shoutout to my fellow cycle breakers

I don’t celebrate Father’s Day (or any other Hallmark holiday) for reasons that will not surprise you if you know anything about my life.

But I do celebrate all the other children of fuckers and pieces of shit who survived like I did, who broke the cycle of generational trauma like I and my sister did, whose mothers forced them to praise and worship their abuser “because it’s father’s day” like mine did, who fucking hate the endless reminders to celebrate the dad we never had (in my case, because he chose not to be a dad to me like he chose to be a dad for my brother. I guess being a bully was more satisfying to him).

I see you, friends. I see you, and I know you see me, and I am both grateful and sad. We know this secret handshake we wish we didn’t know. We know a very specific kind of loss that only we know, a type of lingering pain that never really goes away entirely, that can only be reduced to part of the background noise, but can crank itself up to 11 without warning.

I just want you all to know that I see you, and I love you. I know how tough it is, how much it hurts.

I want to specifically make meaningful eye contact with all of my fellow survivors who are also dads, who show up for our kids in spite of the pain and loss. It’s such a challenge, and it means so much. We broke the cycle and that is massive. I’m so proud of us.

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6 thoughts on “shoutout to my fellow cycle breakers”

From what I hear, my father was a great coach. As a dad, not so much. I don’t think he understood the difference between fear and respect. I feared him. I see you.

I had the honor of being not only the dad to my kids but also to the friend who spent the night, whose father passed when she was very young. Thanks for being a great role model, and having given me strength.

Thank you, Wil. It means a lot to be seen.

You do celebrate something, just look at your lepel of a Jewish symbol used by Star Trek to mean, “Live long and prosper.” What’s up with that, and what’s up with cue cards to interview cast members on “Strange New World: Inside the Series?” Not something I would expect of an actor who learns lines.