A little over fifteen years ago, I started writing a blog. I loved lifting the curtain on my personal life and sharing what was going on as I learned how to be a father, handled a vindictive ex-husband who exhausted my family while he tried to hurt my wife (not caring that he was doing a lot of collateral damage to my then step-kids at the same time), and about my almost-daily struggles to figure out why I had a once-promising acting career that had stalled out and wasn’t going anywhere.
I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words since then, not just in my blog, but in books and for places I was honored and privileged to contribute to, like Suicide Girls and the AV Club. Over the last year or so, I’ve put about 71000 words into the manuscript of my first novel, and I’ve wasted far, far, far too much time on Twitter.
I really hate Twitter. It was once promising, and I feel like it still does some good, but on balance, it enables harassment and evil and cruelty at least as much if not more than it helps things change for the better. I feel like it has broken our society, and wrecked our social contract. I feel like the board at Twitter, and its CEO, Jack Dorsey, know this, but they’re too busy profiting from their inaction to care. May history judge them all the way they deserve.
I’ve been thinking about how bad Twitter has become, and how I can’t imagine asking people to follow me there like I did when it started so long ago. I’ve been thinking about how angry and sickened I am by the Fascist who is currently occupying the presidency, and the people he has surrounded himself with who enable and encourage him and his hateful conduct that goes against everything America has always represented to the world (except for the shameful and indefensible parts of our history, like slavery, Jim Crow, and Internment).
I’ve been thinking about how I want to tell silly and even hearfelt stories in my blog. I’ve been thinking about how I want to share how wonderful my kids were on Father’s Day, (which they know I don’t care about) when they took me out to lunch and ice cream anyway, because it was an excuse to be together. I want to write about how much I love my daughter in law, and how happy she makes my son. I’ve been thinking about how I want to write about how grateful I am that, even though my kids are 28 and 26, and not children at all anymore, they still want to spend time with me. I want to write about how great it feels to know that all the suffering we all went through when they were young didn’t affect our family in the way it was designed to. I want to celebrate that the worst person in the world, who made our lives a living hell, is relegated to a rarely-remembered footnote in our family’s history, who is living the life he deserves. I don’t write about these things, now, because they are deeply personal, and I don’t feel like it’s aways necessary or even smart to pull the curtain back on my life, or the lives of my family.
And yet … I will write about something personal, real quick, because it’s a story I’ve wanted to tell for almost ten years:
Ryan was 19, and was home between semesters of college. He’d had a real difficult year while he was adjusting to school and being away from home, and his mom and I were doing everything we could to support him while he went through a challenging growth phase.
I had just bought this laser star projector from Think Geek, and I wanted to show him how cool it was to spray little green points of light across the ceiling of our living room, and just lay there, watching them drift around.
So we turned off the lights, stretched out on the floor, and did just that. The house was quiet, and the only sound was the soft whirr of the fan inside the projector.
We imagined constellations, and named them, but were mostly quiet, too, until Ryan, still looking up at our imaginary planetarium, said, “So I’ve been thinking about something…”
“Oh?” I said, “What’s that?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about how I am who I am because of you. I love science fiction and literature because you introduced it to me when I was little. I care about people because you taught me to be empathetic. You have always been more of a dad to me than my dad ever was … and I was hoping that you’d make it official, and adopt me.”
One of the laser points of light drifted across the ceiling, like a shooting star. I watched it and tried to process what I had just heard. Ryan’s dad had spent his entire childhood trying to convince Ryan to reject me. He wasted their whole lives to that point trying to make them pick sides in a battle that neither one of my kids wanted to be part of. At times, it felt like he was going to be successful, and a day would come when the children I did not make, but did raise as if they were my own, would never speak to me again.
And now, a day had come that I always dreamed of, but never actually expected to happen.
“Is that okay?” He asked. I didn’t realize that I’d been quiet for close to a minute, while I was trying to process that this was real, that this was really happening. I didn’t realize that tears were streaming out of the corners of my eyes, down the sides of my face, and pooling in my ears.
“Ryan, I would be honored to adopt you,” I said, thickly.
“Is it okay if I change my name, too?” He asked.
The tears turned to joyful sobs, and I told him that I would love that.
It took months, and a lot more complicated paperwork that you’d probably expect for an adult adoption, but we eventually found ourselves in the same courthouse his soon to be out of our lives forever biodad had dragged us into for years. In the same place I had to listen to lies about me and my wife and our relationship with our boys, we stood up in front of a judge, my godmother (who came all the way to Pasadena to be part of it), his mom and brother, and a couple of close friends, and we swore that we wanted to legally become father and son. Years later, I got to do the same thing with Nolan, who didn’t choose a poetic moment under imaginary stars to ask (he isn’t a writer, like Ryan is) but asked me during lunch at Comic-con! Both days were the sort of thing I would have rushed home to write about when they were young, but I kept it just for me and my family, until now, and not just because I wanted to respect their privacy as adults.
These are the stories that I miss telling, because these are the stories that don’t just make me happy, but are the stories that I believe can resonate with readers.
Like, right now, I am here to tell my fellow stepparents that you are doing a wonderful thing, being a loving and supportive parent to your kids, whether they share your DNA and name or not. (In fact, for the first 15 years we were together, I told the boys that they were Wheatons in everything but name, and if they didn’t want to take that step, I respected that. I would love them no matter what.) I remember how hard it was to not take the bait when their biodad would tell them some outrageous lie about Anne and me, and instead just tell them that I was sorry they had to hear that, and remind them that I loved them no matter what. I hope that by sharing the story of my son asking me to officially become his father, a stepparent somewhere who is having a hard time, or a stepchild who is wondering if they can ask about adoption, will feel a little less alone and afraid.
Shitty people like to try and hurt me by saying that I raised someone else’s kids, like that’s somehow a dishonorable thing. I feel genuinely sad for those people, if they truly believe that, but when they’re just being cruel, I honestly don’t really care what some asshole stranger on the Internet thinks about my relationship with the people I love.
Which brings us back to Twitter. I took it off my phone months ago, because I didn’t need to give my time and energy to garbage humans whenever I had a free moment. I turned my mentions off a couple weeks ago, because even though I’m blocking over 25000 accounts, new shitty people are popping up every hour of every day, and taking advantage of their ability to reach into my life and try to hurt me. It sucks to miss the fun stuff, the “yes and” to my dumb jokes and puns, and the interactions with good and kind people that I’ve absolutely loved since I created by account. But as I wrote recently, unless and until Twitter takes harassment and all its systemic problems seriously, it causes more harm and unhappiness than anything else. It’s not you, good and kind people, it’s me. And it’s Twitter. But we all know that, don’t we?
I have work to do. I have stories to tell. I have a wife and children and pets to spend my time with. I have a lot of deeply personal things happening in my life right now, that I have no intention of talking about. I have people in my life who are far more important to me than Twitter or blogging.
I have been trying to quit Twitter for close to two years, but I can’t, because being there is important to people who want to work with me. I can’t because part of me holds out some desperate hope that it will get better. I can’t because there are three million people there who seem to care about what I do in this world, and it’s really stupid to abandon them, when I have creative projects coming up that I think they want to know about.
But my God, people, Twitter is broken and it’s destroying our ability to see the humanity in each other. I know that I am guilty in that regard, but you’ll have to forgive me for how much I hate Nazis.
See? I did it again.
I know that this website started out as an unfiltered view into my world, but I’m old now. My kids are grown. The people I work with read it, and my employers are giving me increasingly restrictive agreements to sign before I can work with them, which I kinda need to do to support my family. I’m not going to be able to go back to the way things were, because the world has changed so much, but maybe that’s for the best, because time I don’t spend here is time that I can spend in my imagination, writing the stories that I want to write, that I hope you want to read.
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Much love
You’re an amazing person, and always have been. Much love and respect to you and your family.
More love
Di te so poche cose, Wil, ma mi bastano per capire che sei una bella persona. Ti ammiro per ciò che hai fatto (ho sempre amato Wesley Crusher!) e per quello che fai.
Hai anche ottimo gusto in fatto di donne, perché Ann è una bella donna e una persona intelligente e simpatica
Hai ragione, c’è tanta gente gente cattiva in giro. Non cedere, tieni duro e continua a essere la brava persona che sei e a fare ciò che ti rende felice.
Con affetto ❤️
Annalisa
“Di TE SO poche cose”. Scusa, è un errore di digitazione. Tasti piccoli e dita grosse …
Non parlo o leggo italiano, ma ho usato Google Translate per leggere il tuo commento. Spero che questo si traduca correttamente, e mi scuso se sto mancando di rispetto alla tua lingua. Grazie per la tua gentilezza.
Con affetto ❤️
Google ha funzionato bene 😊
🌹
This post made my day. Thank you for sharing your experience with your kids, it was wonderful.
Thanks for sharing, Wil. I wish you love and peace😊
I absolutely get it. Back in the early days, Twitter was wonderful. I even met my husband thanks to Twitter & the community it created. But now, it’s so toxic & depressing. I rarely go there any more & when I do, I instantly regret it. I wish they actually cared about what they’re doing to society as a whole, but it’s ovviously all about the almighty dollar. I’m pretty much done with it & it makes me sad. I made some incredible connections through twitter & to see how low it’s become is depressing AF.
I met my husband in Mexico only to find out later that we followed each other on MySpace!
And resonate they shall. Thank you. Keep doing exactly this.
Damnit Wil, you sure have a way with words. Thank you for continuing to connect with your followers wherever you feel like you can, and it does good. It means a lot to the (mostly) silent majority who appreciate the beautiful human you are.
Thank you. I understand you. This made my day too.
I don’t do Twitter or much Facebook, but your blog is one of a select few permanently on my reader. I’m just a middle-aged white suburban dad (who grew up with Star Trek) and I appreciate your honesty and exploration of your journey.
I’ll take whatever little you have to share with us, and be grateful. <3
Powerful post. I don’t even have the words yet to articulate my thoughts. This reminded my of why Twitter and Social Media used to be so good: the ability to connect with artists we admire, connection through shared experiences, feeling less alone in your struggles, lifting up tribe members you’ve never even met IRL, learning about fun new things and bringing awareness to charities and grassroots organizations. Thank you for sharing your experiences as a stepparent. Being a stepparent is playing the long game. You give all your love and patience with the hope that once the dust settles that child will be able to see you clearly, confident in the knowledge that it is okay to love you back. We have to let go of our own ego and fears of unreturned love. The love between a stepparent and stepchild is an act of choice and it is a powerful, beautiful thing.
I understand the problem of wanting to quit something one has a toxic relationship with, e.g twitter. I guess the best I can say is to try not to take the bait that arguably lousy people make. While one can feel the righteous need to call people trash-humans or garbage, it gives energy to the drive to be constantly angry. And its not really condusive to positive change. You being the person that has motivated me to try to be positive online, it feels slightly ironic, knowing that on an intellectual level you probably feel something similar. Still, hoping that all people with emotions try to encourage each other to be as kind as possible.
Gotten rather messed up with the nazis though, hasn’t it.. Makes the “make love, not war” rather more complicated.
You will always be one of my very few rolemodels:P
A time to be thankful I’m a small little “nobody” and can still use Twitter with my own little bubble of online friends for good times. I can totally understand how for anyone of note it just becomes a huge drag down into the very worst humanity has to offer.
Thank you Wil for being there back in the early days when everything was just the right side of nice, and for always being as open and honest with us as you could.
We’ll be here waiting for your future endeavours and you will always be loved.
Stay strong and know this, those of us who agree with you and love that you raised those men to respect others. Also know this, the fanaticism, that is those idiotic extremist groups, will be a small footnote in history. We have the love of our families and have far more educated understanding, caring and empathetic souls, that they will never possess.
.
I agree with you 100%! I was tempted to say 150%, but I suspect the nerd in both of us would rebel at that! 🙂 I LOVE all you have to say and do! Keep on keepin’ on!!! I send wishes for your happiness!!!
The stories that you share have moved me more than I am capable of putting into words. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. I’m not on twitter, but I see the things you post on facebook, and hope you will keep it up.
I had no idea that your sons’ biological father was so poisonous. It is a miracle that you and your family stayed alive and sane. Thank you for sharing such personal stories. While I understand depression and anxiety way more than I want to, your battles give me confidence and hope.
Wil, thanks for sharing, and thanks for sharing about sharing. There is really no exigency for you to tell us anything about your life, but that you do is a privilege for all of us. If you need to reduce your output here in favour of being more creative elsewhere, I’d say definitely do that, as long as [engage selfish fan mode] we get to view the fruits of your labours [disengage the mode, DISENGAGE THE MODE!]. You’ve evolved in an immeasurable number of ways since you’ve been posting online, and it’s been – and continues to be – an honour to evolve alongside you.
I hear you, Wil. And I agree with you. I find it baffling and very sad that the ‘social platforms’ that were created to bring people together have actually created hate filled environments. And we know from various reports that the software used is intentionally programmed to program the user (us).
I, too, appreciate you and your posts. They bring a smile more often than you might think.
I always thought you raising Ryan and Nolan was an honourable thing which I told you on Twitter before I stopped following you and Anne and she blocked me (long story, ask her if you want to but I doubt she’ll remember). They are all lucky to have you in their lives. A love like you have with Anne and the boys is a rare thing.
I’m a father of four. Two just happen to be cursed with my genetics. I’ve never had quite as negative of an experience with their genetic donors as you have, I have a good friend who has, and I’ve tried to be supportive to her.
Thank you for the words. They gave me a couple of Stepdad-related spoons that I wouldn’t have otherwise had.
Also, are you on Mastodon? I hear there are a lot of Twitter expats there.
Wil,
Thank you a million times over for all that you’ve shared. I’ve been a silent reader and have justed started commenting, I’m sorry I had not raised my voice sooner to try and drown out the negativity that seems to have grown exponentially in the last year and one half. Enjoy your life, this person is thankful for the words you have shared. I look forward to reading your next work.😁🐈
As a step-mom your story made me teary-eyed. I personally have the luxury of forgetting about my Twitter account, but I’m in no way immune to the problems you speak about. I see them all the time and it doesn’t bother me any more that I keep forgetting about Twitter.
Always do what you have to and give what you can.
Wil, I’m nearing 50, and I have watched you grow as a performer and a person for my entire adult life (finding out that you voiced one of the children in my absolute favorite Don Bluth film, The Secret of NIMH, was a particular pleasure). I admire and applaud you for everything you have done, especially for the candor that you have when talking about your life and your family. Blessings on you and yours, and keep being the amazing husband, father, writer, actor, and man that you were always destined to become.
This is a wonderful entry, a beautiful story. My mother was adopted & my maternal grandparents, especially my maternal grandmother, were the only people I never doubted loved me unconditionally. For those people to say anything negative about raising kids that didn’t share your DNA was cruel & stupid. I met my biofam on my mother’s side. My true grandparents (the adoptive ones) were amazingly good ppl, the biofam: not so much.
I share your frustration with Twitter. It’s toxic & doesn’t need to be. I agree with you on every point about Twitter. I do hope it will get better, but the block function has been my best friend since the day after Election Day 2016, when I first got death threats from overjoyed Trumpsters.
It sounds like you’re not quitting for good, and in my own selfishness, I’m glad, I love your tweets & the couple of rare times we’ve interacted. But I couldn’t blame you if you did quit Twitter. I’ve thought about doing so myself a lot. I only keep my FB acct open bc my sister posts lots of pix of my niece and nephew there, and I don’t see them as often as I’d like.
Wil, I am so proud that you speak out about the stupidity and hate coming not just from 45, but from his enablers and regrettably, his supporters. It’s 1930’s Germany all over again except the whole world is cringing from this horror. Thankfully people like you and other writers have made a point of showing that not all of America embraces that kind of evil and that we the majority are trying to combat it. If you want to go off Twitter, do it because you haven’t been driven off but because more bad then good is coming from it. I only go on Twitter for Len and JD, for the good people of TVG who speak out on all subjects, for Seth McFarland and Tom Everett Scott and other like minded and generous people. Just know that you are enough.
Thanks Wil for making the world a better place. I’m sure your honesty and openness have helped and meant a lot to many people.. they did me. 🤟
This got me right in the feels. I have followed your blog for many years and your Twitter for fewer, and your personal stories are some of my favorite blog posts, but this story about your kids has me legit crying.
You’ve influenced me as a parent in many ways. My kids LOVE BOARD GAMES mostly because of you. We’ve spent a few road trips listening to you read Ready Player One. You geeked out over their 10th Doctor cosplays at AwesomeCon 2017 and took their picture – which basically was the highlight of my life. Whenever I think I’m a bad mom, I remember that for 10 seconds Wil Wheaton thought I was doing parenting right and I feel a little better about myself.
All that to say – we love you! But in the end, you don’t OWE us (fans) your presence or your energy. Your family and friends (and employers I guess!) are the only ones who actually get to have an opinion on how you spend your time. And if you need to step back even more from Twitter, we’ll pick up the slack and yell at more Nazis for you!
This post gives me a lot of feels and I don’t know how well I can express them, but I’ll try.
I started following your blog over 15 years ago, when a friend told me “You know the actor Wil Wheaton? He has a blog and I think you’d really like it. He’s funny, he’s nerdy, he’s honest.” And you were all of those things. My favorite posts were about your stepsons and your experiences raising them with their mom, your wife, Anne, in part because my own parents divorce was a difficult one and my dad tried very hard to drive a wedge between my mom, my brother, and me while I was growing up. Those posts became increasingly touching and relevant to me when I started dating a woman with a daughter, got married, and became the daughter’s adopted father (not legally adopted, legally a stepfather, but in our hearts, I was her dad and she was my daughter, full stop). I don’t know if you remember–I don’t expect you to with all of the people you’ve met at all of the conventions you’ve been to–but the first time I met you in person was when you came to Kansas City for Planet Comicon back when it was a smaller, more personal event, before Anne had gotten on Twitter and she and I had become friends. I brought my daughter, who was in high school at the time, with me to the con and when we got to your table, I introduced myself and her and told you briefly about how we’d adopted each other. It was really important to me that I got to tell you that in person because I felt that, like me, you had been adopted by your stepchildren as a father as much as you’d adopted them as sons, and that’s a powerful, magical thing.
The story of you legally adopting them as adults inspired me to ask my daughter, now a college senior, if she’d want me to legally adopt her, because it would mean a lot to me, and we’ve agreed that if we can deal with the paperwork and costs, we’ll do it. I didn’t even know you could adopt a stepchild as an adult, but I’m very glad I do now.
I just commented this to Anne on her blog, and now I’ll say it to you: You and Anne are two of the kindest, most generous, encouraging people I’ve met. I hate seeing that goodness poisoned by the toxicity of Twitter. You need to take care of you, you need to live your best life. So…love to you and all my support to whatever you choose to do.
Thank you for sharing such a wonderful moment and allowing us a glimpse into your heart. ☺️❤️
Thank you for writing here.
Anne recently posted a video of Marlowe’s tail thumping the couch and it was very enjoyable for me at a shitty time. I had forgotten about it until trying to find something of comfort to say to you just now. So thanks, again, for sharing your pets with us. I have such awful allergies that I can’t have any myself. Your family puts out so much good into the world.
Wil, thank you for continuing to share parts of yourself. Genuine matters more than if I always agree with you. Sharing personal details like the story in this post is appreciated. I’ve bought your non-fiction stuff, and I watch your movie and TV roles. I look forward to being able to read your fiction. If you and Scalzi would just find a way to get into a Postmodern Jukebox video shoot my main internet likes would all collide. 😉 Cheers!
Wil, for the gazillion dick’s out there, remember that there are folks like me and others here that truly appreciate what you do, who you are, and the content like RFB that you put into the world. It’s work and it’s hard to avoid the naysayer’s and trolls; but listen man, you’re a positive influence in this world and obviously to your family (it got a little dusty in here reading your post), and to the others you touch both directly or indirectly. Never lose that!
I have read your blog from the beginning. (I sent you the Trek murder mystery game.) And I have always felt that it was a huge honor and privilege to get a glimpse into your life. It’s been great seeing you develop as a writer, and your life blossom with new friends and great experiences. I have taken solace in knowing that I am not alone in being alarmed at modern politics. If something no longer serves you appropriately, move on. You’ve fought the good fight on Twitter, but if the powers that be won’t do anything to curtail the tsunami of embarrassingly bad behavior, abandon it. (I left years ago.) As long as this blog adds value to your life, I will keep reading it. Just know that you have friends all over the world who have enjoyed traveling alongside you. Whatever happens, we hope for only the best for you and your family.
Your post made my day. I am unmarried yet have been fully accepted by my longtime partner’s family. We are also working on adopting kids from foster care. Our blood relatives are self-absorbed whirlpools of drama and disappointment, so we identify strongly with the “kiddos” (an uncomfortably overused term in the child welfare culture) who need to heal through relationships…relationships with people like us, who simply accept them as they are, warts and trauma and “other people’s kids”-ness and all. The reactions of people when you say you’re going to adopt can be pretty shocking and judgmental, especially if you are not adopting as a last resort. Like you, we’ve had to just shrug it off and be confident that we know we are on the high ground; better to have a family built on love among people who want to be together, than one built on obligations to navigate toxic relationships with self-absorbed people we happen to share DNA with.
Re: Twitter, it was once regarded as microblogging, the inevitable direction that public long-form blogging was already headed: shorter, faster, more-in-the-moment, and inevitably less thoughtful. Just as on Facebook, the feed of minimal posts from those you follow (and further comments from those you don’t) became a tantalizing “conversation” we were encouraged to keep going at all costs. But rather than the kind of civil, contemplative dialogue that long-form venues produce, these public outlets encourage and seem to demand an endless, rapidfire chain of performative reactions. It’s to the point where every aspect of modern culture, especially among the young, is based on quickly broadcasting a provocative reaction to whatever is in front of us in the moment. No one lets anything go unresponded to, for no one seems to think it’s worth expressing a thought if it doesn’t elicit a deluge of high fives, outrage, and everything in between. Teens also communicate on their phones now in a kind of snapshot-and-text meta-shorthand on par with Darmok and Jilad at Tanagra—emoticons and chat-room LOL-speak are now the quaint vestiges of a bygone era, the lingua franca of old parents trying too hard to sound hip. When given the opportunity to produce something longer, all we get now are 30-minute “reaction videos” on YouTube, always ending with a plea for comments and further reactions, and oh yeah, more subscribers/followers.
Sure, there has always been a performative element to writing for an audience, even in old-school long-form. But lamenting the fact that it’s getting harder to write things of substance in this culture just goes to show that you’re one of the good ones. You have millions of real readers for a reason. Cut the Twitter leash, and keep writing the good stuff, the personal stories (embellished or not), the heartfelt sentiments. You’re not the only one hungry for a change and a return to civility, but it ain’t gonna happen on Twitter or Facebook or YouTube. Things are only going to get worse there, I’m afraid. I don’t know, I don’t have the answer, but just want to give you some encouragement. You’re doing fine. More than fine. I envy you.
I want to say more, but the words keep getting wrapped around, so I’ll just say this: Thank you.
Wil, appreciate you so much. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I care about you and your experiences. Thank you for being a dad to your sons. 🙂
Yes, as others have written, much love
Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Thank you, as always, Wil (in my head I call you Uncle Wil. I hope you don’t mind.) for being as open and honest and outspoken as you are.
This country does NOT resemble the one you and I (because you’re only about 3-4 years older than I am) grew up in. The state I live in, have always lived in, doesn’t resemble the state I grew up loving and still love with every fiber of my big ol fat nerdy little goth heart. Seeing the prisoner camps (I can’t call them anything BUT that) on the news and how these kids are being forced to live breaks my fucking heart. Because WTF, world Seriously, what in the ever loving dog sniffing FUCK?
I have a 14 year old with autism and seeing things how they are now scares the pants off of me for his future. As much as certain things (like self driving cars and Elon Musk strapping a car to the front of a rocket and sending it into outer space) make me excited for that which is yet to come, I am also terrified every single day for the world my son is going to live in when his father and I are no longer around to care for him.
When shit gets too bad, I read old entries of your blog or I grab my Kindle and read “Just a Geek” or “Dancing Barefoot” or “Shit My Dad Says” by Justin Halpern. Those books remind me that no matter how bad shit gets, I will always have something that makes me smile. So thank you for your work.
May the Deity of your choice bless you.
Awesome post. I’ve been following ou for almost 15 years, and two subjects always caught my attention… your stories about your family, and the(now long past) stories about homebrewing. There’s too many decent people out here – don’t let the others get to you.
Beyond keeping your priorities, please, publish your novel. (Okay, that’s been a third subject that always caught my eye. I have your other publications and really want to purchase this one too.)
Finally, a suggestion. This comes from a fellow (professional) geek who is probably old enough to be your father. (I’ve also never been on Twitter or Facebook, some for the same reasons as you’ve so eloquently stated.) One place I’ve thought of joining… and this is not an “affiliated” link… is https://micro.blog I didn’t support his Kickstarter project, but have followed Manton in getting this going (over his podcast) for what seems like 4 years now. It’s not completely free, but it seems to be a much more kinder Twitter. Maybe like from 6-7 years ago.
Wil, there’s a lot to unpack in your post, but I’m going to focus on one thing: There is no shame in raising children. It doesn’t matter whether they are “yours”, or “someone else’s”. They’re kids, they need people to show them how to survive in the world, and how to be actual human beings.
If anyone ever says otherwise, please try not to feel bad for yourself because it’s not a reflection on you. It’s a reflection on how broken that person is, and how they may not have had someone to show them the way.
I really, really know that it’s hard to remember that when fighting with depression and the bullshit that life throws at you, but please, please try!
❤️
Dear Will,
I’m new to blogging myself, therefore, I had no Idea you blogged. Its nice to see you in such a personal way…a person, human, vulnerable like the rest of us.
I don’t agree completely with your political view necessarily but because there is so much propaganda and spin thrown on every word out of anyones mouths for manipulation and agendas. I’m sure you’ve suffered plenty of that yourself in life. The truth is almost always found somewhere in the middle. It’s truly become an age of tearing others down.
I agree completely about twitter. Its become nothing more than a rant and troll platform. It was toxic and exhausting.
I’m a step-parent too and understand too well what you went through with the other parent. I’m so sorry you went through that…that your famiky went through it. It’s a noble thing to love anothers child as your own, to raise and care for them…to stand in the gap. I’m proud of you for being that guy.
Thank you for sharing. It’s a brave thing to open yourself up and show vulnerability.
Thank you very much for sharing your stories and of yourself.
I am so sorry that you cannot share as you once did. People just suck. I mean, there are loads of wonderful ones, of course. Far more wonderful ones than garbage ones. But the garbage ones stink so bad & unfortunately ignoring them doesn’t make the stench go away. I try to be one of the wonderful ones & treat others the way I want to be treated. It isn’t much, but it is what I can do, for now. One day very soon I hope to finally do more. In any case, I always love reading your words. And for the record, opening your heart & loving a child is always an amazing thing. Your sons are so blessed to have you, as you are to have them. There is the family we are born into & had no say in. Often, as in my case, we end up choosing to let them go. Then there is the family we make. That family is so precious because we choose them. My little family means everything to me. Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Have a wonderful weekend. 😊
I miss respectful debate more than anything else I can think of right now. That ability for people to say “I can understand why you might think that, I happen to disagree and this is why” rather than just throwing toxic words around or trying to tear “others” down to make them feel better about their beliefs. Its sad and scary and, in my opinion, more than a little bit inspired, enabled and encouraged by so-called social media in general and the current administration in particular. And, like you, Wil (although for vastly different reasons) I can’t seem to quit it.
I wish I shared the belief that it will get better, but I don’t. I don’t because Corporations are in charge now, not people or politicians. And Corporations care about only one thing: how to get your money and make it their money.
The bell has tolled, it cannot be un-rung and, unless something truly drastic happens, I fear this is the new reality.
To anyone who reads this,whether you agree with me or not, I say: Be well, live and love as much as you can, try to be that beacon of laughter and happiness you want to see, and take care of each other. Realize that there is no “them”, only “us” and, with any luck at all, our next leader will be an actual functioning adult.
Thank you Wil, for Wesley. I always admired you a lot there since I was inspired and felt like I could and should do more and I have done well in the years since then, but this really brings it to a whole new level. Thank you very much for sharing.
What tv show did Leonard Nimoy co-star in where the line ” I’m a doctor, not a miracle worker” originate?
A: Shenandoah. Western starring Robert Horton. A year before the first Star Trek episode.
I love you Wil Wheaton. What you shared about adopting your sons is so beautiful. Thank you for having the courage to tell that story. They are the children of your heart and it doesn’t make a difference how families come together it was meant to be. I was adopted to too but that doesn’t really matter, please keep doing what you do because it makes the world a better place to live in.