It’s raining today for the first time in months. It’s a warm, tropical rain that has brought thunderstorms into my town, and even though lightning and explosive claps of thunder kept me up most of the night (and terrified my poor dogs), it makes me happy. In fact, thunder is booming right now and my car is getting a much needed free bath.
The last few days, actually, have been some of the best days I’ve had this year. I spent Saturday with my friends, playing super geeky games. I hadn’t seen them in months, thanks to mono and incompatible schedules, and I didn’t realize until I was sitting at Cal’s dining room table, drinking wine and playing Spooks, just how much my soul needs them, and how much my friends mean to me.
Isn’t that weird? It is so easy to take your friends for granted, all the while thinking about them, caring about them, and enjoying their company . . . but not considering what they actually mean to you, until you don’t see them for an extended period of time for one reason or another.
Sunday, I played in the Main Event of the World Championship of Online Poker. I busted out in 488th place — not too shabby out of over 1400 entries, but well out of the money. I went out hating myself, but the tournament quickly faded from my memory after I was done, because Anne and I went over to our friend Stephanie (who introduced us) and Patrick (her awesome husband)’s house for Patrick’s birthday dinner: bone-in fillet, heirloom tomato salad, creme brulee . . . and wine. Oh, sweet jesus on a pogo stick, the wine. Patrick is the general manager of a very popular restaurant here in Pasadena, which means he has access to some of the best wine from here to Milliways. I could go on and on about the amazing wine we had, but I’ll just say: ZD Reserve Cabernet. Holy. Fucking. Shit. It’s a good thing Anne was driving.
On the way to their house, Anne said, “You know, I love our house, and I love doing things with the kids, but sometimes it’s important to spend time with your grown-up friends, you know?”
I couldn’t have agreed more. I told her about Saturday at Cal’s house, and how I’ve missed our friends these past few months. Then we ate dinner and I told everyone just how much I love them. A few too many times.
When I woke up Monday morning, the smell of freshly-brewed coffee was heavier than usual in our house. I could hear bacon sizzling in the kitchen, and as soon as I got out of bed, Ferris and Riley almost knocked me down, they were so excited to see me. (Tangent: don’t you love how your dogs do that? I once saw a sticker or shirt or something that said something like, “Lord, please let me be the person my dog thinks I am.” Dog owners know what I’m talking about, and Ferris must know that I’m typing about her, because she just rolled over onto her back, and started wagging her tail.)
I walked out to the kitchen, where Anne was cooking.
“Is there coffee?” I said, in my tiniest voice.
“There sure is,” she said. She turned from the stove to the coffee machine, and spun around with the best coffee mug, ever. It had a picture of a pirate on it, and it said, “Dead ’till I gets me coffee.”
“This is for Talk Like A Pirate Day,” she said.
“Oh my god,” I said. “This is the best mug ever!”
She hopped a little bit, and maybe she made a happy squealing noise. “I was so excited to give you this,” she said, “it’s been killing me to keep it a secret!”
“How long have you had this?” I said.
“Almost two weeks,” she said. “Do you love it?”
“I love you” I said, and kissed her with my icky coffee breath.
We ate breakfast, and I settled down at the table to get a lot of work done, while she got ready to go down to The OC to pick up some blinds.
I checked e-mail and worked on Games of our Lives for about twenty minutes, when she bounced back into the dining room.
“Watcha doin’?” She said.
“Workin’,” I said. “Why?”
“Well, since I have to go down to Anaheim to get Nolan’s blinds, I’m going to be right around the corner from Disneyland . . . and I thought we could use our annual passes to go ride Pirates of the Caribbean. You know, for Talk Like A Pirate Day.”
I sprang out of my chair. “That is the best idea in the history of ideas!”
“Really?” She said, “you’ll really take the morning off to play with me?”
“If I didn’t, what’s the point of being my own boss?”
Fifty-seven minutes later, we picked up Nolan’s new blinds, and seventy-five minutes later we were in line for Pirates of the Caribbean. We held hands the entire time we were there, and shared a Churro in a sickly cute fashion that would have mortified our children, if they’d been around to see it. (Note to self: remember you just came up with a new way to mortify the children. Use it at the next available opportunity!)
I must have told Anne, “I’m really glad that we came to do this,” fifteen times in the span of a couple of hours. It was really fun, and a great capper to three supremely wonderful, perspective-restoring days.
On the way back to the freeway, we passed this lumber yard on Ball Road that always has interesting sayings on its sign. Yesterday, the sign said, “No man is a failure who has friends.”
The truth is, for a couple of months, I’ve felt like a huge, colossal, stinking failure in a lot of things that I’m not willing to go into right now. But spending a weekend with my friends, and a surprise Monday with my wife reminded me of some advice I’d been given and forgotten: Don’t let your work become your life, because when work isn’t happening, then what do you have?
Work may be frustrating, but life? Life is good.
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Great post, thanks for sharing Wil!
Work to Live, Not Live to work.
Anj said exactly what I was going to say! I love my job and the things I get to do but it allows me to have a life – and that includes fun things with family & friends (and a good bottle of wine now and then). Hubby and I have just move cross country to be closer to my family and have left many friends behind. I miss them. But I know they’re just a phone call or an email away and we’ll be back to visit soon.
Thanks for reminding me how important they are to me.
When I read, “while she got ready to go down to The OC to pick up some blinds,” I thought for a moment that Anne had caught the poker bug.
Nice post.
If lightning makes you happy, come visit us in Northeast Florida during the Summer months. You’ll split your pants laughing!
The job is definitely a means to an end. I left a very well-paying job earlier this year because, in the words of one of the partners, “I didn’t share the dedication to the company” that everyone else did. Translate that using the “Office-Space-Universal-Bullshit-Translator” and you get, “You’re not willing to work 80-hours a week on salary.” They constantly talked about things like “passion”. My family is my passion. My objective at work is to be a good employee, get paid, and spend as much time out of the office with the people I love as possible.
You are very fortunate to be able to have the best of both worlds…you make a living doing things you love to do, and you get to maximize time with family and friends in the process. You’re a lucky guy, Wil!
aww, that just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :3
did you watch the pirates movie too?
What an excellent, uplifting post. I’m so jealous that you got to go to Disneyland on Talk Like a Pirate Day. Ye lucky, scurvy dog, ye.
The lumber yard quote is from the end of It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s Clarence’s note in the book he leaves for George. It was one of my favorite lines to say when I was in a stage production of that show last Xmas, even if it did choke me up a few times. I try to remember it when I’m feeling low. Thanks for the reminder!
Lovely little meander Wil. You make me remember what I love about My husband, I know days like those as well. I just moved from my home town and am missing my freinds like crazy, I’ve never appreciated them more. I resonate with that, and I’m glad you had such a good weekend. Espcially since it makes you write so much good stuff.
I used to think it was a silly cliche, but it’s true – things are never as bad or as good as they seem.
The Up side of the pendulum is so much more preferable, isn’t it?
Ah, Clarence, Angel, Second Class.
I’ll tell you, Wil, I caught part of your interview last night; regarding the promotion of “Just a Geek,” which is simply wonderful, by the way. How frustrating for you that your publisher was so unimaginative and combative of your instinct for your target audience(s). For what it’s worth, I think your instincts are spot on; there are many, many Gen-Xers out there who, although we’ve not had major television series nor Rob Reiner classics to our credit, are past the quarterlife crisis, staring down the 30s, and have had the crap kicked out of us, too, on the path towards what we think we want and deserve professionally. It’s especially frustrating when we know we’re not only capable, but far and above qualified. You tell your story with beguiling sincerity. Your gift is your instinct; both as a storyteller (as an ‘everyman’ and notable celebrity) and an actor. You are not a failure.
I’m glad you had a great weekend…we all need those…:) I sure do agree with Anne about spending time with grown-up friends..I’m a stay at home mom with a 2 1/2 year old daughter (My daughter and husband are the most important things in the world to me)but it sure is nice to “escape” once in awhile.
This was something we were discussing here just recently. That all relationships require work. Not HARD work, of course, but definitely work. i.e. you have to make an effort to ensure they don’t wither from lack of attention. And sometimes there are so many things in our lives, that our friendships are the first thing to lose the attention they need. I’ve been through a rocky time in the last 12 months (my Annus Horribilus) and it’s my friends that have gotten me through it. And not in any deep way…just by being there with good food, great company and…yes, alcohol when required. 🙂 Friendship feeds the soul.
Great post Wil. Oh, and definitely jealous of the cup.
Best weekend ever! (and best monday, I reckon’)
Thank you for sharing this with us. It made me feel really good – which I haven’t been for some time. Thanks!!
AMEN!
Long time reader, First time poster. After the past week or so, this made me sit down and really take account of “what I have”, and not “what I want”. Thanks Wil.
Life IS good…and we’re starting to get some of that rain up here in Ess Eff. It’s nice…it’s washing all the pee off the sidewalks. 🙂
Arr.
Thanks for the reminder, Wil. As a person who feels like a “huge, colossal, stinking failure” for not making progress on her dissertation, but who is blessed with a kind husband and friends, I needed to remember that my academic life is not all I am.
Nicely done!
OMG! My dog, Sandy, must have known I was reading about her West coast doppelganger because she just came into the room and sat next to me! Dog people rule!
Hey Wil, we miss you here in Austin! Check out http://www.linucon.org/ to see how much.
God you’re a good writer. You express feelings and smells and sights like I’m really there. Wish I was. Hold on to what you have, Wil, and keep letting us in on it.
John
When you are in the roughest of times where things look like they will never turn around, friends and family are there to support you. I believe that if you have nothing else in the world, friends would always be the one thing you would have. Very awe-inspiring and thank you for sharing. Did you win in Spooks? Sounds interesting.
[email protected]
Matt
Thanks for the ZD plug Wil! I’ve met the people than run the winery (through my husband who is in the wine business), and they are terrific people. They really care about what they make too. Glad to hear you enjoyed the Cab reserve. I think we have a bottle or two in the cellar still, if your ever back down in O.C.. ha..
I know what you mean about the “grown-up” time. Before our son was born in 2001, the hubby and I used to have people over for dinner on a weekly basis. We both liked to cook, and the wine and conversation were always free flowing. Many late nights. Then boom, a kid, and all that came to almost a standstill (and rightfully so at the time). Now that our son is almost four, and sleeps through anything, we once again get to have dinner “parties”, and we find it so good for the soul.
Sounds like you found a bit of yourself that had gone missing. Good for you!
Northern Sun has those shirts & stickers
http://www.northernsun.com
Just search for “dog” – they’ve got other stuff that’s right up your alley too. 😉
Glad to hear you appreciating life – you always find the right words to make it feel as if we’re sharing the joy with you. *warm fuzzies*
Ah that sounds like such a fun day. I really wish I had remembered “Talk Like a Pirate Day.” Two of my teachers did. And I was going to watch Pirates of the Caribbean that night, but instead opted for Hitchhiker’s Guide.
Your post made me feel really happy. I think that really fixes the fact that a huge shelving unit fell on me today with large books. True story, really, but my day wasn’t so bad… plus, I’m getting my own copy of Just A Geek for volunteering! Sweetness!!
Wil,
Thanks for the reminder of exactly why I left my stressful rat-race of a job in Melbourne to come back to Tassie. I’ve had plenty of days like yours, where I’m truly grateful to be alive and living where I am.
Aww. I’m so jealous. I wish I was within driving distance of Disneyland or Disney World. I’m here in NY, far from both! Sigh.
Seriously, you’re such a good writer. Your posts make me smile.
Love your writing. Your post made me feel happy. Please keep on the good work.
It is exactly this, Mr. Wheaton, that is the reason for whatever you want to call ‘us’. Railbirds, fans, posse, zoo. You give us these little glimpses into your life and we see that your life is just like ours in so many ways. You’re a regular guy, albeit with an irregular job, who does regular stuff with his regular family…in very regular ways. But it is because you let us have these glimpses and because you can draw us into that which you choose to show that makes you anything but “Regular”. In the past week, I have seen you lend your name to a wonderful cause and raise a lot of money and awareness for that cause. You can say all you want to that it is PS that should get all the credit, but how many people who donated last week would not have if you had not been a part of it. In the past week, I have seen you be a wonderful sport as you were hounded with the horrible Wesley references while trying to play, a humble ‘celebrity’ as people pointed out the presence of your supporters, and a gracious, kind, and friendly player at the table.
All these things, if nothing else, ensures that you are NOT a failure. Live your life. We look forward to our next glimpse of it.
oh man, i’m dying from the cute.
WOW!! I so didn’t realize that until after I read your blog today how much all of my friends really mean to me even if some of them live far away from me. What you wrote made me glad that I have the friends that I do and that I have the time to hang out with them even if it means bowling. Friends are the best.
This is lovely and beautiful.
Man, I live in Central Florida, and it never dawned on me to go do the ride in honor of the special holiday.
I celebrated by taking my talking 18″ Jack Sparrow to my classes. 😉
Sounds wonderful!
I love the feeling of release that comes after a long-awaited rain.
Whenever you’re up in Seattle, there’s this store you should check out called “Pirate’s Plunder.” It’s got lots of fun pirate related stuff. That’s where I got the shirt I wore for Talk Like A Pirate Day, which read “Piracy: Hostile Takeover, without the paperwork.
Milliways. Yeah. I can always dig a good Douglas Adams reference. I was reading that book while on the treadmill today. Resistance is useless.
Wil,
That is a great entry.
FG
Wil,
Sometimes we can all forget just exctly what friends and family mean to us. You not only saw the light, but showed it to every reader of your blog. Way kewl!
And I’d pay money to see the expressions on Nolan and Ryan’s faces when you do motify them! LMAO!
Yey! I love reading about you and Anne. And if you love the rain, move to Arizona. Monsoon is AWESOME around here!
Ahhh! D-land on Talk like a pirate day! How fun! Even after thirty-odd years, that ride never gets old for me. Never. I will never tire of the wench auction, the drunk guy sleeping with the pigs, Blackbeard and his ship firing on the fort (Ye scurvy cockroachers!) and the “Don be cheeeeky” woman yelling from the upstairs window with the shutters while the town burns.
And now I have Pirate Envy. 😀
rock on! \m/
Life is good, indeed, and you sound so happy, it’s awesome! People take *so much* for granted and it’s nice when there’s a way to step back and recognize what’s important.
What a nice day. Coffee, bacon, loved ones, and roller costers.
Good times.
ROCK!
C.
Awesome post! It’s posts like these that are my favorite.
But……”Oh. Sweet Jesus on a pogo stick”? lol. I think I might just use that one.
Great post, Wil.
See? It always comes back.
Excuse the profanity, but the only reply to your most excellent blog entry is this:
Fucking-A!
It’s great when life is firing on all cylinders….
Awww, very sweet post Wil. Great way to start off my morning. Thank You!!!
Wow. Thanks for the reminder about what’s important. I mean, I knew it… but I needed to hear it today, especially. I’m cryin’, but it’s a good cry. 🙂 Thanks, Wil!
Shane took my line.
“…while she got ready to go down to The OC to pick up some blinds.”
All-in in The OC.
Excellent post.
You know, I haven’t been reading for too long, but when I read your post awhile back about the site starting to lose somewhat, my first thought was that the only thing it seemed to have in greater sparsity was this sort of entry. In my limited experience, the writing I most enjoy is your writing about your ordinary life, Wil. This was an awesome read.
This is probably one of the best posts I have read in a long time. Makes me want to run out with the girlfriend and play hooky from work today.
It may be time for me to do the same sort of wakeup call! Thanks Wil!
You make me miss Pasadena and the good old days of going to Disneyland for the heck of it. (When it only cost $20)
It’s the little things that truly make us happy.