150 thoughts on “I am having the hardest time staying positive”

1. I am completely with you. I’ve been trying to use meditation and a gratitude journal to help, for what it is worth. HUGS to you and the family.

   1. Hey Will, having bad day here too, but you know, it will pass, God willing. Hopefully tomorrow may be a better day for you.

2. I hear you. Thank you for sharing. Big hugs. We’re here, your working and personal groups are closer and there for you too.

3. hug
   That has been my sentiment this week. I’m having a slump. I really miss everything. I miss restaurants and movie theaters and friends and babysitters and school and hugs and all that normal shit. I was okay here and there but have slid right back down to the bottom this week. 🙁
   I feel you. I see you. I understand. You just have to get through today.

4. I hope it is something special and that you are passionate about it.

   Are you going to be narrating Ready Player Two? I don’t think it would feel right if someone else did it.

5. Hey Wil. Sorry to hear this. I know it’s tough right now and I certainly feel that way as well from time to time. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and the current climate certainly isn’t helping anything. But things won’t stay like this forever. Eventually you’ll find something to cling to pull you out of this. You have your family who loves you. You have readers and fans who care about you. Keep going. You can do this.

6. I don’t know if this makes you feel any better, but it seems like a lot of people & kids are hitting that emotional wall this week. I don’t know if there is something in the universe affecting us or if it’s like running where there is a certain point that just feels TOO HARD, but I do not think you are alone in experiencing this. My 7 year old is either super chill or completely melting down with no in between, and this week has definitely been a super meltdown week.

7. You’re really strong to not let those fears enter your door immediately. Thanks for holding them out as much as you can, I’m sure you inspire others. And I’m pretty sure we’ll be greatly entertained with whatever you’re preparing! Sending virtual hugs!

8. This is why I drink. I applaud you for not turning back to that. I’m almost over it, but it’s so damn hard getting over it while living in a renovation that never got finished after Hurricane Florence, hoping I get to finish my breast reconstruction from the cancer I had late last year, but also hoping they cancel the surgery because I’m terrified of COVID. I’m amazed I was able to cut back at all. And you didn’t turn back to it. I recommend one thing, though you didn’t ask. Stop doomscrolling. It’s a thing, and it increases depression and anxiety.

9. I advise my clients ( im a drugs councillor ) break it down if they are struggling, Get through 30 minutes doing something fun, do another doing something else etc – fill the time,talk to people,exercise,play civ whatever gets the time filled in is what matters

10. We are all living in a terrible time. Terrible things are happening. Creating something good bad wonderful matters. The work you are doing brings goodness into the world’s suffering. I too suffer from depression and anxiety. I call them the evil wonder twins. It is just so hard. Solidarity.

11. Thank you Wil for sharing your mental health experiences. You’ve helped me learn about my own issues, and handle them in a healthier way. Thank you. And I hope you feel better soon.

12. A huge virtual hug to you, Wil!!! One help during these times is togetherness though at a distance and to support each other. I set my Wil Wheaton action figure out on my dresser today. I’m not alone! It’s difficult enough in better times, but these days it’s too often like waking up in a horror movie. Things will change; they always do, and we need to hang in there! Thanks for all YOU do! Take care!!

13. We are all together in our loneliness. Thank you for all you do.

14. Hang in there Wil. Try to find comfort in knowing you’re loved, and appreciated by your family and thousands of fans. We’re feeling what you’re feeling and hopefully through that shared dread we will become more like a greater human family. If you need to chat or talk boardgames, movies, comics or existential dread let me know.

15. Hang in there Wil! I know that this is very hard for everyone. We will prevail, nonetheless.

16. I had a couple of hard days last week. On my off days from my day job I run a little publishing business where I can do what I love and that’s help new authors get their books out there. On these days off I couldn’t do anything though. I felt paralyzed. Hopeless. Useless. I find when this happens I just have to get through it, and I did.

    One thing that helps me, are the authors under my publishing company and the freelance clients I work with. I treat them like friends and family and that helps a great deal. In fact one of my best friends is an amazing science fiction author in South Africa! We just released one of the coolest audiobooks I’ve ever worked on.

    I know you are no stranger to working on amazing projects, and I’m sure you have a wealth of friends. Just remember there are people out here who value you and your work tremendous and are rooting for you.

    By the way, I intentionally didn’t mention my business by name, our audiobook and so on. I absolutely do not want this to be seen as anything other than a heartfelt comment.

17. I feel you. I’m feeling it too. I was thinking yesterday that I just haven’t felt happy in so long. And it made me even sadder. Which I then feel guilty about, because I am not currently sick and have a place to live and a job and lots of stuff to be grateful for. But still, this is a fucking depressing time. I’m glad you were able to find joy in working. Keep holding on to that. We’ll all get through this!

18. Speaking on behalf of myself and my family, we are right there with you.

    I’m an ER physician so have been working throughout the pandemic so at least I get to leave the house and interact with others. My wife and son have been in quarantine since March as Ohio was one the first to dismiss in school learning and shelter in place. They are so bored, lonely, and frustrated. I was to have taken my son to our first GenCon next week. Gone. He is set to start his senior year in a couple of weeks and we are weighing the risks of sending him back to sit in a building with hundreds of other kids at a time when Ohio’s COVID-19 numbers are far higher than they were when the school district sent him home for the last time in March. He was named a captain of a swim team he may never get a chance to compete with. It’s our 22nd wedding anniversary today and our grand plans are to get take out.

    I keep telling myself that we are, as a nation, experienceing a collective acute stress reaction. These constant worsening feelings of anxiety, dread, and depression are normal responses to an anxious, dreadful, and depressing situation. Those with anxiety and depression are without a doubt getting hit even harder.

    You are not alone.

19. I’m feeling this, too. I’m trying to create, write, read, and do what I love… but it’s a constant struggle. I don’t have any special solution. I wish I did.

    Thank you for sharing your bravery with us: sharing depression is, for me anyway, hardest when it is at its worst. I try to pretend it’s not there.. but you share it anyway, and there’s strength in that. I admire your ability to do it.

    I see so many of us fighting our own battles lately. I’m trying to have hope that we’ll figure a way out of it.. because we have to.

    1. Here’s some short daily comics I have found that are kind of amazing. They’re small, cute and hopeful things, but… they’ve helped me. I don’t have any affiliation with these artists, I’ve just been sharing their work with my friends and family. Maybe you’d like them, too.

       Foxes in Love (Instagram): @green_fox_blue_fox
       Shitty Watercolour (Instagram): @swatercolour

20. Feeling the same.

21. A work colleague tried to engage several of us (zoom conference) in a discussion of “what do you control, what is out of your control” Thursday… It lasted about 15 minutes of near silence when I finally said, “Hey, folks, I got nothing today. I feel totally out of control.” We all get it, and no one knows the way out to the other side – that mythical place where “normal” returns. Man, I miss what was “normal”! Everyone: hang in there, I do believe it will end up positively, I just don’t know how long we have to wait like this.

22. Hi, Wil – I’m trying to be good about boundaries (you didn’t ask for suggestions!), and also offer support so apologies if this comes off as stilted – I’m learning. Thus: I hear you and see myself in your struggles; thank you for being vulnerable in public. Like you, the times I am not caught up in dread are when I am caught up creating; thank goodness for my studio.

23. I am feeling all this, too. I have actually been surprised at how low this past 5 months has brought me, I thought I was one of those resilient people. Turns out I’m great in a short term emergency crisis, but I start shutting down when it just…doesn’t…end. I would like to thank you about your writing on using tinctures. I hat taking Xanax, my prescribed med for anxiety, because it makes me catatonic. The tinctures have taken the edge off and let me sleep better without feeling blitzed.

24. We’re here, Wil. You are not alone and I’m hoping today will be better for you. Please think, at least for a little while, about all the people you touch with all your performances and games and posts and writing. You matter-we are better for you being here.

25. I hope that when you share your feelings it helps alleviate your burden, at least in some small measure, if nothing else. Please note that we appreciate your candor as it helps us with our burdens as well. Thank you 😊

26. Your honesty is refreshing and it’s good to express it everything you’re feeling, as I think it is nearly universal.

    I not only get down, I bash myself. It wasn’t my fault I lost another job (because of the Pandemic) and debt collectors are coming after me from the time before that job when I was unemployed for 1 1/2 years.

    So I take a breath and think about how people like John Lewis stayed on track for so many years. Sure, he had faith, but what were specific things he did to stay positive through times as rough, or rougher than this.

    I think we have to fight like hell to restore some sense of normalcy, because Wil, so many of us were naive before 2016, we thought democracy worked. Do you remember this old song? It just came into my head:

    The McCoys

    Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on
    Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on

    Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town
    And everybody yeah, tries to put my sloopy down
    Well Sloopy I don’t care what your daddy do
    Cause’ you know Sloopy girl I’m in love with you

    And so I say now
    Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on
    Hang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on

27. We are all in this together, I try and remind myself. I make little lists of tasks I’ve done, laundry, pet care, phone calls, etc, but it never feels like enough. I hate depression, I hate anxiety. I’m sorry they are visiting you.

28. I feel ya. One thing I have found is that doing what you “normally” do in isolation gets old without interactions with others to break the monotony. One thing I have been doing is learning something NEW, something that gets me mentally engaged with a feeling of accomplishment at the end. I won’t go into what I’m doing – it would likely bore most people – but it’s just something…anything…to pass the time productively. We will probably never have this kind of “opportunity” again in our lifetimes (yes I said opportunity), so we should try to make the best of an unfortunate, unpredictable and uncontrollable situation. We do this by taking control of our own situations. You can too. Expand your universe. now is the time. When things get back to normal (or some facsimile thereof) you could have something to show for this sad situation that you wouldn’t have had otherwise.

29. I hope that you find something nice to smile at this afternoon. Love and calm from Chicago

30. I hate those days. I know you already know this, but the things you can do are valuable. Much love to you!

31. Wish i could help you ,but I am not a Doctor nor am I familiar with anyone near to me who suffers from depression . But i can say this What little help I can pass your way . Like being grateful to read your Blog . Sometimes even privileged to read your blog , because you have without knowing taught us of the signs of depression , Gave us hints of what to look for in Our family members for the signs and triggers . So you have made a difference today and someone out there will read this and say Hey that’s exactly how I feel .

32. Wil, I’m so sorry to read this. But as someone who struggles with depression as well I’m also so glad when you share stories like this. You know you are not alone, but just let me remind you of this again. I wished there were something I could do for you.

    Here is the link for my Spotify playlist that I call “Gute Laune” which is German for “Good mood” or “Happy mood”.

    https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7xygwNXlxzb8u33ep4uGxc?si=_JRPe7fvRi-zUTq-EgSniQ

    It usually lifts my spirits listening to that music. I know you are using Spotify and I am following one of your lists. If my list isn’t for you maybe this is an idea to create something for yourself.

    Hope you will feel better soon! And yes, this is a terrible and scary time. Please never stop talking about how you feel. I hope that seeing my and all the other comments hopefully makes you feel a bit better.

    Have a nice weekend!

    Bettina/Betty
    Stade, Lower Saxony, Germany

33. Hi Wil. Thank you for expressing what so many of us are feeling. There’s a lot going wrong right now, but I am glad you still have the opportunity to create something of which you can be excited and proud. There is a huge amount of great art being created in this turbulent void in which we we have found ourselves. I am trying to help others, focus on the positive, and stay strong in my belief that there is positive change coming in the wake of this storm. Hang in there, brother.

34. 🌷

35. I am so glad you are here and so glad you are real and so glad to be able to reflect back to you some of the love you have given me, a complete stranger, through your work, your blog, all the things you do. So much love. I see you. 💜

36. I’m sorry to hear things are a struggle and, yes, you’re right, it’s certainly a common theme these day. I’ll tell you a quick story that may help a bit – we’ve been much better here in Ontario with managing things and are safely entering stages of re-opening. This has allowed us to expand our bubbles and I’ve been so fortunate to spend the month of July at our family cottage in Muskoka with my mom, my wife, and my sister’s family. Last night, we broke out our old DVD copy of Stand By Me and sat down as a family and watched. My 78 year-old mother kept commenting on how much I looked like you at that age and my 13 year-old niece saw the movie for the first time. We all loved it and were connected by your amazing and lasting performance – you connected 3 generations in a time when connections are so needed. Thanks for that – really, thanks. Hang in there, Wil.

37. It may sound strange, but reading your words is actually helpful. I’ve been on the verge of tears all day. I’m hoping that talking about it will help. I know your words helped me feel less alone. Peace and love to you and your loved ones.

38. No wisdom to offer, because my whole life I have struggled with this. I’m often told I “feel too much” or I’m “mister gloom and doom”. It is a product of knowing too much about how things actually work and choosing to look at reality instead of go back to my delusions that all is well. The only thing I do to keep myself grounded is to realize things are never as bad as they first appear, all technical problems have technical solutions, evil thrives on perception not reality and I prepare myself physically and mentally for the day when my direct actions may be necessary. Other than that, I sign petitions, I spam government officials’ twitter comment sections with embarrassing and inconvenient news stories regarding them and their towns/states what have you, I vote , I am fortunate to still have a job so I support various initiatives and organizations financially, in short I do what I can while preparing for whatever comes. My mantra: Anger is better than despair but action, no matter how small , is better than anger.

39. I think we’re all having days like that. Even those of us with work, with comfortable homes, who know we have a lot to be grateful for. I’m volunteering in my community and that’s really helping me. I have never been so grateful to be sober; imagining what those early days of the lockdown would have been like with a craving for booze – awful. But some days everything is so overwhelming that all I can do is disconnect from the outside world, do something creative on my own (in my case knitting) and free up my mind a bit.

    Keep on keeping on. We’re living through an extraordinary time. There is no normal reaction to it.

40. Hey Will, I know how you feel. I work in the UK in a hospital, as a computer geek. Suddenly in March this whole thing hits and I’m being told I need to prepare to be “drafted” into the wards to support the nursing staff – we have our hours changed to work 7 days a week, and we’re trying to come up with solutions to problems we never imagined! I had to spend my evenings cataloguing deaths into the systems because my colleagues were infected and unable to work. It was terrifying, and everyday was a new stress and new depression.
    But you know what helped me cope? In the evenings I’d watch Trek or TableTop – I’d escape – I’d laugh – thanks to you and your colleagues. You made an actual difference – your strength and energy.
    You may not feel it when you are locked at home – but you are genuinely important to me and many others like me. You give us something undefinable that gives us a reason to carry on.
    I’m so grateful for what you have made – I hope you find the strength to beat this shit – but if you ever need to chat just give me a shout.
    All the best mate!

41. I hear ya Wil! The issues plaguing our country weigh heavily upon me every day. I try to take steps to distract me from it all. Right now we are installing a new floor in the basement. It’s not fun but it’s a distraction. I also read a via listening to audio books. Speaking of, one which I have listened to a LOT is Ready Player One narrated by you! I heard about a week ago that Ready Player Two will be released this fall. I fully expect and look forward to hearing you narrate that one as well! (Perhaps that is what you were busy doing?)

    I think you have been doing the right things, so keep at it. Spend time with your family, love them and enjoy them! That’s the other thing I do. I have two little girls who I love as well as an amazing wife. I saw that you were doing the Bob Ross style painting too. I did that and was pretty amazed at what I was able to do! You should do some more as they looked amazing. You have a lot of talent!

42. HI, Will, I have read your posts for a few years, sharing in your fight with depression and working through the effects of having a dysfunctional family. When I think of the pandemic, the lack of leadership, the political divides, etc. it can overwhelm me way too easily. I found one thing that isn’t THE answer, but it has helped me find some focus and safety.

    In May, I started a Morning Practice, which takes just five minutes at the start of my day. I listened to a podcast from the woman who started the Americans of Conscience Checklist (AoCC) and how she uses this. It sounded easy and I definitely was wrestling with fear and depression by that point in the lockdown and looking for how to not explode/implode.

    The practice has four parts:
    1) Today I release . Today I choose
    2. Write a few sentences about how you’re going to try to focus today on how to release that one thing and choose the other.
    3. Divine Delegation (pick your higher power): List the stuff you’re not going to deal with today. At all. Let it go.
    (I’ll be honest, 45 and Pandemic have been on my DD list since May. I give myself permission to not doomscroll or be the person who has all the news.)
    4. I’m grateful for… and write a sentence or two.

    On the other side of the page (I use a small notebook). I write my To-Do list. Walk, sew at least one quilt piece, call xx, etc. I like checklists, and it makes me feel like I’m doing something, even if the day is walk, quilt, read a book.

    This five minutes in the morning has slowly given me a sense of not feeling like I’m going down, It’s a “you only have to deal with today” perspective rather than thinking, oh, gawd, what will this be like in October?!

43. Love you, man.

44. You are very much not alone. There is just TOO MUCH happening, on too many fronts, to handle right now. The fear and sadness and hopelessness is so hard to combat, day in and day out, for so many months in a row. I don’t really have any advice, other than to hold your family close and find small joys and creative endeavors. The system is broken, but a great many people are still kind, caring and willing to work for progress. One of my best friends got tear gassed three times last night as part of the Wall of Moms in Portland, but she was still there and refused to give up. We CAN get through this, if we band together <3

45. Feeling the same Wil, trying to stop the depression but see no way forward right now.

46. Can relate, like I imagine most Americans in particular can. I’m not an anxious person, but after months of a constantly oppresive environment it catches up with you. Went for a run the other day to fix it, and now four days later I feel like maybe I can walk like a normal human again. For now there does not appear to be a real remedy, aside from personal connections to other people that, if brief, can propel me to the next day. Those friends and connections have made all the difference in the world. I don’t feel like there will be a normal to return to, but something new that I hope is better.

47. I have depression and I’m hanging in there with you, Wil.

48. Thank you for sharing this, I would happily hug you if I could (in the hope that you could feel better)!

49. Thanks for sharing this. Knowing that someone else is having the same struggle helps SOO much. I know you know you’re not alone, and I know there is not much I can do to help just by typing this. Damn it! 😉 But, remember to embrace that this community cares what happens to you. When you don’t want to, get in close proximity to those that love you (either with those in your house/pod or virtually) and let them drench you in positivity even if it just lays on top for the time being. It does help me.

50. Keep tapping on the pipes Wil, so the better days can find you.

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