depression (still) lies

One of the super fun things about living with depression and anxiety is how my idiot brain can go from “CAN DO!” to “EXISTENCE IS SUFFERING” faster than you can wish to take two strokes off your golf game. So today started out normal, and very quickly became a rough day. One of the ways I help myself through days like today, is to acknowledge that I’m sick not weak, and then take one step after another to get out from under the lead apron that Depression likes to drape over my life.

I just answered an ask on my Tumblr thingy that has helped me feel better, and I wanted to put it here, so it’s easy for me to find again the next time I need it:

==

Q: what can I do to bring myself out of depression?

A: It isn’t easy, and accepting and understanding that is the first and very important step to getting through it.

So I’m having a tough day today, and I know that it’s my mental illness taking small things that most people can probably roll past, and blowing them up into one giant lead apron of I CAN’T EVEN.

Knowing that and accepting it doesn’t make it go away, but it does give me a little bit of light in this darkness, to help me eventually find the exit.

We have to remind ourselves that Depression Lies, and one of the things it does, to keep itself strong and in charge, is tell us lies, like: I am the worst at everything. Nobody really likes me. I don’t deserve to be happy. This will never end. And so on and so on. We can know, in our rational minds, that this is a giant bunch of bullshit (and we can look at all these times in our lives when were WERE good at a thing, when we genuinely felt happy, when we felt awful but got through it, etc.) but in the moment, it can be a serious challenge to wait for Depression to lift the roadblock that’s keeping us from moving those facts from our rational mind to our emotional selves.

And that’s the thing about Depression: we can’t force it to go away. As I’ve said, if I could just “stop feeling sad” I WOULD. (And, also, Depression isn’t just feeling sad, right? It’s a lot of things together than can manifest themselves into something that is most easily simplified into “I feel sad.”)

So another step in our self care is to be gentle with ourselves. Depression is beating up on us already, and we don’t need to help it out. Give yourself permission to acknowledge that you’re feeling terrible (or bad, or whatever it is you are feeling), and then do a little thing, just one single thing, that you probably don’t feel like doing, but I PROMISE you will help. Some of those things are:

  • Take a shower.
  • Eat a nutritious meal.
  • Take a walk outside (even if it’s literally to the corner and back).
  • Do something – throw a ball, play tug of war, give belly rubs – with a dog. Just about any activity with my dogs, even if it’s just a snuggle on the couch for a few minutes, helps me.
  • Do five minutes of yoga stretching.
  • Listen to a guided meditation and follow along as best as you can.

Finally, please trust me and know that this shitty, awful, overwhelming, terrible way you feel IS NOT FOREVER. It will get better. It always gets better. You are not alone in this fight, and you are OK.

You can ALWAYS talk to a mental health professional, too, if you have any thoughts of self-harm or feel hopeless. Some free and anonymous resources are:

Check in with me in a few days and let me know how you’re doing, okay?

==

For myself, today: I am getting off Twitter for at least the rest of today, and maybe until the end of the weekend. I am walking myself and my dogs. I am meditating. I am making sure I eat a nutritious lunch AND dinner (go me!). And I’m going to accept that, at this moment, my creative well is dry. It will refill in its own time, and I have to accept that I can’t force it.

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144 thoughts on “depression (still) lies”

  2. I’m wishing you the best. I’m sure this helped at least one person through a tough time, and probably more. You’re a good person.

  3. This is right on time. The last few days my brain has been at peak asshole.

    In the trenches with you internet pal.

  4. One of the bad things for me as a Celiac is that one of my stages of recovering from being glutened is a very severe depression (this on top of the depression I fight on a day-to-day basis…even with medication). There have been times that they day was as black as it could possibly get and the only thing that has gotten me out of that funk is realizing and telling myself (out loud, sometimes) that this was caused by being glutened and that it will pass. Being outside, getting some fresh air, going for a walk…these things help me more than anything else.

    The same is true for when it’s not a gluten depression…telling myself that I was depressed and that it was ok, and getting outside. It’s the best medicine for me sometimes.

    1. I am also a celiac. I didn’t know, that gluten can trigger depression. I usually just get a stomach ache and other symptoms. Next time, I get glutened, I will have to pay attention to my mood.

      1. The “joy” of celiac…the reactions are varied and many. One of my other stages is extremely vivid dreams. I’ve woken up thinking there was a sea urchin laying on my pillow, that a huge bird had flown through the bedroom window and was flapping about and much, much worse.

    2. Celiac here and I get terrible depression and anxiety if I get glutened. I have not met anyone else who has this symptom and glad to know there are others! My doctor thought I was crazy for saying it caused me depression and anxiety.

      1. You are not alone.

        Gluten gave me 4 years of unrelenting depression, exhaustion and brain fog spiced with 5 panic attacks a day. Literally dying from “poison”.

        Stop gluten, all gone in 4 days. Except lotsa fun leftovers such as massive burnout, massive inflamation issues, and ptsd of that time…in the end lyrica helped a lot. Used in Europe for GAD. Technically not celiac btw, inflamation reaction.

        Anyone w depression should try a chicken n “safe” organic veggie diet for a week, if they can. I know a handful of people like me, and more w other food issues.

        And Wil, good on you for sharing. High five. I hope this bout ends early.

      2. I get both as well…so you aren’t alone! It is interesting the different types of reactions that people can go through with this. It’s no fun…but it sure is an adventure! Best of luck for you (and the other Celiacs)…in coping and in not getting cross-contaminated.

    1. Thank you Wil, and thank you Donna, this was really important for me to see today. Xx

    2. Thank you Donna (and Wil) – especially for the first link. Copied and already acted on. You made someone’s day better today!

  6. This could not have come at a better time, thank you. I have been having a shit day, and a shit week. Just sitting here clicking from one site to the next on the computer when your email blog notification comes in. I almost ignored it, but I am glad I didn’t. It was a great reminder.

    It is hard, it’s a struggle. Even at 38, I can rationalize how great my life is, but does this depression know that? FUCK no it doesn’t. Depression is an asshole.

  7. I relate to this. Knowing that others feel what I feel is always a help. I commend you for being so open and honest!

  9. I was in the throws of depression without more than a couple of days of reprieve for just about 4 years straight. The last 4 or 5 months of that were going through and then recovering from my first major depressive episode. I have to say the “it will get better” line did not help me even a little bit. Quite the opposite, in fact. I had literally zero evidence that it would (and, let’s face it, it probably wouldn’t have made a difference if I did). I don’t know what the alternative is to saying that, but it definitely just made me feel that everyone was taking a hands-off approach. Like “well, nothing we’re doing is working, but we know it can’t last forever, right? Right?!”
    Even now… I’ve been okay for the last 2 months but I’m still walking around like that’s going to change any second now. So even though technically I am better, my brain still calls bullshit whenever I hear someone say it will get better. I hope that it gives hope to someone else. I hope that your words help someone. I hope I never go 4 years without caring about anything again. But mostly I wish there was a one-size-fits-all approach that coulf have helped me.

  10. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone in this. Last week I was literally eyeing up a stack of pills and feeling like the worst piece of shit mother in the world because I’ve been struggling with my boys’ special needs, this week I’m happily baking for them and feeling ‘normal’. This illness can overwhelm you so quickly and completely it’s scary but I know I’m always a stronger person when I fight back. Although I’m hating that I let it stop me booking London Comicon at the time! Wishing you health and happiness xx

  11. “the lead apron that Depression likes to drape over my life”

    This is the best analogy I’ve ever heard and will remember to use this description on the rare times I bother trying to explain things. I very much respect and appreciate you Wil and am grateful you posted this, are and continue to be, open about this stuff. Helps man. Love you guy.

    bri

  13. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for over 20 years. Ups and downs. Hating myself for being so weak. It took years to really understand I have a lagit illness, even long to understand I need to always be on my meds, even longer to get the right meds, and longer yet before I could start telling people about my illness without feeling terrible about myself. You and Jarad Padaleki have been major inspirations on that front. You are an kind an generous man who reminds me that depression lies, and helps me feel not so alone in this fight. And that truly is what it is, a fight. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

  14. Like Hannah Hart, I tend to get seasonal depression in the summer, unlike the winter like most seasonal depressives I know. I feel like I’ve been slogging through a lot of this summer so far. Which sucks because I recently came off a bad bit of depression that was more situational than chemical and I’m ready to not be fucking depressed anymore. But I’ve been eating better, making myself get out more to hang out with friends, and being kind to myself when I feel like my creative and emotional wells are dry.

    Thank you for posting this. Thank you for being open and honest about your mental health. Thank you for being here for us and letting us be here for you.

  15. Thank you, Wil Wheaton. I’ve started speaking out over the last couple of years and hear a lot of private thank yous. If I can make a difference, the difference you make is monumental. Getting to the point where you can tell yourself “My brain is a lying asshole” is a HUGE step, and yet? It still has power. Being able to remind others? Makes some days worth getting out of bed.

  16. Thanks for talking about your depression. You are one of the main reasons I am on meds. Thank you for coming out.

  18. Thank you! I’ve shared this with my daughter that suffers from bipolar depression and anxiety. Not only do my daughter and I suffer from depression, but so does my son. You worded this in a way that I have never done.

  19. My depression and anxiety seems to be causing other symptoms. Get to wear a heart monitor tomorrow for 24 hours and have an ECG on Monday because out of the blue I now have a racing heart beat. The brain stuff is hard enough to deal with!!! Glad you have found things to help you cope 🙂

  20. Dear me, I have tears in my eyes as I read this, I have a list like this I keep by computer, to pull out and read when I am deep in depression valley. I call it my depression first aid kit. I also have a list of things to do when I’m not depressed continue to take care of myself, remember that I don’t have to catch up on everything the didn’t get done while depressed and spend time in the moment to enjoy my friends and family. Enjoy your time away from Twitter, it can be wearing reading through the various bits and pieces these days.

  22. Thanks, Wil!
    I do the same thing–those little things in life that are normal–for me: grocery shopping, laundry, or recall scenes and lines from my favorite shows–make me feel a little “normal” again and I trudge on. After all, in the overall scheme of things, life really is worth it!

  24. Thank you for this, I really appreciate you being transparent about depression, it helps me to be that way too

  27. Thank you for posting this. I know many people who deal with depression on a regular basis. I shared this article to friends so they can check out what you have to say.

  28. “[Depression] makes you feel like an old man at 27. It makes you feel lost as a child at 52” —Rich Larson

    Checking in: I feel distant and numb. Not an unusual feeling for me but if left here too long it can get dangerous. I have no choice but to plug through everyday cause I have to work but it is really difficult. For me, I have to take one minute at a time. Sometimes that is all I have the energy for.

    If it’s ok, I would like to check in again in like a week to see how I am doing.

  29. Right after I started getting anxiety attacks (because 20+ years of depression just wasn’t fun enough) my husband gave me some really good advice. He said “Your feelings are real, what’s causing them isn’t”. I find that focusing on that thought allows me to process the real feeling I’m having while being able to acknowledge that the reason behind it may be entirely my jerk-wad brain just trying to kill me again.

    Baby steps, self care and snuggles. This too shall pass.

  30. Depression lies. Jenny reminds me of that all of the time and I still struggle. It helps just to know there are others like you that struggle right along with me. It is a day to day thing for me and it’s exhausting but I have patient people in my life that love me. I know I’m lucky. Thank you for this, Wil. It will get better.

  31. Wil, I suffered from depression and anxiety for 40 years (from age 10!! To age 50). It took all that time to find a medication that helped and FINALLY getting a doctor to recognize anxiety and the primary driver of my depression.

    I still suffer from bouts of anxiety but being able to manage the symptoms with medication helps me work through the depression and anxiety. Part of the anxiety is the fear of the anxiety… It is a self-perpetuating spiral if I don’t mitigate it with the medication. Learning to recognise the symptoms of the onset of depression has helped a LOT. I have gotten a little down at times but nothing like in the past.

    I still have to be cognicent of my thought patterns and be honest and open with family and friends. I don’t ever want to go where I went in the past.

    It is important to be honest and open with those who care about us. I even approached the HR manager at the company I worked at and explained that I suffer from depression and anxiety and some days are bad days. He arranged to give me time when I needed it and supported me. I know some companies would be less than supportive but I was very lucky.

    I am a very lucky person.

  32. I just want to tell you something good that’s happened to me and my family because of you and Tabletop. My best friend, her sweet husband, and their cutie-pie daughter are Tabletop fans. They play board games A LOT. When they planned their trip to come see me and my husband, my friend told me to plan on playing board games. She later posted links to Tabletop eps so I could watch how to play three of the games she wanted us to play. During their too-short visit, we played Epic Tiny Galaxies, Lords of Waterdeep, and Dead of Winter. Oh, and Exploding Kittens, but that was just me and the kidlet. We had so much fun. We ate snacks and laughed and trash talked and then galloped upstairs to watch more Tabletop eps. The daughter adores you. She’s nine, and she’s funny and smart and loving. She quotes you. Nine years old! So when the depression starts lying again (and it will) remember that you have made our little extended family happy with Tabletop and your sense of humor, and there’s a nine-year-old out here who thinks you’re the bees’ knees. We do too, by the way. We’re in your corner, cheering you on, because you deserve to be happy and healthy. Take care of yourself.

  34. Whatever you do if you are depressed, don’t cal 911. I’ve heard emergency personnel say nasty things about people who call for mental health issues like suicidality. Instead, create a safety plan while you are well. There are many templates online.

    1. I think the emergency room is the best option. The nurses will monitor you for a certain amount of time before they release you. They will just make sure you are not going to hurt yourself or anyone else. They will schedule you for therapy and a follow-up appointment with your doctor. My brother-in-law works in a psych-ward.

      You also shouldn’t discourage people from calling 9-11. I once had a panic attack and had to call 9-11. They didn’t judge me on the phone. When I got to the hospital, they gave me a shot to calm me down, and then sent me home.

      Maybe, Minnesota is more sensitive towards Mental Illness. We do have transitional housing for people getting out of the psych ward who have been there for a long time. We are more about helping people get back into society.

  35. Thankfully I’ve never experienced true depression. I’ve had my downs, sure. And I’ve always had crippling self confidence issues that have severely damaged my way of life. But I still appreciate Wil’s words of advice.

    If I may add one more thing to the list. If you can, get out into nature. Even if its just your back garden or a local park. Watch the leaves of the trees. Study a bug as it goes about its business. Lie down on the grass, close your eyes and just listen. There is something calming and grounding to nature. Our human problems get pushed just a little further away. Sometimes that is enough.

    I hope Wil and everyone who has commented here can find their own ways to improve their mental well being.

    1. If I may add one more thing to the list. If you can, get out into nature. Even if its just your back garden or a local park. Watch the leaves of the trees.

      I love this suggestion. I walked a little farther than I usually do, today, specifically so I could go through a park. I didn’t put together how restorative that is, until I read your comment. And as soon as it cools off a little bit, I’m going to go out and tend to my garden. Thanks!

      1. Thanks for your inspiration, Wil! As a woman in my seventies who had been diagnosed as bipolar years ago but now have had it under control for a number of years, I do appreciate the advice. But, I hate to tell you, seeing Trump elected, almost drove me back into therapy and medication! I literally couldn’t stop crying for the next two or three days! Because I had a vertigo attack, I had to take my motion sickness pills which also gave me a chance to have a respite. I then abstained from politics for the next few days and was able to bring myself back from the brink of depression once again. I am bothered by the current political situation, but I am able to handle it now. Good luck to you, Wil!

      2. Adding to this is to bring nature into the house and room you spend you time in. Get a new plant ( a hardy kind – even cactus if need be), bring in some flowers, a bowl of fruit on the table. Make it a point to take a picture on your walk and then print it out and put it up somewhere,

      3. My backyard grass is has exploded with clover flowers and the bees are everywhere. I love sitting on my lawn chair watching and listening to their buzzing around. Some days I wish we could just leave all the tech and go back to the wild…..

  36. I hope that your depression passes quickly. I also suffer from depression and anxiety. For me, I feel like depression is like the weather. One minute it’s sunny, and the next there is rain. It usually rains (metaphoric rain) for a few days, before I start feeling better.
    The depression never creeps up on me. I always wake up depressed, which is a bummer. When I am having a bad day, I let my husband know, that I am unable to adult. Depression also brings me pain and is mentally exhausting. I sometimes can understand, why people commit suicide. Episodes of depression are exhausting, and the fear of constantly feeling like this- makes a person feel doomed. When I am having an episode of depression, I get angry about it. Even when one is taking medication, depression finds a way, to slip through the cracks. Like how an unwanted rodent comes into the kitchen, slips into the cupboard, and chews a hole in a package of cookies. When I am feeling depressed, I have found that sun therapy works. The sun also helps with the production of serotonin. Getting a lot of sunshine helps people fall asleep more quickly. (There are articles on this claim) When I can’t force myself to get outdoors, I binge watch television shows, while inhaling a container of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Napping also seems to help since it helps my brain recover. Have you tried aromatherapy? Aromatherapy is supposed to help with depression. It wouldn’t hurt to try. I hope you get back to feeling like yourself. Enjoy your break from social media.

  37. You and your wife are great people! I love seeing you on TV and I hope you’re feeling better soon. I’ve had a few bad weeks and my medication hasn’t changed, it’s just me! I have multiple sclerosis and some days just suck. Take care please!!

  38. As I read Wil’s blog entry and the comments that follow, it sounds like, for many, when depression hits, it often feels “big,” obvious, clearly recognizable like an immediate and/or clear slap to the soul that “you’re not good enough” or “you’ll never do anything worthwhile” etc. Does anyone experience depression as this subtle, nagging worry, fear, sadness etc nibbling around the edges of your consciousness until there’s a raw spot? I experience depression both as a symptom of young onset Parkinson’s Disease but also as a reaction to other ongoing health issues (primarily an aggressive tumor disorder in my feet that is requiring multiple – mostly failing – surgeries.) For me, depression seems to lurk just slightly outside my awareness so it is much harder to see it for what it is until it’s in so deep, it seems impossible to overcome. My PD meds help; in fact, my depression ebbs & flows throughout the day as my dopamine levels rise and fall. However, depression is still there and all it takes is a little push – like bad news from the doctor or an unexpected bill – and the distance between me & depression closes. Sorry to ramble…just wondering aloud if anyone experiences depression as more of a constant “background” phenomenon that can loom large if not vigilant or if most experience depression as a suddenly-appearing loud, screaming-in-your-head-thing…I’m sure that everyone’s experience is as unique as their fingerprints. I am really tired (recovering from yet another surgery in fact) and I guess I am just trying to analyze a bit to regain some control and having a hard time explaining what I mean…Love & strength to all here who struggle with depression in whatever form it troubles you and thank you Wil for your honesty and openness. I appreciate the space to click out a few thoughts…

    1. Persistent depressive disorder is what I was diagnosed with. It’s definitely more background noise. For me, it presents as a lack of interest. I can get things done. I can go to work and shower and clean the house. But everything’s a little more robotic than normal. This isn’t all of it, but I definitely sought help after relating so much to Sadness and Riley without her islands of personality in Inside Out. Of course, that means nothing to you if toy haven’t seen the movie. Anyway, yes. There are others who don’t necessarily have the in – your – face, stark symptoms. It doesn’t make it less real or more okay.

  39. These past two weeks have been perfectly shitty. Though i have had legitimate things to be depressed about – my daughter and new granddaughter moved to another city 3 hrs away, my brother died, i got glutened and dairied which triggered every joint in my body to flare i still belittled myself for being depressed. It’s like, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. All of the piss ass negative talk made even worse by not allowing legitimate grief intensified the legitimate grief. In this instance social media helped and people reached out to commiserate- but then i felt shitty for pulling people into my sorrow game, even though it was yhe real deal. As if it’s ever NOT the real deal. Yeah, depression is insidious and smart, but it’s also surmountable. In each small step around the block, in each weed pulled in the garden, in each doggie belly rub, in each smile exchange with a stranger. Thanks for your reminders, and all you do to make this disease bearable. Peace.

  40. Wow. This is the most accurate description of the kind of depression I experience that I’ve ever read. I call it losing my mojo. I just want to crawl into a book or a mindless phone game until it’s over. I also have amazing people around me whose little acts of kindness help me out. My neighbor brought me a plate of still-hunting ginger snap cookies yesterday. Today I felt like cleaning the house.

    Most people don’t realize it, but tiny acts of kindness can make a big difference.

  41. Thanks for sharing that. My husband is bipolar and his depression phase is very hard to deal with. You sharing your experiences helps me.

  42. Oh man. I really needed to read this today, so thank you. Depression and anxiety are big lying assholes and it can be so hard to see the beautiful forest through the rotten depression trees. I recently heard something in a podcast that really resonated with me and thought it might help you too.

    When we are in a place of desperation and are thirsty for self care, any little thing counts and will help fill your bucket back up. Think of self care like carbs and proteins. A healthy diet will be lots of proteins with limited carbs, but when you are feeling like you are starving , a “carb” is a pretty damn good thing. That would be small things, like a candy bar, putting on pjs at noon, pedicure, walking the dog, etc. And once you feel like you’re climbing out of that pit of survival, fed by “carbs”, you can work on a healthier diet of “proteins”, like finding a new therapist, seeking meds, or undertaking some bigger, more difficult steps to recovery.

    I often feel like small acts of self care aren’t very meaningful, so what’s the point if it isn’t really going to change anything? But that perspective of taking what you can get to survive really helped me shift my thinking, in the dark times.

    Hang in there, Wil. You are doing a really good thing by being honest and open about your struggles and helping a lot of people, so keep up the good work.

  43. My depression has been in remission for the last 2 years, but it was there for 11 years. For the first 9 years I appeared to function normally to others and even myself, but I was miserable all the time. I had a horrible time getting out of bed, I slept from 6am to 3pm. I somehow forced myself to go to work at a job that was awful (cashier at a grocery store). I believed I wasn’t depressed because I didn’t feel anything and I thought I needed to feel empty or hollow to be considered depressed, but not feeling anything is basically being empty anyway. In 2013 and 2014, I was unemployed and I got worse and ended up in the ER for suicidal ideation. It wasn’t until June 2015 that things started to line up. I regulated my sleeping patterns, I consistently used my CPAP, I stopped isolating myself, and I found a combination of meds that finally worked. My 11 year battle with depression taught me empathy and compassion and I feel I am a much better person because of it. Because of my experiences I speak out about my mental illnesses because I don’t want anyone to feel like they are alone. When I started my job in 2015, I told some of my coworkers about my depression and they’ve told me that my openness helped them talk about their experiences too. So I greatly appreciate your openness about your experiences because it does help others going through the same thing.

  44. Thank you for sharing this… I’m trying to be a good partner and I find it so difficult to understand how this affects my girlfriend. I can empathize, but it’s so hard to be on the receiving end. She has gone through a rough last two weeks, and is now in the process of leaving our relationship. I forwarded this to her… with another note of apology. I have clearly failed her: ‘I don’t know what it is like for you… I’ll never know. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know and haven’t tried to be supportive. I’m so sorry that I haven’t done more and that I have failed you when you needed me. I love you. Please don’t give up on me’. Please send good thoughts our way.

    1. I hope that this helps…
      I know what you’re going through since I have been through it. When I was still dating my husband, we moved in together. I don’t like change, and new situations scare me. I also have depression and anxiety, so I was in constant fight and flight mode. Sam didn’t understand, how to handle the situations. He would talk too much, and it would make things worse. Eventually, I told him, what ‘I’ needed, and it made things better.

      People with depression/anxiety have a very sensitive fight and flight response to things. When they’re feeling anxious, they will freak the hell out. You might have been feeling supportive, but it might not have been in the way, that your girlfriend needs. Ask her, how you can make the situation better? What’s the right way to respond? What does she need? Does she want to go out for coffee or get ice cream? Saying sorry for making things worse, does go a long way.

      1/2

      1. Loving someone with mental illness can be challenging. Ask your girlfriend, to tell you, when she’s having a bad day. This information will let you know, that she’s going to need extra love and sensitivity. Let your girlfriend know, that she is loveable. And that she won’t always feel this way, it does get better.

        I hope your girlfriend is on a medication and doing talking therapy. Sometimes, we have to try several medications, before we find one that fits us best. Good luck.

        2/2

  45. Thank you for writing this. I’m a volunteer counselor with Crisis Text Line and its been very meaningful to me.

  46. When my anxiety spikes, I try to remember to take deep calming breathes. I tend to hold my breath when I am upset, so this is super important for me. It’s usually enough to let me start thinking again, instead of just feeling.

  47. I’m sorry Depression has kicked up for you. Mine has been lessened lately and it’s been so long since that happened that I’m torn between being excited that I’m writing (even if it’s silly little fanfics) and have the energy to do things with friends (and get through SDCC next week) and being terrified it’s about to all come crashing down by whatever fucking stupid thing Depression will cling to next to be like “heeeeeeey yooooooooooou suuuuuuuuuuuuck” (to the tune of a Goonie-esque “Hey you guys!” call)

    I hope it ebbs back soon and until then, keep taking care of yourself. You are a wonderful human and feel free to return and read this (and all the other positive comments!) whenever Depression lies to tell you differently. hugs

  48. I don’t have a depression diagnosis, but I’m autistic and it’s by far the most common comorbidity we deal with. I especially get super depressed after a sensory-related meltdown, but especially in the past six months or so I’ve been dealing with it on a grander scale. The world seems so angry and hell-bent on destroying itself and everyone in it. Humans are such assholes to each other. Something will happen and then I stay in bed for like three days.

    Reading things like your posts and Buddhist meditations (not religious, but I can get behind the philosophy!) help a lot. You’re not only giving substantive advice – you’re reminding those of us who get existential that there are people who actually care if we live or die, even though it may not feel like it.

  49. My brain is also being an asshole today/this week. My dog would like to say thanks for reminding me he’s right there and would like to snuggle on the couch. Or walk. Or chase a ball. Or get brushed. Or anything honestly.

  50. Mr. Wheaton, your post could not have been anymore timely for me. Even just reading the comments and knowing that I am not alone is helping to slowly lift that giant lead apron off of one shoulder, and that is an OK start.

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