My son and I take KITT for a spin

“Have fun with your friends!” I kissed Anne goodbye.

“Have fun watching hockey!” Anne kissed me goodbye.

“See you when you get home,” I said. I watched her walk down the driveway, and headed back into the house. Marlowe and Seamus ran up to me as I got close to the kitchen.

“It’s just us tonight, dogs,” I said. What they heard was, “Chopper, how about a bunch of treats?”

Marlowe jumped over Seamus’ back as she ran — galloped, really — to the pantry where the dog treats live. Seamus looked at me, waiting to see if there was any reason to go to the pantry.

“Okay,” I said. His ears perked up and his tail began to wag. “Yes, you can have a treat,” I said. His tail sprang to life. Marlowe scrambled, Flintstones-style, on the floor in front of the pantry door, as she ran in tight, excited circles.

I pulled out the treats, had them sit, and gave them each little training rewards. I hope that someday I will be as excited about anything as my dogs are about a treat that’s not even the diameter of a dime.

I headed to the couch and turned on the hockey game. Montreal was trying to force a seventh game against Tampa Bay, and they trailed by two goals in the second period. My phone buzzed:

Nolan: Mom said you're home alone watching hockey.
Me: It's true.
Nolan: Want to hang out?
Me: Sure. Come over whenever. The first game is on now.
Nolan: When does the second game start?

I looked up the schedule, realized that I was wrong about there being two games, and replied.

Me: Tomorrow.
Nolan: What? Wait. I'm confused.
Me: Hi, confused. I'm Wil.
Nolan: ...
Me: There's no second game today. Come over whenever you want.
Nolan: Okay. See you soon.

I watched most of the rest of the hockey game. It wasn’t ever very close, and Tampa Bay won, eliminating the Habs (and the last Canadian team) from the playoffs. I felt bad for Canada, but as a life long Kings fan I’ll never get over 1993 (or Macho Grande), and there are so many players on this Canadiens team who I think are jerks, I was glad to see them go.

Nolan came into the house shortly after the game ended. The dogs ran laps around the house to welcome him.

We decided that we’d watch a movie or something together. As we searched through Netflix and the DVR, I said, “You know, I have the complete series of the original Knight Rider, from the 80s.”

“Knight Rider?” He said.

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s about –”

“A guy with a talking car.” He said. Not a question, but a continuation of my thought.

“That’s … uh …” I began.

But it’s more than that, I thought. It’s about … um … fighting crime! And that lady in the jumpsuit with the boots! And the old British guy, whatshisname! And KITT is, like, um … a talking car.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what it’s about,” I said, “but it’s awesome!”

“Awesome like when you showed me text games, or awesome like something that is actually awesome?”

“Someday, you’ll thank me for showing you,” I reminded him. “because of me, you’ll never be eaten by a Grue.”

Before he could remind me that it was unlikely that would have happened anyway, I continued. “This show is genuinely awesome. It has The Hoff, the talking car, and is so unapologetically 1980s, you’re going to love it — and I don’t mean ironically. I mean you’re going to legit love it.”

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s give it a try.”

I searched through all the episodes I had, and decided that I wanted to show him something from the first season. Sure, I could have jumped in right away with KARR and Michael Knights Evil Twin™, but I was afraid it would confuse him, not knowing the rich backstory of a man who does not exist. I settled on a first season episode called Sammy’s Super Stunt Spectacular, where Michael and KITT must save a car stunt show from an evil developer, after the show’s owner, Sammy, is wounded in an accident which was engineered by the evil developer’s minions. It featured all manner of profoundly lame car stunts that were actually charming in their execution, and a stunt driver with a Hasselhoff wig that really should get its own spinoff series, where the wig is voiced not by the St. Elsewhere guy, but Mister Belvedere*.

Over 49 minutes, we were treated to some truly entertaining early 80s prime time action television. By the time it was over, Nolan was officially on board.

“So I think we need to watch this entire series,” he said.

“I knew I raised you right,” I said. “How’s your weekend looking?”

“Let’s not get carried away,” he said. “Knight Rider is something to be savored.”

“That’s … uh … ” I began.

We looked at each other, as the credits rolled and the theme music played.

“That’s pretty much exactly what it is.”

*In the pilot episode, the wig, called WIGG (which stands for Walking Investigation Guy’s Gear) helps the star of the show, Ted Jacobs, played by a young Parker Stevenson, works for Devon after Michael Knight drives off into mystery. Ted Jacobs, a former astronaut in training who faked his own death, helps solve the mystery of the missing computer tapes and saves a daycare center from an evil developer. Nell Carter and Justin Bateman co-star.

 

 

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46 thoughts on “My son and I take KITT for a spin”

  3. There are of course two episodes with KARR, and in one of them, KARR is voiced by the great Paul Frees, who did approximately a million other amazing voices, most conspicuously including Boris Badenov from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.

    Did I just know that? Or did I have to look it up? I’ll never tell.

    1. The original KARR voice was Peter Cullen (yeah, THAT Peter Cullen). He reprised the ‘role’ in the KR reboot, which… sadly… sucked. Paul Frees did KARR for his second appearance in the original KR series (wonder why they didn’t get Cullen to do it? I’m sure that’d be an interesting bit of Larson trivia).

  5. That was My favorite show growing up. David Hasselhoff was cute and that car was something I wish I had. How is that? It drives itself. DARPA is trying to perfect a vehicle like K.I.T.T. sans sophisticated A.I. *sighs * too expensive to buy if we had them.
    McGyver was total fun. Yeah
    Probably can’t DO most of the stuff he did. But who cares. Its find.: -) What about Fall Guy?

  9. My 80s self (and my current self) would watch the hell out of WIGG. But then my 80s self would watch the hell out of anything Parker Stevenson was in.

  10. Macho Grande – NEVER FORGET

    “And he went to pieces?
    No! Andy was all right, Buddy went to pieces.”

  11. I love Knight Rider(the real one not the piece of shit remakes). There was nothing better than that brief moment in time when there was Knight Rider and A-Team and Airwolf in their evening slots and Thundercats, G.I. Joe, He-Man, and Transformers on in the afternoon and Cartoon Express on with Thundaar and Herculoids!

  13. My husband introduced our 6 yr old son to MacGyver for the exact same reasons. I was laughing at the oh so 80’s tricks (no CGI, yay!), dialogue, clothing, and hair. They were totally captivated. I realized you must suspend all reasonable expectations of real world action/consequences to enjoy it. Once you do that, it is just good fun. It still makes me shake my head when he runs through a nuclear plant unprotected with nary a radiation burn, while the baddies are shooting guns around all of those pipes, tanks, and everything. Or stopping an acid tank meltdown with a chocolate bar. Or walking out of the desert with a huge missile on his shoulder. But it is just so awesome, like your childhood giving you a comforting hug. The girl in distress always lives, give the McG a kiss, and MacGyver always gets the bad guy with style and a chocolate bar. Classic.

  15. my better half and i watched that game. our favorite bit was the part where that idjit pierre mcgquire described nikita kucherov as having “really soft hands” and then saying to joe micheletti “just like you in st louis!” and joe saying “…………………………………………..right.” i can just imagine joe and the other guy hitting their cough buttons and turning to each other saying “what………….the………………fuck…………..”

  16. Holy crap I so want to watch Knight Rider now…it’s been at least 20 years and I think it’s time.

  17. Dang… looks like I may need to watch a bit of Knight Rider now… Also, did you ever show either of your kids Dirty Harry? I saw about the last half of it recently and it’s as crazy as I expected it to be. 😉

  19. Did you know there was a Knight Rider board game? It’s almost as cheesy as the TV series, but I loved it back in the 80’s. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

  20. My son, who is 11, fucking LOVES Knight Rider. He’s been obsessed with the show ever since we dumped cable for a Roku box a few years ago and discovered it.

    Now it’s Knight Rider all day, all night, all the freaking time.

    Oh well..at least it’s more tolerable than SpongeBob and the other crap he COULD be watching.

  21. part of the opening narration is: one man can make a difference. but it’s one man backed up by a billionaire’s foundation & a tricked-out car with artificial intelligence.

    1. “Hyperthrust In three… two… one!!” I always got a kick out of Norman, he was a definite “geek of the 80’s”.

      Rex Smith was also a teen idol, singer, and stage actor. He played opposite Kevin Kline in “the Pirates of Penzance” which… is actually a REALLY good role. Extra geek points, what Marvel superhero did he play, and opposite which 80’s actor(s)?

      And as long as we are on the subject… “Automan” (with Desi Arnaz Jr. and Chuck Wagner) is almost as delightfully cheesy as Knight Rider.

      2. I’d say that Automan was considerably cheesier than KR. The technological aspects were completely ludicrous.

        For a real hacker, we have Richie Adler from “Whiz Kids”. The technical aspects suspended incredulity but it was much less absurd 🙂

        And, of course, I loved the young Andrea Elson as Richie’s potential romantic interest.

  26. I sincerely hope that my son (who is 2.5) and I will be able to binge watch something important to me in the future. If I’m lucky it will be Doctor Who or Star Trek.

    1. You have the right idea James. We did DS9 from birth and again at 4, TNG at 3 (gotta learn some ethics from Picard), and the originals throughout. Doc Who is a bit scarier, so we started that at 6. My son is a total fan of Doctor Who now. He will binge watch during breaks. Keep them on the right path I say.

  28. No reference to the fact that “the lady in the jumpsuit” was in the TNG episode “Angel One”?
    Probably sad that I remember that, but I found Patricia McPherson really attractive at the time.

    1. I was hopelessly in love with Patricia McPherson. And I despised April with a vengeance. Sure, she was a gorgeous redhead with a fantastic cleavage, but Bonnie was clearly superior in technical prowess and a credibly written nerd girl.

  29. Don’t forget Dukes of Hazzard. And for all the conspiracy theorists worried about those war games, try the Blue Thunder movie.

  31. I have subjected my children to a similar torture by making them watch all the classic 1980 movies like Labyrinth, Time Bandits, and Krull… because everyone should be exposed to Liam Neeson before he was cool.

  32. Useless fact: the theme song for KNIGHT RIDER appears to be based on a movement of a Leo Delibes ballet.

  33. So, based on the recommendation above, I decided to dip back in to Knight Rider for the first time since they stopped showing the first run in the UK in the mid-to-late eighties, when as a child of seven it was competing with “The Dukes of Hazzard” to be the coolest thing ever.

    I have to say, I was expecting to find the show terrible so many years later, but it wasn’t; it was the same slightly goofy but mildly exciting show ABOUT A TALKING FREAKING CAR it always was, and about that I am grateful.

    So, thanks Wil 🙂

  35. At fourteen, I was a “Knight Rider” fan-fiction-writing MACHINE. Those were the days.

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