70 thoughts on ““I’m full.””

1. I love “I’m full”! I might have to start asking my friends “Are you full?” As an extrovert, it’s hard for me to get too much of my friends and I actually feel myself crash when I leave friends (and work, because I work with awesome people). But since most of my friends are introverts, I try to be mindful of their needs and I’m never hurt when they need to get away for alone time.

2. Oh man, I get full and I totally get it. As someone who goes back and forth between depression and anxiety, it’s tough enough to go places to be social, but staying past by filling point is too tough. I raise a glass to all of us, who recognize that self-care is job #1.

3. I hear that. I was away last week for a wake and a funeral. I was not alone and surrounded by people in mourning. I was so overwhelmed and drained I could not even cry. When I came back I could not modulate my voice or show emotion. I didn’t even want to talk to my mother who insisted on calling me all the time. We had had an argument and she would not admit she was wrong. It was horrible. I don’t often listen to myself and escape.

4. I so relate to this. What a great way to put it into words.

5. It’s true. As a fellow sufferer of anxiety/depression, I understand and practice this too. I need to do it more often.

6. Synonymous with I’ve had a enough. Good job. I’ve gotten off a titanic before a proverbial iceberg.

7. I completely understand. I am an extrovert who likes being around people. My wife is an introvert. She is deffinitely the one to say “I`m full”. It took me many years to really understand her mindset, and now that I do, I feel we have a better time out. She let’s me know her limit and we don’t stay out beyond her comfort zone.

8. Sigh. So true. For me, though, it means always being able to get away from interaction when needed, for as long as needed.

   A side-effect of this is that I must live alone, which allows me to recharge and become able to deal with the world outside my home.

   It limits romance and relationships, but the alternative is far worse for both myself and those near and dear me.

   My career as an engineer, however, has proven ideal. Even when I’ve had to share an office, it’s not considered at all odd that I wear headphones much of the time. And I don’t get overwhelmed by interacting with my IDE and other design tools, nor with my lab equipment.

   However, the worst part is that I’m actually a very good communicator, so everyone assumes it’s one of my strengths, which leads to overload.

   No, that’s not really the worst. The very worst is that I’m also good at flirting. Which is fun when it’s a brief and safe game, but all too often I have to backpedal and apologize when someone takes me seriously and expresses real interest.

   My theme song was written by Adam Ant. You all know the one.

   Despite all this, I’m very glad I do get to do so much with people, despite having to do so in tiny doses. My favorite socializing is going out to dance, since nobody talks on the dance floor!

9. Oh hell YES.

10. I’ve heard that phone batteries recharge better when they are occasionally depleted. But I think sometimes people feel that they need to run their own “batteries“ down completely before they recharge themselves. I mean, that’s why you can have the battery percentage on the phone so you know when you’re low. It’s important to recognize when our own “battery” is running low so it doesn’t have to take as long to re-charge from 0%…figuratively speaking, of course. 🙂

11. I’m trying my best to self care, Wil. Trying not to lose it as I just lost my insurance as my services were no longer required at my previous place of employment.. Uber and Lyfting in the meantime but yeah, it’s hard….. But I am trying my best. As the Japanese say, がんばって! (gambatte, try to do your best!)

12. Good for you, Wil, for knowing when you’ve used up your “we” time and know when you need “me” time.

13. How do you deal with “I’m full” with friends and family? I know that I also get this way – and no matter how politely I excuse myself or quietly exit the scene – it seems like someone is always offended or just doesn’t get it no matter how many times this has happened. Some of these people I care for a great deal – so exorcising these people is not an option.

    I’d love to know some good statements or reasoning that I could keep in my back pocket for “I’m sorry – I can’t be here any more – it’s not you, it’s me.” Something for the “normals” to better grok both emotionally and intellectually.

14. I love this idea! I wish the people in my life—who are experts at setting their own boundaries and requiring people to respect those boundaries—were as equally good at recognizing and respecting other people’s boundaries. When they do it, it’s self care; when I do it, I’m being “needy and/ selfish”.

15. Amen to that!

16. Brilliant.

17. I love the simple wisdom of those words.
    I love my friends in my social circle, but there are days when my inner introvert needs breathing room (doesn’t help that I’m claustrophobic as well). It’s not being rude to simply say ‘I’m full’; same as you would after a wonderful, but filling dinner…doesn’t mean you hated the food, just that you know when you’ve had enough.

    Thanks for that Wil. I’m going to use it.

18. I so relate to this. My husband and I whisper to each other, “My dog light just came on,” meaning it’s time to go home and curl up on the couch with the dog. 🙂

19. My wife and I do the same thing. She is a empath and large groups can drain her reservoir of energy pretty quick so she’ll tell me “My tank is low’ and I know that means its’s time for hugs and goodbyes so I can take her home to recharge.

20. Yep. I do that sometimes during the JoCo Cruise. I either go back to the cabin for a while, or head to one of the quiet zones to recharge. It’s all good!

21. i literally got this as i’m “full” for today….i just can’t anymore….i took a hot shower away from hubby/kid ….. opened my email, saw this and completely resonated <3

22. I’ve always had a problem with extreme fatigue during social interactions, especially in crowded places. When I was in college, I discovered the “Irish goodbye” technique (I think the kids are calling it “ghosting” these days) and it became my trademark move at parties and get-togethers. Sure, a few people think it’s weird and rude… but they usually get over it, because I’m also “that guy” who always brings a good bottle of wine, so cheers to them.

23. Well said, Wil!

24. I totally get it. There are times when I just don’t want to be around people (even my own parents; I still live with them and on top of that my mom has Alzheimer’s and requires round-the-clock care, so I’m around her most of the day) and I just have to close myself off from everybody and everything to feel ready to face the world again. It’s a very introvert thing; we don’t get energized from being around people, we get energized from solitude. It’s always a good idea to learn to recognize when you’ve hit your threshold, saves you a lot of trouble later.

25. I’ve been ‘stuffed” ever since my wife passed away. I venture out once in a while but I’m not really interested with very social interaction.
    I have come to cherish my alone time very much.

26. Agreed. Thanks for reinforcing something I’ve been needing!

27. My wife and I use that too, although not in exactly those words. We basically made a deal, fairly early in our relationship that either of us can just “call it a night”, and it’s just time for us to go home at that point. No judgment.

28. I absolutely agree. When I’m full, I’m full. And the people who really care about me, who love me, understand that, no offense taken.

29. Long ago someone told me to learn to say, “No,” and that it was alright. I’m so happy that you know your limits and can stick to them for the best mental health. You are my idol! Keep on keepin’ on, Wil!!!

30. Good on you. And good on you as a couple for working out ways to keep you both satisfied.

    I’m an extrovert. So it takes a while to get full from social interactions, but boy do I get full on a sensory basis. Noise, too much light, too much physical proximity, and I’m just worn out. I wonder how many of the people here who don’t like crowds, have sensory overwhelm issues?

    1. Yes! As an extrovert, I feel drained when I’m alone and when I part from friends, but I also have to be careful about getting overstimulated by my physical environment and the emotions of everyone around me.

31. Or just come later. I drop of wife and kid, then go and get a nice cup of coffee somewhere quiet. And when that’s finished, which can easily take an hour, only then do I join the party.

32. “I’m full,” is way better than toughing it out until crying under a table seems like a good idea. (To be fair, I was 9 and the bride and groom hadn’t even arrived.) overload fistbumps

33. I completely get this & what a brilliant way of expressing it to Anne when you’re out. Curious, do you find that you reach the “I’m full” stage more now than when you were younger or are you just more aware of it now? Asking because I seem to tolerate being out & about less. I’ve just turned 48 but I’m also on disability for depression, anxiety, migraines. Wondering if age the isolation of living alone is contributing to this or if I have just become used to being alone (aside from my treasured furbabies) and I should push a little more because it’s not being full, it;s getting to used to very little social interaction.

    1. I feel like, the older I get, the fewer fucks I have to give about what other people think when their opinion conflicts with my self-care. Luckily for me, I don’t really have anyone in my life who judges me for my emotional and psychological boundaries, but it wasn’t like that when I was younger. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve worked to curate a small group of kind and loving friends who are supportive, so when I’m full, the people in my life understand and let me do my thing.

       1. I think aging is having the same effect on me. I don’t want the 2nd half of my life to be more of me not engaging in self-care and being so unhappy. I need to work on the friends thing, a two prong task, because I really don’t have any at the moment, not that aren’t on social media, so when I am ready to put myself out there, I can choose wisely at that moment. I’m getting practice, teaching my father about my limitations. Amazingly, he seems to be starting to catch on.

34. Very true and very concise but its a thin line between saying ‘im full’ and cutting yourself off from your support network and trapping yourself in isolation

    1. Somewhere, I read about the difference between solitude and isolation. I enjoy solitude from time to time.

       1. Carl Jung said that “the cure for loneliness is solitude.” That always made lots of sense to me. It was great seeing you Saturday by the Droids… thanks for your generous spirit and big heart!

35. Absolutely, Will! I go so far as to just politely decline invitations to outings and social events beforehand. Slowly we are dismantling those old pressures that can be so harmful. Good family and friends understand. We all want the best for each other.

36. Amen!

37. There was a shirt at a ThinkGeek store that I really wanted to get for my wife. In large letters it said “You read this shirt”, in smaller letters “That’s enough social interaction for today.” She has to modulate her intake of major public social interaction, so I definitely get where you’re coming from.

38. It’s an important part of self care to give yourself permission to do what you need to be well. I find your posts supportive and inspiring. Thank you
    April

39. Abuse and manipulation come from a place of control. He’s talking about self-awareness & self-care. Also, he never said he prevents Anne from doing things, he said ‘when it’s time for me [him] to leave’ not both of them.

    Have you had a depressive, anxious, or even very introverted person in your life? I feel you might not understand where it’s coming from. And, the people who care about you will let you go, or come with, or work to try and understand which times they need to come & which times you’re okay by yourself. Because they care about you & your well being.

    It can feel manipulative, sure, but that doesn’t mean it is. If you’ve experienced abuse or manipulation in your life I can see how it would read that way, but the motivation is completely different.

40. Hey Wil, I totally understand (as does my husband when it happens to me).
    On a mostly unrelated note, I’m reading “How to Change Your Mind” by Michael Pollan, and he talks about a possible way to treat depression. Just a thought, in case you haven’t read or heard about this already.

41. At 6am this morning I opened your website and read “I’m Full.” I felt a really weird mix of connection and shock. I’ve been using the phrase “I’m full” to my wife for several years now, for the exact same reason. What I’ve had to work on is realizing when I feel that way, it’s information, not something to dread. I can feel myself running out of space and either try less intense spaces or just leave. My friends and especially my wife understand this and are supportive. Grains of understanding take time to build a construct to help navigate this illness.

42. Definitely gonna start using that one. My current go-to is the ol’ “I’m done”, but “I’m full” feels somehow more positive. 🙂

43. I say “I’ve turned into a pumpkin” and like Cinderella, my party dress has turned back to home clothes and its time to go

44. That’s a good way to put things. I usually use something like “I’m all socialed out” or “I’m all funned out.” Fortunately, my friends ‘get it’, and let me wander off for a bit to get a quick recharge. They know they can find me close by, usually in the company of silence and a cat or two. Contrary to what some would think, it’s not as if I expect anyone to give up on the fun they’re having because I need to recharge and digest what I’ve just been through. Having someone dragged along with me on the ‘alone time’ that I need defeats the purpose of ‘alone time’.

45. King Of Sharks 🦈 you are so good! Medicine of the Shark 🦈 my Medicine Woman Mom taught me was that 🦈 Sharks are Hunters and I also learned they must keep moving or they will die! Keep Swimming Wil! Just Keep 🏊 Swimming!

    🦈Blessed Be King Of Sharks!

    🧜‍♀️💦BUFFY

46. Understand 100% Wil,when I start to feel stressed in social situations I just escape to my safe place,Panic attacks can come from No where for me.

47. Thank you, Wil. This is a helpful addition to my vocabulary. For what it’s worth, you’ve helped me a lot with your blog. Thanks for being you.

48. Wow. This is brilliant. Thank you. I am currently suffering from things being too Peopley, yesterday. I regret not telling my Mister that I was “too full”.

49. You have completely misunderstood me. I never stop Anne from doing anything she wants to do, and she never stops me from doing something I want to do. We each have our own personal limits, and we respect each other’s limits. That’s a big reason we’ve been together happily and joyfully for 23 years.

50. Yep, I’m a classic introvert too – if I’m around people too long I get peopled out. Then I go home and recharge. This has nothing to do with what my anxiety or depression are doing to me at any given moment, it underlies all of that. Thinking of it as being full is a different perspective for sure – thanks for the idea. Either way, suffice it to say that my weekends are generally very quiet, and I like them that way.

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