Grace Helbig is returning to YouTube. She made a video about it, and said something that resonated with me: we start out doing something because it is fun, and we keep doing it because we enjoy how fun it is. If we’re lucky, the thing we are doing for fun also helps us earn a living.
And then, when we aren’t paying attention, the thing that was fun is now work, and we are stressed as fuck about views and likes and reshares and oh my god this isn’t fun at all. Now, we are burned out.
Go watch Grace talk about this, if what I just told you seems interesting to you; she says a lot of insightful things that are worth hearing. I’m inspired, and want to make videos just like she does, if I can figure out some linux video editing software tools. But even if I can’t do video, I just want to get back to what it felt like when it was only fun, and I didn’t let all the other stuff get in the way.
I mention this because I only write in my blog for fun, and when I make it more important than just having fun, I really get in my own way. Yeah, I announce the cool things that I get to do, the cons I’m attending, I share my work and my podcast, and things that are work-adjacent, but if it isn’t fun to sit here and write about something, I just don’t do it. I won’t even go into how frustrating it is when I feel like I have to force it.
And I forget, every single time, how much I enjoy posting in my blog, how much I enjoy interacting with anyone who reads it in comments, how good it feels to make the human connections that, ironically, don’t seem to happen on social media, on account of all the bots and trolls and endless efforts to disrupt our peace.
So, hi. I’m glad you’re here. I hope we can interact in the comments and feel a sense of shared humanity and community.
If you’d like to get these posts in your email, you can sign up here:
And now, a few things that have been on my mind, but not enough to fill up their own posts. I’m putting it behind a jump, because this got kind of long.
Since we are thinking about community …
LAist did a story about friendly local game shops. They talked to Donna Ricci, my friend who owns Geeky Teas & Games in Burbank, which happens to be both my favorite and my local game shop, and Jeff Eyeser, from Revenge Of in Eagle Rock (or maybe it’s Glassell Park, or Atwater Village. I’m unsure how the neighborhood boundaries work over there, but I’m sure someone will correct me). They both talked about not just building community, but nurturing and protecting it.
“We honor everyone who walks through our doors — except mean people,” Ricci said. “They can f**k off.”
I love this energy. Everyone should have this energy. Imagine how great it would be if every business (if every human) adopted this policy.
If you follow me on Bluesky, you know that something happened to me yesterday or maybe overnight while I was asleep, that seems to have flipped a switch inside of me that I have wanted to flip for literal decades: Some part of my brain insisted that I listen to the original cast recording of Cabaret. This is really weird. All I know about Cabaret is that Joel Gray and Liza Minelli are in it, and it’s painfully relevant to current events. That’s it. I have heard the “Welcome to the Cabaret” song a few times, but nothing else from the show.
I’ve never seen Cabaret, but from the moment I woke up, my brain DEMANDED that I listen to the original cast recording. I don’t even like musicals; I’ve lamented that I don’t have the gene, but holy shit this is so wonderful and I think maybe I got a mutation somehow and I get musicals?— Wil Wheaton (@wilwheaton.net) October 13, 2025 at 11:34 AM
You need this context to understand why this is a Thing for me: my whole life, I’ve wanted to like musical theater. So many of my friends have done musicals, are doing musicals, love to sing songs from musicals. And I just don’t get it. It’s like I don’t have the gene, or something? Everyone I knew growing up loved Grease. I just can’t stand it. Same with Phantom of the Opera and Cats. Oh my god do I hate Cats.
There were notable exceptions: Chicago, Les Miserables, Moulin Rouge. Rocky Horror Picture Show (which I didn’t even think of as a musical until yesterday, having categorized it as a cultural touchstone that is so much more than the sum of its parts) and Hamilton, of course.
But the classics? The ones that my elders adore? They’ve always left me cold. South Pacific and Oklahoma make my teeth itch.
Until yesterday. Yesterday morning, I listened to Cabaret three times in a row. Then I listened to The Music Man (oh my god Robert Preston where have you been all my life?), then I had to turn it off and listen to Joy Division so I could work without being distracted.
I don’t know if it’s a phase, but something is different in me today than it has been for my whole life. I still don’t like the musicals I don’t like, but I’m extremely open to discovering everything I’ve missed. I got tons of recommendations in my Bluesky mentions yesterday, but I’d love to hear yours, if you have any.
Let’s stay with music for a moment. I am late to the party, having only recently discovered The Warning, but better late than never. Three sisters from Monterrey, Mexico, who fell in love with music when they were kids, playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band. They formed a band that rocks so fucking hard, they will melt your face off. Listening to their albums put some of their contemporaries into my suggestions, and I am loving all the Mexican metal, largely driven by women, that is currently rocking my world. Start with Keep Me Fed, and you’ll know before the end of the first song if they are your jam. What are you listening to right now? Any new punk, metal, or hard rock you care to share?
I found this in my unpublished drafts folder with a note that says “this is overwrought and you should delete it” … but I didn’t. I feel VERY vulnerable sharing it, because it’s not my usual style, but this is now the third or fourth time I’ve thought about posting it, so clearly part of me feels it’s worth sharing.
This was drafted about five years ago:
Felt sad.
Felt scared.
Walked my dogs.
Went for a run.
Felt despair.
Had dinner with my family.
Held off a panic attack.
Took a walk with my wife.
Felt cynical.
Watched a movie.
Got through a day.
Cleaned my kitchen.
Did some work.
Felt hopeless.
Did some more work.
Had some meetings.
Felt angry.
Felt depressed.
Felt angry again.
Tried to sleep.
Did not sleep.
Finally slept.
Cleaned my office.
Felt numb.
Read a book.
Read some comics.
Felt okay.
Played some video games.
Got knocked down.
Got the fuck back up again.
To be able to create and share your creations without fear must be really wonderful. I have recently noticed that I’m not struggling with that the way I once did. Or, at least, not as intensely.
For almost ten years — Jesus Christ that’s a long time — I struggled like hell to understand why I never booked auditions. I asked trusted friends who I have worked with to please tell me what was wrong with me. Surely they must know, and surely they would be honest with me about why I stink, how they are able to wash the stink off when I work for them. Why does everyone tell me that I’m not just a good actor, but one of the better ones, and still I never book auditions? If I get feedback at all (and before I hung it up, I hadn’t gotten feedback for so long I don’t remember when the last time casting made the effort) it’s always positive. “You were great, but blah blah was cast.”
As the adult version of a child who was constantly told he had to earn his father’s attention and affection, but never told how to do that (ps – no child should have to earn love and attention), every audition was triggering. That’s why I quit. As much as I love being in a cast, as much as I love how good it feels to nail a performance, the industry has been loud and clear: Hollywood is not interested in me, hasn’t been for a long time, and if I keep chasing, that’s on me. I thought, “It’s weird that I can do this thing, and do it well, when I’m on the set, but never in auditions. What’s that all about?” Well, it turns out to have a lot of parts, but the bottom line is that actors who book jobs roll into the room with this confidence and commitment to the character that silently and instantly communicates to the room “Listen, you can cast me or not, but this is the best take on the character you’re going to see.” Because I was forced into acting by my mother, and then kept in it through her manipulation and exploitation of my desperate need to feel accepted in my home and family, I rolled in there with an underlying desperation: “please choose me so I have a chance at being loved by my parents. This is everything to me and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy.” I mean, it doesn’t matter how solid the performance is, how technically brilliant I am, whatever you want to call it, when there is a desperation that I’m not even aware of, underneath it all.
I’m genuinely and sincerely envious of actors who love the art, who come alive when they are performing, who don’t care if casting likes them or not, who get to feel in their souls what it means to be part of the community of performing artists. I have been close to that, I have felt it on occasion, but until this year, I didn’t realize that there was so much trauma and pain in between all of it, and me. I have wondered if I could try to do … something, probably theater, to find out if all of my trauma recovery work, which has been so intensely helpful in so many ways, has created space for me to love it the way I wish I could.
Earlier this year, I was given a Lifetime Achievement Award by AMDA. I didn’t say anything about it in public because I felt a little embarrassed. I’m only 53, so lifetime anything feels premature, but also … like … how can you give an acting and performance award to someone who can’t book an audition? Who, when you really get down to it, was just lucky to be in a few really, really good and memorable pieces of art? Sure, sure, I showed up and did the work, but it wasn’t just me. It was everyone involved in production. Nobody gets anything done on their own; everyone needs help to do any of this, and singling out one of us always feels weird.
I wanted to decline the award, but a couple of people who are close to me encouraged me to accept it, if only because it would give me an opportunity to speak to some kids about making great art.
I can’t find a local copy of the remarks I wrote for the event, so here’s a video of the entire talk (if you have time and interest, and a love of the arts, you may get something out of it). If you want to skip to my prepared remarks, they start right around 51 minutes.
Before I go, I need to clarify that the title of this post comes from The Dead Boys, not Paramore, and not Guns and Roses. Okay, I think that’s all for today. I’m glad you’re here. Take care of yourselves, and take care of each other.
Discover more from WIL WHEATON dot NET
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
My first musicals were Rent and Hedwig And The Angry Inch, so I had a reeeeeal weird idea of musicals when I got into them. 🙂 I also don’t tend to like the “classics” and Andrew Lloyd Webber is my nemesis because I hate his work SO MUCH. Sondheim is brilliant at wordplay, Into The Woods and Sweeney Todd are good places to start and Assassins will possibly delight you. Tick, Tick…Boom! (by the same composer of Rent) has a movie adaptation on Netflix but the original cast recording is even better. Next To Normal is a brilliant dive into mental illness and grief and love.
If you want a band that has a theatrical and sweeping sound combined with lyrics that remade my soul, I can only heartily and always recommend my favourite band of all time, ever: The Amazing Devil. The Horror And The Wild (the album and the title song) on bandcamp is awaiting your ears.
Also everything you said about auditions is something I feel down to my marrow. I memorize easily, I make good character choices, I get excellent feedback (on the rare chance a CD provides feedback), and I booked nothing. 11 years in LA and one webseries and a couple student films are all I could book. I also envy those who walk in knowing they have the best take of the character because I am overanalyzing every thing to death and getting soclose but not there.
I loved your speech and the award is well-deserved (though they need to come up with an award that isn’t a ‘Lifetime’ thing because yeah it always smacks of finality to me, Career Achievement or something)
Video seems hard, esp. on Linux, but audio is easier… and you’re amazing at it! Podcasts are work, but.. the audio version of tweets? A feed of audio ‘thought for the day’s ? or just thoughts/opinions/exclamations…
Well, I grew up with a mother who could not stop singing along with Singin’ in the Rain, and a grandmother (my dad’s mom, actually) whose most modern record in the collection was the soundtrack to Fiddler on the Roof.
I never actually saw Cabaret until a fellow I was interested in (in college) took me to a double feature of that and The Boys in the Band. And, of course, he came out to me at the end of the evening.
But the songs in Cabaret are affecting in ways that so many other musical tunes aren’t. It’s a good 40 years later, and I’m still chilled by the song Tomorrow Belongs to Me.
Dude, I would give a LOT for a game store where I didn’t have to throw down my geek cred just to prove I belong there. Yours sounds awesome!
Hi uncle wil. Thanks for being you. My friend turned me on to this band Nation of Language and I’m obsessed. Particularly “weak in your light” they have kind of a synth pop Depeche Mode vibe.
I can get into some musicals and definitely NOT others. Hear me out.
Wicked.
My brother and I won front row tickets to see this show on broadway when it was Idina Menzel and she fucking slays it. Just try defying gravity.
565,600 minutes from rent.
LaLa land. (Not theater but it might as well be)
Little shop of horrors?
OMG AVENUE Q!!! That’s the one. Ok I’m done.
Have a great day.
Try the My Fair Lady original cast album, just to hear the glorious Julie Andrews sing.
Holy shit, thank you for helping me discover The Warning. One of life’s greatest pleasures is discovering new music. Gonna be rocking out to them for a while, I think.
Hi Will, have you come across Transportna? It’s a post-punk band from Ukraine that I found recently on YouTube.
I’m about 40 seconds into “One Day” and I’m completely on board. Thank you!
I loved your ‘overwrought’ post. It is highly relatable. Lately I’ve been listening to Tyr, which is a Faroe Islands folk metal band. I’ll look up the Warning, because that sounds neat. Musicals. OMG there are so many good weird musicals out there. Evil Dead the Musical. Passing Strange. Repo! The Genetic Opera. The tv show Psych did a fun musical episode with Anthony Rapp from Rent. Jesus Christ Superstar. Please tell me you did not skip Teaching a Robot To Love by the Doubleclicks. I will shake my finger at you. Urinetown. Mamma Mia is certainly a fun watch. The Muppets Christmas Carol. Flash Gordon. Fantasia. Okay, that should keep you busy for a few minutes.
Wil, I get the dislike for Rodgers and Hammerstein…But mine comes from seeing them all the time as a kid and loving them but getting so tired of nothing new! But then came High School and Fiddler On the Roof and The Music Man and I fell in love for life with musical theatre (“2 of the greatest words in the English Language are Musical Theatre”!) again! Musicals have been my refuge, my bridge to friendships and dealing with bad times and medical issues and valuing myself. Cat scans and MRI’s are so much easier to deal with when you can stick, sorry, POTO or Wicked lyrics in your head! So welcome to the Kit Kat Club and River City and OZ and 525,600 minutes of dealing with today. Thanks, Wil!
Hmm, i’m going to have to remember to check out that musical! I also need to watch Hamilton. Thank you for your words, I can relate. I knit and crochet and often get asked why I don’t sell it. Its because if I did it would no longer be fun for me, i’d be tied to a deadline and have these orders to fill and that is not my idea of fun. So i do my yarnwork on my terms when i feel like having fun!!
Wil, please please please keep sharing your heart. Your authenticity and humanity is one of the shining lights in my world.
I now have a new fave human (Grace) and The Warning? Rocking my fucking socks. Music in pretty much all forms gives me great joy, and while I have an obsession with Les Mis and Phantom, I struggle with older musicals too! (Confession: still haven’t seen Hamilton). My vocal teacher had me listening to Cabaret earlier this year and when I go? I’m going like Elsie.
I know it’s not your requested genre, and we are demographically very different, but I have had the new Taylor Swift album on repeat, I’ve never been a mad Swiftie but there’s something about this album and this time of my life that it just slaps. And watching mega fans tie themselves in knots to unravel the threads and connections to the inspiration behind particular songs or lyrics is fascinating. I’m planning to work on Eldest Daughter (track 5) with my teacher as my end-of-year performance piece, I love it so much.
And linking back to fun – I’ve started writing my own poetry, notes and inspirations in recent weeks because life is too short to not at least try to do something I love to break up all the obligations of life. I even sat down at a keyboard the other day to start at the very beginning to actually learn how to play.
I appreciate you saying such kind things to me.
And I am an enormous Taylor Swift fan and admirer. I love the new record, though I’m more of a Midnights guy.
Welcome to the world of musicals! Music Man is a winner; Robert Preston is exceptional. Mame, with Lucille Ball, Robert P, Bea Arthur, and a very young Bruce Davison is another favorite. (Lyrics and story are incredibly outdated.) Sound of Music was my first. I was four, saw it in the theater, then I watched all the kid movies in the 60’s (Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke) which kept me singing all these years. I’m glad you’ve found a new like. Newsies is wonderful, and pretty timely given recent events. I need to re-watch Cabaret, it’s been far too long.
Once Upon a Mattress, Me and My Girl and Anything goes. Avenue Q. I get it. I loved performing in musicals but as I got older, I mostly wanted to watch straight plays. It was weird but a bit of the reverse for me.
Try Fiddler on the roof, the music is amazing. I’m thankful for your struggling posts cause I struggle too. Tried EMDR, wasn’t a good candidate for it so going with CPT for the 3rd time. Therapy options limited because I’m a disabled vet and my care is through the VA. I so appreciate your advocacy regarding what we call mental health (if only the effects were limited to mental which would be tough enough). It’s wonderful to hear you acknowledge the tremendous progress you’ve made 💕
I think you’d make a rather fine modern major general. The best ones are the ones that are clearly enjoying the role.
If you like Robert Preston & Julie Andrews, then “Victor Victoria” is a great musical to watch (movie cast)! I thought they both gave great performances in that one! Also, “Little Shop of Horrors” (movie cast) is fun as well (note that the theater ending and movie ending are VERY different)! And, for the record, I LOVE MUSICALS, but also HATE “Oklahoma!” You don’t have to like every musical to enjoy musical theater!
Sorry, one last recommendation: “Jekyll & Hyde” (for interesting musical style and multi part diverging and then reconverging harmonies)!
My first “real” musical that I fell in love with was “A Chorus Line” that I saw at the Schubert Theater in Boston in the 70’s. I loved every minute of it…wish I had the voice or dance that you need for that. I settled for high school musicals in the dance troupes. I’m proud to say that even today at 62, I can sing along to every song and remember every freaking word!! Don’t watch the movie…see if you can find a local production or just listen to the album and read the Wiki for the story line. I think you’ll really enjoy it!!
The thing that usually gets in the way for me with musicals (at least musical movies) is that the songs stop the story. The characters will talk about something and that conversation will be informative, but then the music & singing start and the story grinds to a halt while they sing about the thing they were just talking about, and at the end of the song I don’t know any more than I did when it started.
Take The Sound of Music, for example – at the beginning of the movie the nuns talk about how unreliable Maria is and then they stop & sing about it, and nothing happens until the song is over. Why couldn’t they just launch straight into the song, skip the conversation, and let the song tell the story?