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Mediocre White Men are So. Fucking. Fragile.

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So I’m in Facebook jail again. Because of fragile white men. Again.

Wednesday, I posted this:

And OF COURSE some mediocre white dude had to tell me why I’m wrong for enjoying these tacos. It was such a stupid thing, it was more amusing than anything else. We all had a good laugh, he was widely mocked and ridiculed as he deserved for his idiocy, and we all went on with our lives. But I couldn’t stop thinking about how … exhausting this shit is, how these children run into a room, make as much noise and as much of a mess as they can, and then run just as fast to mommy and daddy when someone who was already in the room is like, “Hey, could you not?”

Anyway, I wrote a post about mediocre white men and their uncontrollable urge to correct everyone all the time, and that post has landed me in Facebook jail. See if you can find the part where I broke a rule:

Remember when that dude was gatekeeping tacos and was really angry about it?

I’m working on a theory that no matter what it is, there is some mediocre white dude out there who will tell you that you’re wrong for liking it, not liking it the right way, and will be angry about it when he does. It literally does not matter what it is. If it’s a thing you like, and you talk about how you like it, some mediocre white dude will show up to be mad about it.

Like, I’m a white dude. I don’t think I’m mediocre, but as a white dude who feels good about himself, I have to at least entertain the notion, right? On account of all the empirical evidence, I mean. I’m a white dude, and I just don’t get mad about stuff like how you eat a taco. Or what you call some activity with a local idiomatic name. It just doesn’t matter to me, and it certainly isn’t worth my time to be mad about it. Sure, I joke about Scalzi’s burrito abominations, and I will stab you in the throat with a french fry if you try to put ketchup on my plate, but none of that is, like, serious.

What is it with mediocre white men? Why are they just CONVINCED that everyone they encounter needs to be corrected for some reason or another? Is there a class or a meeting or something that I just didn’t attend? I don’t have this impulse in my life and I cannot wrap my head around it.

And TACOS? Like, THAT is the thing you’re worked up about? Not creeping Fascism, not Putin’s war crimes, the rampant inequality that is fundamental to the existence of America, gun violence, racism, homophobia, bigotry. Nope. Fucking TACOS, man. I AM HERE TO HOLD THE LINE ON TACOS (also I am factually wrong, but that doesn’t matter because) I AM HERE TO BE THE KING OF TACOLAND. LOOK AT MY DIPLOMA FROM TACO UNIVERSITY WHERE I WAS CLASS PRESIDENT.

…okay, buddy. If it’s that important to you, take this taco outside, and go yell at it until you feel better. If you need to yell a little more, there’s a wall over there waiting for you. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy my taco.

Yeah, I don’t see it, either. I appealed. It will be overturned like it always is. Until then, I guess I can’t TACO ’bout fragile white men and their tissue paper egos on my own Facebook. Okay.

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18 March, 2022 Wil

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in which i discover analog horror → ← The Backrooms and Night Mind

52 thoughts on “Mediocre White Men are So. Fucking. Fragile.”

  1. Beth says:
    18 March, 2022 at 10:22 am

    All hail the King of Tacoland!!!

    But srsly, oy, erk. Did FB think you’re a terrible danger because you offered to stab someone with a french fry? Aggressive, because you used all caps while talking about tacos? Fraudulent, because you don’t actually have a diploma from Taco University? (Or maybe you do! Who else would?) Sheesh.

    I’m not even all that fond of tacos (which means my share of the world’s supply of tacos can go to other, more deserving tacophiles), but I’ll declare the third Wednesday in March to be Sidereal Taco Tuesday just because it’s funny. Why not?

    Also, the little truck is madly cute.

    1. lawoot says:
      21 March, 2022 at 11:50 am

      Little known fact: Jack, from Jack-in-the-Box, did his masters degree at Taco University

    2. Pete Johnson says:
      21 March, 2022 at 12:10 pm

      Never got into any trouble at all on Facebook until April 2021. Since then it has happened like a dozen times, starting with 12 hours and ratcheting up to 30 days, and now it’s 30 days each instance. Some were for things a decade old, like that one night I was in an FML mood and posted my go-to FML meme: Stewie Griffin pointing a pistol into his mouth (at the end of The Bird Is The Word episode) — in 2011. But the bulk of them have been for simply saying things that mocked mediocre white people. After Mike Huckabee tweeted that he was “identifying” as Asian and therefore he would be doing x, y, and z (eat bats, spread flu, whatever), I shared it with my own caption calling him a “cracker”. Another time, a friend and I were joking about how awful the Fox News late-night “comedy” show Gutfeld was and wondering just who on earth would find it funny, I said their target audience was just “white grievance rage monkeys”. And so on and so forth.

      Facebook tolerates holocaust deniers, which Mark Zuckerberg has personally defended on free speech grounds that are based on “We don’t know what’s in their hearts, and they may sincerely believe what they believe, misinformed as it may be.”

      Facebook tolerates the FreeDUMB Convoy planners, the Jan 6 planners, the genocide in Myranmar, QAnon, Plandemic, and countless other things. What they do NOT tolerate is anything whatsoever that speaks truth to power to shitty MAGA people, whether or not it uses salty words.

      Jokes on them, though, since I will absolutely never buy anything through a facebook ad, if my AdGuard and Social Fixer somehow manage to let one slip through in the first place. Whatever profile they have about me is uselss, because I don’t need ads to determine what to buy. I will ALWAYS buy Coke, not Pepsi, regardless of whether they have Madonna, Michael Jackson, or Kendall Jenner in their latest ad campaign, because I prefer Coke and have been aware of the existence of both since childhood. Why carbonated sugar water is the most expensive category of ad spending on earth is utterly beyond me.

      Anyway, Wil I have to say you’re really an inspiration to me because of your warmth and humanity and continually striving to overcome obstacles and talk about them with people. And you’re just very funny and talented. Your hair looks better than mine ever does, even as I am finishing up a haircut.

    3. Omaha Sternberg says:
      28 March, 2022 at 2:33 pm

      “I will stab you in the throat with a french fry” That is surely it.

      Twitter put me in twitter jail for saying this: “You must die now. In dark roast slow drip.” Obviously it was a coffee joke. But algorithms have no sense of humor or satire.

  2. Tarus says:
    18 March, 2022 at 10:45 am

    The only trigger I saw here was “I will stab you in the throat with a french fry”. Silly, but perhaps some algorithm tripped on the “I will stab you” bit.

    1. Mike says:
      18 March, 2022 at 12:25 pm

      Perhaps Will needs to release PSA advocating registration, background checks, etc., to clarify his position on tuber-refated violence.

      1. Rick says:
        21 March, 2022 at 12:59 pm

        What if all all stabbings required the use of french fries. I think that is an incremental improvement of the world.

    2. jesse says:
      18 March, 2022 at 3:10 pm

      FWIW, my impression too, but even at that, ONLY because obviously SOMETHING triggered FB…I mean are tacos a protected class? Fragile White Males (in their minds, maybe…)

    3. Melissa says:
      24 March, 2022 at 4:58 am

      Yep, that was the one I thought as well. Since it isn’t a human reading context, but a computer reading words, this is a threat of physical violence.

  3. Mike says:
    18 March, 2022 at 10:59 am

    That’s what happens when you violate Tucker Carlson’s trademark on “mediocre white dude”.

    1. Elene says:
      27 March, 2022 at 11:12 pm

      Perfect!

  4. Kain Lightforge says:
    18 March, 2022 at 11:10 am

    I think the only that could trigger censorship all the « white dude ». Not that I agree with this assessment, but someone who does not read between the lines could think that you were advocating white as a race (or yourself as superior for being a white dude)

    This is bullshit of course, and I feel the pain, but nowawadays, you cannot say or write something without getting censored by some angry white dude (sorry could not resist the joke!)

  5. Irene North says:
    18 March, 2022 at 11:16 am

    March 27 is my six month anniversary of deleting Facebook. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been wondering if it was the right decision. I lost followers who read my blog and am no longer in contact with some acquaintances. I’ve been debating on creating a new account. After reading the bullshit you just went through, it just reaffirms my own personal decision to leave.

    I’m sorry you had to deal with this Wil. It’s absolutely stupid.

  6. Goz Geek (@gozgeek) says:
    18 March, 2022 at 11:23 am

    I think this is a blessing in disguise. 😎

    The problem is that it’s a lot easier to blame someone or make them the villain than it is to actually solve problems. Partisan politics has gotten bad because it’s a lot easier to scare people than it is to give them hope.

  7. siobhaninvermont says:
    18 March, 2022 at 12:18 pm

    It very likely got flagged for “hate speech” (or something like that) because you said “mediocre white dude” and/or someone reported it because people are nozzles. This happens all the time to BIPOC folks who even use the word “white” in reference to humans. They have to change it to YT or VVhite or something like that to to keep from getting snagged up in the bots.

  8. Mike says:
    18 March, 2022 at 12:26 pm

    It’s all about the advertising dollars. Facebook is beholden to Big Ketchup.

  9. DL says:
    18 March, 2022 at 12:55 pm

    sigh, mediocre White dudes. Why, man, why.

    And we know why you got banned: because FB’s algos are supervised by mediocre white dudes, so of course they are in a tizzy at seeing this kind of post.

    Sorry to hear this happened to you.

  10. Eric says:
    18 March, 2022 at 2:40 pm

    Hard shell or soft shell?

    😉

    1. halffastcyclingclub says:
      18 March, 2022 at 3:30 pm

      That should be obvious and I shouldn’t have to explain it to you 😉

    2. Wil says:
      18 March, 2022 at 3:47 pm

      Just make sure you choose whatever one the Taco Pope over there says is the right one.

      1. Zennish says:
        21 March, 2022 at 7:11 am

        So the Hard Shell Tacoists would be the fundamentalists, and the Soft Shell Tacoists would be the reformed sect…

  11. Hydrohead says:
    18 March, 2022 at 3:10 pm

    Yes, there is both a class and a meeting you were not invited to. They went to great lengths to make sure you never heard of it. Because you are not mediocre. Your attendance would have spoiled there fun.

    1. Eric says:
      18 March, 2022 at 5:48 pm

      So many snarky replies come to mind. But I shall refrain. I do not wish Taco Pope Mark to defer me from my joyous Oculus adventures and activities!

      (Fellow Oculus users shall certainly pick up on my deliberate counter-strategic, resistance-laden choice of words.)

      Meantime, Wil—is that your rack of 2600 cartridges up there?

    2. Eric says:
      18 March, 2022 at 9:34 pm

      Wait—am I seeing things? Did I not see an image of old 2600 cartridges on top of this page? Or another page?

      Nevermind…long day.

      Back to tacos. 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

  12. Julie says:
    18 March, 2022 at 8:47 pm

    I may disagree with you on many subjects…but Taco Tuesday is something people on all parts of the spectrum should be able to agree on.

  13. cometgrrl says:
    18 March, 2022 at 10:01 pm

    My guess is you offended their fragile, mediocre egos and they reported you.

    Facebook sucks.

    I ❤️ your Taco Truck!

  14. Kerri E. says:
    19 March, 2022 at 7:51 am

    Apparently, any negative mention of white people will get you in FB jail. I was in FB jail when I posted about being angry & scared at nearly being assaulted by an a-hole white male in one of those exopenile giant pickups.

  15. Sharon E. Cathcart says:
    19 March, 2022 at 8:36 am

    It was the phrase “white dude” (ask me how I know … 43 hours to go on my current incarceration ::ahem::). FB’s algorithm is set up to protect people who look like the majority of its staff … while simultaneously punishing those who dare to speak out. This is why you see a lot of people writing “yt dude” instead. Not kidding.

    1. Wil says:
      19 March, 2022 at 1:00 pm

      That is an unbelievably stupid phrase to target for automatic account suspension, and it makes all kinds of sense.

  16. MCM says:
    19 March, 2022 at 12:48 pm

    I have no insights, but I wanted to say I am relieved to know there’s someone else out there who feels the same about ketchup as I do. That has always been my third-biggest insecurity, but now I think it can move down a few slots. Phew.

  17. WYPIPO says:
    19 March, 2022 at 7:37 pm

    Until the bots catch up, try using wypipo or yt instead of “white dudes.” But these white dudes who think they’re engaged in culinary white-knighting ought to be held accountable for their blatant act of cultural appropriation of tacos. Aren’t they supposed to stay in their lane and eat bologna sandwiches with mayo on Wonder Bread?

  18. Carla Graf says:
    20 March, 2022 at 12:02 am

    Unfortunately it’s thst you used the words white and dude or man.
    For some reason white is seen as a hate word on Facebook. I know this because I got zapped for the same thing. And mine was just a joke.
    I’m sorry that happened to you again.

  19. fireblossom32 says:
    20 March, 2022 at 5:57 am

    I’ve been enjoying reading you on Medium, especially your piece about “Kara”. Now I found you here. Resistance is futile. Your writing will be assimilated, eagerly. 😉

  20. Auldbreck says:
    20 March, 2022 at 9:23 am

    I feel your pain Will. I am selling my house in Aberdeen UK and I put details of the house on a FB site for advertising property in that area. I have no idea what I did but I have been banned from FB Marketplace ever since. They are supposed to have to tell you what you have done but all they say is that I broke Community Guidelines without clarifying what Guideline they are talking about. The only thing I can think of is that I have been in Ghana so long now (that is why I am selling the house) that FB thinks I live here and I posted the details of the house from here. It is a royal pain.

  21. Adrian says:
    20 March, 2022 at 3:22 pm

    I wrote a song about The Gatekeeper Narcissist, the type you find in Fandom & on the internet. You find someone interested in comics for example, or a TV show, and say I did this thing about THAT thing we like! And they abuse you for it!! And depending how “famous” they are, their followers will join in! Put it on Bandcamp for free download.

  22. cyclops214 says:
    20 March, 2022 at 9:14 pm

    It was definitely the line I will stab you in the throat with a french fry that got you in jail unfortunately Twitter are a bunch of goddamn snowflakes these days and you can’t say anything anymore.

  23. fishymcdonk (@fishymcdonk) says:
    21 March, 2022 at 6:26 am

    probably the “stab you in the throat”

  24. Sdswmr says:
    21 March, 2022 at 6:59 am

    Wil, this reply is off topic, but Cory Doctorow just added your Tabletop post (10 years ago!) to his site, as part of his “This Day in History” feature. Such a great idea and good guests. https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/20/a-walk-in-the-park/#retro

  25. Zennish says:
    21 March, 2022 at 7:06 am

    My theory with people like this is that it’s an emotional intelligence issue. I think the Taco Popes of the world are stuck at a developmental level where they honestly can’t grok that their way is not necessarily The Way, so whenever you disagree with them on any point, no matter how insignificant, it challenges their entire reality.

  26. Justme says:
    21 March, 2022 at 10:21 am

    I’m sure Zuck automatically finds anything with “mediocre,” “white,” and “man” together in case someone is talking about him.

  27. Gary Henderson says:
    21 March, 2022 at 10:26 am

    You used the word ‘stab.’ That’s literally all it takes, now.

    I literally said, “If we can shoot billionaires into space, why can’t we leave them there?” and FB suspended me for one day over my threat to violence. Apparently the word “shoot” is one of their trigger words (see what I did there?).

    Later, I was put in FB timeout for saying “FIGURATIVELY LYNCH THE BASTARD!”

    My most recent infraction was for commenting on a post where the OP said they’d found a giant spider in their basement with this exact phrase: “Welp, time to burn the house down.”

    Three days in FB jail, six without being able to participate in any groups, and 30 days of having my posts “downgraded” in the algorithm so no one saw them.

  28. Summer says:
    21 March, 2022 at 10:28 am

    The only thing this post triggered for me is that now I’m hungry and want tacos.

    Maybe it was the “stab you in the neck with a French fry.” Either for the “threat of violence” or because someone at FB is still calling them Freedom Fries (remember when that was a thing?). Keep fighting to good taco fight Wil.

  29. JJ Goodman says:
    21 March, 2022 at 10:44 am

    I concur with other commenters. It was the part where you got stabby.

  30. Jade Kish says:
    21 March, 2022 at 10:59 am

    Honestly I’m pretty sure it was the stabbing someone in the neck with a french fry comment. I’m not joking or trying to be ironic – FB has rly cracked down on “threats of violence”. I had a post taken down bc I very casually, in a Looney Toons kind of way, reference vehicular manslaughter in the school pick-up line. There are no other words in your post that I can think would trigger their community standard algorithms. Enjoy those tacos, mate! <3

  31. Sandra says:
    21 March, 2022 at 11:46 am

    Im assuming a fragile white dude was on the other end of that. Or that ‘fragile white dudeness’ was programmed into the autofilter by default?

  32. AudiWrencher says:
    21 March, 2022 at 12:25 pm

    Heads Up peoples! It’s not just the menfolk anymore. Everybody can be a “fragile_white_dude” as long as they follow the fragile white dude rules.
    #1: Even though you have no idea what you’re doing, your failure is everybody else’s fault because they failed to babysit you through a procedure that is readily available with a quick Google Search.

  33. Mary says:
    21 March, 2022 at 2:30 pm

    I try to go with a gif, those never seem to get flagged. I told someone to eff off, and am in FB jail currently. Taco are delicious, especially when you deep fry the shells yourself, it’s a PITA, but So worth it.

  34. lynda donati says:
    27 March, 2022 at 6:57 am

    I heard some insightful analysis on this phenomena on the podcast Absolutely Mental with Ricky Gervais and Sam Harris. In S3E9, Trump, Vaccines and the Baby Jesus, Sam offers his explanation of this behavior and its relation to/exacerbation by Trump.

    It’s pretty fascinating. I think Sam’s onto something. I still get angry thinking of Trump, and there is nothing good, right or acceptable about him or anything about him, but at least there’s a glimmer of insight and I feel oddly better. Even if only for a little while.

  35. Elene says:
    27 March, 2022 at 11:16 pm

    Love. love, love the little taco truck! Writing from Albuquerque where taco trucks are all around and tacos are just plain old normal food and as far as I know nobody gets upset about them.

  36. Silas says:
    9 April, 2022 at 5:12 am

    I assume it is because of mockery directed at a group of people defined primarily by their skin color. If one were very algorithmically logical about what constitutes a “racist microagression”, your post would probably count as one.
    For clarity: I do not myself find your post particularly problematic and I’m not some weirdo “activist” against “anti-white racism” or “SJWs” or anything. Just suggesting what might have triggered the FB algorithm here.

  37. Bridget says:
    11 April, 2022 at 2:29 pm

    It was probably the stabbing in the throat comment that tripped up the algorithm

  38. Felix says:
    24 April, 2022 at 10:20 pm

    I’m very late to the party, and sorry about that. Luckily a friend reposted a link to this (well, the copy on Medium).

    We white(*) dudes are raised from an early age to think that 1) we’re oh-so-smart, 2) that being smart is the most important thing in the world, and 3) that people can’t wait to see how smart we are. And that breaks us. We become little monsters. Butting into every conversation. Talking down condescendingly to our best friends. After many years of efforts, it’s been a while since I last caught myself doing that. Hopefully I’m free of the curse at last. For the most part, anyway.

    But then I had the chance to meet a less toxic crowd, and learn better. A lot of people probably don’t.

    (*) It’s been pointed out elsewhere that “white” is very relative when you’re East-European, but when you’re in the ethnic majority of your own country it works the same way.

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