“It’s Like Geek Summer Camp for Adults.”

Our second day was spent at sea, which would normally mean it's time to sleep in… but we had a Q&A panel at 9:30am (6:30am, according my my jet lagged brain) so I was up nice and early (damn early… too early… according to my brain) to make it there on time.

I'd guess that about 1/4 of the Seamonkey population came out to interrogate all of the performers, and we had as much fun as we did last year. As expected, The Hodgman and the F. Tompkins were hilarious.

After the Q&A… I can't remember what I did. But it's safe to assume that I spent the remainder of the day sitting by the aft pool, reading and sunning myself, and making sure that the inside of the pirate ship still worked.

You know, I realized that I didn't make notes for every day, because I was too busy just enjoying every day. I guess that's why I don't have lots of video of my kids when they were little, because it was more important to me to be there than behind a camera.

So let's just wrap this up like this: The cruise was amazing. Anne observed that it's like Geek Summer Camp for Adults, and I was as impressed by her observation as I was jealous that I didn't make it first. By the end of the cruise, I was looking forward to the next cruise with the same excitement and "is it time to go yet?" excitement that, until last week, had been reserved exclusively for PAX.

Every single one of the shows was great to watch, but it was the "second stage" stuff: the Karaoke, the other Karaoke, the Open Mic, the Joseph Scrimshaw Show, and the two DJ Flans dance parties that really blew me away. These events were more intimate than the big stage shows, and felt like they were more about all of us doing a thing together than they were about us enjoying watching a thing together. If there's one reason everyone should go on a JoCoCruiseCrazy (seriously, enough of us so we can get a whole boat without any Snorks to complain at us about things), that's it.

I'm sure there are other stories to tell about the cruise, but I'm drawing a blank. If there's something from our voyage that you'd like me to write about, leave a comment and I'll see what shakes out of my brain, which is convinced that it's still on the boat.

JCCC2: in which I “sing” Karaoke on a boat.

So this is a thing that happened.

It has everything Karaoke should traditionally have: not-very-good singing, not-very-good dancing, fucking up of lyrics, and the obligatory small glass of magic juice* responsible for the entire thing.

Enjoy… if you dare:

On our performer mailing list, John Hodgman kept saying that he was going to turn this into a Murder Cruise… none of us believed him, but I can see that he was successful, because I just murdered that poor song. Well played, Hodgman. Well played indeed, sir.

Very special thinks to KatyHaile for sharing my shame with the world, and preserving it for future generations.

*A type of "sauce" if you will.

The boat is still moving, even though I am not on it. But there was music when I was on the boat.

I've gotten much worse at writing relevant titles since an hour ago. Oh well, circle of life.*

Previously, on Battlestar Galactica my blog:

Holland America goes to this private island in the Bahamas that is everything you'd expect from a private beach in the Caribbean, if you were expecting a beautiful white crescent beach with a giant pirate ship on it, and inside the pirate ship is a bar.

We spent the day playing Frisbee and Ball on the beach, with occasional breaks to visit the pirate ship.

"This is the best in the world," I said to Ryan while we were swimming in the ocean. In February.

"Yeah, it totally doesn't suck," he said.

And now, the exciting conclusion to that day…

We swam back to shore and traded the Frisbee for Ball. Ball is what we call this sort of smooshy ball Anne and I bought when we were in Hawaii last year. It's slightly bigger than the palm of your hand, waterproof, and skips off the water when you throw it. I don't know why it's as much fun to play with it as it is, but holy crap Ball is probably the best thing you can do on the beach that doesn't risk getting sand into your neither regions.

After hours of Frisbee and Ball (where we were joined by, at one point, seven or so Seamonkeys), it was time to get back on the boat and set sail for Aruba. We bid the beautiful beach a fond farewell, and rode a tender back to the ship. Which I prefer to call a boat, because it really annoys people who fancy themselves nauticalists, which is a word I just made up to annoy them further.

When we got back on the boat, we cleaned ourselves up and headed into the main theater, to enjoy the Paul and Storm musical programme, featuring the musical music of popular musicians Paul and Storm.

They performed their newest songs, which as it turns out are pleas to creators of popular culture named George.

BEHOLD THIS VIDEO THAT IS NOT FROM THE CRUISE BECAUSE NOBODY HAS UPLOADED ANY YET, BUT FEATURES A SONG CALLED THANKSGIVING THAT YOU WILL ENJOY!

(Fun fact: the Han Solo ice cube tray Storm talked about was bought for me, and given to me as a gift. It's currently filled with frozen water in my freezer.)

AND ALSO ENJOY THIS ONE BECAUSE I COMMAND IT!

Ahhh. Wasn't that nice? Some of the great works from canon were performed. Panties were thrown. Then, it was time for a song about pirates! Featuring the additional vocals of me! And a lot of cover band jokes! ARRRR!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO SEE IT HERE? SORRY IT CAN'T HAPPEN COME ON NERDS GET ON THIS SHIT ALREADY IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS MY GOD AHHH.

Okay, after Paul and Storm and a little bit of me, there was a brief intermission, and then we had our first actual rock performance by an authentic rock and roll musician: Chris Collingwood, who some of you may know as the guy from Fountains of Wayne, performed a set for all of us. He was super nervous about not being relevant to our interests (I know, right? I don't know why he thought that, but there you go) but he was amazing. And then Paul and Storm got to sing Stacy's Mom with him, which was pretty freaking awesome.

BEHOLD THE VIDEO FOR THAT SONG!

Neat!

All kidding and excessive use of all caps aside, Chris was just amazing. He was kind to me and my family, his set was beautiful and fun to listen to, and if I hadn't already been a huge fan of his band (because I was introduced to Fountains of Wayne by John Kovalic, by the way, which is interesting and name-droppy) I would have become a fan for life.

He closed his set with Hey Julie, which is my favourite** Fountains of Wayne song.

"Anyone who wants to sing backup with me can come up on stage right now," he said.

This wave of increduility washed over the audience. "Really?" A girl near us said.

A few people — about a dozen, I guess — found their courage and made their way to the stage, where they sang with him.

The wonderful thing about this, that made me smile so much my face was in danger of splitting apart like I was in some kind of Japanese horror movie, was seeing the girl who'd said "Really?" who was probably around my sons' age, singing and dancing and being the physical embodiment of pure joy. It was obvious that she loved this song, knew all the words, and loved getting to sing it on stage with the guy who wrote it. Maybe I'm just a little too sentimental, but seeing how joyful she was made me #FuriouslyHappy, and even more grateful to be part of the cruise than I already was.

I mean, think about this for a moment: where else could you see a real rock and roll musician perform music you love and then invite you onstage to sing with him?

It turns out that this was just the beginning of the awesome things that were going to happen in this theater, and on this boat, for the next seven days and six romantic nights.

More later…

*If you're looking for footnotes to make sense, you've come to the wrong place, Chachi.

**That's for you, Canadians. I love you.

I am no longer on a boat. This is a thing that happened when I was on a boat.

I'm getting better at writing titles that have something to do with the content of the post, I think, and for that I am going to celebrate with a quick spin in my chair.

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, here's something that happened when I was on a boat. Well, not when I was actually on the boat, but I could see the boat when this happened so…

Okay, fine. I haven't gotten as good at titles as I thought. THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!

Day One: Half Moon Cay

Holland America goes to this private island in the Bahamas that is everything you'd expect from a private beach in the Caribbean, if you were expecting a beautiful white crescent beach with a giant pirate ship on it, and inside the pirate ship is a bar.

We spent the day playing Frisbee and Ball on the beach, with occasional breaks to visit the pirate ship.

"This is the best in the world," I said to Ryan while we were swimming in the ocean. In February.

"Yeah, it totally doesn't suck," he said.

I reached up to catch the Frisbee that Nolan had thrown to us. It skipped off my fingertips and floated on the surface a few feet away. While I swam over to pick it up I said, "In fact, I believe that this has been scientifically proved to not suck."

"Are you sure?"

I threw the Frisbee back to Nolan, who caught it behind his back.

"Yes. My control for this test was sitting inside at home last week because it was too cold to go outside and do anything."

"Have you published this report?" He asked.

I hollered to a Seamonkey* who was nearby, "This totally doesn't suck!"

"You got that right!" He hollered back.

"See? Published and peer-reviewed."

"Seems legit," Ryan said.

More later…

*Passengers on JoCoCruseCrazy are called Seamonkeys. For science. You monster.

I’m on a boat: Stupid Cell Phone Videos

I’m on JoCoCruiseCrazy 2, and I’m taking an Internet vacation until I get home. So every day while I’m gone, something from my archives will post here automatically, for your entertainment. I had a lot of fun picking these different things out, and I hope you enjoy them again, or for the first time.

Today, I'm linking to the first stupid cellphone videos I did. If you're as easily amused as I am, you can watch them all on my YouTube channel.

We Can't Rewind, We've Gone Too Far

Originally published September 2010.

I'm home for a few days before I go back to Vancouver to finish out the season on Eureka. It's nice to sleep in my own bed, actually see my family, and work in my actual office, instead of sitting at a desk in a hotel.

Doctor Parrish was very heavy in the last episode I shot, so I worked 5 of 6 days, an average of 14 hours each day. It was exhausting work, but I loved every second of it. I wish I could get into the details of it, but that is right in the middle of Spoilertown, so I'll just say that it was a lot of fun, and I got to do a lot of origami.

There's this saying, possibly apocryphal, that actors work for free and get paid to wait. One of my days last week, I was called to the studio early, and then ended up not working for about seven hours. This sometimes happens when the scene before me takes longer than anyone expected, or it turns out that they're not going to see me in the background of a shot like they thought. Rookie actors tend to bitch about this sort of thing, but salty veterans like me have learned to be grateful for the job, appreciate that I'm getting paid to wait, and pack a Bag of holding that's filled with books and games and diversions. (Back in the old days, I'd bring tons of stuff, but now I just bring my iPad and a book.)

On this particular day, I played the hell out of Plants Vs. Zombies HD, re-read Metatropolis, spent some time looking for the end of the Internet, and actually started to get bored.

Once I started to get bored, my brain spit out an idea, that went something like this: "Hey, your cell phone has a video camera on it. You should make stupid videos with it, and upload them to YouTube!"

This sounded like a brilliantly stupid idea, so I did as my brain commanded, producing this:

I told Twitter about it, and there was much rejoicing. A few hours later, I did this:

Then I was finally called to set, where I was no longer bored, and my cretive energy was directed into the very useful and productive task of bringing Doctor Parrish to life.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that my stupid videos had been viewed about 7,000 times. "See, we're entertaining more people than just ourselves," my brain said, "let's make more stupid cell phone videos!"

"Yes, sir, Mister Brain," I said. I enlisted the help of some friends, and made this:

I don't know how long this will last, but it's easy, it's amusing to me, and it's a lot of stupid fun, so I'll keep doing it until I lose interest or get distracted and chase a red balloon down the street. If you want to see these stupid things as they become available, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel.