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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Category: Television

Today the US Senate is considering legislation that would destroy the free and open Internet.

Posted on 17 January, 2012 By Wil

“Why is it that when Republicans and Democrats need to solve the budget and the deficit, there’s deadlock, but when Hollywood lobbyists pay them $94 million dollars to write legislation, people from both sides of the aisle line up to co-sponsor it?”

        –Reddit Founder Alexis Ohanian on CNBC.

I put this on my Tumblr thing earlier today, but I'm reposting it here, because it's important to me. If you don't know what SOPA and ProtectIP are, read this technical examination of SOPA and ProtectIP from the Reddit blog and come back when you're done.

SOPA Lives — and MPAA calls protests an "abuse of power."

The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) has looked at tomorrow’s “Internet blackout” in opposition to the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA)—and it sees only a “gimmick,” a “stunt,” “hyperbole,” “a dangerous and troubling development,” an “irresponsible response,” and an “abuse of power.”

“Wikipedia, reddit, and others are going dark to protest the legislation, while sites like Scribd and Google will also protest. In response, MPAA chief Chris Dodd wheeled out the big guns and started firing the rhetoric machine-gun style. 

“Only days after the White House and chief sponsors of the legislation responded to the major concern expressed by opponents and then called for all parties to work cooperatively together, some technology business interests are resorting to stunts that punish their users or turn them into their corporate pawns, rather than coming to the table to find solutions to a problem that all now seem to agree is very real and damaging.”

Can I interrupt for a moment? Thanks. When you complain that opponents didn’t “come to the table to find solutions”, do you mean that we didn’t give NINETY-FOUR MILLION DOLLARS to congress like the MPAA? Or do you mean that we didn’t come to the one hearing that Lamar Smith held, where opponents of SOPA were refused an opportunity to comment? Help me out, here, Chris Dodd, because I’m really trying hard to understand you.

“It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information and use their services. It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today. It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.”

Oh ha ha. Ho. Ho. The MPAA talking about “skewing the facts to incite” anyone is just too much. 

“A so-called “blackout” is yet another gimmick, albeit a dangerous one, designed to punish elected and administration officials who are working diligently to protect American jobs from foreign criminals.”

Except for the part where this is completely false, it’s a valid point.

“It is our hope that the White House and the Congress will call on those who intend to stage this “blackout” to stop the hyperbole and PR stunts and engage in meaningful efforts to combat piracy.”

Riiiiiiight. Protesting to raise awareness of terrible legislation that will destroy the free and open Internet is an abuse of power, but buying NINETY-FOUR MILLION DOLLARS worth of congressional votes is just fine.

I’m so disappointed in Chris Dodd. He was a pretty good senator, wrote some bills (like Dodd/Frank) that are genuinely helping people, and is going to be on the wrong side of every argument as the head of the MPAA. What a wasted legacy.

===

I am 100% opposed to SOPA and PIPA, even though I'm one of the artists they were allegedly written to protect. I've probably lost a few hundred dollars in my life to what the MPAA and RIAA define as piracy, and that sucks, but that doesn't come close to how much money I've lost from a certain studio's creative accounting.

The RIAA and MPAA are, again, on the wrong side of history. Attempting to tear apart one of the single greatest communications achievements in human history in a misguided attempt to cling to an outdated business model instead of adapting to the changing world is a fucking crime.

A free and open Internet is as important to me as the bill of rights. I don't want the government of one country — especially the corporate-controlled United States government — to exert unilateral control over the Internet for any reason, especially not because media corporations want to buy legislation that won't do anything to actually stop online piracy, but will expand the American police state, and destroy the Internet as we know it.

Please contact your Senators and US Representatives, and tell them to vote NO on SOPA and ProtectIP. The future of the Internet — and the present we take for granted — depend on it.

I am literally playing The Dead Meemaw Card so that you’ll watch me on The Big Bang Theory tonight.

Posted on 13 October, 2011 By Wil

Yes, I am literally playing The Dead Meemaw Card so that you'll watch me on The Big Bang Theory tonight.

So… this is happening.

Posted on 17 September, 2011 By Wil

I spent a lot of time at Warner Brothers last week.

While I was there, I saw my friend Kaley, and we took a silly picture:

Wil Wheaton and Kaley Cuoco.

 

Then I remembered that I'm Evil, so we took another picture:

Evil Wil Wheaton is Evil<

 

And if you haven't solved the puzzle by now, this is why I was there:

Wil Wheaton returns to Big Bang Theory in Episode 505.

Check out how I totally play this cool, and don't let on that I'm squeeing like a tween meeting Bieber. Awww yeah.

Eureka: Of Mites and Men

Posted on 18 August, 2011 By Wil

In every rehearsal, when Parrish stands up to triumphantly announce that he's completed his 100 cranes, I did it in my best* Homer Simpson voice, like when he tries to fake out Apu with the lottery scratcher: "WOOO HOOO! ONE HUNDRED CRANES, BABY!"

This episode was more fun to film than I thought was humanly possible. Even though we were all crammed into a tiny set (it actually looks bigger than it was, because it was photographed with wide angle lenses) for several days**, I loved every minute of it. I remember thinking that I was so grateful that we are all friends and all get along, and that nobody in the cast is a diva, because it would have really sucked in that case.

Erica, Felicia, Neil, Niall and I all went to an origami class with a master origami folder so we could learn how to do cranes. I had a really hard time wrapping my head around it***, but once I figured it out, I enjoyed it quite a lot. I also may have specifically inquired about the creating of origami dicks, because I'm twelve. When we were in that little chamber, we'd just sit there between takes, folding cranes and cracking jokes with each other. I can't say for certain, because I don't have a control to test it against, but I think filming this episode brought us all closer together than we already were.

From a character development standpoint, I think this is where we see that Parrish has a lot to prove, and getting to Titan is how he's going to do it. We had to cut so much stuff for time, we lost a couple of scenes where we got to see that Parrish is so completely focused on getting to Titan at all costs, he can't adapt to changing circumstances, and he can't put the team ahead of himself. I don't know about the rest of you, but that's not the kind of guy I want to have to rely upon when I'm {VAR==$miles.to.Titan} away from home. I hope Parrish can learn from the isolation experience in future episodes, because I'm still totally #TeamParrish.

Weren't the mites cool? And how much do you love Sheriff Andy?****

Fun fact: Three weeks before we filmed this episode, I nearly broke my ankle. I knew that we'd be doing this "take off your shirt, Coco" thing with me, so I had been exercising like crazy as part of Project Don't Be A Flabby Piece Of Shit On Television, but it turns out that not being able to stand without a cane for three weeks sort of gets in the way of that. Luckily for me, the producers were sensitive to my vain need to not inflict my Body By Guinness on the world, and let me wear a tank top underneath my jumpsuit. You're welcome, people who didn't have to see a flabby, pasty, nerdbody that you can't unsee.

A lot of viewers enjoyed the Number One line, and we've gotten a lot of credit for making a clever TNG reference … but I don't think that was intentional. All of our characters were given numbers when we were in the chamber, and I think Parrish was just dehumanizing everyone to be a dick and work what he thought was some sort of psychological warfare. 

Or maybe it was intentional all along, and nobody told me … it's all part of the test.

 

* Not very good

**  The show ran almost 25 minutes long, so a lot of very funny stuff had to be cut, but will show up on an extended cut for DVD someday.

*** The line where Zane says Parrish's last few cranes looked like ducks was improvised by Niall, based on me complaining that I was really bad at making cranes, but extremely good at making ducks.

 ****The answers are: YES and A LOT. Congratulations to those of you who passed.

I’ve never been so grateful to be so exhausted.

Posted on 12 August, 2011 By Wil

"How are you feeling?" The question sounded like it had been asked by a person standing at the other end of an aluminum tube, possibly while underwater.

"I can taste sound, and I can hear color," I said, only partially joking. "Can someone please turn down the sky?"

It was just before 8 in the morning, and I had been awake for close to 27 hours. I was standing in the airport in Vancouver, but my day had actually begun in Portland, because I'm working on two shows at once, playing Cha0s in the season finale of Leverage and Doctor Parrish in what it turns out is the series finale penultimate episode of Eureka.

This is a weird and awesome life, and I've never been so grateful to be so exhausted.

Because this happened in the middle of the night, and was only on Twitter, most of you missed it. However, it's hilarious to me and I wanted to make sure you saw it:

@TimHutton: return of the @BethJRiesgraf robot with an introduction by @wilw http://www.twitvid.com/9DSZG

and

@TimHutton: and now… almost live from west linn oregon, @wilw as mecha Chaos and… wait for it…… #Leverage http://www.twitvid.com/6X3ZW

We really do have this much fun when we work together (remember this and this from Eureka last season?) but we can still focus and get the work done … though I'm not sure it's really accurate to call it "work", when we love what we do so much.

I was worried that I would be so tired and spacey by today that there was a real risk that Doctor Parrish and Cha0s would bleed into each other, so I made two lists on the back of a script page. One is titled Cha0s, and the other is titled Dr. Parrish. On each list, I wrote down all the defining charactaristics, as simply and specifically as possible, for each character, so I have it clearly in my head and available to me at a glance on the set. I also drew a thick black line all the way down the page, to remind myself that there needs to be a firewall between the two of them. And because I know it'll be a FAQ, the fundamental difference between the two of them is: Isaac is, in his heart, basically a good person who is a little insecure, and easily annoyed. Cha0s, though, is basically a bad person who is profoundly arrogant, and easily amused.

I have a mercifully late call to Eureka today, before I head back to PDX at ouch-it-hurts-me-are-you-fucking-serious-o'clock tomorrow … and I couldn't be happier about that.

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