Sunday afternoon with my family.

This whole pandemic is hard on everyone, in a lot of different ways. I’m incredibly lucky so far, and I don’t have to worry about food or going broke, but I’ve been *really* feeling how I don’t have loving, unselfish parents in my life who I can lean on, and get comfort from, while I do my best to get through all of this.
 
Yesterday, LeVar organized a Zoom thingy for all of us from TNG, because normally we would be together for Marina’s birthday, but obviously we can’t do that this year.
 
For about 90 minutes or so, we all hung out, visited with each other, loved each other, laughed our faces off, and felt connected, as a family.
I didn’t realize until long after we had ended the thing, just how much it meant to me to be with my family, the family that loves me unconditionally, unselfishly, simply because I exist. I’ve been so focused on being a reliable husband and father, I haven’t had a moment to exhale, and just be a son who is scared and anxious and needs parents to just tell him everything is going to be okay, and who will acknowledge that he’s doing the best that he can.
 
I got all of that from my Star Trek family, at a time when I didn’t even know just how much I needed it. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for weeks, and yesterday, I exhaled for the first time.
Image
 
And can I just take a moment to observe how totally cool it is that we were using a real technology to be together, a technology that we used to pretend was real, for our job. I can’t prove that video conferencing like this exists because of Next Generation, but I can certainly choose to believe that we played some part in inspiring the engineers who developed it.
 
Wherever you are, I hope you’re getting the love and support that you need and deserve. We’re all going to get through this, together.

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91 thoughts on “Sunday afternoon with my family.”

  1. My career is in technology, and I’ve said to more than one person lately that it’s really cool that we’re finally getting to use all of the technology that we’ve spent the last 15 years building. We put in a bunch of really cool tools into our organization a few years ago, but no one was using them…. until now. Now, everyone is like, “Oh cool! I didn’t know we could do this!”

  4. Thanks for sharing this. I feel like I should go and hug my parents now. We live in the same household and I’m really glad that I can take care of them in this time.

  7. I hear you, Wil, and know how you feel. I have had no contact with my family in over a decade, and it was the best thing I ever did for my mental health. I was abused from childhood to teenager-hood, and when I had my own daughter, I said enough pretending. I get so melancholy seeing other people (and honestly watching too many Hallmark movies) with loving families, but I’ve made my peace with not having it. My biggest goal was making sure my own child was safe. But still, I get the “having no one to lean on” deal, especially when you’re a parent. Hope you and Anne are doing well 🙂

    1. Jennifer, I’m the same almost to the letter. It’s been almost a decade since I went no contact with my abusive parents. My extended family and life-long mutual friends ‘took their side’ for want of better words. I have made my peace and my children are safe from their abuse. However I have no one to lean on in times like these. I miss my Grandma (passed away) and wish she was here to protect and hug me again. Wil, thank you. Just simply thank you for being you, for being honest, for being so human.

  8. You may not have chosen your family, but this family has chosen you. I’m grateful you have such wonderful people in your life and that you got to spend time together. When I think of what we have now, when 40 years ago was the first time I even touched a computer (good old Wang!), I have to think everything is going to be okay!

  9. This is wonderful I’m so glad this happened. You need to be able to feel cared for and find social where you can. I live about 30 minutes from “that” Life Care center up here in Washington, and my synagogue is 5 minutes from it, so we stayed home and they shut down right away. First thing the synagogue did was set up services and get togethers on Zoom, for adults and kids too. Yesterday a bunch of us drank coffee and tea and laughed and talked about nothing and everything for over an hour, it was wonderful!!

    1. I was going to, but it’s already all over the internet because of the screenshots the rest of the cast posted. shrugging guy emoji

      1. Oopsy… folks at Penn State have been having their online classes Zoom bombed… fun fun…

  14. I think it is great that you are all still friends. I know it is easy for people to drift apart.

  15. My favorite part of this is that you are literally in the middle of them all, like a great big family cuddle puddle. I’m so happy you were able to get what you needed and spend time with your family, Wil.

    1. Now I want a video of them singing the Brady Bunch song. They’ll need a 9th person, though. Whoopi, maybe?

  19. I want you and your STNG family to know that your performances helped to get me through a very difficult time in my life (6 years fighting depression.) The show enabled me to escape out of my world and into a world full of hope that I seriously needed to believe in. I have had the privilege of meeting some of you (in the case of Wil, twice.) You all seem to be very kind, sincere and personable. I can see why you find comfort in each other’s presence. I still think STNG was the best of all Star Trek and re-watch the episodes often, especially if I need a break from the pressures of today/ I wish you only the very best and to express my great appreciation for your work!

  20. Just so cool. My friends and I have been playing D&D5E and board games on boardgamearena.com via Zoom a lot lately. I bought my own account on Zoom so my wife and I could see our kids and granddaughter safely. This post is so timeline, since we did this on Saturday. And, just finishing Picard and seeing the genuine warmth between people like Patrick, Johnathon, Marina, Brent and Jeri I can totally believe you all stay in touch and are close. So cool.

    We have “relatives” and we have “family.” I chose my family and treasure them as I can tell you do as well.

    LLAP.

  21. I saw this on Twitter and the two thoughts that I had were 1) Just as a fan, it was great to see “the crew” together and 2) I was so happy to see you there and in the center of the image that I saw. I’ve been reading this blog for what, almost two decades now? (Holy cow.) I can remember the posts you made about your struggles with being on the show and with leaving the show and where you fit in and how you came to terms with a lot of it and celebrated the parts that were beneficial to you. That has been a really meaningful example to me of how we don’t have to be defined by any one part of our lives, good or bad, and we have the potential to grow and be better. To see you happily be a part of this Trek family just sums up so much of that story in one image. I’m glad you had that experience, and I’m glad you and the other members of the cast shared it with us.

  22. That’s beautiful! Many of us have suffered through not being able to rely on the family we were born into, and learned the true value of the family we choose.

    I’m roughly the same age as you, and when I watched TNG as a kid, it really helped me to see trustworthy, compassionate adults on my TV screen. Even though it was just a show, it gave me hope to imagine a world where people made better choices than what I was seeing in real life. I’m so glad to know that the bond between you all was real and has lasted all these years.

    1. I’m so happy to see the collage pic of you with your real family. I also have found new family because my family of origin was never there for me. I’m so thankful for us to have made our own and thank you for sharing this, Wil😘😘😘

  24. Thank you for this post Wil. It made me smile and sometimes even that can be enough.

  25. I was one of those engineers that was inspired by ST:TNG, and other shows of the time. I worked in the very early days of streaming audio/video over the internet, back at RealNetworks. ST:TNG clips were used all the time for testing! If you ever used the RealPlayer, and early Windows, Apple Streaming, there was a bit of me in there, (along with the work of about 20 other people.)

  26. It looks like Sir Patrick and Mr. Dorn didn’t get the facial hair memo… 😉 Thanks for posting. SOmetimes people need to be reminded that it’s OK to lean on family sometimes, and also that “family” doesn’t require a biological relationship.

  27. Hi Wil. What a wonderful post! I firmly believe that my friends are my family. They are the people you choose and they love you. I don’t really have a blood family but I have the JoCo Cruise family, of which you and Anne are a part. I also have my work family. FAMILY IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT TO BE. I hope to see you next year, and please stay safe!

  29. I saw this when Anne retweeted Marina’s post and it just made me smile. As an adopted kid, I always believed that family was more than blood and I’m so glad you have your space family to look after you.

  31. This is wonderful! For some reason I started hearing The Brady Bunch theme when I saw the picture lol So glad you got to spend some quality time with your family.

  32. Hi Wil,

    I am sorry that your parents are selfish and aren’t providing you with emotional support. My mom is selfish and hateful, too. She hasn’t asked me once, how I am doing throughout this. I have checked on her a couple of times. My dad reaches out to make sure I am doing okay. I told him if he needs help getting food to let me know. He lives down in Florida. Like we all know… things are pretty bad down there.

    It is nice that you have friends to lean on. Sometimes our friends are better than our family. I have a couple of instructors at my college who I am friends with. I usually hang out with them in their offices’ when face-to-face classes are going on. Now, we aren’t allowed to do face-to-face learning. So, I haven’t been able to see them. But we do check-in with each other via email. They’re a couple of old boys; I worry about them getting sick and dying.

    This is my last semester at my current college. Not being able to spend the rest of my time their with instructors and friends is really depressing. I relocating to Arizona to study at the U of A-Tucson.

    I have been packing boxes and trying to juggle homework. I packed away my home office, which made me feel more depressed. I guess this depression is my way of mourning. Mourning for the life that I used to have before the Coronavirus outbreak. Finding motivation is like trying to pull teeth. And, I feel bad for complaining about stuff. Because I know there are people in the world who have it way worse than we do. Like those who are living in abusive households and can’t escape their abuser. And people who aren’t able to find or afford food that they need.

    Anyway, I hope that you find some sunshine in all of this. Remember you are not alone.

  34. As someone who hasn’t been in touch with my parents for a very long time, I deeply relate to how much you just want a mom or dad to say it’s going to be okay. I wish I had people like that in my life and I’m overjoyed that you do.

  35. I love seeing this! What a great group to be friends with. And then getting to be part of the Big Bang Theory family is the cherry on top. BTW, I’ve never gotten a chance to thank you. My name is Boyd Morrison, and you were the first person to give me an Internet shout-out for landing a book deal with Simon & Schuster after I self-published my thrillers way back in 2009.

    https://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2009/07/and-the-livin-is-easy.html

    I sincerely appreciated the recognition from someone I admire. Since then, I’ve gone on to publish eleven novels and counting, and I’m now a #1 NY Times bestselling author, which was simply a pipe dream at the time of your post.

    I hope you staying safe and sane during this crisis. It would be a blast to meet you someday.

    Take care,
    Boyd

    1. And of course I put a typo in my post. I’ve come a long way from those humble beginnings, huh? A great example of why I rely so much on my editors.

  36. I’m glad you were able to find a space where you could let some knots loosen up for a while. Stay safe, stay sane. 🙂

  37. Wow, it’s great to see a shot like this, rather than the more usual con panel photos. Everyone looks terrific.

    Is Patrick doing a “Make it so.”? I don’t care what the truth is: that’s what it is for me!

    Of course, it’s probably about coordinating a simultaneous screenshot, but still.

  38. A lot of us who came from toxic origins create our own families, our Chosen Family. When I was little “blood is thicker than water” was pounded into me regularly. Once I was grown, and started to consciously disconnect, I discover that proverb may indeed be a misquote. I say may, because there seems to be a version of the quote in many many cultures. So I chose one that worked for me: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb.” It’s good you have that sort of family, too. Keep breathing.

  39. The older I get, the more I realize deep in my soul that the people we choose as our family as so, so important and it’s heartening how many people are ready and willing to step into that world. What a blessing to have that group of wonderful people to support and love you, as you well deserve.

    As a longtime TNG fan, that screenshot is AMAZING and warms my heart. Thank you for sharing with us.

  41. That’s awesome. Did the same thing last week with my team from work on Zoom. Took a pic just like that to post on our site to show we are still together in the way we could be. Glad to hear that you have that group to make you feel good to be around.

  42. Thanks for helping us stay positive. My thoughts are just a drop in the bucket but know that your bucket is huge and overflowing with respect. My owlbear pin made me smile the other day, so, hell yeah.

  45. That’s so fucking great! I don’t have parents I can rely on. They are pretty immature and the opposite of independent and self sufficient. I don’t have a close relationship with them. They don’t know how to adult an independent kid.
    Anyway. I’m relying like heck on my friends and husband and I have been together nearly every minute for 18 days and still going strong. I’m gonna hug the fuck out of everybody when this is over.

  47. Video conferencing maybe wasn’t inspired by Star Trek, but tablets definitely were. Also, the Alcubierre Drive, which is just missing that one thing to make it work…

  48. Dearest Wil,

    My name’s Rob. You may remember a meme I created: “PRIORITIES: When you have leeches in your underpants, everything else can wait.”

    I so admire and respect you for being able to air your struggles for all to see, and I am thrilled for you every time you get a respite from your demons. Maybe I’ll get there one day, but ’til then, please forgive me for Betazed-ing some of YOUR joy.

    News of your Zoom meeting made me so happy. I met Marina at a con, and she was as delightful as one could hope. What a terrific birthday gift for her. And all of you.

    The fanboying part:

    I enjoyed “The Ready Room” every bit as much as I did “Picard.” It was clear just how much fun you were having with this gig, your interview skills were total Qapla’, and your welcoming of the new kids into the Trek family was especially endearing, because I was with my dad in front of my TV on September 8, 1966. When 1987 rolled around, and I was watching with my then-and-now best friend, I, already a fan of your work, mentally welcomed YOU into the Star Trek family. 🙂

    Much love to you and Anne, and the rest of your family. Peace and long life to us all. ♥

    —Rob Pivarnik
    Stratford, CT
    [email protected]

  49. That is freaking amazing… and the pictures are like a mini TNG episode (for those of us who miss that show so much…). Thank you!

  50. For sooooo many reasons this absolutely is today’s edition of “the coolest thing ever.”

    Also I notice that while many of us, now that we are Zooming all the work things, are keeping it lively by playing with the green screen background image feature, none of you seem to be doing that… too much like work? 😁

    Seriously, thank you for sharing both the fun bits and the serious bits, in this post and in so many others. aaaand now is the bit where I maturely stem the fan’s urge to list all the other things I’d thank you for, this being the first time I’ve written. Thanks for being who you are and doing what you do!

    Peace and joy to you and all those to hold to be Family.

    All the best
    Jim

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