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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Category: Books

in which i write a prequel

Posted on 6 May, 2008 By Wil

Ficlets is this cool collaborative writing project that I occasionally play with as I work out my creative writing muscles. Ficlets takes the philosophy that creativity is born of necessity and applies it ruthlessly: writers only get 1024 characters — not words, but characters — to tell a little bit of a story.

Where Ficlets really shines, though, and what makes it so unique and inspiring, is that it’s a collaborative writing process; each story has a link attached to it that can be used to write a prequel or sequel to any of the stories people submit (which are all released under a creative commons license.) Stories can have lots of different prequels and sequels, too, as each ficleteer finds and expresses their own inspiration.

There have been some fantastic prequels and sequels written around some of the stories I’ve put up there, but today was the first time I was ever inspired enough to write one of my own.

Last night I saw that Will Hindmarch (a very creative a hoopy frood) had written a really quirky and awesome story. I instantly wanted to build upon it, but nothing came into my mind. I told my brain to run it as a background process until it returned something useful, and at 7 this morning I suddenly woke from a deep sleep with the entire idea fully formed (core dumped, if you will) in my head.

Because the ficlets are so short, it’s not really practical to excerpt them, so I’ll just direct you to Will’s story, A Loaded Gun in the Mailbox, which you should read first, and my story, An Unremarkable Factory.

The challenge I gave myself was to not just write an interesting piece of fiction inspired by Will’s, but to also write it in a style that flowed well with his. At the risk of sounding entirely too pleased with myself, I’m very happy with the result.

If you want to take the Creative Commons experience all the way, listen to tracks five and six of Nine Inch Nails’ Ghosts I while you read mine. I had them on while I wrote it.

highlights from my damn geeky weekend

Posted on 5 May, 2008 By Wil

So my geeky weekend was totally awesome, and there were a few moments I thought I’d share. Before I get there, though, I need to clear something up: On Friday, as I was running out of the house, I said "Go see Iron Man this weekend. It is awesome. I saw a preview screening on Monday, and other than
the score (which is absolute crap) the movie is damn near perfect. I
think it’s the best comic book movie since Sin City, and blows
Transformers and the last two X-Men movies into oblivion."

Uh. Yeah. I don’t know how, but I managed to leave Batman Begins and Ghost World out of that, which is further evidence that I am a complete moron. Lots of people disagree with me about Sin City and X-Men. Those people are all wrong, of course, but my leaving out Batman Begins and Ghost World is just inexcusable. I deeply regret the error, and hang my head in shame while I carefully fold up my nerd cape. I’ll be in the corner for a little bit, thinking about what I did.

Okay, now that we’re done with that, allow me to share some highlights from my weekend with you:

Friday night I said to Anne, "When I finish this martini, I’m going to think it’s a great idea to have another martini. It will, in fact, be a very bad idea for me to have another martini, and I’d appreciate it if you’d remind me of that fact when the time comes."

When the time came, she wasn’t at the table. Oops.

Saturday morning, we unsurprisingly slept too late to get breakfast at the hotel, so we went to a supermarket and got yogurt, bananas, juice and stuff. I think we ended up having a more healthy and less expensive breakfast than we would have had at the hotel.

I wasn’t nervous at all about my reading at Mysterious Galaxy, which was really weird. In fact, while we were driving there (Anne was driving, I was reading from my book because I got it into my head that it may be a good idea to try something new about 20 minutes before showtime) I said to Anne, "You know what’s weird? I’m not nervous at all." It was at that very moment that I got nervous.

There were more people at Mysterious Galaxy than I was expecting, and when I walked into the store, the whole place fell silent and everyone was staring at me. You know how you walk into a room and feel like everyone was just talking about you? It was like that. I mean, they probably were, but it was still weird. It didn’t do much for the nervousness.

When I started my reading, I heard words coming out of my mouth, but I didn’t know what they were. I do that when I’m nervous and haven’t prepared any introductory remarks. If you were there and noticed this, thank you for not booing me.

I usually read blue light special and maybe exactly what I wanted, but I thought the MG crowd would be entertained by and relate to beyond the realm of the starlight. It turns out that they liked it, so my last minute decision to change the usual program was rewarded. In the future, though, I think I’ll stick with the cards, lest I get a visit from Nick Fury when I’m done.

Unrelated to this post: Time Machine is making a backup right now, and it’s making my mouse jumpy. That is SO FUCKING IRRITATING.

Right. Back to business:

After I was finished reading, I took some questions. The thing about this is that nobody ever has questions when I say, "I’d be happy to entertain your questions," but when I’m signing their book, they have tons of questions, so instead of getting to tell my hilarious and charming jokes to everyone, I get to tell them to one person at a time. I must come up with some way of helping people not feel self conscious when it’s Q&A time. I should also clarify that I don’t mind answering questions or getting my geek on when I sign your book. In fact, I’ve noticed over the years that when I sign books for people, we almost always end up having some huge geek moment about movies or software or other geeky topics. I absolutely love that and hope it won’t ever go away.

While I was signing books, a girl about my age walked up to the table. She extended her hand and said, "Hi, I’m Gina."

"Hi Gina," I said. "It’s nice to meet you."

"I’m a blogger," she said.

"Oh? Cool!" I said. "What’s your blog?"

"It’s called ‘Lifehacker,’ and –"

It was at this point that I completely lost my shit and spent the next eleventy hundred minutes telling her how much I love Lifehacker. I think I slimed her pretty hard, but she wrote the nicest thing in the universe about me on Lifehacker today. Uh, wow. Thanks, Gina!

I also met a reader who nearly made me cry when she told me about her relationship with her stepdad, and how my books were a part of it. Stepkids: it means more than you’ll ever know when you tell your stepparents how much you love them, and when that moment finally comes where you accept how much we love you back, it’s the most cherished moment in our lives.

Saturday night was much more sedate and responsible than Friday night (and how lame and old am I that 3 martinis now qualifies as crazygonuts?)

Sunday morning, we got up early enough to eat breakfast in the hotel, and I wished that we hadn’t. I had a waffle with berries and maple syrup, but forgot to ensure that the "maple syrup" wasn’t that corn syrup bullshit that makes me sick to my stomach before I infected the entire waffle with it. I still ate about half of the waffle, though, because I was so hungry.

"I am really looking forward to eating lunch at Stone," I said to Anne, "because I’m seriously thinking about going all Karen Carpenter on this breakfast."

We eventually made our way up to Escondido, wandered around the beer garden (which is awesome and beautiful) and settled in for a nice long lunch.

It ended up being longer than I’d initially planned, because the restaurant was ridiculously busy yesterday, and we didn’t get our food until about 15 minutes before I was supposed to go read. As I watched tons of people stream in with my book in their hand, I got the nervous stomach and couldn’t eat. Awesome. Greg Koch, who is the co-founder of Stone and invited me, reminded me that, once people are in the beer garden, they relax and live on "beer time," which is much more laid back than real time. This actually put me at ease, which is very hard to do before I am about to perform.

Oh! Please enjoy this moment from lunch, which I sent to Twitter:
  Anne: It’s Jedi day! Me: What? Anne: May the Fourth be with you. Me: OMG I am so sending that to Twitter.

My reading was great. There were about 50 people there, and I felt like my introductory remarks were much better than they were at MG, probably because I spent some time really thinking about what I would say. Amazing how preparation helps me feel prepared, isn’t it?

There were lots of questions when I was done, and I had a good time answering them (some marginally inappropriate answers were brought to you by Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale.) I think everyone had a good time, and Greg said that I could come back with future books, which I intend to do as long as I can keep coming up with stuff that’s worth reading.

After the reading, we had dessert, and I was finally able to enjoy a Ruination IPA. Anne drove us home in time to watch one of the funniest episodes of Family Guy I’ve ever seen, and I ended the night watching one of the most exciting NHL playoff games I’ve ever seen.

It was a fantastic weekend, and I want to thank everyone from Mysterious Galaxy (which has autographed copies of all my books, now, if you want to order them) as well as everyone from Stone who put on these events. Most importantly, though, I want to thank everyone who made the effort to come out and spend some time with me this weekend. I did my best not to suck, and I think I mostly succeeded.

this is one hell of a geeky weekend

Posted on 2 May, 2008 By Wil

I just put the finishing touches on the note for the house sitter (my favorite new addition to the standard boilerplate: how to hook up Rock Band without messing up my tours) and I’m about to head out to San Diego for some awesome geekery this weekend.

Before I leave, though, I had to say: Go see Iron Man this weekend. It is awesome.  I saw a preview screening on Monday, and other than
the score (which is absolute crap) the movie is damn near perfect. I
think it’s the best comic book movie since Sin City, and blows
Transformers and the last two X-Men movies into oblivion.

Need a little more convincing? Go see it for
the pitch-perfect performances, lead by Robert Downey Junior, who absolutely makes this film so enjoyable. io9 says,
“Iron Man is the first comic-book movie that’s actually better than its
source material. That’s partly because Iron Man is one of the most boring characters in
the history of comics, but it’s also because the movie manages to
transcend its source.” I was never a fan of Iron Man, but I’m positively looney for this movie.

If you’re looking for other ways to get your geek on this weekend: tomorrow is Free Comic Book Day, there’s a Maker Faire in the Bay Area, JPL’s Open House is in Los Angeles and there’s a BarCamp in San Diego.

Oh, and did I mention that I’ll be in San Diego?

Geek Tour reminder: San Diego May 3-4

Posted on 30 April, 2008 By Wil

The 2008 Geek Tour rolls out of Los Angeles this weekend and into San Diego!

Saturday, I’ll be reading from The Happiest Days of Our Lives (and signing all of my books) at Mysterious Galaxy Books:

Join us on Saturday, May 3, at 2:00 PM, when we host Wil Wheaton for his new collection of essays, The Happiest Days of Our Lives. Maryelizabeth’s review below of The Happiest Days of Our Lives
reads in part: "Whether he is writing about subjects one can identify
with or less familiar topics, Wil’s stories are truthful, insightful,
and above all, entertaining." Join Wil in celebrating life as a writer,
a parent, and a proud geek. And don’t forget to stop by Comickaze to check out Wil’s contribution to Star Trek: The Manga, and take part in Free Comic Book Day.

Mysterious Galaxy is an indie booke shoppe that specializes in
Science Fiction and Fantasy. I went there with Just a Geek, and this
will be my first time back since then. I think 30 or 40 people came out
last time, making a great audience for the reading, while still being
small enough that I could talk to everyone who was there.

Sunday, I head up to North County for a stop at the Stone Brewing World Bistro and Gardens:

To boldly go where no book club has gone before
(er, except for ours, that is), Stone Brewing Co. proudly announces
another season of Book & A Beer Club…On the Grass!

Once again we
are inviting beer geeks and bookworms alike to participate in a monthly
meeting that pairs awesome beer with lively intellectual discussion.
The premise is simple: read a book and have some great conversation—and
great beer!—in a beautiful outdoor setting.

Wil’s
most recent book, The Happiest Days of Our Lives, will be up for
discussion, and this evening’s event is sure to be provocative, fun and
enlightening.


Guests are welcome to bring their own lawn chairs, and blankets will be
provided for those without to keep you from grass-staining your
chinos. An RSVP is appreciated (though not required) at 760.471.4999
x1700
.

Some of my favorite beers in the world are crafted by Stone, and
Stone’s owner, Greg Koch, has a lot of the same beliefs about marketing
and making stuff that is awesome that I do. At his brewery in Escondido
(in North San Diego County) he has an incredible restaurant and
gorgeous beer garden. A few times a year, he invites authors to come
out for something he calls Book and a Beer, which is exactly what it
sounds like. We’ll have Stone Pale Ale, Stone IPA, Arrogant Bastard,
and all sorts of non-beer drinks if beer isn’t your cup of tea. I
suspect this will be an intimate gathering, but it will most certainly
be an awesome one. If you’ve ever wanted to have a beer with your old
pal Wil, now you can do eet.

I am so looking forward to this weekend. I can’t wait to get my geek and beer on!

Alan Moore reads Rorschach’s Journal

Posted on 24 April, 2008 By Wil

I’m way late to the party on this one, and didn’t even know it existed until about fifteen seconds ago.

Listening to it gave me chills. I want to go re-read Watchmen right now so I can hear Rorschach’s real voice.

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