68 thoughts on “the hilarious world of depression”

1. Thanks for sharing this !!!

2. For a ‘failed actor’ you bring a lot of joy to a huge number of other Earthlings. I would say you’re a successful human being. Love to you and Ann – and the dogs! x

   1. Nicely said, Evadene!

      1. blush Thanks.

   2. I second that motion!

3. I check in here, periodically, to see how my friend Wil is doing. (I think of you as my friend.) I wonder if his depression has kicked his butt or if he’s had a good day. Would him knowing that there are lots of us out here in cyberland who cheer for him, who pray for him, who love him for his humor and generous heart? Keep trying, keep moving forward, and please, oh please, don’t let the monsters in your head get to you.
   with much love and support,
   your friend,
   Celeste

4. Thanks for continuing to talk about this, Wil. You’ve inspired me to get help for my own depression, which in the past has caused me to lose friends and even jobs. You showed me that depression lies, and understanding that is what finally compelled me to get help. Now, a year later, I’m in a good place. I still have bad days, but when I do, I remember your frank discussion about depression, and your message that “depression lies,” and I find the strength to fight through it. I know I’m just a random guy you’ve never met, but please accept my heartfelt thanks. You helped to save my life in more ways then one.

5. I love this cast! When they had the preview show, I was so glad to hear you would be on.
   Thank you!

6. Again, WIl, this is powerful stuff and I thank you for continuing to talk about mental illness and its effect on you and that, if you have it, that it’s not your fault. Keep on being awesome.

7. As someone who suffers from sometimes crippling anxiety and OCD, thank you for talking about this stuff. Honestly, I think you are more successful as an adult than as a child actor in many ways. You probably have a much wider fanbase now than you ever did then, and your fans love you for being you and not because of some characters you’ve played. I always joke that my biggest regret about leaving LA was never having the pleasure of making your aquaintance. You are down-to-earth AND you quote Smiths lyrics and like Bauhaus??!! Who knew you are a closet goth? <3

8. Failed actor, happier person, maybe? Thanks for sharing things many of us have a hard time being open about.

9. I wouldn’t call you a failed actor. “Fickle tastes” is an apt description of Hollywood – but it also means performers who hang in there live long enough to see their “second act”. To wit: Michael Keaton & John Travolta.

10. Thank you Wil. Every one of the above comments reflect my feelings, opinions, and identifying with aspects of your life. I do think of you as a friend. You personify so many of the best traits in humanity. Cliché alert!!: Keep fighting the good fight! And know you are loved and admired by millions (no strings attached).

11. Wesley Crusher was my favourite character in Next Generation. You are not a failed actor. You had some great storylines. Thank you for sharing . Just want you to know there is a lot to f respect for you over here in the UK.

12. Thanks wil … i listened to it all …. thanks …. its goid to know we are not alone in our battles

13. “Sometimes nerds rebel by moving to Kansas.” I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT. ahem

    This is a great interview, I have so many thoughts about it, but…that you think of Wil Wheaton as a failed actor…it just hit me that because I’ve never had a novel I thought I could try to get published, because I’ve never submitted a single short story for publication, because I don’t write fiction constantly, even though I’ve published loads of poems on my blog, I’ve been writing blog posts for over 15 years, I’ve done NaNoWriMo a number of years and finished it twice, even though I’m a pretty damn good librarian, I’ve helped raise a daughter into an amazing young woman…I still think of myself primarily, to the point of it overshadowing everything else a lot of the time, as “Josh Neff, failed writer.” Which is objectively dumb, but still. You’re not a failed actor, and you’re so much more than an actor, but I totally get hanging on to that thing. Depression and anxiety are assholes.

    Also, carrying a notebook around as a kid and constantly writing and drawing stories? That was me, too. 🙂

14. I agree, for my son and I, you are our favorite character on TNG

    1. We also LOVE you voice acting / book narration on Audible.

       1. Agreed. Iust finished listing to Ready Player One for the second time. Wil’s reading of that really makes the book.

15. Dag nabbit, Wil! I already have too many podcasts to listen to, and now I… Fine! I’ll listen to it. But JUST FOR YOU. I’m doing this for all the years we’ve known each other. Friendship means that much to me.

16. Failed actor! No way! Depression can really make you belittle your own accomplishments. I understand. I can certainly relate to your issues. I’ve been job hunting for a while and it makes me feel similar to how you feel about auditions. Hang in there. I believe in you.

17. Hmmm. I read “Just A Geek,” so I knew the story of you getting screwed over with Valmont, but I don’t think in the book you wrote who did it or why. Such a slimy move. I hope it’s some consolation that Rick Berman is less popular with Star Trek fans than Wesley Crusher ever was.

18. Wil, thanks for being open about your journey. I respected you for your openness regarding depression and anxiety and panic experiences before encountering them myself. I didn’t know what you were talking about when you described it. I felt helpless as you described what you were going through. Now, I appreciate your openness. I have some sense of knowing that I’m not crazy. There is someone who has been down this road. There is someone going down this road. I know that I am just beginning to find some healing. Thank you for blazing some kind of trail.

19. Wil: this is a very enlightening podcast. I’m sure you have heard it before, but you probably need to give yourself a break. It’s easier said than done, believe me.

20. The best thing about this post is the comment thread so far. Wi’s fan base is pretty darn awesome (if I do say so myself).

21. Wil, thanks for talking so honestly and humorously about depression. All struggles are different as I have learned in the last two years or so and I know sharing can sometimes help. Sometimes it can’t and I respect that too.

    On another note, regarding acting/performing/directing/producing, I am based in Edinburgh, Scotland and you would absolutely smash it over here during the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. It’s an environment where you can be what you want to be, bring whatever show or shows you wish and explore as a performer. It’s the biggest arts festival in the world and you could do a one man show, tackle some serious drama, join some arts panels as well as see literally thousands of shows which might inspire your own work. I use it each year as a kind or artistic re-set, a chance to check in on my priorities and the type of work I would like to create.

    It’s a chance to connect with an entirely different type of audience. Yeah, you would get the sci fi fans (of which I am one, sort of) but you would find an audience of people willing to take a risk on something new, something different.

    So, come on over, It’s an open access festival, you get to spend a month in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and perhaps use August as a pivot to a different stream of work. It’s so different to comic con or anything else I have come across. In 2017, there were many shows focussing on mental health.

    A Fringe specific podcast using your existing skills? A one man show on your Hollywood story so far?
    Hosting a daily talk show with other artists? Acting in a drama? A podcast on your Fringe experience?

    We’d love to have you.

    Take care
    Gary

22. Fantastic! Thanks for your continued passion in bringing awareness and normalizing the disease which we both struggle with. Have you approached Zach Braff at all about possible collaboration? You both have crossover advocacy on mental illness.

23. Listened to it this afternoon. REALLY enjoyed that. As someone who deal with anxiety issues (nicely controlled right now), it’s great to see people talking about mental health more openly.

    As a Minnesotan… John Moe is amazing and one of our state’s treasures. Love his work. Was so excited that you got to sit down and talk with him, and that you pulled out the North Stars shirt to honor our great hockey state.

    Something I’ve always admired about you is your ability to tell a story. Listening to you talk about your past, and how it’s led to where you are, reminds me of how great and talented you are as a storyteller. I know you still hold on to that actor moniker (and you did a great job explaining your reasoning in the show), but I tell you… I really love Wil Wheaton the storyteller more than I like Wil Wheaton the actor. I’m not saying you’re a bad actor at all, but in comparison to your talents as a storyteller and general entertainer (love it when you host things), it just feels like acting doesn’t fit you as well. That’s not to disparage your acting, but to hold up all of the other things you do, and acknowledge how truly amazing they are. You’re a phenomenally talented person; don’t stop being amazing in everything you do, even if the acting thing never becomes your bread and butter again.

24. Speaking of your work as an actor, and feel free not to tell me if it’s spoilers (I’m still early in season 2), are you back on Dark Matter at any point since your S1 episode?

25. To be honest, Wil’s appearances on The Big Bang Theory were the funniest episodes. I keep hoping they bring Wil back more.

26. I really doubt you are a ‘failed’ actor. Wherever I see you on the screen, I really enjoy you appearances. But I understand, as someone with similar issues, that having to convince yourself may be the biggest problem. You are great!

27. Rambo, you not expendable!

28. I now exactly how you feel my brotha. Even when people tell me that I’m a very intelligent person, I feel that I am stupid. But let me tell you brotha, you are not a failed actor, you are a legend. Plus, that’s your mental disorder talking to you. Just tell it to go fuck it self and to leave you alone.

29. Thank you for sharing, Wil. One of my daughters and I struggle with depression as well. Just know that you have succeeded! You ARE a success! You are a world famous actor and web personality that millions adore and you have a family that loves you! Never doubt that.

30. I listened it was hard for me, not because it wasn’t good, it was excellent but i related so much to the sense of it. I relate not in the same way as my life is very different from yours. But the being bullied and being relentlessly made fun not because i was an actor in a TV show but because I was in special ed. I like having friends but my depression is all like whenever someone cancels plans or stands me up it automatically tells me that you have no friends that no one likes you. When the reality is i have at least 3 people i can call and one of them would make plans and stick with them. I try not to be mean to people or make fun of them, although when i’m having a bad day i have been known to lash out and i feel really bad afterwards.

    I remember and this happened two years ago and I still feel awful about it. I was in a psychosis and i thought your wife was controlling things she couldn’t possibly control like the weather (don’t ask why i thought this) and I was having a really bad day I had just gotten back on meds after being 16 months off of them, and i blamed your wife for something in my life and i got on twitter i said something out of anger to her, and that wasn’t fair to her because it actually wasn’t her fault. It couldn’t have been. So being schizoaffective has it’s draw backs and i deal with depression which is a part of it. But the point is i made i promise is if i ever met her in real life i’d apologize. She probably doesn’t remember the event but i’d do it more for me and i expect her to get mad, but she may not. I might write a letter if the situation ever happens and give it to her. I’m on meds now and they help, but i still have bad days.I also go to therapy (which i’ve never enjoyed) , but i’m going because my depression is acting up. Maybe because dead people keep visiting me in my dreams and i’m terrified i’m gonna die soon.

    I too tried therapy without meds for years, finally my therapist was like do you hear voices (don’t know why she asked this) and I answered yes so i got a referal to a psychiatrist. I hate meds and my illness tells me I don’t need them that i’m just lazy that, that episode wasn’t that bad you could’ve left your house if you wanted to. even though i really couldn’t, because i thought bugs were spying on me for aliens and ghosts were fucking with me but they are actually aliens, and everyone was a spy out to get me, So i now get an injection once a month so i have no choice. I also take lamicital which if i don’t take it i’ll get the worse hangover ever.

    But i wanted to say I think you’re a good person, and that’s why i continue to follow you I think i relate not in the same way, but i always enjoy tabletop and what you have to say.and I recently rewatched TNG it came out when i was 9 months old so i grew up with it i remember loving geordi but being terrified of wharf as a little kid. now I love wharf and my favorite is Data. I like all the characters including weasley.

    sorry for the long post i understand if you don’t read so TLDR: I relate, I fucked up, Mental illness does lie, and I like tabletop and TNG

31. I watched you grow up, grew up alongside (I’m about ten years ahead of you), saw the Tiger Beat and the commercials. My childhood was so different, grew up severely restricted and punished and hung onto books and TV to keep other worlds alive in my head to believe in. Seeing a kid play a serious role on a serious space show (vs Lost in Space) was huge, wished I’d had that inspiration at a younger age. You. Helped. My. Head. in that role. It was worth it for me. I’ve spent years dealing with my own depression, and I couldn’t be more proud of you for coming out and dealing head on these last few years, living so publicly, inspiring so many other people. It’s been painful watching at times, especially finding out after Eureka how difficult auditions have always been for you, and THAT HELPS ME. It’s all worth it. I’m trying to learn from you and turn that over into sharing, and helping other people come out and share. I believe the more we share, the more we’re helping others, and you are clearly a front runner in the new social media sharing the real stuff honestly. We’ve come so far from child actors in 50s Hollywood being reprimanded for revealing and dying early, but the woods are thick and dark and we’re all still finding our way out. Looking to entertainment for inspiration becomes so much deeper when we look behind the scenes and see even more inspiration that we can apply to our own real lives. You are amazing and very brave, your family is amazing, and I am thankful to have actual real life role models hacking through the jungle ahead of me. <3

32. Thank you for sharing! It is hard when you make a list of goals for yourself, but real life doesn’t cooperate. And is equally as hard to step back and think, “Ok, that didn’t happen, but look what did happen. How great is that?” I’m glad that you are able to give depression the middle finger and keep doing what you do anyway. I’m a total fangirl of the audiobooks you have narrated, your writing and your acting. I also really like how you encourage friends and families to set time aside on a regular basis to play games together. You are an inspiration.

33. It was very helpful to me to hear you talking- and even laughing!- about depression. Knowing that other people have this problem and are able to lead productive, useful, mostly happy lives is very encouraging. Thank you!

34. Wil, I watched you on TNG when I was young and liked your character, I was sorry you left that show but understand your reasons.

    Now as a mature adult, I watched you on YouTube deliver some fantastic and wise advice to someone who was being teased by bullies for being a geek.

    Life is a journey, you are still on it, you are not the same person you were last year or the year before that – we all keep learning and growing. Try not to let the past weigh you down.

    As for practical advice: have you tried CBT? A good book is “Mind over Mood” by Pedesky et al. Do all the worksheets.

    My last advice is to make sure you unplug from the online world every so often. You seem a wise person with a family so I’m sure you do that anyway. We should all live life in balance.

35. So the reason you’re my hero, Wil, is not because your acting career has been a non-stop, meteoric rise from titular role to titular role, but because you struggle. And you share that. And it hurts. And you share that, too. And then you keep at it.

    You’re a good father, and a good man, and that shines through in your writing. You have such a gift, Wil.

    How I see you doesn’t matter, in the end. How you see you, does. But when I read the line, “he sees himself primarily as a failed actor,” my immediate reaction was, “no, that’s how Wil’s depression sees Wil. Wil knows that he’s a good father and a good man, he knows that he’s a success and is celebrated the world over. Wil’s depression, on the other hand, knows a bunch of shit that isn’t true, because depression lies.

    My message to you, Wil Wheaton, who struggles, and hurts, and shares, and keeps at it: Thank you. You help me so goddamned much.

    My message to Wil’s depression: get. fucked.

36. Wil – thanks for this. I get it. The monster that tells lies is so much easier to believe sometimes. Don’t believe the lies. I know I’m often surprised that I think of myself one way only to find out that my friends and family see someone totally different. You be you and when the monster rears its ugly head summon your inner kaiju and kick that monsters a$$.

37. Hi Will, I get it. I am a painter, and even though people tell me I have a lot of talent, everything I do is trash in my eyes. I have wasted 30 years of my life as a blue collar worker, i retire next year at 49. I will work on my MFA and my art. I suffer from depression, and I always have, but I found Stoicism. And I live my life based on a philosophy, it isn’t a cure, but it helps me over the dark times. Take care. I know advise is bullshit, but even bullshit is fertilizer sometimes. A guide to the good life. William B. irvine.

38. You make a difference! Thank you and it was one of the best episodes so far!

39. Wil, I know it’s been said repeatedly, but thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story. I keep my depression hidden from most people in my life, including family (my mom actually told me “well everybody gets depressed, you just have to pull yourself out of it” they don’t understand and I don’t have the energy or desire to explain it. It is nice to know that someone else understands. Thank you for your bravery in revealing such a personal part of your life.

40. Wil, if you haven’t already done so, I urge you to go and watch the movie “Florence Foster Jenkins.” It’s not just that Meryl Streep, Hugh Grant and Simon Helberg are AWESOME in the movie (Helberg was nominated for a Golden Globe). If a guy who inspired viewers through his work on “Stand By Me” (and who was sometimes a better actor than his writers could handle on ST:TNG) can think of himself as a “failed actor” then you need to take a look at Florence Foster Jenkins. She truly STUNK in the area of her life’s greatest passion, but she persevered and found happiness doing what she loved.

    Yes, even if you STINK as an actor, you can make the choice to find happiness in your work. But, guess what? YOU DON’T STINK! You aren’t a “failed actor.” You aren’t even a “has been.” You’ve been typecast because you were FUCKING GOOD AT WHAT YOU DID, and you are now working to break free of that. That’s all. Furthermore, as William Fucking Shatner so famously intoned (talk about a Florence Foster Jenkins situation): “Has been, MIGHT AGAIN!” There is every reason to think that your best work is yet ahead of you, but acting is a hard profession even for those who don’t have a couple of major childhood breakthroughs behind them as you do.

    Depression lies. You know this. Now take your meds and go do something awesome, Mr. Wheaton!

41. I’m not that much younger than you, Wil. Just enough younger that I looked up to Wesley Crusher, from the beginning. I had never seen Stand By Me, despite knowing all the cultural beats and having read the novella. I watched it last night. I thought you were the best part of it. I have gone through some bouts of depression, and they were never when other, non-depressed people “thought they should be.” Whatever the fuck that means. Thank you for this.

42. Wil, I started reading your site about 6 years ago when my husband re-introduced me to Star Trek and we want watched TNG from cover to cover. I got curious about your character and then what happened to you as an actor, and then before I knew it was reading your site and getting insights into your life: the ups, the downs and everything in between. I went back to the beginning of your blog and started reading from the beginning (you even got me with an April fools joke years after the fact!) and what struck me as wonderful was how open, honest and down to earth you were to all of us strangers on the internet.

    I was (and remain) very impressed with the person that you are: your moral integrity, your passion for life, your devotion to your family and how you conduct yourself. You’ve had a roller coaster of a life (as many have) but be proud of the wonderful man that you are and the example you set for so many others.

    Keep being you and inspiring the rest of us to be better people!

43. You aren’t a failed actor – you outgrew the “nerdy kid” niche and they didn’t know what to do with you after that. This wasn’t your fault, but who in their mid-late teens are able to look at that at all objectively? Plus having anxiety and depression creeping up? That’s when mine started too, though I didn’t have the same pressures you had. I’m so very pleased you have done as well as you have with other creative outlets, and that you’ve got such a lovely family to boot.

    That doesn’t make depression and anxiety suck any less, but keeping a sense of humor at the better times about it is HUGE for me.

44. Fuck. Is that my story you told? I think it is. Well. Everything minus the child actor stuff. Sub acting for designing and it’s basically the same.
    First relatable story I’ve heard. Things seem slightly less on fire now.

45. That was a great podcast. I’ve never listened to one before but I saw the link posted on your facebook. I have a lot of friends that are dealing with changes in medication, depression, and I have generalized anxiety disorder myself. This made me feel not alone. Also, you told even more interesting stories I hadn’t heard before or read in your books/blog. Now I’m going to go look for more podcasts. Please list some if you have time that are interesting and funny like this one. It helped me get through boring spreadsheets at work and I have a lot more to do. So thank you!!

46. Thank you so much for all that you said. It made me feel afraid and less alone and more like trusting my instincts and less like listening to depression.

    In my life, lots of times I’ve thought to myself, “I would really like a Thing. It would make me feel better.” I look for the Thing. If I don’t find it, and it’s within my abilities, sometimes I make the Thing. And sometimes I can’t make the Thing. So I hug the idea of the thing to me until the day I can make it, or the day someone else makes it for me. I keep it secret to keep it safe; I tell no one.

    I like Shakespeare on the stage a whole lot. I have seen some wonderful actors do wonderful things. It feels good all the way down to the soles of my feet when an Shakespearean actor surprise me with some choice they’ve made in the role, as happened this summer when I saw a Juliet completely new to me.

    A Thing I would love to make, and can’t, is a production of Othello with the part of Iago played by, um, Wil Wheaton. I know you would delight but more importantly surprise practically all of us. (Probably not your actual friends, who genuinely know you, but those of us who only know that part of you that you share publicly.) I think I would see an Iago completely new to me.

    But that’s the Thing I would love. I hope you do the Thing that you will love. In the meantime, thank you for the assurance you let me find within myself when I hear you speak from the heart about anxiety and depression.

47. As a girl who is mildly autistic and has anxiety, thank you for sharing. A lot of people don’t understand what its like to be in my head. I feel like I am not smart enough or good enough some days, so I really get what you feel. You are an amazing person who is so brave to put your struggles out there.

    Star Trek, but in particular TNG, has helped in so many ways. When I was a kid, I was like Wesley Crusher. Well, not quite that smart, but I related more to adults than kids, wanted affrimation for my talents constantly, and would show off at times. I was not good at being a kid, but good at “being smart”. I would lie and overcompensate because I felt insecure. Heck, all that stuff can still apply today. I think Wesley was a little insecure also. People thought I was annoying, so when people say that they dislike Wesley as a character, it can feel a bit personal. He and Data are my favorite characters in TNG. Being autistic, I idenitied with Data because he tried so hard to be a person, but never achieved that. I wanted to be “a normal girl” a lot but never could. But the crew accepted Data, and he even had friends. “The First Duty” hits home for me because Wesley got caught up in peer pressure that led to some bad decisions. Peer pressure affects me a lot because I still have thoughts that I am not normal and not good enough. Wesley grew as a character, and so did I. Wil, know that your acting impacted me as a person and helped a scared nervous girl who denined even having autism transform into a more confident young woman who is better than anxiety and is proud of both her autism and her geekiness. Thank you.

    And by the way, Wesley Crusher was the first boy I ever thought was attractive. Just to let you know.

48. One of the things that has helped me deal with Imposter Syndrome is knowing how many very successful people are also dealing with it, so thank you so much for being open about it. I could win a Pulitzer Prize, though, and I’m sure I’d believe that it was being mocked as the year they just gave it to any old person.

    On another note, I’m very late to the party, but I only just watched Leverage (I do love heists), and you were an absolute delight.

49. Wil,

    Thank you for sharing your struggles with depression. I too suffer from clinical depression, have for nearly 25 years now. If it weren’t for medication and a therapist I would be a mess. Also, I was diagnosed almost 6 years ago with Asperger’s Syndrome, PDD NOS and ADHD. Your character of Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation saw me through some really tough times as a teenager, as I am around the same age range as yourself. For someone who thinks he is a ‘failed actor’, you are anything BUT that. You have achieved some really great roles in film and television. Never, ever give up. Keep on keeping on, my friend.

50. I don’t know whether this is a valid measure of your success, but I know a lot of people who wish they were Wil Wheaton.

    Maybe another measure of your success could be the number of lives you’ve touched in a positive way.

    Or the fact that you are happily married to a beautiful woman and you’re both still in love.

    Ahh, but the thing about depression is you could be as successful in show biz as Clint Eastwood (to pick a name) and as successful in life as Mother Teresa (to pick another name), and your depression will still tell you that you’re a failure in your chosen profession, that your life is a wreck, and that your future is bleak and painful. Stupid depression. It’s a vicious beast.

    I know it’s lame to simply tell you to “hang in there”, but hang in there. You’re doing great so far. Thank you for everything you’ve done, for being so open with (parts of) your life, and for giving hope to others who suffer from depression.

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