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Dogshaming Marlowe

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Click to embiggen Marlowe's report card for today.
Click to embiggen Marlowe’s report card for today.

I love my adorable puppy, but boy was she an asshole today.

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15 November, 2012 Wil

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in which a rage comic is created → ← in which tropical drinks are ordered

38 thoughts on “Dogshaming Marlowe”

  1. mimi78 says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Hm… there seems to be nothing here…

  2. sandrak says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:25 pm

    Aha! There it is!!!

  3. Karlen Kendrick says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    These aren’t the dog shaming pictures you’re looking for *waves hand*

  4. Amy Lee Keller says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    awww I can’t believe that sweet little puppy did all those bad things.

  5. mimi78 says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Wow. That’s quite a day. I can’t seem to delete my previous comment. : P

  6. Steve Overstreet says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    Please remember that a dog is only acting out because of what he is given from his master . . . or he he’s really secretly attempting to drive you mad!

    1. Wil says:
      15 November, 2012 at 10:16 pm

      Oh, I know. It was rainy today, so she didn’t get her walk this morning and she was acting out a lot.

    2. John Nickel says:
      16 November, 2012 at 10:01 am

      So you’re saying the dog only did this because he saw Wil eat his own poop, then hit some guy in the nuts? Well, that changes my opinion about this entirely.

  7. Jeff Augstein says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    Sir I have a feeling that the cat maybe the cause of this. They are planing to kill you.( as all cats do) Trying to get the dog kicked out and there by leave you defenceless.

  8. kariel73 says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    Look at that adorable face! I’m sure she didn’t mean to do any of those things…

  9. Joe Grover says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    That’s a busy dog. I only did, like, half of those things today.

  10. Michael Svihura says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    But… But… That face!

  11. 50SevenSputnik says:
    15 November, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    It’s hard to forget the poop eating when they try to make with the face kissing.

  12. doogman says:
    15 November, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    The last one is the worst. OW.

  13. Gregg Barnes says:
    15 November, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    She was sure busy! How can you be mad at that cute face!

  14. milkbrain says:
    15 November, 2012 at 6:06 pm

    What I found most interesting was how by the end of the note, your writing got REALLY big… also, I’m sorry if you were the victim of the last item :/

  15. David R. Webb says:
    15 November, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    Hmm…I wonder who the guy was what got hit in the nutz?? Hard to believe that cutie can be bad.

  16. alpacamike says:
    15 November, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    Seems absolutely normal. Did Marlowe sign-off on the agreed upon terms of a “good dog”? Maybe we have a “good dog” requirements problem…

  17. Grange95 says:
    15 November, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    How dare you shame that adorable puppy! He ate dog poop to make you proud!

  18. wendytthomas says:
    15 November, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    She doesn’t even look upset. hehe

    Maybe instead?

    “Today my dog saved me from cleaning up her poop, everyone else’s poop, cleaned the dining room table, and uhhhhhhhh,” I can’t find a silver lining for the last one unless someone else was in the room and at least got entertainment out of it. Silver lining. At least you don’t need to clean up dog poop tonight. I’d probably feed her a mint before I kissed her, though. hehe

    Cute doggie. I saw someone at the park tonight who made me think of Marlowe. They mostly went *boing boing boing boing* *WHAT WAS THAT?????* *boing boing boing*

  19. grieger says:
    15 November, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    Wait a minute…I think there was a mix up. That’s MY two dogs daily agenda…

  20. Richard Mote says:
    15 November, 2012 at 8:54 pm

    It may be that dog poop is simply the most sumptuous delicacy imaginable, tastier than earl grey flavored ice cream topped with bacon (which should totally be an actual thing). Empirical evidence is, for obvious reasons, hard to obtain.

    Dogs have amazing senses, too. Maybe Marlowe has a “dude needs a nut-check” sense that we humans don’t even have a name for?

    Or maybe she’s amused by the funny squeeky noise people make when you do that . . . like a chew toy with the expensive Real Tears ™ option. 🙂

  21. megamom82 says:
    15 November, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    So our puppy is a poop eater as well, and I talked to our vet and she said, “add a little meat tenderizer to her food for a few days and it will discourage her from eating her poop”. So being curious I asked “does the meat tenderizer make the poop taste bad?” and the vet says with a smile “I don’t know, I don’t eat poop!”

    Needless to say, I instantly turned red, and told her I guess I should just be happy it works.

  22. wabbit89 says:
    15 November, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    My two younger dogs after get report cards that are very similar. It’s a good thing she’s cute, right? Now, my old dog, ever so far from being a pup, added, “Scare mom to death by not eating breakfast, then jump on the couch and act like a puppy again because I’m actually fine but wanted something else for noms today.”

    Sigh. Those silly beasts.Wouldn’t trade ’em, but some days… 😉

  23. t_kreuter says:
    16 November, 2012 at 2:52 am

    My puppy, Cody, does that last one all the time. To me. As his greeting. It’s all a matter of their aiming abilities. And a shark with a laser beam on its head isn’t as accurate as he is.

    As for those others, I blame the cats. You may love them, and as they have been there longer, have some form of seniority over Marlowe, everyone knows cats love to mind-fuck everything.

  24. Joanna Z says:
    16 November, 2012 at 5:38 am

    We rescued our Aussie/Golden mix, he’s now 8 months, and have been going through similar growing pains. Thankfully he hasn’t eaten his own poo, but he did gleefully rub his face on another dog’s poo. Most days my pup is the most adorable, fluffiest,and nubbin-est of pups but other days…Man, I can’t even lay down catch up on the world for 5 minutes before he’s getting into something he’s not supposed to. It’s still worth every minute though.

  25. diim says:
    16 November, 2012 at 6:08 am

    I can relate,

    I have a little male Jack Russell and yesterday when I got home there were accident bombs everywhere. I was so pissed but it’s forgivable. He’s a terror but I love him.

  26. PoodlesMcGee says:
    16 November, 2012 at 6:59 am

    I puppysat for my parents the other day, and I caught him digging in the litter box. I fussed at him and chased him out. Then last night I scooped the litter, and found half a dog biscuit! I thought he was looking for a treat, but instead he was hiding one. He’s…not getting that back.

  27. Pam Hobbs says:
    16 November, 2012 at 9:06 am

    “poop”…. my friend’s doggy eat’s the cat’s poop. Those great sniffers can smell the undigested food. Hmmmm… guess I’ll start that diet now. blach….

  28. Denise K. says:
    16 November, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Marlowe’s report card for Wil

    ___ Was a good human
    X Yelled at me for picking up poop (humans pick it up, I just don’t have hands and baggies!)
    X Yelled at me for chasing the cat, who had just run across the table
    X Got in the way of my happy dance causing me to hit him in the nuts
    X Didn’t give me dried salmon treats.

  29. peak383 says:
    18 November, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    I can’t look at her and not think…awe…”who’s a good puppy”

    -side note…I know you use beer smith for your home brew recipes…have you seen their new app for android (and possibly apple, I have not looked). It’s killer and really helpful.

  30. Jan061 says:
    19 November, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Time to call Cesar?

  31. oakstave says:
    19 November, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    Feeling your pain… My best friend is bringing in dead birds… the birds my partner feeds…. and she is very unhappy with said feline… ever tried to shame a cat? They have none.

    On an unrelated note, thanks for whitelisting me so quickly Wil. You Rock!

  32. Alan says:
    19 November, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    For a dog that has such nice handwriting, you would think he would better behaved.

  33. Zach Lyons says:
    20 November, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    It’s kinda amusing that when dogs are dogshamed, they tend to *look* shamed. When cats are catshamed, they tend to look completely unimpressed.

    1. David R. Webb says:
      21 November, 2012 at 3:53 pm

      Or smugly satisfied.

  34. Michael Vandegrift says:
    21 November, 2012 at 6:14 am

    Yeah, that last one is not okay? I mean, I do that sometimes too. Some people just deserve a slam to the nuts…the guy was probably asking for it. Good dog?!

  35. Angie4b1g says:
    23 November, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    You so lie. That dog is sweet and completely innocent. I can tell by that face.

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