I’ve been enjoying being home so much, I haven’t made the time to sit down and write. Even though I want to write all the time and make lots of stories and stuff happen, I also sort of needed a vacation to just … exist, for a little while.
So I have produced many words (mostly on my stupid Tumblr thing), but I haven’t put them together into stories. It’s turning out to be even more difficult than I expected to switch gears from the long hours and specific demands that go with being an actor to the different hours and self-discipline that go with being a writer.
But I’ve been doing some stupid creative stuff on Instagram and Twitter, I guess, which is sort of goofing off and like eating junk food instead of preparing a healthy meal.
Still, I’m going to give it a try.
I was moving things from my office out into my game room, and one of the things I was moving was my original AD&D Monster Manual.
I don’t play that edition anymore, but I will never get rid of my books because they mean so much to me. Indeed, just holding one of them can take me through time to uncountable days in my childhood that I spent sitting on the floor of my bedroom, designing dungeons, creating characters, and having adventures with them.
I was such a weird kid. I was shy, I wasn’t confident, I wasn’t coordinated, and I was more comfortable inside my own head than I was anywhere else. I didn’t know it then, but I know now that I wasn’t the only Gen X-er who grew up feeling this way, who found comfort and companionship between the covers of books.
So on my way out to the game room, I stopped for a minute and just looked at my Monster Manual. I flipped it open, and looked at a few of the creatures it offered me: the Bugbear, the Carrion Crawler, and, of course, the Owlbear.
I felt a lot of feelings, all at once, in an explosion of … I guess it was … a sort of ennui? Yeah, let’s go with that. There was some sadness, some longing, some joy, all of it in the faded Kodachrome of 80s childhood nostalgia. I want to play AD&D in theory, but I’m just not entirely sure that it will be as much fun to play now as I remember it being when I was in elementary school. This is one of those things where it’s probably best not to collapse the waveform, I think.
I haven’t done much gaming since about August, and it wasn’t until I was looking at my Monster Manual that I even missed it. After three straight seasons of Tabletop, and a super upsetting experience this last season, I was super burned out on games and gaming. I felt like I’d taken something I loved and turned into a job — which isn’t the worst thing in the world, but I’d totally wrecked the work/life balance — and I haven’t been Feeling It, as they say … but when I held my Monster Manual, felt its weight and the texture of its covers, looked at those creatures inside — even the incredibly stupid Piercer — I remembered why I love games and gaming.
I still need my vacation from gaming for work, but I now feel like I could spend at least some of it gaming for fun.
Nothing wrong with taking a break. It prevents burn out and absolutely hating what you do and that would be sad. Make that space, have fun and chill. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season.
Not my best work, but it’s something where there wasn’t something before.
“Not my best work, but it’s something where there wasn’t something before.”
Anytime you can say that….it is good work.
I get memories like that when I look at my TMNT RPG books.
AD&D won’t be as fun as you remember. The books were a mess. We tried a revival a few years ago and we had to institute so many house rules, it wasn’t AD&D anymore. Pick a better system but try to recapture that old magic. It’s worth it.
Hey Wil, glad you found a little balance and joy again in the games. and I hope whatever game you pick up you make a story of it, be it a epic adventure of sword or sorcery or just a silly moment in an mmo inn but it better make YOU smile.
As much time as I sank into it growing up, and as much as I love D&D to this day, AD&D was a hot mess. Lol. Remember trying to explain THAC0 to a new player? That was a bundle of joy!
It’s a fever in the blood (hemmingway on Africa). You’ll be all The Shinning sitting and trying. We write to tell our stories. You told a good one today. I know there’s more than that inside. But our tumbling and instagram distract. Junk food for the soul. We can’t help putting it out there. Ah where’s the balance? Ain’t none. We do what we need when we need it. Write on. (serry)
ennui??!!?? Had to look that one up. ha!
Funny how we really feel motivated to do things when we don’t have the time, then, when we have the time we just aren’t feeling it. Then as soon as you’re busy again, you really want to do that other thing. 🙂
I never got into D&D or any board game beyond monopoly for that matter. But, I do enjoy tabletop and really liked Titan’s Grave. I would have never known anything was amiss behind the scenes or with the rules (of tablebop) if you hadn’t told us about them. Though, I’m sure it annoyed those more in the know, heh.
Have you been / when are you going to doing some more homebrew stuff? You haven’t really posted much about that lately.
Wishing you and yours a merry Christmas and a great new year!
When I turned 14 I got a lot of 2nd Edition AD&D rule books for my birthday. I didn’t run full adventures or campaigns, but I helped my brother create a character and I would run mini-adventures where he would just fight simple, low-level monsters. I remember a fight with a Piercer. My brother didn’t kill it in a single round, so I concluded that it crawled to the wall, climbed up and tried to fall on him again. Stupid, but it was so much fun. I also still have those books and I never want to get rid of them. I also have the character sheet for that particular character.
I pulled 9 long boxes of comic books out my garden building a few days ago that haven’t been seen in 25 years, Wil.
3000+ silver and bronze age.
And I thought I’d get some rest over the next ten days ….that theory’s been eliminated….I now have insomnia with the smell of all of these classic comics lingering in the aether.
Merry Christmas !
I have the same books as you, and I get the same feelings. For me the same feeling is always from the DMG random tables.
I can understand burnout. I too have fond memories of 1st Ed, and 2nd ed too. I have a collection of dungeon and dragon magazines all the way to where they stopped printing them…
Forgive me for my stupidity… What happened that burned you out of gaming?
Wil, I seem to remember you writing about how much you loved gaming with family. Your son is out of the house iirc. The combo of the burnout, the bad experience, and decreased lack of family opportunities may be a reminder that not only are the old days are gone, there isn’t a lot a plethora of good vibes currently.
If there is someone who knows about working the game scene, it’s probably Sean. I bet he’d up for a non work, total fun game session.
I held all of my old gaming manuals… (mostly AD&D)… but then realised I was never going to use them again.
I gave a crate of games, figurines & paints to a local kid for nothing.
His father wanted to surprise him but didn’t have much money, so I gave it all away for nothing. The pleasure from knowing that it would be used and loved outweighed any monetary gain…
Just the lead figurines weighed almost 20kg….
Biggest smile of my life
…
AD&D’s not far back enough! You need Basic D&D, good old OD&D, or a game based on them; there’s tons and they’re all mutually compatible. http://www.howlingtower.com/p/old-school-renaissance-resources.html Here’s sixteen free old-school adventures from one of my favorite DMs: http://dungeonofsigns.blogspot.com/p/pdfs-to-download.html
Take your break and know that your enthusiasm for gaming has inspired me to start gaming with my 2 young daughters. I’ve always been a geek, but never been into gaming. And now our family’s work-home balance is so much better as a result. So thanks for sharing your enthusiasm with us and we will wait eagerly for it to return!
The first few years after my hobby became my work were like Elysian nectar. During an NPR spot… teared up trying to explain to the interviewer how much I loved it. But if you do something fun and are successful at it, people with demands, expectations & opinions show up. That’s probably something they taught you in “Celeb 101”, but it’s a rude awakening for an unsuspecting plebeian. In fact, part of the reason I read your books and started reading your blog again, was to try to understand how you approach work. Because entertainers deal with that stuff on an entirely different scale, and there aren’t many people in entertainment who ride rough water as well as you.
Here’s the point of this rambling:
For a couple of years I had a hard time getting excited about doing the thing I loved, because self preservation instinct was telling me to sit still and not attract attention, and it almost caused me to stop doing what I love. But eventually the problematic things got sorted to some manageable degree, and along the way, the knowledge and experience of years gave me a deeper respect and love for what the work is – warts & all.
You clearly love gaming, and I suspect that it will wind up being an even more meaningful experience for you as you continue to use it as a platform to create, motivate & educate. Because you’re an amazing communicator, and gaming is a wonderful vehicle for you.
Merry Xmas and here’s wishing you a year full of whatever you want. 😉
For your owlbear viewing pleasure
http://www.darkswordminiatures.com/shop/index.php/featured/owlbear-and-cubs.html
scroll down for some fun Tony DiTerlizzi art work
You shouldn’t beat yourself up. You’ve made a successful business out of a passion and you’ve shared it with the world. That’s remarkable and something others only dream of.
I’m sure the community fully supports you taking a breather, especially if it renews your outlook and passion for gaming.
Keep up the great work and be sure to treat yourself first.
“Ennui” means “weariness”, with a connotation of “boredom”.
Hey Wil Wheaton–
The next time you get a welcome opportunity to game for work, you should try to invite Claudia Black. Reasons: Like you, she 1) is a Sci-Fi icon, 2) got into voice acting after her TV career floundered, 3) seems really cool, 4) http://geeknation.com/podcasts/out-of-the-blue-episode-20-claudia-black/ and 5) http://www.critjuice.com/podcastfeed/2014/10/17/episode-043.
I dunno whether you’ll ever do Tabletop again but if you do and her schedule permits, I get the feeling she’d fit well as an inexperienced but talented role-player.
Also, Merry Christmas, guy! Lookin’ forward to your next Radio Free Burrito (you’re still doing those, right?)
Best wishes to you and your family 😀
First of all: Merry Christmas to you and your family! I did know the Piercer, as I’m from Germany and I started off with a German role-playing game back in the day.
Anyway, when looking at the illustration for the Piercer, I hadn’t realised that the “shadowy” player character was pierced by something that resembled a stalagtite. Instead, I though it looked like a grown-up Bart Simpson dancing with a bag over his shoulder. I realised my misktake when I read the description. But still…
I’m 31 and incredibly new to the D&D world. I definitely don’t know the differences between editions. I obviously started with 5th edition. However, I actually feel more like a child when I’m playing than I ever felt doing anything when I was a child… and I think some of the guys I’m playing with are enjoying the game all-the-more for having a newbie there… it’s like seeing Christmas through a child’s eyes possibly. Maybe you just need to teach someone who has never played to play, and see the game through his/her eyes?
Come back to Acq Inc. It would be so awesome to see ‘Al’ and the gang!
Wil, thank you for your amazing show. Because of you, my wife, me and my 6 year old daughter love ticket to ride. I and they never would have found these games on our own. Thank you for all the wonderful family time we have had and will have together playing games. Of course we have ticket to ride Europe and pocket versions on our iPhones. I really want to get King of Tokyo next, but maybe will take it slow with Takenoko as a gateway. Haha! Thank you again!