton.
And while that breaks my heart, it’s really okay. Things end, and I’m always grateful to be sad at the end of something, because it means I am grateful that it happened.
When I was a kid on Star Trek, I never had the emotional maturity to appreciate it. I loved my cast mates, and we were a family, but I was just too young and immature to fully appreciate what we had, until it was gone. For years, when I thought about TNG and my space family, I felt shame and regret. But I finally got to publicly express my love and gratitude to them at a big TNG reunion panel in Calgary. I got a second chance that I never thought I would get, and I made the most of it. Since then, I can look back on TNG with fondness and pride, instead of sadness and regret.
I wasn’t going to let 25 years go by before I got to share my gratitude with the cast and crew of Big Bang Theory, so yesterday during a break in camera blocking, I stood in the middle of the set, and I took a minute to tell them all how grateful I am for the years of love and kindness they have all given me. I thanked them for making me feel like I’m part of their family, and for being my friends. I did my best not to cry, and I mostly succeeded.
We went back to work, and over the next hour or so, pretty much everyone from the cast and crew came up to me and made sure I knew that I didn’t just feel like part of their family, I was part of their family. Every single person who talked to me told me they will miss me as much as I will miss them.
Over the course of the day and night (we tape in the evening after rehearsing and camera blocking all day), I was able to share meaningful and joyful (and tearful) moments with everyone in the cast, and most of the producers and crew. I was able to directly express my gratitude to all of the people who have been such an important and wonderful part of my life since we shot my first episode, way back in 2008.
I’m so sad that the show is ending. I’m so sad that, in just a few short weeks, they’ll start tearing down the sets and preparing Stage 25 for whoever is going to move into after we leave.
But I am so grateful that I’ve had the privilege and honor to spend nearly a quarter of my life working with and becoming friends with these amazing humans.
The episode we shot last night will probably air in 3 to 4 weeks, and it’s likely to be the last time we see Formerly Evil Wil Wheaton in his natural habitat, but as you probably saw from the pictures I posted from the set, I could not have asked for a better and more wonderful way to bring this incredible chapter in my life to a close.
My life and career are in a much better place now than they were ten years ago. I feel happier (recent kick in the face by my damn Depression notwithstanding) and I feel better about my career choices and opportunities than I have in a long, long time. Being part of this show, and forming friendships with my cow-orkers there has been a very big part of that.
Thank you, Bill Prady and Chuck Lorre, for giving me the opportunity to be part of your creation. Thank you, Steve Molaro and Steve Holland, and all the writers, for always giving me the funniest stuff to perform, and letting me play a version of myself who is so much cooler than I am. Thank you, Mark Cendrowski, for always directing me toward my best possible work, and for making me a better actor. Thank you, Anthony Rich, and everyone on the crew, for creating such an amazing and joyful and supportive working environment.
And thank you most of all to the cast for allowing me to be part of the family. I don’t know what’s next for any of us (I hope you all take a deserved vacation) but I want you all to know that I love you, and being part of your stories has been a gift, an honor, and something I will cherish for the rest of my life.
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Your episodes are the best ones
<3 We will miss them, and you. I love that show, and always look forward to the episodes you are in.
I’m so very happy for you! They made you feel like you deserved to be there because you do! They are blessed to have had you there!
The gratitude you are expressing is so wonderful to read.
Thanks so much for sharing these thoughts with us. It is so wonderful to be able to cheer you on from the bleachers as you score your victories!
“Things end, and I’m always grateful to be sad at the end of something, because it means I am grateful that it happened.” Thank you for this amazing reminder, that applies to so much if we just let it be our perspective. I really appreciate being reminded!
Your fan,
Chris
Well said. As sad as we all will be to see the end of the show, I can’t imagine the feelings you and the cast and crew are experiencing. So happy for you that it ended as positively as it began. Here’s to more of the same in your future!
Classy and heartfelt as always.
I hope this gives a roundhouse kick to your depression. Because this is so great, so lovely. There’s always an element of luck in situations like this, but there’s also the truth that they wouldn’t have asked you on to the show in the first place and then brought you back repeatedly if you hadn’t been YOU. Because you wore your geekiness with pride, because you did Tabletop, because you’ve encouraged people to not be dicks while showing you have the acting skills to play a dickish version of yourself. Because you’re generous and kind, people have paid it back to you. You’ve earned this.
Thank you for your time on BBT. Every episode you’ve been in have been a joy to watch because of you. They stand out just that much more. Loved loved loved your character from the first line. All the best for the future.
Watching you on Big Bang was always a pleasure. Maybe they can spinoff Evil Wil into his own show!
Beautifully put❤
Quick editorial comment: you might want to fix “cow-orker”. It’s a trivial typo, and I’m sure you didn’t mean that, and it harkens to Dilbert/Scott Adams, which I’m sure you also didn’t mean to do.
This is really really cool. I’m so glad you got closure. I can’t wait to see the episode!
You have never seen a cow be orked? For shame!!
See Wil? You really ARE a valued and MUCH LOVED person! Your stupid Depression can go suck an egg.
Wil, great post and you should be justly proud of both your struggle and how you have fought it. One questions because I don’t know: no similar feelings for the time on Eureka? I really enjoyed seeing you in that. That, Like Big Bang, was like running into an old friend.
On a separate note, did you decide anything about Vancouver? You and I talked about it at Emerald City.
I can’t wait to see more of Big Bang Theory and Wil Wheaton!!! You are part of our family here watching and enjoying. You’re doing a GREAT job at being Wil. Take care!!!
I have loved every episode of BBT. Thank you for giving your all to the show, to your fans, and your cast mates. It shows!
❤️
Oh, Wil … now you’re making me cry. I’m really going to miss this show and especially the times when you are on it. ❤❤❤
SeaMonkey Laurie
Feeling so fortunate to have had the opportunity to read your missive. You are indeed a wonderful and thoughtful man. I am so pleased to be here sharing with you. Thanks so much for sharing.
Damn, Will, but you are a classy guy. I’m tearing up right now just reading your words!
Beautifully said, Will. I’m so glad you’re in a better place now. Depression and anxiety are sneaky bastards, as I am well aware. You are so talented and amazing and deserve to be happy and successful in anything you do.
One of the funniest scenes I’ve ever seen on tv is in TBBT when Penny says there’s a bit in the Serial Ape-ist sequel where she has to oil-wrestle an orangutan in a bikini, and then the reveal of who plays the orangutan. 🙂
I always enjoyed your work on Star Trek next generation. In that vein I own many of the costume you wore on the show. No one was happier when you appeared on the big bang. I always look forward to your episodes. Congratulations!
Thank YOU Wil, for the laughs and memories. My wife and I also attended a taping of “The Wil Wheaton Project” back in 2014, and it was delightful. It was equally wonderful seeing you exercise your comedic chops on TBBT.
All the best!
What a wonderful experience to have had!
<3
I am going to miss TBBT. It’s been a part of our home daily for many years ( thanks to reruns ). My teenage boys have been watching the show ( starting much sooner than they probably should have ) and it has been a bonding experience. With it all came you and a new tangent for us to explore as a family. Thank you for saying “yes” and being a part of our lives. All good things come to end and we must figure out to move forward – hope we find you on our TV again in the future.
As soon as you mentioned you teenaged sons… 🙂
My son is 14 and think TBBT has been on his whole life. I, too, wondered if he had started watching it too young. But when people would ask what he wanted to be when he grew up, as a toddler he would respond, “Sheldon Cooper.” Lol.
TBBT has been a bonding experience for us, as well (although now my son plans to go into engineering, and we know what Sheldon thinks of that!).
I’ll miss the show, especially Wil Wheaton’s cameos.
Blessed Be.
You write well, Wil. Thank you.
Evil WHEATON! You will be missed.
I would not mind a Wheaton spin-off.
I don’t think I’ve ever told you this.
When I tell my friends who are my age, give or take a decade, that I know you and I’ve worked with you, mostly it’s your child/young adult roles they want to talk about, and usually Wesley, because most of my friends are nerds like me.
When I tell my friends’ kids, and my own nieces and nephews, that I know you and I’ve worked with you, it’s almost always the same response: “You mean that guy from Big Bang Theory?” And then they start telling me about their favorite “Evil Wil” moments.
Never doubt that you’re part of the family. Never doubt that you made an impact.
Class act, Wheaton.
Wow! Thank you for such funny, wonderful, endearing performances on the show, they were lucky to have you there and better for your paticipation.
TBBT is my favorite show, and you’ve made it even better. I’ve loved every episode you’ve appeared in, evil you or not. (Any chance of a Professor Proton spin-off? Because I’d watch the heck out of that. LOL)
Hello Wil! What a wonderful article!
First of all, I think having you on the show was a stroke of genius, and being a Trekkie, i was THRILLED when you went on Big Bank Theory.
Second, I am so glad for you that you had this experience with people who appreciate you, and thanks for saying yes!
And finally, I wanted you to know that (and I learned this from earning a Bachelors in Theater Arts) the characters I invest myself in.become a part of me. That which you practice expands your own personality. So you get cooler with age.
So proud to watch you maturing and expanding your boundaries. All will be well Wil. All will be well.
❤️ that is so great! I was hoping you’d be back this season m. I was flipping channels a few minutes ago and landed on Big Bang, as you do… and like usual it was one with you. And penny was turning into a gorilla! Delightful. 🙂
The episodes in which you appear are definitely my favorites. Will miss the show and will miss seeing you on it.
My son (he’s 14) and I love your cameos on TBBT. We were so excited to see you on “The Guild”, as well. We look forward to seeing you in the future. Perhaps on the Star Trek reboot with Picard? 🙂
Thanks for sharing Wil. I loved your first book and the honesty you shared about feeling marginalized by some folks earlier in your career, and am so happy you’ve recently had a truly wonderful experience on set where you felt valued. Peace and life to you Wil. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and I continue to be so grateful you exist.
Hi Wil,
What was it like working with Shatner after your debacle with him years ago?
If someone were to write a Wesley Crusher story, with him as an adult, would you play him?
Will? This family has always loved you (my husband, me and all 4 of my kids who are now ages 19 -32) Our world has been made more beautiful by your being in it. Happiness to you and Annie always…
I’ve been the beneficiary of several such heartfelt professional goodbyes, and they truly kick my inner lies to the curb. I used to be embarrassed by them, and I’d work hard to unwind, second-guess, discredit and invalidate them, but now I simply let myself soak in them, like a warm bath, in the moment. As you so eloquently shared.
So, the real goal is to put yourself in places that demand your absolute best, then see what happens. Generally, this is a recipe for both success and appreciation.
As I approach the end of my professional career I get fewer such opportunities professionally (though not yet zero). So I’ve piled on the volunteering, and in many ways I’ve become a very “professional” volunteer. Here are some examples:
– I’m a triathlete, and I coach swimming and running to beginner adult triathletes.
– I tutor STEM subjects at a local “continuation” high school filled with folks who were failed by regular high schools.
– I’m a volunteer usher for plays at local theaters (San Diego has awesome, world-class theater).
Each of these demands the best from different parts of myself, and each has its own rewards. There is nothing like the hug from a triathlete you coached as they cross the finish line of their first race. Students who suddenly “get it” will pretty much never say thanks, but they don’t have to. Helping a theater patron through a panic attack can keep them as a patron, despite the trigger of a particular production.
This comes despite my total suckage at romantic relationships, my low tolerance for being around strangers, my easily triggered depression and anxiety, my need for lots of “alone time”, and my general nervousness and insecurity.
But give me a real role to play, one that needs to be fulfilled, and I’ll throw myself into it. So long as I don’t have to rely on being “me” out there alone, I’m good!
If I have a “coping strategy”, that’s it. And I can honestly say I now have a wonderful and blessed life. Who’da thunkit, given the basket-case I once was, and occasionally still am.
Wow Wil, your words made cry. I thought you were fabulous on the show. I only hope to see you again in something else, like say a cameo on Patrick Stewart’s new show?…
You are part of History Wil,One of the best TV Shows in a number of years and You were a Good part of why it Was/IS so awesome. I am sad its going to end that show,But you dude will forever have that on your resume.
Thank you for this. As a fan of yours since before Star Trek, I appreciate that you were willing to share this raw and heartfelt experience and insight with all of us. As much as I’m sad to see BBT end, I’m excited about what the future holds for you!! Thank you, and best wishes!!
Thanks for sharing. Maybe there’ll be a future in the next Stargate series if it comes?!
Thank you Wii Wheaton for 1) letting us see the wonderful human being you were fortunate to become; 2) for saying ‘yes’ to joining the Big Bang; 3) for reaching out to connect with us. As my husband and I like to say before putting another day behind us, “want to do a bang before bed?” 😀
No innuendo intended (add on to last post).
Oh and loved the pics from the show!
This is beautiful, well said ♥️
Love everything I’ve seen you in! You always give it your all.
Thank you, Wil! I wasn’t really into BBT that much the first years, but when you appeared, it was must see. Over the years, I really enjoyed the piccadillos that Sheldon would get into to get back at you or try to, but there was always that wink in your eye that meant you got a kick out of being the Roadrunner to his Wile E. Coyote. Thank you for taking us along for the ride!
Thank you so much. I have loved watching you since Stand by Me, but Evill Wil has been my favorite. TBBT AND SPN are my families 2 favorite shows. We have watched for years. That each show has an amazing actor who openly and honestly shares the struggle they face from depression has done so much for my family, especially my child with major depression. It means so much to us.