Cruise Trek –Day 4
Tuesday, 02 June, 2003
8:00a.m. HST
Somewhere in the Pacific, between Hawaii and Fanning Island
The air is heavy and humid. We are under a blanket of grey clouds, but it doesn’t look or feel like rain. The seas are exceptionally calm, too. I doubt they are more than five feet. The Pacific ocean is very . . . well . . . pacific!
This ship that we’re on is HUGE. She holds over 2200 passengers, and over 1100 crew. She has something like 12 restaurants, two swimming pools, a health club, a spa, and several bars. There’s even an English pub on board where I had Guinness and Fish-n-Chips.
Yesterday, I did two CruiseTrek events. In the first event, Anne and I played in the “Not-So-Newlywed Game,” against three other couples, all of them Star Trek fans. I was certain that we’d do well on the standard questions, but I knew that if there were any Star Trek questions, we were dead, because Anne doesn’t watch Star Trek at all. I think she humors me when I am watching it on TNN and I say, “Honey! Come watch this! It’s so cool!” but other than that, she’s not interested.
However, there were only two Star Trek questions. The first, asked of me, was, “Which Star Trek male will your wife say she would most like to be with?”
I said, “My wife doesn’t watch Star Trek, at all, which is one of the reasons I married her.”
Laughter.
“I mean, she’ll humor me when I’m watching TNG on TNN, or searching for some scene on one of my DVDs, and she does a great job of pretending to care about things like reversing the polarity and emitting a pulse into the heart of the anomaly . . . ”
More laughter. It’s fun to entertain these people.
“But she just doesn’t like nerdy things like I do. So she wouldn’t know to answer ‘Picard,’ or ‘Kirk,’ so she had better say ‘Wesley!'”
Huge laugh, and some applause.
When they brought the girls back in, and the question was asked, Anne looked horrified and said, “I don’t watch Star Trek.”
It was like that time Bart Simpson said, “I didn’t do it.” It brought down the house.
“I mean, I’ll watch it a little bit if Wil is watching it . . . but I just don’t get it. So I’ll say . . . Wil’s character?”
I jumped out of my chair, and held the card up high. Everyone, including the people we were playing against, cheered for us. It was very cool.
The next question was, “Which Star Trek woman will your wife say she would most like to be?”
Okay, Anne could care less, but I know that she’s heard me talk about Ashley Judd a lot, and people ask her about that scene (you know the one) all the time . . . so I knew that there was a good chance she’d answer “Robin Lefler,” which she did. Bingo, baby! We went four for four!
When it was time for the wives to answer questions, the first Star Trek question was, “Which Star Trek woman will your husband say he fantasizes about?”
I said, “Have any of you seen my wife? Why in the world would I want to fantasize about anyone else?!”
How’s that for scoring points, eh? Feel free to use that one, guys. *wink*
After the laughter died down, I said, “Well, Dr. Crusher is right out, (har har har) and Anne hasn’t seen the Detox Gel scene from Eneterprise . . . .so I’m pretty sure that Anne would say . . . ‘Ashley Judd?'”
She held up the SAME CARD I HAD USED for her question, because she gave the same answer! Yes!!
The next question was, “What is your husband’s favorite food?” (Guinness, which we got right) and the final Star Trek question was, “Which Star Trek male will your husband say he’d most like to be?”
I paused a second and said, “Picard?”
Anne jumped out of her chair, gave a “whoop!” and held up the card that said, “Captain Picard.”
She later told me that she was pretty sure I wouldn’t want to be Wesley, and that she’s heard me go on and on about how cool Patrick is, and how much I liked that character.
When it was all over, we went seven for eight, and took home first prize!!
The second CruiseTrek event I participated in was an actor’s panel with George Takei, who played Sulu on the Original Series, and Vaughn Armstrong, who has played something like 11 different aliens on all four new Star Trek series. Vaughn is a really wonderful man, and I’ve really enjoyed talking with him. I found out yesterday that he played one of the main Klingons in the “Heart of Glory” episode we did on TNG.
Heh. Anne just woke up. She has her “I just woke up” face on . . . it’s too cute and I love it.
Anyway, I sat on this panel for an hour, answering questions and listening to the two of them talk, and, for the first time in years, when the inevitable “What are you doing now?” question came, I didn’t feel like a loser.
In the past, when that question has come, I have struggled to keep my head up when I’ve said things like, “I just did this movie called Python,” or “Well, I keep coming in second on auditions, but I know I’ll get something soon,” (trying very hard to convince myself that it was true, trying very hard to believe that I still had a chance to be TV’s Wil Wheaton again.)
I was so happy yesterday to hold my head up high, look the woman who asked the question right in the eye, and answer, “I’ve written a book, and I’m very proud of it. It’s called Dancing Barefoot, and it’s available through my publishing company, Monolith Press.”
One last thing, and then I’m going to eat breakfast and play shuffleboard.
When I signed up for my Internet access, the guy who works in the Internet Cafe looked at me, and he said, “Hey! It’s Wil Wheaton, the author!”
It’s the first time anyone has said that to me. I think I could get used to it.