117 thoughts on “i exist”

1. You know, I don’t read your blog because it is written by Wil the Actor, or Wil the Celebrity. I read this blog because… you tell the truth. You are one of the only voices out there who actually, honestly talks about how crazy and difficult (and at times lonely) it is adulting in today’s world.

   In a way, your posts remind me of George Carlin, who’s voice I sorely miss. I didn’t listen to him so I could laugh, I did it to hear someone finally say the goddam truth, even if it was painful to hear. Especially if it was painful to hear. But at least (sigh) I knew I wasn’t alone in thinking those things.

   I hear being afraid of losing the acting — but what if the acting, was just the preamble to this, your next career. Not living your life on the internet (heaven forbid, that sounds awful), but writing and talking about what it means to try to be an adult today. Man, I would definitely read THAT!

2. I was really glad to see this show up in my inbox this morning. 🙂 I’m sorry for the damn lead apron. I hope you have a few more good days soon.

3. I understand about wanting personal time since you really put yourself out there. Your openness is a rare thing. It is incredibly helpful to so many without a voice. Your mental health talks help me with my depression and anxiety. You are making a big difference. THANK YOU!!!

   I only say be careful you are not isolating. You know all about that I am sure. You sound like you have a handle on it. Again, thank you so much.

   1. You matter more then you realize to lot of people.

      For me its your instagram posts that make tough days good and good day better. Your posts on your blog and your pics on instagram are all very relatable.

      I often look to you when a friend needs help. I recommend that they read your blog and it has help them.

      3 of my favorite things – Your character on BBT (I wish to see you more on camera!!), your book memories from the futurecast – Can request volume 2?? and audio books (Red Shirts).

      I look forward to your blogs. I have purchased your e-books (store stories). Your limited edition hardcover book unforunately is out my price range atm.

      Anyway Thank you 🙂

4. Just for the record, Wil, I miss seeing you regularly in this blog and on YouTube (the places where I mostly interacted with your work). I enjoy hearing your voice on Scalzi’s novels (until I forget it’s you a couple of pages in, of course).

   Your fans care about you and the stuff you make. I hope one day you’ll believe us!

5. Just wanted to let you know how I could feel my face light up when I saw something new on your feed in my NewsBlur app. I almost said aloud, “Hey! Wil Wheaton!”

   I also signed up for Exist.io as soon as I finished reading your blog entry, because I’m a huge data nerd (by hobby and by profession), and that sort of data correlation is what I’ve been waiting for (since I don’t really have the time to mine and analyze my own data as much as I’d like).

   My depression manifests more as apathy than a silent You Suck (lately, anyway), but I can still relate. Within the last couple of years, I sought help from my doctor and got medicated, in good part because of you and the experiences you’ve shared. So, thanks.

   You matter.

6. I’m not sure if you’ll see this and if you don’t, I hope you see a comment that says something similar. On the days you’re not being ‘productive/creative’, you still ARE being ‘productive.’ I consider days like that to be ‘self care’ days. Self care is just as important as your writing or painting or doing the dishes or laundry. You’re being productive by putting time into yourself, even if that’s sitting around playing a video game or binge watching all of the Hobbit and LotR movies. Sometimes our brains just need a break from stuff, even stuff we love, so it can process or not process things. Our brains like to rest, too.

   Also, please know that you ARE missed and that you ARE loved, by family, friends, and the internet. YOU are the reason I went to a therapist a few years ago and YOU are the reason I started taking meds for my depression and anxiety. YOU are the reason that I’m not wallowing in that pit of darkness, having panic attacks, and thinking of ending it all. YOU helped me understand that it was ok to treat my mental illness. We all have those days and those thoughts, but please know that you are making a huge difference in the world and that you are loved. Be kind to yourself. <3

   1. This made me cry. Bless you, SW, and Wil too.

7. I miss you when you don’t write. Our friendship is pretty one sided, with me consuming things you write and you having no idea I exist, but know that your writing, your honesty, and your life – it all does matter, and a surprising number of people take something away from what ever you choose to share.

   Days are an arbitrary length of time to measure your productivity. Some days are not “productive”, but maybe they’re what we need to recharge, or just to exist and be ready to fight another day and “produce” the next day. And some days are just for enjoying life.

8. Hi Wil, Thank you for sharing the thoughts and experiences of your daily challenges. The honesty and sincerity in your posts help me in my own struggles with depression, anxiety, and the temptation to give in to existential despair. If it helps, I’m thrilled whenever I see a new blog post here, or when a new Radio Free Burrito episode drops. More of each, please, when you can (no pressure).
   I know all about feeling worthless in the face of non-productivity. I lost my job recently, and what should be a golden opportunity to write and be creative while I’m looking for a new job has instead morphed into a tug-of-war stalemate between my need to create and my duty to devote myself entirely to the task of providing for my family such that I tend to do the minimum for both. Your posts ARE helpful and motivating, to me at least. You have many accomplishments to be proud of and to leverage for inspiration and courage going forward. Courage, Good Sir!

9. I’ve been hit by a deep, life-altering depression accompanied by panic recently, and I’ve been off work and feeling really useless. I got up this morning, ready to empty my inbox of stuff that used to interest me and doesn’t anymore. To be fair, that includes everything except breathing. But you wrote this marvel of an essay and…er…GODDAMMIT, WIL WHEATON, you wrecied my plans! You wrote something meaningful and important and accessible and…er…thank you.

10. Wil; One thing you’re wrong about is believing that nobody cares and nobody misses you. Although I’m not someone who comments (this will be my first time), I check almost every day to see if you’ve posted on your blog and I DO miss you when there’s nothing from you there. I’m an older person (77 yrs) in Canada who has been a fan of your work ever since “Stand By Me”. I’ve followed your blog ever since I found it a number of years ago. So… even if you feel like you’ve nothing big to write about, let us know how you are, or whatever. We do care. We do miss you when you’re not here.

11. The internet is a funny place, Wil. If we allow it, it can allow us to share our lives with others in ways that can be genuine and meaningful. I so greatly appreciate having gotten to know you through your writing, and I do miss you and think about your health, mental and physical, when you don’t post for extended amounts of time. I don’t do the obnoxious demanding fan “when is he gonna give us more?” thing, but honestly only go to “I know he struggles, I hope this is a good absence and not a bad absence.”

    Depression lies, and anxiety sucks, and brain chemicals don’t listen to our wants, desires, or needs. I’m glad you’re finding ways to help yourself – therapy, drugs, friends. Your Internet-friends are here when you’re able to join us, and there’s a pretty nice collective of positive energy/good thoughts/well-wishers backing you up in your efforts to be the best you that you can be, not the best you that anyone else wants. Take care of yourself. Thanks for letting us know how you’re doing.

12. Thank you for your honesty. Seems like the middle of our lives is when we are ready to unpack trauma. We are strong enough to face the trauma despite the depression and anxiety that always seem to come along for the ride. I am 72 and I started to unpack the trauma in my forties. From my forties on life got better. I knew who I was and why I was.c it does not mean that I am never anxious or depressed but it does mean I know things will get better. You are amazingly strong. And very gifted. You can act, you can write, you are an artist in many ways. You raised two wonder boys and you are a great husband. And you can make sourdough bread. I hope you can rest in the joy of your gifts as you decide what is the next big adventure. Hugs fro man old lady and I hope that does not sound creepy.

13. I loved seeing you again after your time off. You were missed! I always love your posts as I’ve loved all your work in various fields. I’m always so happy at your successes and advancements! It gives all of us the courage to keep trying to fight the demons in our own lives. I bought one of the shirts with your picture all over it. I hope you got some cash from that! 🙂 Sooo many people comment on it when I wear it, and it starts a wonderful dialog on “loving Wil Wheaton”! Take care!

14. The link to your web page is #4 in my favorites bar. I usually check all my favorite sites in order everyday (OCD MUCH??). So right behind- YouTube, Facebook, and Reddit- I have your blog. I noticed you hadn’t posted in a while and I clicked on your link probably 25 out of 30 days in June. I want you to know that I do miss your content when you are gone, but I do understand what you are going through. My wife suffers from severe anxiety and depression and it took me a long time to learn how to properly support her in her struggle. I had to learn that it isn’t my job to make her happy, or to fix her problems. And it isn’t my fault she is sad. My job is to be there when she needs me, support her when she needs “alone time” and help her see the patterns that I see so that she can choose to make adjustments. I recognize your need for “alone time” and respect it, but like so many of your fans and followers, we are here for you when YOU need us. no judgement, no expectation, just support.

    P.S I too feel like rubbish when I am not productive

    1. This pretty much mirrors my own experience: checking in with the blog Mon.-Fri. to see if anything new was posted. Not to guilt you; just to let you know that I was actively seeking your writing. Hope that helps!

15. Hey Wil. There’s about 5 websites I check regularly. 2 of them are news sites, then there’s penny arcade, the bloggess, and you. So as others have said, your absence was noted. I think what I’ve always found interesting about your site is that you pulled back the curtain and showed everyone what was really going on behind some level of celebrity. Yeah, you can doubt and debate the celebrity all you want, but the plain fact is that you’re a famous actor who writes honest stories about your life. And your stories are interesting to me because they’re not the kind of thing we hear from your peers. But yeah, I agree, it’s a bit like living publicly, and maybe you’re not in a place where you want to do as much of that.

    My best advice? First, accept that people are interested. You wouldn’t get traffic if they weren’t. The reasons they are don’t really matter from that perspective, although they matter for other reasons. Second, ask yourself what the blog means to you. My guess is that it’s a complicated relationship – but at the end of day, what do you get out of it? Is it still useful? Does it help in some way, or does it just feel like a burden? Because if it causes more grief than happiness, perhaps it’s time to move on. Just because people like it, and are interested, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.

    I’ve been a writer all of my life (professionally for 20 years). And one thing I’ve learned is that it’s the writing that matters. I suspect that’s why you started the site in the first place. It’s therapy – sometimes you just need to get it out, and writing is an effective way to do that. What doesn’t matter is where the writing goes after that. Yes, it’s nice to have an audience. Yes, it’s even nicer to get published. But I don’t think your blog was ever really about that. I think it was about self expression and self exploration. Admirable things. But the danger of the blog is that you start getting caught up in other things that matter much less, like how many people cared about what you wrote. Sort of doesn’t matter, because the writing was for you to begin with, wasn’t it?

    So my suggestion is to worry less about whether people will care. Honestly, Wil, you’ve made lots of posts I didn’t care about. That’s not an insult, that’s just me being real with you. But I still come back, and I still read what you’ve written.

    But I also understand the pressure that’s involved in that. And perhaps for you it’s greater, because what you write here can impact your career. And that must always be in the back of your mind and make you worry. So there’s that – I have no answers for that, other than being true to yourself and your values.

    But recognize that you’re free to make decisions about the blog. You run it. It doesn’t run you.

    Anyway, this ended up being way too long, but maybe something I said will resonate. Hopefully. I don’t know you Wil, apart from what you’ve written, and I won’t pretend we’re friends or anything. We might not even get along if we actually met. But regardless, I hope you figure it out. For what it’s worth, you’ve inspired numerous complete strangers to try to help. That’s something right there.

16. Thank you, Wil, for sharing this. I am the type of person who will curl up under that lead blanket of depression, and though I will want to get up, I never really know how. And let’s just say that my bed has started looking better and better lately.

    I will absolutely give this app a try. I will do it for myself, my husband, my kids. They inevitably suffer when I start to feel myself slipping, which always makes me feel even worse. It’s like a merry-go-round of bullshit, and it never shuts down. The pressure is building, and I can’t figure out a way to bring it down.

    One thing that I feel the need to point out to you, sir, is how giving of a person you are. The fact that you are so willing to help others in moments when you feel like you cannot help yourself, is inspiring. I do not see you ever slipping away from relevance, because you have so much to give, in many ways. Your contributions to the gaming community, for example, are huge. There are so many people looking forward to reading your writings, as well.

    I do think that you have great potential to change the lives of some people. And that, my friend, is what people will remember when everything is said and done. You are a human being, with flaws, dreams, and compassion. That is why I follow your blog. You are so accessible and honest.

    Sorry for rambling, I think may brain is still trying to wake up. Please thank your friends for me, for developing something that will genuinely help people who need it.

    Jess

17. I totally get the worry that you’ll lose your audience if you don’t post regularly; that is the conventional wisdom, after all. But just know that I’ve got you in my RSS reader, so I’ll see all your posts, no matter how long it’s been since your last one. No algorithm will keep us apart!

18. Thank you Will for sharing,I have been sober for 660 days now..I dont miss drinking that poison Which I call it now. Take care my brother in arms

19. As someone who is 32 years sober, I can say I like my life now and wouldn’t go back to drinking for anything. I, too, had to work with a lot of childhood and teenage trauma and I like your honesty about it. There’s the tendency to think that our teenage selves should have known how to act like a grown-up and it’s simply not true (the human brain isn’t fully developed until age 25). I’ve been reading your blog for years, and admire your willingness to put it out there….

20. Bravo! Your openness is more inspiring than I can put into words.
    I don’t know how or when the negativity I put on myself began soften intensity wise. When I hit 70 years, I was so !@#& amazed I made it that far, I felt a joyous! Unfortunately, the depression and anxiety remain. I’ve wanted to be a writer since the summer I turned 5 years. Other than blogging, I’m not published. I write whether or not I feel good when I do, bad when I can’t or frazzled when words I read over make me ill (I wrote such crap). I am hard on myself in other areas, but writing isn’t one of them. Writing is a release, a place to create friends I don’t have, places I will never go to, a life that never has bad food, always has nice gardens, and the exact sandals I’m looking for. I am so shallow sometimes, but I look at those moments as my tidal pools where I get to explore, laugh without feeling bad, and not bother starfish being starfish.

    I will check out Exist. Thank you

21. For whatever this is worth, I miss you when you aren’t here. And I personally don’t think you’re forgettable, even when you don’t show up for a while. Your writing here has been really helpful for me to see I’m not by myself in realizing that my childhood was less than idyllic when I was in my late 30s and a parent myself. It IS a lot to unpack. You’ll truly never know just how many people you’ve touched and how huge of an impact you’ve made because a lot of people (myself included, honestly) are too afraid to approach another human…even one they know well, much less someone they only know from blogging/celebrity…and say thank you for the positive influence you’ve had in my life. It’s hokey to quote someone else’s writing at you that you helped to popularize, but I’m going to do it anyway. “The most important things are the hardest things to say.” Mr. King in The Body really nailed that, at least for people like me who have social anxiety and an abusive past (that sounds sort of similar to yours) where you’ve been told no one gives a damn about you or what you have to say. But here’s my dorky attempt at saying a hard, important thing, I guess. I care. About what you have to say. I’m just some stranger on the internet, but still. I do care.

22. Add me to the list of those who do notice (and miss your writing) when you don’t write a blog for a while. Take care of yourself.

23. I am glad you exist and I am grateful that you share pieces of that existence with us.

24. OMG Will you crazy awesome man! I never stopped being your fan. When you were on YouTube I was like “OMG HE’S BACK!😄 Please, I know those feelings, I have them often enough but, YOU WERE there!

    You connected with a audience who will never forget you. You reached people who felt different, and let us know we were not alone!😆 Don’t let the narcissists ever take that away. YOU ARE A HERO, and they are just PETTY ITTY-BITTY TROLLS WHO WILL NEVER BE AS REAL AS YOU!

    You showed us despite being different we could do anything, (even got to space! Lol ) but especially, defy the expectations of the pre-labeled box, that we are often forced into.

    Time has passed for me and now I’m a Lokean, I was a pagan since I was 13 oh, but I was not picked up by a Pantheon until recently. Tom Hiddleston is another actor who is incredibly inspiring. I think he helped me find where I belonged, simply by reminding me that there is a God for everyone, even outsiders like me.

    Don’t let the normies in your life win! You can act. You can get roles! They want to stop you, but they suck, and live only for their jealousy. Maybe try starting at the bottom again, or start a YouTube production company. I know soooooo many people wish they could make movies like on Atop the Forth Wall does.

    Better still, start an alternative YouTube so we have a place to go when YouTube completely caves to the bastardized mass media!

    You are my first live action Hero. Always will be. YOU ARE REAL. YOU DID THINGS, AND YOU WILL DO THINGS AGAIN!
    because if you don’t, I will come yell at the assholes keeping you down, in person.

25. Wil, if IMDB.com isn’t lying to me, it says you have a pretty consistent load of voice actor work. How do you reconcile that with your statement that you feel your acting career is over? A voice actor is an actor, probably more so than a video actor, as there’s less room for “stunt” casting of someone famous or pretty. As a voice actor, you’re hired because you can act with your voice.

    Sure, maybe you won’t get many more acting jobs where you are playing “Star Trek’s Will Wheaton playing himself.” Then again, I’m sure you can find any number of cruise lines or Las Vegas rooms that would pay you decently now and then to do precisely that. But who can know what’s next? Many Star Trek fans forget that William Fucking Shatner spent FIVE years on TJ Hooker, making more episodes of that series than he made of Star Trek. But even if you moved to Iowa, changed your name, earned a teaching credential, and spent the rest of your career teaching physics to high school kids, that wouldn’t make your life any less valuable than it is now. You don’t need to be an actor in front of a camera in order to be a whole person doing something satisfying and worthwhile with your life.

    You know the formula. Secure your own mask before helping others. Figure out what supplies oxygen to your creativity and self-worth, and don’t worry about what other people think.

26. Wil for what it’s worth, I do miss your writing. AND I feel like you are entitled to your own space. It feels sometimes like we are unkind to people who bless us with creative work we enjoy, whether they are conventionally famous or “internet famous”. You are not our monkey, you are a generous human who has shared some lovely things you made with us. So I hope you don’t feel like you owe us something when you need to step back.

    I also hope that you count the really generous way you handle tumblr asks from people who are hurting, and the time you spend sharing your struggles with others as productive. They are so important to so many people.

27. Thank you for your honesty, Wil, alone for that you’re one of my favourite humans on the internet.
    About half a year ago I started using Youper (a mood tracker) in order to understand myself better, because university has put me in a not so good mental health state. The longest I have tracked my moods without break was nine days. It is so hard! And I don’t know why. I’ve been avoiding to track and swiping away the daily reminders for at least a month now… Do you have any advice on how to stick with it? And do you have days when you just don’t care about tracking?

28. Thank you Wil. I’m just over 15 months into my third recovery rodeo, and a new consumer of your content. Went to a great recovery brunch this morning, and your post was like going to a really good meeting. Lots of identification, which in the end is what it’s all about. Take care.

29. Wil, I check here often to read your thoughts and for what it’s worth, I worry when you don’t post for long periods of time. I care,and I really hope you can find a way to accept the past and can move into a balanced future

30. Wil,
    I pull up your blog every day looking to see if you’ve dropped another nugget of wisdom or silliness or beauty into this world. Thank you for your honesty about everything you struggle with. It is a huge source of both inspiration and motivation for me. Know that you are wonderful for who you are and that what you’ve put into this world has made it a better place. Even if you don’t add anything else, what you’ve done is enough. You are loved.

31. Hey Wil – I don’t know if you read all these comments, but anyway… I definitely feel the same about “not having anything to say”. For you, that’s your “excuse” (is that the right word?) for not writing here in your blog. For me, that’s my excuse for not keeping in touch with my friends. I am really bad (like most adults, I guess) at keeping in touch with people, if I’m not seeing them on a regular basis. I have a close friend that I used to work with. We sat next to each other at work for a couple years before she quit to take care of her kids full time, and we went from talking every day to talking once a week, and seeing each other once a month. I have learned how to push myself to keep in touch. We make that time to hang out, with the kids or without (her kids are super cute though).

    And I learned something about “not having anything to say”. The more you talk to someone, the more you have to say. I guess because you’re continuing yesterday’s conversation – there are more threads to follow. If you haven’t talked to someone in a month, what are you going to update them on? The entire month? Well, jeez, first let me filter out all the dumb bullshit that happened this month, so I can give them the condensed version… ahhh, but if I’d kept them up to date on all the dumb daily bullshit this whole time, we could laugh that stuff off and continue the conversation from yesterday. And I think (here is where I use my robot or alien voice) humans develop intimacy better through sharing daily bullshit than sharing only the big important flashy stuff (looking at you, social media).

    Anyway, those are my thoughts. The more you write, the more you have to say.

    I say this almost every time I comment here, but – I really do check your blog every day, to see if there’s something new. So keep in touch 🙂

32. Wil,
    Have you ever thought of teaching or mentoring? I think you and your experiences would very valuable resources to young people. You could choose a variety of outlets from acting/business advice to helping young people with mental health struggles. Your need to be creative could be utilized and helping kids is always relevant. ☺️

33. So glad to see your post! When you don’t for a while, I am one part worry for how you are doing, and one part hopeful that you are practicing self-care, or super-focused on a project that is bringing you joy, or just doing other stuff that is feeding your spirit / helping you get to the next good place. And I look forward to when you come back to share, in whatever form that takes, when you choose to / are able to come back.

    ( I know you know (in your clearest moments) that the voice that tells you no one cares if you don’t post (or whatever) is lying to you, but I just wanted to say it flat out so you can store it away for the less clear moments: that voice lies. We care, we miss you, we root for you and/or pray for you, we are inspired by you! And we respect when taking time away is the right thing for you. <3 )

34. I read that story about sobriety on your Facebook page (always happy to see some paragraphs from you pop up in my feed), and it made me stop and think about myself and how I use alcohol. If I think about it objectively, I don’t drink that much. Maybe 2-3 drinks a week maximum; I just visited a brewery on July 1st and brought back 3 bottles & a tall can. Haven’t touched them yet. And yet, I can’t help but think I’d still feel some benefits of Not Drinking. It’s a weird thing.

    I don’t think I’m going to change anything (though I have been meaning to take a dry month, just haven’t gotten to it yet), but I’m glad that what you shared let me stop and think about it.

    Also – thank you for responding to my email re: Saturday Night Ghost Club! That was a real treat and brightened my day.

35. I am going to check out this life hack Wil, very relevant to me being a recovering idiot as well. You will battle through and you can’t beat the fact that you’ve already helped people like me. So hang your hat on the fact you fucking rock!

36. First, thank you for sharing.
    Second, please please never doubt that when you share it is deeply appreciated and when you don’t it is missed – but you get to have a life and good days and bad days, too. So it’s cool.
    Finally, you will not fade out of relevance, we who are your fans will be your fans, and I know I’m not alone in saying this, will remain your fans even if you never act again (although I find that unlikely).

37. It’s taken me a few days to comment here because this post hit me in the feels A LOT and there’s a lot I want to say but don’t feel like I can’t get the words right without getting overwhelmed. Maybe because I’m in my summer seasonal depression, maybe because of other reasons.

    Anyway, I feel like you working on your trauma is way more important than, well, anything. It makes me happy knowing you’re doing that, as painful as it can be.

    I sent you an ask on Tumblr, but it was when you and Anne were attending Hogwarts, so I don’t know if you saw it. But the gist is: inspired by Tabletop, my co-worker and I have achieved something that’s pretty much the biggest thing I’ve done career-wise. You’re relevant and you will always be relevant, in that and many other ways.

38. “it’s so healthy and helpful to realize that I’ve been feeling between bad and okay for only a couple of days. It’s a reminder that Depression lies, and the bad days are not forever.”

    It’s kind of funny because I am always ragging on my (step) daughter to use a mood tracker… she’s bi-polar and tends to walk into her doctor/therapist office and always be in a great mood because she and usually make a day of it and do lunch and stuff. So she forgets that 3 days ago she was a ball of existential fear about the world coming to an end and in a total panic about it and tells the doc she’s doing great.

    It never occurred to me that I could be doing the same in reverse. When I’m down it feels like I’ve always been down and that the last 50 years have been a complete waste of mine and everyone else’s time and energy. But depression lies.

    I guess if I’m going to talk the talk.. I should be walking the walk. Thanks Wil.

39. I missed your posts, I noticed you had not put one up in awhile. I have no right to expect anything of you, but I want you to know that I noticed your absence. Good to hear from you 🙂

40. Hi Wil, missed you!

41. Hi Wil,

    I had noticed your lack of posts to your blog and was concerned about you. However, I had/have no idea if there is any way that is respectful and not at all creepy for a complete stranger to say “Hi Wil, I am worried about you and want you to know that I miss your blog posts. I also can’t assume that depression is getting the better of you right now, but in case it is, depression lies. I want you to know that your opinion and wit matter to me and I look forward to reading your words.”

    I know that sometimes super fans invade your privacy and assume that you owe them something for their loyalty. At one point, you posted something that was a bit like a “if you ever see me in the wild, here’s the best/most respectful way to approach me” guide. If such a thing exists for online interaction, I would appreciate it if you wrote something about it. If not, that’s okay too. You owe us nothing.

    Thank you for the post. Like a lot of us have said, you matter.

    Sincerely,
    Chris

42. I, for one , have missed your musings. But I also understand the need for privacy. So post when you want so I can read it and enjoy your stories.

43. I actually DID miss your posts and wondered if you had a new project or were otherwise engaged. I don’t ever assume that you are in the midst of a crisis or that arch-enemy Depression has struck because I don’t want to risk that my negative assumptions might possibly be passed to you. I realize anxiety is an on-going battle, but I always hope that your good days are kicking the bad days’ ass. I fervently believe that despite your time away, you will never be forgotten. If it feels right to withdraw, I would indulge those urges without the fear that you would ever be irrelevant. You are already an established writer, have inhabited amazing characters for several successful series, are amazingly entertaining in podcasts and audio books, and are a hero in the gaming world (in which unfortunately, I have no first hand knowledge). You have created way too many gems to ever be silenced.

44. I came here because today I was feeling lonely and sad. I don’t have a good support system because, truthfully, I am the one holding up and cheering on my sisters and parents. I guess it’s part of being the oldest. But that’s ok. I love them and I’m glad I can help them and most days I am good – but today I’m just feeling an overwhelming sadness. So I came here because you do exist. And I enjoy reading your blog. You are truthful, and fresh, and honest. And I think if anyone understood how I felt, it would be you. Please know you do matter. More than I think you will ever realize. I didn’t come here because your an actor. I came here because you are a person with feelings and dreams and fears who writes and reaches out to share that we are not alone on this journey. Know that your words were missed in June. Keep on writing and sharing Wil. You will not fade away – we won’t let that happen. 🙂

45. Glad to see a new post. I’m always interested in what’s on your mind, and look forward to new posts. I know when I’m feeling down in the dumps, I go work in my yard and get my hands in the dirt, and it helps immensely.
    I got 20 tomato plants in the ground, among other things, and they help pull me outta the dumps. Good Luck, Wil!

46. I missed your postings on this blog last month, Wil. Thanks for writing this, and for being transparent and honest.

47. I’ve been reading your blog for several years now, finding your perspective on things interesting and you tell a good story. You and I are likely at opposite ends of the political/religious spectrum, but I appreciate your work. I hope you find happiness in the things around you, and your worth to those who love you is not measured in an acting career or number of books written. I hope you find writing in this blog a helpful way to “get your thoughts on paper”, and know that is is read and enjoyed by many people.

48. I can totally understand the need for personal space to just be out of the public eye. It makes absolute sense and I respect your need to do that.

    But, selfishly, I DO miss you when you’re gone. I’m not the only one. And, as someone else commented already – I don’t read you because you’re Wil the Actor or Wil The Writer or Wil the Famous Person. I read you because you’re a fantastic and interesting human being who DOES have things to say (even when you feel like you’re not saying anything at all). Not only do you have things to say, you have INTERESTING things to say. Things I want to read. You are smart and funny and talented. And I know that you don’t express your frustration with yourself just so folks will tell you these things. But I think it’s important that they’re said anyway.

    You are interesting and you make a difference in my life with every post you write.

    Take time when you need to, but know that I (and others like me) will always be here, patiently waiting for that next post. <3

49. 1-I may have to check that app out. 2-I noticed you weren’t posting, Wil. I’ve been limiting my screen time mostly successfully, but I still noticed. 3-thank you for sharing that. I have a buddy who is ninety days sober today, and it’s been seven years for me. I was not a frequent drinker, but I went from some to none, and I don’t regret it one bit.

    1. PS:

       “The single most consistent factor in how I feel about myself and my day, on the 5-point scale, is how productive I am. If I fuck off for a whole day, I feel shitty about myself. If I’m not being creative, or doing something that makes me feel useful, I feel shitty about myself. When I do things that are productive, like writing, or getting a lot of adulting done around the house, I feel better about myself.”

       This. So much this.

50. You have more in common with others than you realize. Welcome to the family. We feel you. 🙂

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