It’s the last day of April, so check me out: I’m doing my reboot check in for April before April is over. Go me!
I had this epiphany at the beginning of September: This thing that I’m doing? This series of choices I make every day? It isn’t working. I don’t like the way I feel, I don’t like the way I look, I don’t like the things I’m doing. Things need to change.
So I took a long, hard, serious look at myself, and concluded that some things needed to change.
- Drink less beer.
- Read more (and Reddit does not count as reading).
- Write more.
- Watch more movies.
- Get better sleep.
- Eat better food.
- Exercise more.
Last year, I decided to hit the reboot button on my life. I’ve checked in about once a month since then, to see how I’m doing, celebrate the victories, and identify where I can do better.
Let’s see how I’m doing after seven months.
Drink less beer – A+
So I decided to cut alcohol out of my life because I was really struggling to get the last three to five pounds of weight to fall off. It took about two months, but it totally worked! I hit my target weight goal, but instead of picking up beer again, I decided to just keep on not drinking. Now, some days I really miss having a beer or ten, or enjoying a nice drop of scotch in the evening, but I think I’ve said this before: what I get in return for giving this up massively outweighs the small sacrifice. I didn’t realize how much more time I have to do things that are not having beer or whatever until I just stopped drinking beer or whatever.
Read More (and Reddit does not count as reading) – A
This month, I’ve been doing a ton of reading, and not only have I been doing a ton of reading, I’ve been getting a ton of inspiration from the reading, which is why I wanted to read more in the first place. I’m mostly reading SF/F short stories (my Lightspeed Magazine subscription is one of the best things I’ve ever bought in my life), and I started the second book in The Expanse series. Last month, I gave myself a B on the curve because I was displeased with the lack of diversity in my reading, but considering how much stuff I have to do every day, I’m actually bending the curve in my favor and taking an A this month.
Write more. – A
I wrote two speeches since I last checked in, a bunch of intros and rules explanations for season four of Tabletop, and I did some development work on this webseries idea I’ve been kicking around for a few months. I really want to write the things that I want to write (that sounds weird but it makes sense in my head), but I’ve been kind of busy writing the things I have to write. But I’m writing, which is what matters.
Watch more movies. – A
I’ve been going through the playlist and the queue and watching, on average, three movies a week. That doesn’t seem like a lot, and it also seems like a lot. Life is weird like that. So I’ve watched some thrillers and some horror films, and Anne and I are working through the unwatched screeners we were sent during awards season. Some of the stuff I’ve watched has been great, like LOVELACE (except Franco, who was horribly miscast) and SPOTLIGHT. Some didn’t quite live up to the promise of the premise (The Child and Citadel), and some other stuff didn’t make enough of an impression on me to mention. The thing that’s been great (and the reason I wanted to do this as part of the reboot) is that I’ve gotten inspiration from everything I’ve watched. I’m getting ideas for camera work, pacing in storytelling, and other intangible things that make me want to write a script and tell a story. Even the movies that aren’t very good have something inspiring in them, and they provide a good counterweight to the ones that are spectacular. The good movies make me want to make something like them, and the bad movies make me feel like anything I do, even my dumb ideas, are worth the effort, because if this thing got made, why not my thing?
Get better sleep. – A
I was going to take this off after last time, because it feels like an easy A, but a lot of people convinced me to keep it on the list. I’m glad they did. Maybe it’s because I’m getting graded, maybe it’s because I think about it, maybe I have no idea why but I needed a third thing on this list, but I still make an effort every night to get in bed whenever I need to, so I can get between 8 and 9 hours of sleep. I’ve gotten into the habit of making good sleep a priority, and that means that if I know I have to get up at 6am for some bullshit reason, I’m going to be in bed by 10 the night before. As part of a reboot, this is successful and important, because in the pre-reboot days (preboot? nah.) I would have just stayed up late doing something I didn’t need to do, usually playing video games, and then felt like shit the entire next day. The whole reason I decided to reboot was because the way I was doing things wasn’t working for me. Not getting enough sleep was a very big part of that, and being committed to quality, restful sleep has made a huge and positive difference in my whole life. It’s something I need to remember, though, and something I need to keep working at, so it stays on the list.
Eat better food. – B
So … I’ve developed a taste for ice cream. It’s not a ton of ice cream, but it’s almost every day. It’s preferable, health and calorie and X-factor -wise to beer, but it’s extra sugar and OMG I LOVE ROCKY ROAD SO MUCH YOU GUYS.
Um. Yes. It’s a thing. On days that I run or do lots of exercise, I feel like it isn’t the biggest deal to have a scoop of ice cream, but it’s becoming a habit and I probably have to address it sooner than later.
As an aside: Nearly everyone I know has commented at some point recently that I look good. I’ve lost weight, I feel happier and generally better, and that’s all the result of this reboot really working the way that I wanted it to work. When I get complimented, I never want to be like, “Oh, yeah, I’m pretty fucking awesome,” so I say what’s mostly true: “Thanks. All I had to do was give up everything I like.” So, like, if my life is generally good, and I’m taking good care of myself, and I’m accomplishing the things that I want to accomplish, one semi-bad habit, like ice cream, isn’t the big of a problem.
Still, I could probably dial it back, and also eat fewer Red Vines (why are Red Vines so good? One answer is that they’re not fucking Twizzlers, which are goddamn disgusting).
Exercise more. – C
This is the real disappointment for me this month. A combination of work and being sick and travel and some moderate Depression flare ups have all come together to keep my running shoes in the closet. I’m doing — well, I wanted to say that I’m doing my best, but I don’t think that’s actually true. I always say that “your best” will vary from day to day, and that it’s important to be kind to yourself when your best on one day isn’t at the same level as whatever your best was on another day when you actually got the thing done … but if I’m being honest with myself, there have been several days this month when I could have said to myself, “yeah, I don’t feel like going out to run, but I’m doing it anyway” or “I’ll just walk, and maybe I’ll run once I’m out, but I am going to get off the couch and go, because it’s something I need to do.” I haven’t been committed, and partially that’s because I did my 5K and that felt like a goal, and in my mind the box was ticked. Exercise and fitness isn’t a thing with one finish line, though, and while it’s important to take days off to recover, something consistent like walking around the block or whatever every day is better (at least for me) than working out hard twice a week. So even grading on the curve, I’m giving myself a C this month. I’d give myself a D, but the travel and being sick was out of my control, so … yep. C.
Okay, let’s total this up and see how I did.
It looks like 26 points out of a possible 28 points. I got that last month, and I feel like I did better this month. This is me making the unimpressed silver medal face, even though I’m giving myself an A- instead of a B+ this time. The lack of commitment to exercise, and the excessive ice cream is really pulling my average down. That’s a bummer, but this is an ongoing process, and now I know where I need to focus on improving for next month.
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Hey Wil, what made you subscribe to Lightspeed versus another SF/F fiction magazine? Just curious about how one latches onto a magazine–I’ve been pondering subscribing to some magazines but I’ve got like 4 that I’m interested in and I’m not sure how to narrow it down. (Sorry if I missed you discussing this earlier.)
I think I read some issues that came in a Humble Bundle, and I loved the stories in them. Then I saw that it’s edited by John Joseph Adams, who has never put together an anthology that I haven’t loved, so I subscribed. I’ve looked at other SF/F magazines in the recent past, and none of them have grabbed me the same way.
Cool, thanks!
I think you’re on the wrong side of the Red Vines/Twizzlers debate, which moved me enough to comment instead of just reading and nodding in agreement as I normally do. I dislike Red Vines almost as much as Miracle Whip.
But have you tried Red Vines with Miracle Whip??? Heaven!
(I kid. To each his/her own. Like Wil, I prefer Red Vines for some odd reason. I blame my parents.)
I feel you on the 5K goal. I actually ran a 5K before I finished the zombies run 5K program (because it was at night and my 9 year old did it with me) and now I am having trouble motivating myself to finish the app . . . and what’ll I do next?!
Well… if you finish the c25k app, you get to start season 1 of the full app… Though if you can already run 5k, awesome – just jump to the full story now. I’m just about to start week 5 of c25k and want to hear it all!
This is really cool to read. I was in a bad accident in November and I basically decided to do the same thing after I recovered a little. Reboot my life. I’m not succeeding as well as you, but I decided to amp up my game because the food/beer thing is what’s dragging me down. I did, however, go from 6 diet sodas a day (or more!) to zero. And that feels good. I do recommend a personal trainer or going to classes at the gym that are scheduled (and people will notice if you’re not there) as a way of accountability. I have two days a week that I MUST be at the gym (one class and one for my trainer) and that helps.
Way to go, Wil!
I’m very protective of my sleep, too. If I don’t have enough sleep, I feel physically ill–it’s just like a hangover. I noticed I’m more apt to eat junk if I have a Lack of Sleep Hangover (LOSH?) because I feel sorry for myself. And of course there are the compounded mood issues that, as someone with Depression and Anxiety, I really could do without.
I know exactly what you mean on the “something consistent like walking around the block or whatever every day is better…than working out hard twice a week.” You just described me. I’ve had the worst record of starting & stopping workout regimens during adulthood until recently when I realized I need to do something physical (chores don’t count!) every single day, even if it’s only 10 minutes of stretching (I credit Tom Deters’s ProYou podcast for helping me learn this about myself).
Keep up the good work,and thank you for the updates. They’re very inspiring and have helped me get off my butt, too. 🙂
When I started running again, I had a hard time getting into the groove. After about a year or so of off and on, I figured out that if I only run outdoors, and without music, I had a much higher success rate. I used the time to mentally relax, and just enjoy my surroundings. Now I’m sure this would be nicer if I lived in a rural area, but it was good enough for me. Just don’t zone out too much, and trip through pot holes. I may have taken a few tumbles because of this.
However with diet, its all about the end game. I made some huge adjustments over the last 5 years or so, and it takes time. But after small adjustments stack on top of each other, your diet is completely different.
Just keep up the good work, and it will pay off.
You’re doing awesome! I really really really need to bring exercise into my daily life and I have NOT been good at that, but even with you giving yourself a lesser grade for it this month, you’re inspiring me to actually get off of my ass and do it. Maybe if I held myself publicly accountable, that would get me to commit…
Good job Wil! I’ve been following along with you since you announced the reboot. Glad to see that you’re doing so well.
I really want to do this for myself, but in the back of my mind I think that I have such a hard time sticking with anything that I would give up on this after a month or two. Then I would just feel like a failure for not having finished it.
Still. I should. I don’t like myself right now, that’s for sure.
Great job! Don’t be to hard on yourself on the exercise. It’s important, but so are other things. One tip that may help: schedule your exercise just like you would any other important part of your day. If you have a calendar to help you keep up with your busy schedule, then literally block out time. Not sure if that works for whatever schedule you keep, but it does for me. I figure my health is just as important as a meeting with a client, so I should treat it that way. Keep up the great work!
I’m a musician and find I have trouble feeling motivated to practice without goals (pressure!) too. I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s just as well to accept this and keep the deadlines stacked up to keep me moving forward.
Exercise-wise, I find walking is easier to maintain than running. There’s no start up pain I guess, and walking faster as you continue heading out regularly sort of sneaks up on you. Think I found running hard to get going on because I knew those first ten or twelve minutes were going to hurt like hell. None of that with walking. Going for a walk is addictive too; I go about 3 times a week and get squirrelly now if I miss one. Also, I brag on Facebook about my walks, usually posting pics and klicks (kilometres) after each. Guess if everyone knows you’re a thirty kilometre a week walker and you want to keep those bragging rights, you really can’t stop heading out. So, maybe, I walk because, Facebook feed. Hey, don’t knock it if it helps. 😀
I was going to say have you tried keeping track of your stats (when you’re not using some other system, s.a. the Run, Zombies thing)? Perhaps watching the miles rack up on a spreadsheet and bragging about your weekly average or your new record time on Facebook or Twitter or would make you feel like going on those “Well, I could of…” days.
1) Exercise is important. Running isn’t. maybe another activity is for you. (from someone who’s run 25 marathons)
2) The only thing that makes a 3 mile run fun is running 5 miles (or more). If you stick with running put in the time, and it WILL work.
I really want to write the things that I want to write (that sounds weird but it makes sense in my head), but I’ve been kind of busy writing the things I have to write.
It totally makes sense, and I’m right there with you.
But I’m writing, which is what matters.
Exactly \o/ Keep on keepin’ on!
Hi Wil. Do you find that cutting out alcohol helps with your anxiety? I find as I get older, the worse it gets. I wasn’t sure if it would do me any good and wanted to see if that’s a path I should be pursuing.
Well, not to mistake correlation for causation, but I have noticed a significant reduction in my generalized anxiety, and I feel like my antidepressant medication works better.
I’m not sure if it’s just the alcohol, or all the things combined, to be honest.
Alcohol counters anxiety and relaxes us in the short-term, and that is why it has the role it does in our society. But as the body metabolizes the alcohol (which is a depressant) it increases its production of the neurotransmitters that create alertness and anxiety (which were being suppressed by the alcohol). After the alcohol wears off, your left with mildly elevated levels of anxiety. The next day you might choose to address that anxiety by having more alcohol, which starts a yo-yo effect. For most people that effect is mild, but for people like me (and you?) who are already prone to the anxiety/depression cycle, the alcohol can make it worse. Eventually, I just decided to give up alcohol forever and my life has been far more productive ever since. I’m not preaching, just sharing my experience in case it’s helpful to you.
Balance is the key, in all things. Imagine maintaining balance in your life as if it were balancing on a log: If you make giant arm swings to over-correct then you just become more off-balance until you fall. Regular, subtle corrections are the key. Easier said than done, but that’s the goal!
I love TableTop and am so happy to see a famous, cool LA guy who is man enough to just love his geeky hobbies! Thanks for continuing to expose the non-gamer world to games and creating so many converts! Best wishes.
Hi Wil,
If I may make a suggestion on the exercise issue – after a few false starts over the years one thing that has worked really well for me is an exercise bike. I have it set up in front on the big TV with the DVD player and Netflix and the surround sound system in the basement, and as a result it becomes difficult to make excuses not to do it. I’d be spending some time watching TV anyway (in your case all those movies you want to watch as another reboot goal spring to mind) so I might as well exercise while I’m doing it. You get double duty out of your time that way, and the TV takes your mind off the drudgery of exercise. The indoor exercise also takes the weather out of the equation as an excuse to not exercise (admittedly a bigger concern here in Canada than in California).
I have a nice quiet Schwinn recumbent bike which also leaves the hands free to hold a book as another alternative while riding (read more?). And you can always run instead some of the time too if that’s what you like to do to mix things up.
Other than that sounds like great progress on your goals. Well done!
I started a similar reboot about a month after you and I feel your pain about ice cream – I’ve had more McDonald’s ice cream cones in the last few months than I’ve had in years.
My medication is Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and celery.
I’m a doctor.
Wil, Thank You for checking in with us monthly and grading your progress on a curve. It is Very Possible that you were unwittingly an inspiration for my latest post. So Thank You for always allowing yourself to do/be your Best, and for inspiring us to improve where we can. Yes, I’ve just lumped all of your readers together and claimed “inspiration” for EVERYONE!
Seriously. Thanks.
RE: ticking the box once the 5K is done. So much yes. I find that I have to immediately sign up for another race or I just stop running. And, well, I don’t usually sign right up for another race. So yeah. It’s tough to keep going without that goal to cross out. But we must find another. I’ve brought in two friends and we are trying to do one 5K thing a season, so that helps.
Incidentally, I have only ever one that one triathlon we talked about. I’m going to another this summer, no matter what. If I register, I’ll make it a thing, and I’ll do it. If I don’t, well, all bets are off. So, I should register for one, yeah? 😉
Keep putting one foot in front of the other, Wil.
I’m happy that you cut alcohol out of your life. I’ve been sober for seven days today and I feel great. I just have to start doing something with all the free time that I have on my hands now. Right now, I just order a book online, so I am getting back in to reading. I have to mention that like you, my anxiety is manageable now, and I feel like my antidepressant medication works better with all the alcohol in my system. Good work bro. Excellent post.
Oops! I meant without the alcohol in my system.
Great job!
Movie I’d recommend to you that I saw on Amazon Prime: The Creep Behind the Camera. If you’re rolling through movies, I suggest rolling through this one; it’s sci-fi documentary with weirdness. True Hollywood story, and all. (And if you don’t like it, I owe you a beer. Oh, weight. No, wait. Right.)
(I lost 75 pounds in 10 months via going from cereal to Egg McMuffins, reducing exercise, and eliminating diet soda as part of a hunger-reduction measure. I reduced alcohol, but am back to having a beer or two. For those in similar situations, I suggest on weight compliments to externalize that it’s an ongoing system change; internally or externally declaring victory appears to send a bad message to the brain.)
Also, yes, Red Vines over Twizzlers.
I highly recommend long walks and audiobooks. I know I’ve listened to you narrate books to me on many walks in my past! This is an easy A to get both exercise AND reading in one-go. 🙂
Hey! Here’s a suggestion I employ, when depressed, refuse to give in, get up, take a shower and walk the dog! Good for u, makes sure the dog doesn’t pee in the house, win, win.
There is ALWAYS room for improvement. The important thing is you are moving forward and doing so much better on so many different things than 7 months ago. Yes, your commitments and depression caused a lower grade in physical activity. How great was it, though, that you got to do those commitments?? Didn’t you have fun doing that, and get to do fun, creative things? See — still moving forward, and still room for improvement. Thanks for sharing with us and being honest. I’ve made tiny steps in my own improvement, and you are an inspiration.
Have you looked into workouts you can do in your hotel room during times of travel?
There are a few options I’ve found here: http://darebee.com/programs/micro-hiit.html and here: https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2010/12/20/the-20-minute-hotel-workout/
Hope those help!
You are rocking. I recently read a thing tha said to be happy you need to do five things. 1 get enough sleep, 2 move your body every day, 3 eat a variety of things, mostly plants (from Michael Pollan’s advice), 4 don’t be isolated, and 5 be grateful.
You do all of those things and are clearly happier for it. I personally think the cutting back on alcohol has led to better sleep for me (and probably you) and it’s probably led to less anxiety for you. There’s nothing on the list that says don’t have some red vines or a little ice cream every day!
Red Vines every day of the week and twice on Tuesdays. Seriously, Twizzlers are gross.
Can’t usually have any licorice products nowadays as getting GF ones is a pain… 🙁
I have to do something about other food though…
You know what though, “C” on exercise or not – you look younger and more fit than you did when you began. I’m not just saying that. Look at the pics. You look years younger than you did last fall. Good for you !
😉
I just wanted to say thank you. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for years and every time you mention your depression I’ve remembered I need to do something about it.
I also remember when I look at the paper by the register at House of Secrets every week, to see if you drew another ninja :p
Today, I finally made an appointment with a counselor and it was super scary but I appreciate that you talk about such things. Thank you.
So, I’ve lost weight a few times in my life and done a similar reboot to what you are doing. When people ask how it is done my answer is always the same. “Replace everything fun in life with vegetables, water, and exercise.”
You look better, you feel better, but I honestly can’t say life is much fun. But fun is probably overrated and not something we are suppose to wallow in anyway.
My advice here Wil is aim to write short fiction just above eight hundred words. It is an ideal chapter length or stand alone fiction:
Here is a sample short fic:
The Rape of New Shanghai
Date: 2116AD,16 Febuary
Location: Sol-Proxima Transit, On approach to New Shanghai Colony.
Kate activated the intercom as the distant O’Neil cylinder designated as New Shanghai Colony became visible on radar.
“Colonel?” Kate waited for her passenger to wake.
“Yes?” Colonel Yang cleared her throat.
“New Shanghai Colony in range now Colonel.” Kate waited for a moment before opening communications with New Shanghai Traffic Control.
“New Shanghai Traffic Control, this is Colonial-one-eight on approach.” The colony grew inordinantly larger for the wait.
“New Shanghai Traffic Control, this is Colonial-one-eight on approach. Are you receiving me?” They were now at two kilometres.
There should be something. Kate looked at the data. Handshake good. No errors.
“New Shanghai Traffic Control, this is Colonial-one-eight on approach. Switching over to remote now.” The transport would proceed to autodock. Kate returned to internal comms.
“Colonel. No reply from the nest. Proceeding with Autodock.” Colonel Yang appeared at the flightdeck hatch.
“You said no reply?” Kate nodded.
Yang wiped at her eyes and unleashed a yawn.
“And not a comms error?” Kate shook her head.
“No…not a comms error.” Yang reached in to a pocket on her flight suit. The Blackberry was old.
“Retract Armour. Lets have a visual.” Kate retracted the Armour over the flightdeck to reveal New Shanghai Colony in all her glory.
“What the fuck is that?” The crumpled Graphene Foam hull had breached along the full length of the Cylinder exposing the Industrial decks to the cold of interstellar space. Colonel Yang franticaly typed on the Blackberry and sent the message.
“Still closing on autodock. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.” The transport made contact with the O’Neil cylinder. Locks bit down on the dock. Kate looked over her shoulder at the hull damage. The rupture was huge. Kate took a breath.
“We have hard dock.” Yang placed a hand on Kate’s shoulder.
Both hull layers had breached. How was that even possible? They both had family on New Shanghai. No emergency signal. Nothing. They had been gone six months up the colony trail and back again. What the hell had happened ?
“Begin transmit to New Bejing.” Kate spun up the Quantum Relay.
“Comms online.” Yang typed at the keys on her Blackberry, attatched an image of the hull breach and pushed send.
“EVA suits.” Kate nodded at Yang’s instruction and climbed out of her seat.
Kate followed Colonel Yang to the airlock. A locker released a pair of EVA suits.
“Are you okay?” Yang, helmet locked and sealed stared at Kate, her face and heart stricken with pain of what might be. Yang held up a thumb.
“I’m okay to go.” Kate regreted the words. Yang turned the key and watched the sensors as the exchange happened.
“Atmosphere in the pipe.” The pressure equalized.
“Release hatches.” Yang rotated the second key and the Automatics released the hatches. The graphene blocks moved to reveal the access to New Shanghai colony. A great panorama of the original Shanghai city on an increasingly distant Earth ran the length of the access.
At least there were no corpses huddled against the airlock in some panicked evaccuation gone tragically wrong as their indestructible colony failed around them. That most of all filled Yang with a terror she had thought left behind on an ever distant earth orbiting an ever distant star.
Yang’s Blackberry buzzed and they were both startled by its technological cry against an otherwise utter void of sound. Kate looked at the device strapped on Yang’s forearm.
“Do you want to get that or should I?” Yang fumbled for the device and Kate watched as the graphene device display illuminated her face and the message reflected off the Colonel’s visor.
Kate could read it easily.
‘WTF?? HTFITEP? WL CHK LOGS. KEEP UPDATED!’ Yang typed a new message and pressed send.
“We keep going.” Kate nodded.
“Agreed.” Yang moved forward. Fifty metres… Kate stared at the panorama. The people in the street…deceased…old.
Yang’s mother. Young. Virile. Caught straddling the lap of a young man who may or may not have been Colonel Yang’s biological father. They had selected the panorama because it had tied at least one of the colonists to the past. There they were. Two earthlings.
Two earthlings whose descendants were on this colony. Girls came here to look at the lovers and run home giggling. It was something they didnt see any more. A colony of a thousand women and a freezer full of sperm. Colony after colony…filled with women chasing a Sunmaker to Proxima.
“You will have to forgive her one of these days.” Kate knew Yang harboured a few irrational hatreds. Her mother’s decision to marry according to her parent’s expectations was one of them.
“Not going to talk about it.” Yang turned the key on the boarding Gate revealing a corpse in military combat armour guarding the transit lounge. Yang looked at the face hoping for some glimmer of recognition. It was a Man.
So there is over eight hundred words…sure It leaves you hanging but it suits the style.
You inspired me to do my own “reboot” and write about it at my blog. Thanks!
http://www.ontheroadwithdave.com/2016/05/dave-5-4-the-reboot.html
When running or during long commutes, I’ve recently discovered podcasts like Sneak Attack and Godsfall. It takes “some” of the tedium away…
Red Vines come in a sugar-free version. ‘jussain