Me: I’m going to get some words down on this story I’ve been developing for months!
My brain: Okay. Let’s do this.
My body: Not so fast. I have to cough so much all of our muscles are going to hurt.
Me: Okay. You done?
My body: Not just yet. I also have to sort of ache a little bit and also produce a whole bunch of snot and crap for you. Also, I need to cough some more.
Me: Got it. Now, let’s get to work!
My body: Can we just put a pin in that for a moment? Our throat needs some attention. It’s not nearly scratchy enough. Oh, and this cough isn’t really doing anything, but it’s a whole thing now, and I’m not really ready to give it up.
My brain: Um. Fellas?
Me: Yeah?
My body: What’s up, brain?
My brain: This is bullshit. When you’re ready to get your shit together, you let me know, and we’ll do some awesome creative work. Until then, I’m going to check out and focus on amusing cat pictures.
Me: NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS! I NEED YOU!
My brain: I know he isn’t going to actually buy a boat, but my god this is still as funny as it was the first time.
Me: YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!
My brain: Let’s play pinball arcade, buddy.
My body: Yeah, about that … I’ve slowed down your reactions and increased the coughing. I am really into this whole coughing thing.
Me: I think I’ll just go take a nap.
My body and my brain: Finally, something we can all agree on!
My body: … I’m just going to keep coughing. Sorry not sorry.