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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

behind his eyes he says ‘i still exist’

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This thing has been happening to me since I built my first blog about 25 years ago, and you’d think that by now it would have stopped, but here we are.

The longer I go between posts, the more SUPER IMPORTANT the next post becomes. This is especially gross after I’ve been promoting something. I feel like I’ve bombarded the world with my promotional stuff, so I ought to give the world something to offset that.

…only when I sit down to do that, the part of me that creates those things is like, “Oh hell no. I’m on vacation.”

So I come in here, day after day, get to about this point in a post just like this one, and then I get frustrated, delete it, and go play video games.

I have to break that cycle, so here’s a little bit of a roundup to put something new here.

Yesterday, I finished building the LEGO Batmobile, which I started months ago. It has some adorable little details that were a lot of fun to discover, but holy shit was it tedious most of the time. It turns out that building vehicles, even one that I have been obsessed with since I was a little kid, is not something I enjoy.

I think I’m doing the Haunted House next.

If you’d told me a year ago that the Stanley Cup final in 2025 would be the same teams from 2024, I never would have believed you, and once again I am cheering for Florida because Edmonton is literally the only Canadian team I just can’t abide. Sorry, Oilers Nation, but fuck Corey Perry.1

Remember Trek Side of the Moon? It’s back, in T-shirt form.

I loved the movie, but am very late to the What We Do In The Shadows series party, so I’m only now getting into its third season. A couple nights ago, I watched an episode that takes them to Atlantic City. Nandor gets completely hooked on a Big Bang Theory slot machine, and is delighted to discover that there is a television series that is “faithful to the slot machine.”2

The thing is … because The Big Bang Theory canonically exists inside the What We Do In The Shadowsverse, that means I exist inside that universe. This feels like an achievement that should come with a badge, and it makes me stupidly happy.3

Late last week,I saw that Loretta Swit passed away. We worked together when I was a kid, and I remembered some things about her.

A friend of mine observed that we are slowly becoming the Elders, and that’s just really weird. I have been thinking about that, and it turns out there is a lot about that I’m not really ready to embrace, like accepting that people I love, who mean so much to me, are getting older (and elderly) with all that implies. It’s just … it’s really weird. At the same time, it feels really good and … gentle? … to embrace a position in life that allows me to be a kind, patient, supportive, and encouraging person in the world for anyone who needs it.

I’m thinking a lot about how I can talk about things from a place of experience, in a way that younger me would have been able to hear and internalize. I want to be a Helper so much, y’all.

I had a meeting with my team to discuss next steps on It’s Storytime. The audience is small but passionate, and growing steadily. I think we’ve found a way to make it break even, or slightly better, while the audience continues to grow. Thank you to everyone who is supporting the show on Patreon, to everyone who has liked and subscribed and whatnot. It looks like the audience is right around 20,000 listeners which seems like a lot to me, and something I feel really good about! But you know what’s crazy? In the podcast world, it’s tiny. Isn’t that nuts?

When I was walking Marlowe, I came across this weirdly bent spoon in the street, so I posted it in my Instagram stories with the caption “If anyone sees Uri Gellar, tell him I found his spoon.”4

I think this is a pretty good joke.

I watched a fantastic film a couple nights ago, about the post-punk scene in West Berlin from 1979-1989, called B-Movie: Lust & Sound. It’s streaming all over the place, and if you like the same kind of music and aesthetics that I do, it’s probably worth your time.

I think that’s all for now. Have a good day, friends.

  1. Also, Florida sent 9 players to Four Nations, and Four Nations was the most exciting and satisfying hockey tournament I have ever seen. So there’s that. ↩︎
  2. I love how this show keeps surprising me like this. The first time, it was throwing the bone off the roof in the werewolf fight. I never saw it coming, and it just killed me. ↩︎
  3. I also exist inside Tommy Westphal’s snow globe, but that doesn’t feel as exclusive. They’ll let anybody into that thing. They let me in there! ↩︎
  4. If you get this reference, that means it’s time to schedule a colonoscopy, if you haven’t already. And make sure you’re getting enough vitamin D, because our aging bodies need it. ↩︎
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3 June, 2025 Wil

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65 thoughts on “behind his eyes he says ‘i still exist’”

  1. C S says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:22 am

    Love it. ❤️

    Reply
  2. Stanton-Anderson says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:27 am

    The Vampire Council in the episode The Trial contains such a wealth of blood-sucker Easter eggs!

    Reply
  3. Craig says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:27 am

    I am super excited to hear that It’s Storytime With Wil Wheaton can continue and keep growing!

    Reply
  4. misangela says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:28 am

    I actually SQUEED when you said the Trek Side Ts were back! I get so many compliments on mine!! I’ve posted about it everywhere! XO

    Reply
  5. Denise Mastenbrook says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:29 am

    Saw you on Celebrity Family Feud recently, loved seeing the whole Trek team. And that’s what I have to say about that…

    Reply
  6. HJ says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:30 am

    The jokes on you, Wil of Wheaton, for not only did I get your bent spoon reference, but verily my colonoscopy is already set for Friday.

    Reply
  7. Ally Warren says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:31 am

    A beautiful story Wil. Such a lovely memory.
    I’ll remember Loretta for her role in MASH, I always like to think ker character was my inspiration to be a theatre nurse,

    Reply
  8. Tim Trentham says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:32 am

    I got the Batmobile not long after it came out. I was also obsessed with that show as a kid. I had fun building it (most of the time) but it did take a while. They got me with the Jaws Orca set as well. Yes, we’re getting old.

    The Loretta Switt post was nice.

    Reply
  9. Victor says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:35 am

    I get what you mean about becoming an elder. I turn 48 on Friday.

    It is that realization that we are all getting older, but the promise of being the person we needed when we were younger.

    As a gay man, I also realize the privilege it is to get older because I didn’t have a lot of elders when I was coming up. So there’s that as well.

    What we do in the shadows is hilarious ! Let us know when you watch episodes 7 and 8 of season 3 — those were two of my favorites of the entire show!

    Reply
  10. thoughtfully87d28dfd6b says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:45 am

    Let me offer an alternative thought. The longer you go between posts the more important you post ANYTHING so we know you’re doing ok. Not to sound creepy but we can start to worry from radio silence.

    Good news about storytime. I do miss it.

    Reply
  11. Harry says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:47 am

    I just noted my Trek Side of the Moon shirt was almost too faded to recognize anymore. It’s one of my favorites. Already ordered a replacement. Thanks for creating this!

    Reply
  12. Neil Hendin says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:47 am

    I once found a spork in the road, and was not sure what Yogi Berra would say.
    (if you get that reference you probably need to schedule your second colonoscopy) 🙂

    Reply
  13. Socolofi says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:47 am

    Thank you for the gifts of Storytime, and the opportunity to crush your spirit once more this season!

    Reply
  14. rhijulbec says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:55 am

    I’m a child of the 70’s, born in 1955. I’ll be in my 70’s this year. So most definitely an “elder”. What? How? And Where did the time go? As a stoner in high school to being an “elder” stoner has been a long ride. It’s had its moments, good, great, awsome, horrible, beyond comprehension and gut wrenching~there has been three daughters, (one deceased Julie Diana 12 February 1984 – 7 April 1984 💔), the two who are living, married with my three grandest of the grandchildren. Widowed in 2022 to cancer (that most dread disease that touches everyone) and now facing my own declining health. But as an “elder” I feel my contribution as a public health nurse (BScN/PHN/RN), wife, mother and grandmother has meaning and I like to think I’ve touched thousands of lives in my time on this pale blue dot, some at the absolute worst time of their lives. I am friends with a few people much younger than myself, who do seriously look up to me for life advice and cautions, which I provide with the codicil that their experience will be entirely different from mine, and to only take what they think will be useful and leave all the rest behind. I’m an atheist so my time here is all I’ll receive and I sincerely hope I’ve touched some lives and made a difference to a few. So to you Wil, may I suggest that take on the mantle as Elder with the knowledge you’ve acquired over your lifetime and continue to be the best you, you can be. So, I’m going to get soppy here~apologizes in advance.
    As I say to my friends young and seasoned~you are the only you there will ever be, so be kind, gentle and giving, because after you’re departed from this life the memories you leave behind are all that remain of “you”.

    Reply
  15. Birgit says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:57 am

    You are a gentle and kind person as well and inspire me to try my best to be like that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Reply
  16. Birgit says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:58 am

    You are a gentle and kind person as well and inspire me to try my best to be like that. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Reply
  17. Craig Steffen says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:00 pm

    Hey Wil!

    I sent you an email about a potential thing to do while you’re in Knoxville in July. I know you’ll probably be busy, but just in case, I can still book it, but I’ll need to soon.

    Thanks for your thoughts about Loretta. MASH was a very important part in my life, and her work evolving with that character.

    I’m looking forward to my next work road trip so I can binge Storytime.

    Take care!

    Craig (@gevmage)

    Reply
  18. Mark H Jackson says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:04 pm

    Will, are you sure there was a spoon? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAXtO5dMqEI

    Reply
  19. Illyria says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:14 pm

    Ahem. Akshually it’s Uri Geller.

    …I’ll go schedule that c-scopy now.

    Reply
    1. Wil says:
      4 June, 2025 at 10:12 am

      OMG I knew that! I swear I knew that! My fingers betrayed me when they were typing and I didn’t notice! I’m changing it right now because I am MORTIFIED.

      Reply
  20. Deirdre Root says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:15 pm

    If you ever wonder if what you write is going to be interesting, I have to say that the Uri Geller joke alone was enough to make my day.

    Thank you for sharing the lovely memory of someone who made an unhappy kid’s life more bearable. She got her wings just for that, I think.

    Reply
  21. Tim Trentham says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:25 pm

    I got the Batmobile not long after it came out. I was also obsessed with that show as a kid. I had fun building it (most of the time) but it did take a while. They got me with the Jaws Orca set as well. Yes, we’re getting old.

    The Loretta Switt post was nice.

    Reply
    1. Wil says:
      4 June, 2025 at 10:11 am

      I have Jaws! I got it on sale, because I knew there would be a day in my future when I’d want to build it.

      Reply
  22. Shannon says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:35 pm

    I am the same age as you, and I’m enjoying this decade of transition. I think it will be nice to be an actual elder, and I’m getting good practice in this less-visible time. I also enjoy the round up updates.

    Reply
  23. Jennifer Taylor says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:36 pm

    Very excited to hear the podcast will continue. I don’t know if the Levar Burton Reads folks still manage his back-catalogue, but sometimes podcasts I listen to that have ended (or on hiatus) promote a podcast to their readership. I wonder if they’d do that for It’s Storytime to raise visibility.

    I love that you’re enjoying What We Do in the Shadows. Fair warning, season 4 is a little rough to get through as the storylines are not as good as the other seasons. But seasons 5 and 6 are worth slogging through season 4 to get to.

    Loved your memories of Ms. Swit. Thank you for sharing them.

    Reply
  24. Josh Neff says:
    3 June, 2025 at 12:56 pm

    This is Tommy Westphal’s world and we’re all just renting space in it.

    Reply
  25. gmknobl says:
    3 June, 2025 at 1:40 pm

    Ef’n eh, Dude! The VERY DAY I schedule my colonoscopy! Yes, I DO get the joke and am grappling with my own advancing age. (Unfortunately, I have you beat by a few years but then there’s the mental and psychological age thing which is another discussion entirely. I’ve always been part of the second lost generation.)

    Reply
    1. Geoffrey Knobl says:
      3 June, 2025 at 2:47 pm

      My own definition of the second lost generation I created long about 1981 while entering college. I felt that the group of people born towards the end of the baby boom during Vietnam. We really didn’t feel like part of the baby boom. I was born in ’63. We saw destruction and strife when we were young and then this notable greed coming from generations that followed thus so many of my friends and I felt lost with no role models as such (unless you had great parents like mine). So many of us felt lost in early adulthood. So THAT is/was the 2nd Lost Generation.

      Reply
  26. Laurie Stoker says:
    3 June, 2025 at 1:54 pm

    Hi Wi! I am always happy to hear from you; in fact, if you just posted what you ate today, I will still be delighted to read about it!!! I just wanted to mention a couple of things: First, I have that Trek Side of the Moon shirt; in fact I was wearing it at a PetSmart store awhile back and a guy came over to me to discuss how wonderful it was. The conversation devolved into how great you are and I bragged about how I met you a few times on the JoCo Cruise. Which leads me to the second thing I wanted to say: You and Anne were always so nice to me! In fact, you got stuck sitting next to me on a bus ride to the Arecibo Observatory during one of the cruises, and you chatted with me for most of the fairly long trip. I’m sure you don’t remember that but it will stay with me forever. Thank you for being so nice to me and all of your other fans. You are a Righteous Dude!!! ❤️

    Reply
  27. Stephanie says:
    3 June, 2025 at 1:55 pm

    Totally understand the Elder thing. I turned 60 in Feb…how can I be 60? I don’t feel it, bodily aches notwithstanding. But every icon death like Loretta’s makes it more real. Not to mention my mom turning 84 in July. But your tribute to Loretta was lovely, thanks for sharing. ❤️

    Reply
  28. Stephanie says:
    3 June, 2025 at 1:56 pm

    Totally understand the Elder thing. I turned 60 in Feb…how can I be 60? I don’t feel it, bodily aches notwithstanding. But every icon death like Loretta’s makes it more real. Not to mention my mom turning 84 in July. But your tribute to Loretta was lovely, thanks for sharing. ❤️

    Reply
  29. Gaijinsider says:
    3 June, 2025 at 1:59 pm

    Colonoscopy scheduled, retro games being played, and now I’ll have to print out a photo of your appearance on St. Elsewhere to sign when next we meet!

    Reply
  30. Amber Kintz says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:09 pm

    I love reading your blogs and reading/listening to/watching your other work.
    How are you able to make a Lego build last for than a few days? I get so hyperfocused on it that it’s hard to do anything else.

    Reply
    1. Wil says:
      4 June, 2025 at 10:09 am

      It depends on the build. Some of them are so complex (D&D) that I can only make it through one or two bags before I need to take a break. Others are so satisfying, I don’t want to rush it, so I choose to do one or two bags and then call it for the day.

      Reply
  31. Bruce Hansen says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:12 pm

    Super story on Loretta Swit. Very emotional.

    Reply
  32. John says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:30 pm

    Presume you are saving yourself for the Lego Enterprise D due to be released in November

    Reply
    1. Wil says:
      4 June, 2025 at 10:09 am

      Can’t wait.

      Reply
  33. Janet says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:37 pm

    There is something about becoming an Elder that sort of takes your breath away. Once you get over the reality that you actually are old enough. LOL! Let us know if Yuri responds. Or if you actually have to explain who Yuri was/is. 😀

    Reply
  34. mollmac says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:42 pm

    “…it feels really good and … gentle? … to embrace a position in life that allows me to be a kind, patient, supportive, and encouraging person in the world for anyone who needs it.”

    You have already been sharing this with the world the whole time you have been writing your blog, even if you weren’t able to feel it about yourself for a long time. Thank you.

    Reply
  35. mollmac says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:42 pm

    I went to your Instagram to see if I could catch the bent spoon on your stories, but it had already gone the way of all Instagram stories, so the truth is… There is no spoon!

    Reply
  36. cheerfully6dcea0101b says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:45 pm

    I think that you should do some freestyle Lego building. More fun to let the imagination do the designing, imo.

    My husband still wears his Trek Side of the Moon shirt often!

    It should make you stupidly happy, it’s awesome!

    Your Loretta Swit story was so sweet, thanks for sharing it!

    I don’t even really want to be a Helper that much, but, I mean, what else can a decent person do, right? So I started a group to build community. We do what we can do!

    It IS nuts!

    It IS a pretty good joke! I chuckled appropriately.

    Good job on the post. You did it!

    Reply
  37. mollmac says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:48 pm

    “… it feels really good and … gentle? … to embrace a position in life that allows me to be a kind, patient, supportive, and encouraging person in the world for anyone who needs it.”

    You have been sharing that with the world the whole time you have been writing your blog, even if you couldn’t feel it about yourself for a long time. Thank you.

    Reply
  38. Chris Uglanica says:
    3 June, 2025 at 2:58 pm

    Sorry Will, but Go Oilers Go!

    Reply
  39. Randall says:
    3 June, 2025 at 3:19 pm

    What We Do in the Shadows is fantastic, both the flim and the show. Since the show run s much longer, I’m more attached to it and its characters (especially Nadja0.
    Also, your lego codplay is awesome. Is that your Batmobile? If not, did you get to drive it? How’d you get the giant skeleton in the background? Is that on a movie lot or something?
    Also, apologize for any typos; I can’t find my reading glasses.

    Reply
  40. John McGregor says:
    3 June, 2025 at 3:23 pm

    That spoon looks like drug paraphernalia that was discarded, unused. Hope you didn’t touch it.

    Reply
  41. chukg says:
    3 June, 2025 at 3:55 pm

    Edmonton in the Stanley Cup finals seems like what would happen if I used a monkey’s paw to wish for a Canadian team to win the Cup.

    Reply
  42. Carolyn says:
    3 June, 2025 at 3:57 pm

    Oh hell, I was already chuckling before I even saw the spoon. One colonoscopy in my lifetime was enough, thankyouverymuch.

    Reply
  43. Nancy in Canada says:
    3 June, 2025 at 4:58 pm

    I adore WWDITS! No spoilers, but Mark Hamill guest stars on an episode, as does Hailey Joel Osment! The Mark Hamill episode is my absolute favourite, and I have it recorded on my PVR as well. I know you’ll enjoy the rest of the series! And I’m so looking forward to the next Storytime as well. Stay cool!

    Reply
  44. jeremyreimer says:
    3 June, 2025 at 5:18 pm

    Wil, I’m SO EXCITED to hear that there will probably be a new season of It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton!!! I listened to the first season episodes as soon as they came out, and I was transfixed by your reading and by the stories you chose. I love science fiction but I have a terrible time finding new authors that I like, and this podcast has not only provided me with new authors to discover, but it’s incredibly entertaining all on its own. I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT SEASON!!!

    Reply
  45. Pansy Petal says:
    3 June, 2025 at 6:46 pm

    Lovely randomness. I enjoyed it. The desire to pass on the kindness and inspiration of a past coworker is such a beautiful goal, and wonderful tribute. I am proud of you. HUGS

    Reply
  46. ckoerner says:
    3 June, 2025 at 7:13 pm

    I love this kind of Wil blog post!

    Reply
  47. Emily says:
    3 June, 2025 at 8:10 pm

    So everyone seems to get the Uri Geller reference, but nobody in the comments has said anything about the Westphal snowglobe, which is surely more obscure.

    As a rabid fan of “St. Elsewhere,” I’ve been contemplating the snowglobe episode since 1988. I suppose that makes me “old,” or at least middle-aged, but whatever. Being a teen or tween in the 1980s means that I have many great memories of iconic television programs.

    Reply
  48. rekoob says:
    3 June, 2025 at 8:32 pm

    Your comments about Loretta Swit reached the broader blogosphere, and I’m grateful to have run across it on your site. I’ll also note your moving tribute to Howard Hesseman and “Mingus Ah Um” when he died a bit over three years ago.

    I remember the ending of “St. Elsewhere” and I’ve had ColoGuard and colonoscopies.

    “It’s Storytime with Wil Wheaton” is a bright spot on my RSS (FeedlyPro!) feed.

    Reply
  49. Cyn Hanrahan McC says:
    3 June, 2025 at 11:54 pm

    This is the first year I haven’t been prescribed pharmaceutical grade Vit D in a long time. Some trauma response agoraphobia that the pandemic allowed me to wallow in kept me out of the sun. I decided that after my whole life of being outdoorsy I was not going to let that stop me from enjoying the sun. So I made a plan to get 15 minutes of sunlight every day. And my most recent bloodwork shows I’m at a good level! The Uri Geller spoon made me laugh. I don’t remember a snowglobe, and looking just above here at Emily’s comment, it seems I should since I did watch St. Elsewhere but there was a lot going on back then. I’ll look it up. I’m glad you remember Loretta Swit in your heart. At the time you could not take her kindness in as normal. Now you can, so hitting you in the heart, I feel you.

    Reply
  50. siobharek says:
    4 June, 2025 at 3:06 am

    Perfect is the enemy of good. All your updates are good+. And I was bent out shape about the spoon joke

    Reply

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