Category: blog

blog

in which we are creative (and maybe you are, too)

Posted on By Wil

A few months ago, our friend, Kari, had a birthday party. She encouraged all of us who attended to come in some kind of 70s or 80s tacky prom outfit. Because most of us at the party are actors, writers, directors, or some other type of creative storyteller, we didn’t just show up in costumes … we showed up in costumes with backstories. It’s important that you know that none of these stories — or the existence of the backstories at all — was coordinated or even encouraged. It’s just a thing that happened, because when you get a bunch of creative people together and give them an excuse to let their imaginations run wild, you just strap in and feel the gees.

I don’t have a picture of Anne and me together, but our characters were the high school senior (her) and the creep who graduated three years ago, will never move out of their small town, and is dating her because he’s a total loser creep (me). She’s looking for a way out of her parents’ house, and wants to get back at her father. They’re using each other, are doomed to end badly, and we just hope that they don’t drag any children into their dysfunction. He will get drunk and throw up on her dress before the night is over.

I mean, maybe we put a little too much into it but — wait what am I saying. We put exactly the right amount into it.

While we were at the party, Anne took this picture of me (that’s below the jump). In this picture, I am a totally different character. This guy is legitimately cool, and dates women who are age appropriate. He’s going places, just as soon as he saves enough money to get out of this town. He’s an honest man in a dishonest world, doing the best that he can. And he’s a hell of a good pool player…

(more…)

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“Memory’s fog is rising.”

Posted on By Wil

I wrote this last night.

30 years ago today, John Carpenter’s Prince of Darkness was released.

That means that 30 years ago tonight, I was at the AMC 10 in Burbank.

Today, that part of Burbank is filled with businesses and chain restaurants and street performers. 30 years ago, there was the theater, a parking garage, a Fuddrucker’s (that’s still there and still terrible), and not much else. It was quiet when you went outside, especially after a movie that started late.

We went to a show that started around 10 or 1030pm. The air was cool, and it was so foggy, we couldn’t see the streetlights, just their glow. I went with three of my friends, who were all older than me and could drive. We listened to Van Halen in the car.

I remember that the movie wasn’t what I wanted it to be, and I was disappointed. It wasn’t scary, and the effects seemed cheesy. I wanted it to scare me the way The Thing scared me, and it didn’t do that. But it was foggy as hell that night, which is something that doesn’t happen in Burbank very often, and that made the post-showing silence especially eerie, and worth the drive. The walk to the car was more satisfying to me than the movie was.

On the way home, we went on streets instead of the freeway, because it would take us longer to get home that way, and that’s what being out at night with your friends is about when you’re fifteen. We listened to Some Great Reward on the way home. I lamented that the girl I had a huge crush on would never know I existed, and my friend, Ryan, told me (as he always did) to go talk to her or shut up about it forever. We drove through Glendale and Montrose, and on the way up the hill to my house, we drove out of the fog. I remember looking out toward Los Angeles when we got out of the car, and seeing that blanket of fog, broken by the Verdugo mountains, glowing orange from the streetlights beneath it. I remember wishing the movie had lived up to the atmosphere. I remember wishing that I’d asked Hailey to go with me to the movie.

Tonight, it’s hot and dry outside, and I am in the home I own, that I bought with my wife. I drove my Mini today and listened to Depeche Mode. My wife is asleep in our bed. Our son is asleep in our guest room. I feel like that teenager I was thirty years ago isn’t even a real person, just a foggy memory that’s painful to visit more often than it is not.

A lot of my teens blurs together, because I worked all the time and I was so unhappy, I spent my twenties trying to forget them. But this is one of the things that I can remember pretty clearly, because of the fog.

The fog. In literary symbolism, we use fog to represent mystery, the inability to see clearly, and uncertainty. It’s interesting to me that the fog is the only reason I can remember anything about that night, thirty years ago, and that tonight I can recall so much of it so clearly.

Time is weird. Memory is weird. Life is strange.

blog

the hilarious world of depression

Posted on By Wil

I spoke with John Moe about my mental illness for his podcast, The Hilarious World of Depression:

Wil Wheaton was a child star in Stand By Me, a regular on Star Trek: The Next Generation as a teenager, and has been trying to figure out his role in show business for a long time since then. He was dealing with the pressures of fame and the fickle tastes of Hollywood, all while dealing with a chemical imbalance in his brain that made him prone to anxiety and depression. Wil’s better now thanks to medication, but despite his long IMDb page and regular work on The Big Bang Theory, his hit YouTube show, and a thriving and varied career, he sees himself primarily as a failed actor.

It’s a good show, as they say. Go give it a listen.

blog

Five more things I want you to know

Posted on By Wil
  1. I guess I’m on summer vacation. Or maybe it’s a longer break from public life, so I can work on creative things that need my attention. I haven’t been on Twitter much, and when I am, it reminds me why I decided to do other things with my time. I’ve been working on finishing the first draft of this novel I accidentally ended up writing, spending about two full weeks doing very little writing and a lot of stuff that looks like I’m not writing, while I’m figuring out how to get out of the box I inadvertently wrote myself into. I solved the problem with the help of index cards and a cork board, which is a reminder that I should have done cards and a board in the first place. In my lame defense, I never intended for this story to get as long and involved as it has, so … there.
  2. One of the things I’ve been doing when it looks like I’m not working is painting Warhammer 40K figures. I read all the advice I got when I posted about finding my way back into the hobby, and ended up buying Dark Imperium. I love the lore in the rulebook, and the models are gorgeous. I am as bad at painting as I ever was, but I’m old enough now to not let it bother me like it once did. Like, my sense of self worth isn’t tied up in how good or bad I am at every single thing I attempt, like it was when I was younger.
  3. Friday night, Chris took me to Vegas to see Steve Martin and Martin Short. They were amazing and hilarious, and I highly recommend seeing the show when it comes to a town near you. The band that plays with them, The Steep Canyon Rangers, is so amazing, I think I may actually like bluegrass music.

    After the show, we got to go backstage and meet them, because Chris is a big deal. When Steve Martin shook Chris’ hand, he told Chris, “I am a huge fan of your work. It’s so nice to see you.”

    I felt like I was going to cry. I’m so proud of Chris and everything he has created, and so grateful that he’s been my friend for almost 30 years. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to meet someone who inspired you to do the work you do, someone who played a part in shaping who you became as a human, and finding out that they not only know about your work, they enjoy it and identify as a fan.

    Some really funny things happened when we were there, but I’m putting them into my next live show, so you’ll have to come see me perform if you want to know about them.

  4. I also played poker for the first time in years. It was a 1/2 NLHE game, and I played for about four hours. I lost some big pots, I won a bunch of small and medium pots (and one huge pot where I proudly outplayed a guy who I read perfectly) and when I left, I had more than when I sat down. It wasn’t a lot, but it was a lot of fun and a nice way to spend Friday afternoon. I felt good about the way I played, and left feeling like I didn’t totally suck at cards.
  5. I’ve talked on RFB about how I want to do a horror movie in the style of the 1970s Grindhouse releases. In the last week or os, I broke a story in my head. I know all the major plot points, and have notes in my book! When I finish the first draft of the novel, I’m going to start doing cards for the movie, and figure out the details, so I can write the screenplay. I have no idea how I’ll get it made, but it’s a thing I’m doing because, like Lin-Manuel Miranda said, “Don’t wait on anyone to make your favorite thing. Make your own favorite thing. Go.”

What do you want me to know?