Tiki Tilt

Anne likes Mai Tais, and I like making things — especially things that my wife likes — so I’ve been learning how to make tropical drinks from the golden age of the American Tiki restaurant. My guide to all of this has been Jeff “Beachbum” Berry, specifically his books Beachbum Berry Reloaded and Potions of the Caribbean.

Both books have dozens of tiki drink recipes in them, which is why they are practical and useful, but the thing I love about these books is their history of the American tiki craze of the 20th century. These books are filled with pictures of long-forgotten theme restaurants from all across the country, and photographs of the drinks, the menus, the bars, and recollections from the people who made them.

So last night, I made Anne a Mai Tai, I made a Samoan Fog Cutter for Ryan’s girlfriend, Claudette (which we renamed The Tahitian Fart, because I didn’t have any sherry for the float, so I used 151 that I set on fire instead), some kind of Grog for Ryan,  and a Planter’s Punch for myself.

It was fun and festive, and our drinks went well with the Les Baxter music I was playing on the Sonos, and the teriyaki-marinated chicken sandwiches we grilled for dinner. We watched a great movie, enjoyed each other’s company, and then when Ryan and Claudette left, it was time for bed.

Right. Well. It turns out that the sugar in the tropical drink plus the caffeine in the black tea in the drink had a stacking effect that gave me -10 to saves vs. Stay Awake, so I ended up just getting out of bed and shuffling into my office, where I fired up my new obsession, Pinball Arcade.

I desperately want to get a pinball machine for my game room, but there just isn’t room, so Pinball Arcade is a really good substitute for me. I’ve been playing it so much, I’m starting to get some pretty high scores (for me) on some of the machines I play frequently … and last night, this happened:

Attack from Mars

I got the highest score on this Attack From Mars table.Elvira Party Monsters

Then I got all the high scores on Elvira and the Party Monsters.Medieval Madness

And then I got all the high scores on Medieval Madness.

I tried to run the table on Cyclone, but by this time my lungs were aching for air, and I was finally able to engage in some much-needed rock climbing.

Seven hours of sleep later, during which I had a dream that — I shit you not — featured me designing and then playing a pinball machine based on Pink Floyd’s The Wall, before I went to see The Wall with my son, Nolan, I woke up, feeling irrationally proud of what I’d accomplished.

Paraphrasing a certain smuggler: “Good against simulations is one thing, but good against the real thing?”

I guess I’ll have to head on down to a real arcade once I get the time, and see if I can count my experiences at the virtual tables as training, or if it’s just something I’m doing when I should probably be pretending to be productive.

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56 thoughts on “Tiki Tilt”

  2. There is always room for toys in an office. Who would not want to build their own digital pinball machine that you can even tilt.

  3. You just missed it, but if you’re into tiki, you should check out Tiki Oasis next August. It’s like a drunken summer camp for adults, with really interesting classes and seminars. This year, one of my friends did a presentation on Tranya, the beverage from TOS.

  5. A restaurant here in the Twin Cities has the original Adam’s Family table, which I played SOOO much of my junior year of college. I always tell myself I’ll remember to bring quarters the next time I go, and I never do. Some day I’m going to need to make a trip with the sole purpose of playing that game.

    Well, that and drinking their beer. They’re associated with a brewery and make some darn tasty stuff.

    1. I remember one time I would always pass by an Atari Missile Command game. I told myself I will go and play as it was a serious part of my childhood. One day I went by and it was gone. Just another old game that eventually broke down and was removed. So, you should just go and play that AF pinball game tomorrow!

  6. I love pinball and Pinball Arcade is the next best thing to a real machine. It is a good “trainer”, but not completely. I’ve owned the arcade Cyclone machine for about 15 years and while the Pinball Arcade version is very good, there are several parts that are easier than the real machine. Pinball Arcade is awesome though and does teach you the rules better than an actual machine. Keep playing!

  7. There’s a great game for the Wii. It’s the Williams Pinball Classics disc, and it is AWESOME. It has quite a variety of titles including “Black Knight”, “Funhouse”, “Whirlwind”, “Firepower”, “Pinbot”, and many others. They play (and actually feel, believe it or not) like the real things, or at least as much as you can in the Wii translation.

    Hours of fun. Check it out.

      1. Regular Wii, it’s by the same people as Pinball Arcade, although it came out a lot earlier, meaning they hadn’t quite mastered the physics as well as they have now.

  9. My favorite Tiki drink is probably the Nui Nui, I have never really looked up what is actually in it, but it’s such a wonderful complex drink blending spice and citrus and rum flavors

  11. My favourite Tiki cocktail (from one of Beachbum Berry’s books) is the Suffering Bastard (ginger beer, gin, brandy, lime cordial, and mint). I had a Tiki themed birthday a few years ago, and it was a hit there too. If you like Beachbum Berry’s recipes, you should check out his app. It lets you search by ingredient, and gives suggestions based on the ingredients you have on hand. I’ve discovered many recipes with it!

  12. Club 82 is apparently a place that has both alcohol and pinball and thus seems popular with people who enjoy both of those things. 🙂

  14. The next time you are in Las Vegas you need to visit the pinball hall of fame just off the strip on tropicana. My sons and I were just there and I loved it. They have machines there with actual reels instead of digital readouts all the way up to more modern machines. In one aisle you can play on an old 70s kiss machine and the next aisle over is an iron man 2 machine. It is the best afternoon for a family.

  15. Next time you come to Minnesota, you should head to Psycho Suzies Motor Lounge in NE Minneapolis. I think it would be perfect for you and Anne. It’s on the Mississippi river, just north east of downtown. They have a lot of tiki drinks and great food. Its also a dog friendly patio, which happens to be massive. They have water stations just for peoples dogs. I am no way affiliated with Psycho Suzies, I just really enjoy going there when I can.

  17. Try “The Ancient Mariner”. Or a “Shark’s Tooth”. Or…. ah. I love Tiki drinks. Here in Germany the Tiki wave never really landed, what a pity.

  19. There was a Trader Vic’s in Honolulu at the International Marketplace, but both disappeared years ago. I would not have known what it was, save for a certain song by Warren Zevon. The closest one to you would be in Beverly Hills, then Emeryville, Portland, and finally Atlanta.

  20. Something I just realised, did you choose the particular short form of your name so it would fit into high score tables?
    (If this is a FAQ you already answered multiple times I apologise.)

    When I was a kid I loved pinball machines but I was rubbish at them. In Germany, there would quite often be one at restaurants either in the back of the foyer or in the corridor leading to the toilets, similarly with other arcade machines. Also in the foyer of supermarkets. There was no actual US style arcade in my tiny hometown.

  21. Oh, the memories of summers in St. Pete, FL, which always included the excursion to Tiki Gardens. Peacocks roaming free, (sadly, not the same for the macaws and other parrots), garden path to walk, and the fabulous little shops featuring things like clothing, candy, furniture, and one was even just fabric; brocades like kimonos were made of, tropical prints. Hard to not make a run-on sentence out of the memory. Trader Frank’s restaurant too. There, and The Kapok Tree Inn where we first heard of ‘Planter’s Punch’. Tiki Gardens is gone, and Kapok is an altogether different experience I read. Thanks for the stroll…

  23. Wil next time you and Anne are in San Francisco you should go to the Fairmont Hotel and go to the Tonga Room or you could go to Trader Vics in Emeryville, home of the original Mai Tai.

  24. Maybe you should check out a pinball museum. I hear they offer unlimited play for a very reasonable price.

  26. The Mai Kai in Fort Lauderdale is one of the longest lasting and impressive Polynesian palaces extant. http://maikai.com/ I highly recommend checking it out. Also, the Beachbum’s Latitude 29 in New Orleans is amazing.

  27. So, speaking of dreams, I had a dream last night where you decided to create a virtual reality MMO…. except this MMO was full of board games and dogs to play with, and because it was VR, the dogs were all programmed to never ever bite or be aggressive or be scared of hugs. It was the best MMO. That’s what I get for watching Tabletop before bed. Don’t even want to know what weird dreams I’ll get if I listen to Ready Player One before bed….

  29. Dear Internet,

    Please, please please, oh please, make “The Wall: The Pinball Game” a thing. With voices by Roger Waters and Wil Wheaton. (And snarky media commentary by Dave Gilmour.)

    If I’m asking too much, please give me an undivided Powerball jackpot and I’ll handle the rest.

    -Joe

  30. Years ago, I was fortunate to rescue a gem of a book from my parent’s hoard of a garage – “Trader Vic’s Kitchen Kibitzer: The Cookbook for Men…and for the Women Who Cook for Men.” It’s quite a fun mix of drinks and food to make with the drinks.

    Pretty sure you are aware, but if you are not, then make the trek to Huntington Beach, where you can check out Don The Beachcomber’s and get yourself into some serious trouble (you have to love a bar that limits the amount of Zombies you are allowed to consume).

  32. Hey Wil, on a side note related to pinball — I have always wondered why you are not featured on the translite to Star Trek The Next Generation pinball machine from back in the day. It always makes me sad 🙁 one day I’m gonna make a little Wesley Crusher cut out and gum it on there

    1. The “story” of the table takes place at the beginning of season 7 (the strange Borg ship is the giveaway). Thus, Wil wasn’t on the show at that time and so he’s not on the table.

      1. It would be absolutely hilarious and deliciously obnoxious for Wil (or supporters) to commission Ben Heck to “Wesley-fy” the eff out of an existing TNG pinball machine.

        Inject Wesley into every scene, on every bumper and bell. Replace all sound effects with Wesleyisms. Go way, way, WAY over the top.

  38. I also love pinball. And due to lack of space (actually money) i use pinball arcade as my pinball vice. Entertaining as it is, it does not help with the real thing. At least it gets you familiar with thee real thing.

  40. For LA pinball, it’s hard to beat 82.

    The PAPA pinball tutorials are filmed at a 500-game warehouse near Pittsburgh. They have all of the machines you’ve posted photos of. On free play. You should stop by if you find yourself in Pittsburgh…

  41. Hey Wil, if you come to Orlando Florida on November 20-22, their will be a show called freeplayflorida.com going on. They have Pinball Machines and old Arcade games their, plus some Pinball and Arcade Machine Celebrities, so check out the website I put on hear it’s Awesome.

  42. I think probably everyone I have any respect for at all longs for a pinball machine in their house –
    there’s a gap in the market for homebuilders there I’m sure, white goods inlcuded – who cares? fitted carpets – so what?

    On the wrong side of town, bedroom with no windows, no kitchen but it does come with a dedicated room for this mint condition star wars pinball machine, SOLD

  43. Next time you are in Ottawa check out the House of TARG. It is a Pinball/Arcade Bar. They have about 19 tables at any given time and they cycle in different ones now and then. They also have pretty good Perogies and live music now and then. I’ve heard people complain that it’s loud but I think that’s only when they are having live music… or maybe people don’t like that the Doctor Who machine keeps screaming EXTERMINATE! shrug http://www.houseoftarg.com/

  45. I’m so glad you found Pinball Arcade. It’s been a favorite of mine for the last year or so. Since I’ve been visiting the arcade here in Austin, I’ve found that the app is very close to the original games, but as many people will agree, it’s not the same.

    Being able to nudge, bump, and articulate the ball the way you want is something that just can’t be simulated with an app.

    The nice thing is that they have been able to capture the details in the original games that made them unique. If you didn’t know, Tina Fey did several of the voices on the Medieval Madness pinball game while she was still a member of the Second City in Chicago in 1997 (before she was a writer/actor on SNL!).

    A great website to learn more about pinball games is the internet pinball database (www.ipdb.org).

    Any pinball game developed by Pat Lawlor is a classic! One of my favorites is Twilight Zone! Here’s a youtube link on how to master it by Bowen Kerins at PAPA pinball (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYy0aNj9GLU).

    BTW, long time reader and beer aficionado.

    Craig

  47. Please, please go to the Vegas area, Call the Pinball Hall of Fame and make sure the Attack from Mars game is available, Its hilarious, it has little wiggly aliens that jiggle when they attack. It caused me to laugh so hard I lost my bonus ball.

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