Category Archives: Games

in which munchkin is played

Ryan and Nolan don’t carry my DNA, but they are my sons in every way that matters. Every day, it seems, I see more and more of myself in them, and it’s been the greatest reward in the world to see them reflect my values at the most unexpected moments. Last night, their friend Michael came over, and we stayed up until almost 2 playing Munchkin. As I told Twitter, This is the most munchkiny (and silly and fun) game of Munchkin I’ve ever played. I had to call @RedPenOf Doom for a ruling.

For those who are unfamiliar: RedPenOfDoom is my friend and editor Andrew, who worked on Munchkin. This wasn’t the first time he’s gotten a late-night call from me, looking for a ruling on one thing or another.

The term “Munchkin” refers to those annoying players who min-max their characters, argue about the rules, and generally make RPGs a whole lot of not fun. The game Munchkin parodies all of those things with hilarious results. I’ve joked that it’s essentially powergaming without all the pesky roleplaying.

I’m going to speak in geek to people who have played Munchkin: Neither of the kids would help me, and I kept getting the Truly Obnoxious Curse, so I was having a hard time gaining levels. As a result, I was stuck at level 3 forever while they were sitting around level 7. I decided that my goal in the game would be to mess with them as much as possible, and forget trying to gain levels on my own.

Nolan was to my right. He kicked in a door and didn’t find a monster, so he looked for trouble, playing a level 3 something from his hand. “Does anyone want to mess with me?” He asked, avoiding looking in my direction.

“It’s funny you should ask,” I said. “That’s an illusion. You’re actually fighting a level 18 Squidzilla.” I played the appropriate cards.

“Oh, okay.” Nolan pulled a card from his hand. “It’s now enraged, so it gets an additional treasure.” He pulled another card from his hand. “And with this Polymorph Potion, it turns into a parrot and flies away.” He paused dramatically. “And I take five treasures.”

“OHHH!” Ryan and Michael said.

“Man, that’s a really great move,” I said. “Too bad I’m playing Annihilation on it.”

He was forced to discard the potion, and face the Enraged Squidzilla on his own.

“OHHH!” Ryan and Michael said.”

“Okay, then.” Nolan said. “I guess I’m running away.”

We all laughed. Nolan rolled a one. He stopped laughing. We looted his body. There was much rejoicing. (Well, there was 3/4 rejoicing.)

Now, if you’re feeling bad for Nolan, I refer you to the 3872 Intelligent, Humongous Orcs incident of 2006, and remind you that this is precisely the way the game is intended to be played.

Ryan played the most Munchkinly game he could, at one point even arguing that running away and escaping were two different things, and that he could escape from a wandering monster, but go back to fight the original monster. This is why I had to call Andrew, by the way. He ruled in my favor (“that’s a load, Ryan,” I believe was my argument) but Ryan still won both games we played, gaining his final level by fighting level 2 monsters that Nolan, Michael, and I couldn’t pump up.

We played for a couple of hours, and more than once I was afraid we’d wake up Anne and get The Wrath. I think we all laughed hardest when I played a curse on Ryan that forced him to discard his Spiked Codpiece, and pointed out that it was a small item.

I’ve never been a hypercompetitive dick, whether I’m gaming with my friends or gaming with my family. Trying to enjoy sports with my kids when they were little was really hard, because we were forced to deal with various hypercompetitive dicks who totally ruined the entire experience for all of us, and I’ve always felt like the kids and I missed out on what should have been a fun experience. It makes me so, so, so, so happy that instead of embracing the notion that winning is the only thing that matters, they grew up with my values, and see any game as an excuse to get together with people they like (or, in this case, love) to spend some time enjoying each other’s company.

Munchkin is a game that can not be taken seriously. If the players do take it seriously, it won’t be any fun. The whole point of the game is to see how badly you can mess with each other, and occasionally you end up ganging up on one player for several rounds. It’s not a game for kids who are overly-sensitive or hypercompetitive, and it makes me so proud that my boys are able to enjoy it with me.

Geek in Review: Keeping the Borderlands Alive

December’s Geek in Review has been unleashed on an unsuspecting internet. It is all about Dungeons & Dragons, specifically … Fourth Edition [DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN!!!1]

Last week, I spent an entire day playing Dungeons & Dragons Fourth Edition with some of my friends. “Big whoop,” you say. “So did I.” Ah, but I played in Seattle. With Gabe and Tycho from Penny-Arcade. And Scott Kurtz from PVP. And, to really twist the +3 dagger in your back, our DM was Chris Perkins from Wizards of the Coast, who made an adventure specifically for us to play. For the crushed peanuts and maraschino cherry topping on this sundae of HAWESOME, I got to play a class from the unreleased Player’s Handbook 2. We recorded the entire session for a podcast, which will be released early next year.

Did I mention this class is unreleased? Because it was. I played a class that you haven’t seen yet. I just want to make sure I get full bragging mileage out of this. I posted a little bit about it on my blog and Twitter (I can’t go into specifics, for obvious reasons *cough* awesome unreleased class *cough*). I should not have been surprised (but I was) to find out that a lot of people seem to want to know what I think of D&D Fourth Edition.

And this bit is quoted here purely because it contains something that’s in my top five favorite things I’ve ever written …

I’ve been playing Dungeons & Dragons for 2d12 years. I remember when magic-users couldn’t wear armor, when edged weapons didn’t hurt skeletons, and even when an elf was a class. I have more polyhedral dice than [SOMETHING NORMAL PEOPLE HAVE A LOT OF]. I routinely tell my wife and friends that I have to “save vs. shiny” when I go to my friendly local game shop, and I didn’t realize that graph paper existed for a purpose other than making dungeons until I’d been in high school geometry for a semester…and even then, I remained skeptical.

The Geek in Review is at the Suicide Girls newswire, which is safe for work and doesn’t contain teh horror of teh boobies, but viewing it at work is likely to trip filters and get you a visit from your friendly IT guys.

Hey, at least you’ll be able to talk D&D with them when they show up, right? Make sure you tell them that you were warned by me, Wil Wheaton, who got to play a brand new class from the unreleased PHB2 last week.

Afterthought: I’m proud of this article, and if you think it’s worthy, I’d love it if you’d Propel it, upvote it at Reddit, or Digg it. Muchas gracias, mis amigos.

a great guide to family board games

I love gaming. I love my family. Therefore, I love gaming with my family.

The thing is, my kids aren’t especially interested in a serious Battletech fight (“When do we get to fight each other?” “Just as soon as we finish building our Mechs.” “But we’ve been doing that for an hour!” “I know! We have to make sure they’re just right …”), and my wife glazes over every time I try to explain how awesome Illuminati is. (“AHAHAHAA! The FBI took over the Convenience Stores with help from Congressional Wives and Nuclear Power Companies! Hey, where are you going? Well, if you walk away from the table I’m just going to take your money and put it on my power structure. Why do you have your car keys? Honey? Hello?”)

Luckily, there are a lot of games that are fun for nerds like me and normals like my wife and kids, games like Settlers, Carcassonne, Spooks, Last Night on Earth, Apples to Apples, and classics like Sorry and Risk. But if you’re not as seriously OCD about games as I am, you may not know where to start when you’re contemplating a family game purchase.

Well, this morning, I came across a fantastic guide to family board games in the SFGate, and I just had to share:

The range and quality of board games out there today far surpass anything we may have grown up with as kids, and in spite of the competing allures of online gaming, there is still something elementally satisfying about the roll of the dice and the click-clack of little wooden counters.

Plus, in these tough economic times, can you really afford to go out anymore? Of course not – which is where board games come in. One quick purchase amortizes nicely over many nights of brainy or brainless fun, as you prefer.

Here, then, is our annual consumer guide to some of the year’s new releases, along with a couple of holdovers that I couldn’t resist throwing into the mix.

The list runs the gamut, from Dominion (which Andrew says is fantastic, but I haven’t played) to Sorry sliders, which I’ve seen in the store but hadn’t given serious consideration to until I read about it in this list.

And remember, kids, if you see something you want to buy, go to your friendly local game shop and give them your business. The next generation of gamers (who you’re hopefully helping to create) will thank you when they have a place to play in five years.

i’m on major nelson’s podcast

When I was in Seattle for Child’s Play dinner and D&D with Acquisitions, Incorporated, I got to go to Microsoft’s Millennium campus, where I did a podcast with Major Nelson.

We talked about a lot of different things (mostly gaming, which will probably be unsurprising considering that it’s a gaming-oriented podcast) but I also revealed some news that I don’t think I’ve spoken about anywhere else . . . he typed, enticingly, before leaning back in his chair and sipping his coffee. “Oh yes, that will get people to listen,” he thought. “You’re a clever one, you are.”

“Not as clever as you think!” The dog said.

He fell backward and landed on the floor, the mug shattering and splashing hot liquid across his chest. “A talking dog?! Surely this can’t be happening!”

“It is happening,” the dog said, drawing a dog-sized pistol, “and don’t call me Shirley.”

…

Um. What just happened?

[::Backs away slowly::]

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