Over at boingboing there is a link about Coppola filming an adaptation of “On The Road.”
This project has been around for almost ten years. The first time around, sometime in 1992 or so, I auditioned to play Neil Cassidy. I read a scene straight out of Dharma Bums.
I was already familiar with most of the Beat Generation, and was a huge fan of Burroughs, but I’d never read Kerouac.
I furiously read “On the Road,” and skimmed through “Dharma Bums.” I wanted to have a good sense of his style, so I could bring his character to life faithfully.
I was already a jazz geek, but I took the opportunity to fill several gaps in my collection, so I could listen to Charlie Parker and Chet Baker while I learned my scenes.
I worked with a coach to develop body language, and dialect. I bought clothes from a thrift shop and went through lots of different hairstyles until I got the correct look.
A little over a week later the audition came. I drove myself to this old church on Highland where they have auditions from time to time, listening to Bird the whole way. I walked into a large empty courtyard, filled with fountains, birds, and a beautiful garden. Only the sign-in sheet betrayed the presence of Hollywood. I sat down, focused and ready to go get this job.
While I was waiting, Emilio Estevez arrived.
Wow, I thought, I’m at the same audition as Emilio Estevez, and I’m about to meet the man who is responsible for The Godfather and Apocalypse Now!
I totally forgot why I was there, and became a drooling fan boy.
Emilio Estevez said hi to me, one professional to another, and I said, “Hey.”
There was a pause, and I heard myself say, “I want to tell you how much I like your work. Repo Man is one of my favorite movies of all time, and Breakfast Club is a classic.”
He went one better:”Wil, Stand By Me is a classic, and I love your work too. It’s really nice to meet you.”
I hadn’t told him my name, yet.
The casting assistant came out, and looked at the two of us. Emilio was on the “A” list. I was on my way to the “C” list, having been off TNG for a few years. She said, “Emilio, would you like to come in now?”
He looked at her, and said, “Wil was here before me. It’s his turn.”
She told him that it wasn’t a problem. They were ready for him.
“Well, if you’re ready for me, you’re ready for Wil, and he was here first.” He crossed his legs, and looked at his script.
I was stunned. He didn’t need to stand up for me, and it really didn’t matter to me who went first, but I thanked him and went in.
The room was large and very dark. Like the rest of the church, it was mission-style, with high, open-beamed ceilings and terra cotta tiles on the floor. Coppola was sitting behind his massive beard, a flimsy card table between us.
I approached him, and extended my hand. He didn’t take it, so I sat down.
“You don’t mind if I film you, do you?” he asked rhetorically, showing a palm-sized video camera he was holding.
“No, of course not.”
He asked me to slate my name, and begin the scene.
I did, and proceeded to give the worst audition of my life.
I’d forgotten why I was there, and was a drooling fan boy. I didn’t want to read this scene, I just wanted to talk about Apocalypse Now, and Rumblefish. I wanted to ask him about Marlon Brando, Dennis Hopper, and James Caan.
All these thoughts flooded my head while I stumbled through the scene. My Inner Voice, that internal critic/director/coach that all actor’s have, was screaming at me that I was doing horribly. I didn’t listen, instead hearing Robert Duvall shout, “Charlie don’t surf!” It screamed louder, telling me to stop and start over, but I was too busy watching John Cazale get on that boat, knowing that he was going to get whacked.
Then I was done, and Coppola was thanking me for coming in. We both knew that I’d blown it. We both knew that I’d wasted everyone’s time. I walked out, head hung low.
I passed Emilio Estevez, who asked me how it went. I shrugged, and told him to break a leg.
I drove home in silence, Chet Baker wondering how deep is the ocean?
150 thoughts on “On The Road”
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🙁
Can’t win ’em all.
i think alot of us have had the experience you had in our own realms of experience…i once sent in an audition tape for a radio job in alabama that i realized shortly after i after i sent it was totally lame…i didn’t take the opportunity seriously…and relied on my natural skills to get me the gig…well in this case…for the first time in my life…that was not enough…i let myeslf down…and i let down my friend who had recommended me…but i learned the lesson that was there to learn…as i’m sure you did too…the failures of the past, sometimes are the seeds of future success…if you understand why you fail…that is the first step toward learning how to succeed.
Ummm, yeah…what D.Burr said, that’s what I’m thinkin’. My experience was a failed film school interview – first time I’d ever bombed anything so BAD! After beating myself up for a while, I resolved to never let that happen again; now, 10 years later..I’m grateful that I went through it. Getting into that school would have taken me down a path I was not prepared to go down at that time, and I toughened up and grew into the well-adjusted adult that I am today.
Okay, “well-adjusted” might be a little generous…but you see where I’m going with that. 😉
dont worry wil. Most everyone i know, including me, has done just what you did. It happens. I dont know how many times i have worked my tail of, only to make the biggest ass of myself because of being a drooling idiot. Come to think of it, I do that more than i would like to admit. damn now i sound like an idiot. heh did it again. oh well
Ouch! Well at least you probably learned a lesson from it all. And as of late you have a much better and more relaxed attitude, had that been now I’m sure it would have gone great! Not that its much consolation.
Well Emilio is pretty cool. That was a good thing! And HE knew YOU!
I think, had I been in your shoes, I would’ve done the same thing. Of course, I get the worst stage fright ever, so that’s a moot point.
I’d still remember somthing like that and be slightly annoyed wih myself. Either that or look back and laugh at myself and be happy for the memory. (Kinda like when I accidentally came on to this guy from Highlander:The Series at a convention. Please, don’t ask how one accidentally comes on to some one else…I was 15.) I hope you’re in the happy for the memory group, heh.
Anyway, this was an interesting thing to read. Glad to hear Emilio Estevez sounds like a pretty decent person. 🙂
Emilio Estevez is going on the christmas card list and gets a green sticker.
FFC is not. He is going on the Red Sticker list.
There. Sorted.
Touching story. Very personal. Excellent.
*crosses fingers for audition news*
Your honesty is just so refreshing, Wil. A little painful reading this (or a lot, as it made me about some of my experiences), but whatever core of emotional integrity you have — you seem to bring it to both your acting and your writing.
You learned and grew from it, though. From what you say of your last few auditions, things have changed considerably. Still, sorry you had to go through that.
Break a leg on future auditions.
It’s cool the Emilo stood up for you like that, even tho he didn’t have to. Bummer that his being there caused you to go all wide eye drooly fan boy tho. Tough break.
I am so sorry to hear that you felt that you didn’t do as well as you have hoped. I wish I had something inteligent to say but all I can up with is…. That sucks… and I’m sorry 🙁
Sorry to hear that Wil. I had the same issue auditioning for Xena – “Oh my God, I’m on Xena!” At least I got a secondary role as a guard 🙂
Coppola’s a total asshole for not shaking your hand man.
It’s no loss. He hasn’t made a film worth going out of your way to see since Apocalypse Now.
Good luck on your recent auditions.
Wil, strange to experience such a swing of respect and disrespect in just a few moments. I don’t care how amazing of a director Coppola is… there is never a time not to show respect one person to another. Emilio just ran a couple rungs higher on the ladder, in my mind, in hearing your experience with him. His character and class at that moment shown bright.
I’m sure I would have been just as overrun by my thoughts as you were (likely more so). There’s something about when we respect the work are amazed by someone’s talents… we forget that they are human. There just isn’t a time, whether you are famous and talented or not, for not acknowledging and recognizing a person for who they are. We must (or at least I *must*) treat one another with the inherent value and respect we are all due.
~Janece
Wil:
I hope that your profile is rising through your blog and book; that your recent appearances on TV and your indie films bring you to the “A” list soon. Your honesty and humility as demonstrated in this blog are wonderful. They lets us all see you as a person who has his triumphs and failures just like the rest of us, perhaps felt all the more keenly as yours are public where ours are private.
I look forward to seeing you in some big budget, yet intelligent *grins* film soon, so you can pay someone to lay your sod for you.
I just pray that Hollywood gets ‘On the Road’ right, as it strikes me as one that’d be hard to translate its raw feeling onto film.
cheers!
-strange
Hey you’re only human, and maybe it was a good thing as Mr Coppala didn’t sound like he would be someone I would want to work for if he didn’t even have the decency to shake your hand (jerk). I am a first year nursing student and although I haven’t had an experience quite like that, I do know what its like to go into a situation where you feel somewhat inferior, and like your superiors might adapt the “eat our own young” method. You deserve all the praise in the world for simply going to your audition.
“life expands or shrinks in direct proportion to lifes courage”
Unknown
Cheers
from
Canada
“I was like… EMILIOOOOO!”
Sometimes life bites you hard in the ass.
Sorry about that Wil! Stand strong, I still love you!
Tough break. As others have said before, Coppola is a jerk. But you also found out, from this experience, that you have another fan. An ‘A’ list fan. EE was nice.
In acting, as well as the ‘real world’, there are successes and failures. By learning from your failures, you will be able to make the ‘successes pile’ grow.
Mucho mojo for I, Robot and ego healing mojo for this last audition. It’ll get better, you’ll see.
Bummer. You’ll get ’em next time…
Where is Emilio now?
Maybe next time someone doesn’t take your hand when offered you should say I think i’m in the wrong place and walk out.
Coppola == jerk
Thanks for sharing. As always, your writing is superb. =)
Great story, and what a fun experience. That was also a great example of your writing talents. Cant wait for the book.
And i wish you more MOJO on your current auditions
Odd you should mention the Beats. Have been listening to this box set I got from the library all week.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000032DM/qid=1043027509/sr=8-5/ref=sr_8_5/102-6904297-8953761?v=glance&s=music&n=507846
Kee-razy, man.
Yes I can see why this all happened hey Id probably be star struck also. And in this case we all remember one little phrase…..Shit Happens…. It sucks doesnt it! Sorry Wil 🙁 Your still a legend in our book though so dont worry bout it.
As Mr. Miagi would say – you must learn to FOCUS POWAH!
Hey Wil,
I have had the same experience.
I went for an audition a few years back and was preparing for the scene when Cuba Gooding Jr walked in, he said hi to the 4 of us sitting there and sat between me and a friend of mine, instead of reading the script the 5 of us started talking about movies and stuff. By the time I was called in I had no idea what I was doing there, I flubbed through the lines and walked out of the room without even saying a word back to the director. Cuba smiled and said “Been there…keep trying” as he walked into the room I had just left. Interestingly enough, neither I nor he made the movie.
If only there was a button we could turn off the stupids when we walk into an audition.
Kelly
You win some, you lose some. Look at the bright side you got to meet Francis Ford Coppola. You also got to meet Emilio Estevez and he knew who you were! How cool is that? There’s a lot of people who don’t get to do that on thier best days.
Quite a bit different than the last audition you wrote about.
I wouldn’t mind messing up infront of those guys. Guess it would be kind of like a local Catholic pastor having to give a sermon with the only guy in the audiance being the Pope.
Quite a bit different than the last audition you wrote about.
I wouldn’t mind messing up infront of those guys. Guess it would be kind of like a local Catholic pastor having to give a sermon with the only guy in the audiance being the Pope.
Quite a bit different than the last audition you wrote about.
I wouldn’t mind messing up infront of those guys. Guess it would be kind of like a local Catholic pastor having to give a sermon with the only guy in the audiance being the Pope.
I woulda shaken your hand Wil, I woulda shaken your hand.
best to you and yours…..
Ozzman……
I understand what ur going thu dude. I once picked my nose and had no where to put the booger.
I think we’ve all barked up that tree.
Infomercial?
Did i miss something?
Last I heard,Wil was considering whether or not to do it.
Any one have any info on the “mercial”?
JAN 23rd WIL @ THE COMEDEY CENTRAL WORKSPACE
5 DAY COUNT DOWN BEGINS NOW!
Ok…I have a dilemma…Golden Globes, or the Wesley/Robin Lefler episode of TNG? Ok, TNG it is…
I would have been nervous too Coppola is a big name director. That’s also a nice story about Emilio.
The only thing I can relate it too is seriously messing up job interviews. When I get nervous my mind goes blank & I start blabbering random, weird things.
No worries Wil – I had a very similar experience last month whilst interviewing at Harvard for med school. I felt like the only ‘normal’ (as in not supremely gifted and touched by God Himself) person there. The only thing running through my pea-sized brain as I sat down for my interviews was “Oh my God, I’m at Harvard! WTF am I doing here?” So believe me when I say that I understand how all the preparation and hard work that goes into preparing for important interviews can get tossed out the window as your jaw hits the floor and reality sets in that you’re surrounded by ‘excellence’.
Looking back on it now, I find the entire gut-wrenching experience rather amusing in that who-wants-to-be-around-geniuses-anyway mentality that I’ve carried with me since kindergarden.
So although we may not get called back, we at least are down to earth and havin’ fun. Besides, the last time I checked, you’ve still got the biggest posse around – perhaps enough to start your own militia by now (armed only with intelligence and compassion). I’ll send you the audition mojo – although I don’t think you really need it.
Hey, I didn’t know that you we’re a Kerouac fan. Cool deals. I have gained a greater respect for Emilio because of you. I now forgive him for the Mighty Ducks movies.
How about Bukowski?
When the great movie project that will inevitably come up propells you into “A” list territory where you rightfully belong and FFC asks you to do a film, you will have the nice ability to laugh in his face for being snubbed by his snooty staff. What goes around comes around, you know?
I imagine the likes of Tom Hanks can give a bad audition and still be snatched without blinking. Thats where you will be someday.
The longer time passes the more people forget Wesley Crusher and start to see Wil Wheaton again.
Emilio Estevez is quite a nice guy. His kids go to my school and from what I’ve seen he’s a good father. I never guessed that he was that short though. It was hard for me to treat him as just another parent becuse I was a product of the Mighty Ducks generation. I’m sorry you lost a job over it though. All I lost was a little dignity by turing into a giddy fan.
Wil,
That’s quite a story. 🙂 Thanks for sharing it.
Now… I don’t know you from Adam and you don’t know me so I’m just gonna say this as an admirer and fan. “That’s an interesting story, as long as you don’t use it to psych yourself out.” With all the audtions lately and such, don’t let that stick too firmly in your head. I’m feeling, from what I know of you, that you won’t — not any more, at least. So…
If you’ve already thought about this and yadda yadda and I’m wrong, so be it. But, if not I feel better for having said it.
Break a leg, man! =D
Tank
Wil,
Hey man, I Robot will be the better film for ya.. and if just everyone from on here goes to see it you will have no problems at the box office 😉
JT
Wil,
You would not have been there if you did not have a chance at the part. Man, stay focused on the moment at hand and do your best. breathhhhe.
It worked for me when I had to work with famous people before. I also know that it is easier said than done but its easier than being a parent.
I hope you have learned to calm yourself now better than you did in the early 90’s.
FG
this story just makes me realise even more how i can’t wait for your book, wil…i know it’s not s great that the audition wasn’t so good, but the homour and grace with which you just told it far exceeds the not-so-happy ending…
he didn’t shake your hand, wow, that would make me lose a lot of respect for the man…oh well, at least i can rest assured emilio estevez is a stand-up guy…
and you’d make a great neil cassady…emilio’s probably just the right age to slip in as that crazy kesey guy somewhere in there, too…
thanks wil…
At least Emilio was nice to you. 🙂
Sometimes all it takes is meeting a nice person to make the day worthwhile.
And at least you are good enough to know you screwed up and admit it. If you were a bad actor or an idiot you would think you did great. 🙂
So don’t sweat it.
I know what it’s like to really think you’re ready for something and then get thrown off. See, I had studied this monologue for my acting class in high school really hard. I knew it by heart. But my teacher really hated me (for reasons I have never figured out). She told me a day before it was due that I had to do another scene she picked, which was actually a dialogue. So I studied it as best I could and tried to get myself ready on the day that I was to read it (it was basically my final exam). Right before I went to do the scene, the teacher told me not to even try to sign up for the advanced class bc I couldn’t act. Oh, and then she said I had to go do the scene she assigned… And she wouldn’t let me explain that it was a dialogue.. It just really ruined my confidence (I later found out that she did that to the kids she didn’t like– she also taught English and told all the of kids she didn’t like that they were going to fail their finals).
Hey again, Wil. Here’s a quote that I was going to include with my earlier post – but I couldn’t remember it verbatim. So, I looked it up:
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
~Mark Twain
Wil,
Who cares if you missed the audition, your book is going to blow them away! Much Mojo to you!
Off! Bittersweet memory. Cool to hear that Emilio is such a good guy. The hell with Coppola. He hasn’t made a decent movie in ages. He lost his touch years ago.