a brief history of Radio Free Burrito

Way back in 2005, when I was trying to figure out where the next mortgage payment would come from, I tried just about anything creative that I could think of to help support my family.

Mostly, I did that by writing. I did columns and freelance work, and wrote a few books. It was creatively satisfying, and it helped us get through each day, then each week, and eventually through a few years.

Way back in 2005, the whole podcasting thing was just getting started, and I saw an opportunity to live out my childhood dream of having a radio show (in fact, even earlier in the 2000s, I had done a live broadcast where I played music and did my best DJ impression. I had to give it up for reasons that are lost to history). Just as blogging tools like Greymatter and Blogger had made it easy for me to become a self-published writer, Garageband made it easy for me to become a self-published radio sort of guy. Back then, I felt incredibly guilty if I did something or spent money on something that was just for fun, without also supporting my family. I couldn’t really afford to do a radio show or podcast just for fun, but maybe I could get sponsors or sell ads or take donations or whatever.

So way back in 2005, Radio Free Burrito was born. It never really helped me support my family, but it helped me find some more creative confidence, and it gave me an opportunity to pretend I was one of those late night DJs I grew up loving, listening to on a tiny transistor radio in my bedroom long after I was supposed to have gone to sleep.

I did Radio Free Burrito with some regularity for several years, trying my best to stick to a weekly schedule, but since this was back before I got treated for Depression, it was really, really hard to stick to it. I put a lot of work into each episode, and sometime around 2008, it just felt like it wasn’t worth the effort.

But something happened around the end of 2009. I don’t remember what it was, but — wait. I think I know what it was. I think that’s when I finally got treated for Depression.

Huh. That’s weird. I hadn’t really put these two things together until just now. Which is ironic, because I’ve been struggling to hold a pretty bad Depression and Anxiety thing at arm’s length for at least a week.

ANYway, around the end of 2009, I found a groove, and I got comfortable with the sound of my own stupid voice. Radio Free Burrito hit what I’ll call its golden age during 2010, and I looked forward to it so much, I started another podcast to support my book Memories of the Future, Volume 1.

After almost a year of consistent releases, my life started to really turn around. Not to mistake correlation for causation, but this was when I started to work like crazy as an actor again. I think it was around 2011 that I started working on Leverage, then Eureka, then Big Bang Theory, and then Tabletop was born. As much as I had loved working on the Burrito every week, I actually didn’t have a lot of time to spend on it, and since I felt like it never really passed more than a couple hundred listeners, anyway, I had to make a choice to let it go and invest my time and creative energy in other places.

The last show I did was in February of 2013. People asked me about it all the time, but I was pretty sure that Radio Free Burrito was done.

Until this weekend, when I had an idea.

See, I’ve been listening to Serial and Snap Judgment and 99% Invisible and Nerdist and Dan Carlin.  Thanks to all of that, something landed in my brain and refused to leave. See, I’m sort of between big projects at the moment (finishing Tabletop and getting started on our RPG spinoff), and I think that The Thing I’m Going To Do Between Things is Radio Free Burrito. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay on a weekly schedule, but I think I can. I think that, if I remember that the point is not to make something perfect, but is actually to just make a thing, I’ll enjoy it, and maybe a couple hundred people will enjoy it with me.

So yesterday, I did a brand new Radio Free Burrito. It isn’t great, but it isn’t terrible, and it’s a thing where there wasn’t a thing before. I had fun when I was making it, and all I’ve been able to think about since I made it was what I’m going to do when I make the next one, which is pretty cool.

I won’t do this with every episode, but I wanted to share it and its show notes, here on the mothership, so as many people as possible can know about it.

Well, it looks like we’re really back, for reals, and on an actual schedule. Welcome to Radio Free Burrito Episode 35 – Ring of Fire

This week, I talk about the first thing to come to my mind, including trains and books. I tell a pretty gross story that gives the episode its title. This will also be the first episode that has an actual name, because some day I’d like to come up with something as magnificent as #Torsoshorts.

Okay, that’s everything. Please enjoy Radio Free Burrito Episode 35 – Ring of Fire.

51 thoughts on “a brief history of Radio Free Burrito”

  4. I didn’t know about the Memories of the Futurecast! I’m traveling by bus for almost 4 hours tonight, and now I have something to load on my iPod that isn’t Chris Hardwick-based. And I’m very glad that Radio Free Burrito is back. We enjoy your enjoyment of making things.

  5. You say, “reasons that are lost to history” regarding those live broadcasts in 2000 — those wouldn’t be ‘cringe-inducingly self-conscious about my on-air patter’ and ‘what was I thinking with that choice in music’, would they?

    You may require a visit from Non-Judgmental Ninja to make you feel better about that, and share the air checks from those days. 😀

    Remember, you were nearly 15 years younger back then. And it can’t possibly be any worse than, “I’m with Starfleet. We don’t lie,” (which were not your words, anyway, but the words of otherwise-excellent writers who just didn’t have a good handle on how to write for teenagers).

  6. I work with a pretty successful podcaster who does snow notes (and transcriptions!) for every show – they are something your listeners will really appreciate and enjoy. Looking forward to listening to the episode!

  7. I’m glad it’s finally back !! I’ve been holding off on the backlog of the original episodes just in case it never came back and finishing them would mean the end. Feels like you’re right back where you left off Wil !! Can’t wait for the next installment 🙂

  8. Wooooooo! Can’t wait to give it a listen. I still listen to the musical compilation episode with “Room full of MILFs” on a fairly regular basis. I’d love to hear another episode about recent musical favorites (and obscure media plugs).

  9. Excellent. I’m excited to get off work so I can listen to it on my drive home.
    I enjoy experiencing the things you get excited about creating. Your excitement always shines through in the finished product.

  10. First I’ve heard of free burrito, but I’ll certainly try and give it a listen. I remember being 8-9 years old and listening to the radio on my Walkman while under the duvet well past my bedtime, with a copy of Garfield for company. Happy times!

  11. Yours was the first podcast I ever listened to. I still find the phrase “goddamn motherfucking bulldozer” floating through my mind on a regular basis. I went through a phase of messaging you every six months to ask if/when RFB would be coming back.

    And I have just one question:

    What does the bell mean?

      1. And long overdue at that, sir. Missed that darn bell. Now if a chapbook would find its time… There are a lot of new fans that have not had the joy of knowing Wil the author yet.

        Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

  12. This podcast reminds me of the original burritos when you first started – a little disjointed, but hilarious. I laughed so hard at the jalapeno story that I had a slight asthma attack. My asthma is telling you to shut up, but the rest of me LOVED it. Welcome back, Wil.

  13. Great timing! The online radio station I’ve been listening to since I started to work from home is pulling the plug tomorrow night. So I’ve been looking for podcasts to fill the void.
    Always liked #RFB so will be putting it at the top of the list!

  15. Can’t wait to listen to this later! Glad you’re back. Also, I love your idea for the audio version of Maplecroft. I’d love to volunteer to read on of the small parts but I’ll buy and listen that audio version no matter what!

  16. When I saw iTunes downloading Radio Free Burrito, I thought it was doing that thing where it randomly re-downloads stuff I’ve already listened to.

    Imagine my shock and delight when I realized it was a NEW episode!

  17. You seem so comfortable sharing such private things about yourself. I have been feeling some anxiety and depression lately myself and i always feel so guilty about it, because others tell me i am just focusing on the negative. But it is hard to describe that feeling of apprehension that i feel inside. I’m hopeful and positive for the new year and changes though. I’ve really come to enjoy reading your blog and what you and others share. It helps me find optimism and motivation within myself to know others feel this way sometimes too, but still overcome it. I like your podcast and nerdist. I look forward to listening to them. You seem like a nice person and i enjoy your viewpoints and content. Thank you so much for sharing with everyone, including myself. I look forward to listening to the podcast and commenting. Still haven’t introduced myself on your other post though. It is amazing you read all of those comments; there are so many of them. that is good for you though…

  18. Podcasts have kept me sane during a difficult year. So of course, I will now download and listen to your podcast. Thank you for this pre-Christmas 2015 present! My New Year’s resolution is “play more games”. I think this is the year I will finally succeed at mastering my New Year’s resolution.

  19. I’m so glad to have Radio Free Burrito back! I knew keeping it in my subscriptions would pay off eventually. Thanks so much for the work you put into it.

    You inspire me, and hearing your train of thought on a weekly basis while you work through things helps me realize that everyone is human. Everyone is trying to figure it out as they go along. Even someone who is an inspiration to me.

  20. HUZZAH!!! I’ve been listening to Nerd Poker, Nerdist, Serial and some SMODcasts but miss RFB terribly. Glad you’re back for now. I will cherish your dulcet tones as much as I can. That’s not creepy at all, right? #nohomo #maybe

  21. It is definitely different. I will keep watching to see what new things you come up with.

    You are lucky Mr. Wheaton; regarding your depression. You see there is no cure or pill i can take to fix my disorder. They have tried my whole life but with adverse affects. I wish with all my heart I could just take a pill and make it all better. But, therapy is the only way, and i go each week like clock work. I never miss. Have you ever seen the movie Sybil; well she had it easy compared to what i endured at a very young age. Then i had another life alternating event ten years ago. That pretty much broke what was left inside me. I re-read your post over and over thinking ..how i wish i could just take a pill. So when i woke up three years ago; i began writing out of the blue. That is my therapy. Sorry for the downer part .. it is an interesting vid. lol lol

    1. Leslie: Please continue to write and find a receptive place to share what you can. Even if it’s just blogger. Life is rarely fair, but remaining silent is the worst cruelty you can endure. Assuming you live in a ‘democracy’, it’s not a cruelty you should have to endure into adulthood.

      Pills correct chemical imbalances, but if you’ve trauma it can be difficult to recover. PTSD is serious business, and soldiers aren’t the only ones affected. If, as you’ve said, you attend therapy regularly, try to broach your traumatic events and request strategies for overcoming your fears.

      Wishing you the best ~~

  23. This is so exciting! RFB was the first podcast I listened to; back in the summer of 2011 I went through the entire backlog of episodes while working in the basement of a library, shifting books. After that week, I took your suggestion in one of those episodes and looked up Nerdist. Now I have 3-4 podcasts that I regularly listen to, and I’m happy that I can put RFB back in rotation without listening to episodes that I nearly have memorized!

  24. Mr. Wil-

    Re: The Booth at the End. Glad you found it. My only disappointment about the series is that there isn’t more (yet). Perhaps as the VoD market matures more shows like it can justify their own costs. In the meantime, I’d like to second your recommendation… That’s right, blog-readers! You need to set aside an afternoon and watch it!

    Re: Self-deprecation. It’s funny stuff, but perhaps on an unjustified serious note…. Back in time, during one of my college days, I found myself listening to the bravado of one of my classmates. He was a theatre-major and quite full of himself, and yet I found myself awe-filled. Not of his talent– I’d never seen him perform– but of his immense confidence.

    Being a borderline Athropophobe and having no interest in acting, I still found myself curious enough to ask: “How on earth do you muster up the courage to perform on stage?”

    His response: “Just get over yourself.”

    This struck me as a profound lie and I was instantaneously resentful that he’d suggested it to me. It sounded equally a boast, an insult and a falsehood. On the brink of completely shirking the advice my professor, overhearing the conversation, said “that’s right.” In that moment I was very confused. Enough so that I’ve retained it since then.

    In the intervening years I’ve occasionally puzzled over this conversation. Is it a “fake-it-until-you-make-it” thing? Is the confidence to perform purely illusory with a practical benefit? Or is social anxiety a form of irrepressible narcissism? Just how on earth does ‘getting over yourself’ make you a good performer?

    Somewhat recently, with the deaths of Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin WIlliams and the wave of successful comedians ‘coming out’ as depressed, I’ve found myself revisiting that brief conversation. Did these extremely talented and (by any measure) successful people simply ‘get over themselves’ … until they couldn’t?

    As I listened to your podcast today, Wil, I heard your voice tremble. More than once. It astonished me. My voice trembles as well during phone calls to strangers or while describing some complicated idea I’d prefer to write-down to a co-worker or even a distant friend. Sometimes my lips twitch, and when that happens I just want to stfu and run away from the world.

    And yet you– an accomplished actor with (from all accounts) a fulfilling family life and long career– you get nervous for a podcast with no immediate audience. This endears me to you in a way my memories of Startrek never could.

    You’ve been famous for more than half your life, Wil. You’ve developed strong friendships with people that have every reason to consider themselves ‘above’ the worth of the median human being. But somehow you’ve managed to ground yourself and become relate-able. I don’t know if that’s Anne’s fault, or the fault of your step children, or perhaps your parents’ fault… but it gives me some hope for humanity, and makes me believe your sincerity when you say “don’t be a dick.”

    I’m sure you’ll get over your podcast nervousness soon, but as of now I want you to know I appreciate it.

    –Recently Xanaxed

  25. Yaaaaaay Wil made a Burrito! does Kermit arms

    I am ridiculously happy to see this, and to read that you did it while fighting off Yet Another Fucking Round of Depression; mine has cleared off enough for me to realize that it’s been a scary long time since I made anything.

    To help move past the inertia of “It’s going to suck, no one will care, why waste your time”, I’ve got this Tumblr post of Ursula Vernon’s in a pin tab on my laptop: if you haven’t read it yet, I commend it to you with the hope that it helps in the Bad Times.

  26. Wow, was it really as long ago as 2005? Holy cowzers! I remember being so happy when you started podcasting because I looooooooooved your AudBlog and was sad when it stopped. And now I am so happy that you’re starting back up again, not just because I love RFB but because I’m happy to see you’re letting yourself do something creative just because you want to do it.

  29. Thanks for another episode, and making a ‘thing’. Your recent thoughts on creating things is inspiring me to try a challenge for myself in 2015… Create something every single day of the year. I’ve tried daily blogging before, or photo-a-day type groups, but they’ve all fizzled. This year I’m going to give myself freedom to not be limited by topic or medium. So maybe my creation will be a photo, or a blog post, or an audio diary, or maybe even a quick YouTube or Vine. If I feel like talking about beer, or running, or comics, or tabletop games, or gadgets… it’s all OK. The point will be to simply create.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  30. Wow! That album by Suburban Lawns is actually pretty good! I picked up the LP in the “Miscellaneous New Wave” bin at my local record store, sometime in the mid-’80s.

    I don’t know why I should be surprised that someone else has that album…

    I dubbed it to cassette; I should go dig it out. 🙂

    If you liked them, you might like this album from The Spizzles (also from the “Misc. New Wave” bin!):
    http://www.discogs.com/Spizzles-Spikey-Dream-Flowers/master/345578

    Track two is “Five Year Mission” — about ST: Orig. Series. 😉

    –GG

  32. YAY RFB!
    Wil, I listened to the podcast while cleaning out a closet. It was like having you in the kitchen washing dishes with me, just chatting.
    It was awesome.

  33. One of the very few accomplishments in my life was being the first to donate to RFB. I got an email from Wil asking if he could use my name. Of course I said yes. So remember, kids, The Netherlands were the first to chip in 😛

  34. oh golly. don’t know why I hadn’t gotten to this in all the years I’ve been following you, but Radio Free Burrito is a delight, and I’m so happy to listen to it!

  35. Several of my friends are into podcasts, and I never really got into them until one of them showed me ‘Night Vale’. I just now listened to both your experimental episode and your new one, and can tell you that I will continue to listen in the future. Thank you for inspiring us to make things.

  37. Hi Wil. I know you love your tabletop games and host a youtube show about them. I am holding a 24 hour gameathon in aid of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (which I’m a sufferer of) in 2015 or 2016. Me and a team of family and friends will be playing tabletop and video games for 24 hours. I am wondering whether you would be able to get involved i some way? It would be fantastic if you did.
    Connor Lancaster age 15,
    I’m from England and the event will be in England
    When you see this could you email me back, thank you so much

  38. Thanks for making this. The tunes, I say the TUNES were an unexpected and pleasant surprise. I hope to hear more of that in the future.

  39. Interesting that it took you that long to get comfortable with your voice. I think you have a great voice and have always enjoyed listening to both RFB and Memories of the Futurecast, especially when you read a passage from one of your books. I can’t be the only person who thinks you have a genuine talent for performing the written word, or you wouldn’t keep getting jobs reading audiobooks.

    I recently became a part of a podcasting network created by a good friend. I’m more of a tech guy than talent, but I’ve been on twice so far as a fill-in, and I can’t stand my voice. Hopefully I’ll get over that sooner rather than later. Any tips?

  40. Interesting blog note above about using Audacity. If you’re a Garage Band person, you should take a look at Reaper, it’s an interesting multitrack program. re: RFB, sharing is always its own reward. Loved the podcast, it inspired me to fill my dishwasher and think about things.

  44. YEY!! I have always loved Radio Free Burrito, and I am so glad you’ve decided to do them again. And boy, do I know how hard it is to do ANYTHING whwn you are fighting depression and anxiety. You are fantastic, Wil – thank you for sharing your life with the world.

  45. Yay for the return of Radio Free Burrito! You made my commute so much better this morning!

    Also, yes, Julian did once have mines. I went to a summer camp there, and one of the activities was to go explore the old mines and crawl around inside them. Because taking children into really dangerous, cold, wet, abandoned mines was apparently totally a thing in the ’70s!

  46. Depresssion sucks, you rock. That goes for everybody out there. I know words don’t help much, but try to remember depression is just some troll who is jealous of your life and just wants to keep you from realizing how great you really are.

  47. Why have a become addicted to these podcasts? Because some of what he talks about has meaning to me own life, interests and issues, that is why! Love it.

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