From the moment Star Trek Picard was announced, people asked me if Wesley Crusher would make an appearance. Until August of last year, I told the truth when I said that I would love to do that, but had no idea if it would actually happen. I’m pretty psyched that we were able to keep this secret as long as we did.
I want to take a minute and share why Wesley’s return to Star Trek is so deeply meaningful for me, why this is so much more than merely playing a fun cameo for two pages. I want to tell you what Wesley Crusher means to me, as an almost 50 year-old husband, father, and survivor.
I love Wesley Crusher. I cherish Wesley Crusher. I am fiercely proud of Wesley Crusher. It is an honor and a privilege to be the actor who played him. But that wasn’t always true. For far too long, I allowed my opinion of Wesley, and my opinion of myself, to be defined by others. And it hurt so much, I almost walked away from Star Trek entirely, just to get away from it.
Wesley’s fictional journey and my real life journey are remarkably similar. We were both incredibly smart kids who struggled to fit in with our peer group. Neither one of us had a relationship with our father (Wesley, because his father died when he was a baby, me because my father chose to be my bully instead of my dad). Both of us spent our entire lives on paths we did not choose, struggling every single minute of every single day to make the people who put us on that path proud of us. We both felt uncomfortable in our own skin, and ended up spending as much time in our intellect as we could, because that was a place that felt safe.
Our stories and paths diverge widely in our teens: he’s awkward and angsty, but genuinely loved and supported by the adults in his life, who encourage him to explore his interests. I’m awkward and angsty, but I’m invisible to my dad on a good day, and my mother does not see me. Instead, she only sees the kid from Teen Beat, and all the trappings that come with proximity to him that she can scrape up for herself. In my headcanon, Wesley felt alone because he didn’t get to regularly interact with kids his own age, and if his life mirrored my own at that time, a lot of kids he would have wanted to be friends with judged him before they knew him, because he was kind of famous. Let me tell you, when every room you walk into is filled with people who have already made up their mind about you before you even introduce yourself, you just stop walking into rooms. Or, at least, I did.
When Wesley saw his opportunity to forge his own path with the Travelers, his entire family supported him, they celebrated the end of one journey and the beginning of another. I did not get that support. When I was about 20 and left the series, followed quickly by leaving the entire entertainment industry, neither of my parents were there for me, at all. By this time in my life, my father had stopped trying to hide his contempt and disinterest for me, and my mother had essentially abandoned me to focus her energy on a friend of my sister’s, who was climbing the teen fame success ladder. My mom was always there when I was chasing her dream of acting fame, but when I needed a mom to help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life, she just did not show up at all. I was left entirely alone to try and figure out how to be an adult. It was terrifying. Luckily for me, when I was 23 I met the woman who would become my wife, and my journey toward discovering and realizing my dream began.
But let us go back to the moment when we each realized we were not on our paths, but someone else’s. Wesley and I both walked away from everything we knew, every expectation that was ever put on us, every person we ever cared about, because we both knew that something was not right in our lives, and if we were going to fix it, we had to figure out what it was. And to figure out what it was, we had to get off the paths we had been on since we were too young to know what a path even was.
Wesley was expected to be a Starfleet captain, or maybe a chief engineer. I was expected to be a famous film actor, or at least famous. We both accepted these expectations right until we didn’t. He got there before I did, but there was a moment when we both knew that we were pursuing dreams that were not ours, that they were more important to other people than they were to us. We needed time and space to find out who we were, and what our dream was.
When we had that time and space (or all of time and space, for Wesley), we could discover what was important to us, what we wanted to do with our lives and the time we had in this universe, who we were when we weren’t defining ourselves according to someone else’s expectations. During that time, I met more people than I can count who have told me how much Wesley means to them. They told me he inspired them, that they saw themselves in him at a time when they felt unseen by the people in their lives. They told me he helped them figure out what kind of person they wanted to choose for a partner in love and life.
For two decades I listened, while people told me the ways he was there for them. I never would have expected that he would also be there for me.
And yet.
Ron Moore wrote Wesley’s final episode, Journey’s End. Ron knew Wesley needed to do something different with his life. He knew that Starfleet wasn’t right for Wesley. He knew that Wesley couldn’t keep defining himself through someone else’s expectations. I don’t know if he knew that I also needed that (I didn’t even know it at the time), but like so many other people who watched Wesley’s story, I was inspired by Wesley’s courage and conviction. And I followed him out into the Great Unknown.
I was surprised to discover that as I got to know myself all over again for the first time, I also got to know Wesley. If Wesley could matter so much, to so many people, why couldn’t he matter that much to me, the actor who played him? It took a long time and a lot of work to find the answer to that question. I wrote a whole book about it, in fact. But what’s important is that much in the same way I had allowed myself to be defined by how I was measuring up to someone else’s expectations, I had allowed my relationship with Wesley Crusher to be defined the same way. And the end result of that was a lot of self-inflicted pain and sadness for me. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that around the same time I finally felt seen in the world, I was able to see Wesley the way so many others did. It was a lot of hard work, but it was worth it. I was, and am, worth it. Getting to know Wesley Crusher, to see him the way he was seen by the people who loved him, to love him the way he always deserved to be loved … you can see the parallels, right? Believe me, it was all worth it.
Wesley and Kore may blink out of existence and never come back on camera again. Or they might go literally anywhere through all of space and time, from Strange New Worlds to Discovery to Lower Decks (but not to season three of Picard. Sorry, nerds.). I honestly don’t know what comes next for them in canon, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t spent some time thinking about it.
I may get to tell more of Wesley’s story at some point – his journey over the last 25 or so years is something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about – as a writer or as an actor. Maybe both. But even if that never happens, if I never get to be Wesley Crusher on camera again, I will have the privilege of hosting The Ready Room, where I get to be a Starfleet veteran, a member of the exclusive “Legacy Star Trek” club, and an unashamed superfan who gets to take other nerds into the Room Where It Happens. I get to celebrate everything we all love about Star Trek in all its incarnations, for my job.
I love the life I’ve built for myself. I love and am intensely grateful for the place in Star Trek that belongs to me, as the actor who played Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher, who now plays The Traveler Formerly Known as Wesley Crusher, who is the host of The Ready Room.
I and Wesley will always be part of The Next Generation for the rest of our lives, and that would absolutely have been enough. The fact that we both get to be part of not just The Next Generation, but also part of the larger Star Trek universe, is a privilege and a gift that I will never take for granted.
We talk about how Star Trek is so inspiring when it shows us what’s possible, what we can achieve for ourselves when we work hard and work together with compassion and empathy for each other. For me it goes deeper than that, because finding love and compassion for Wesley Crusher allowed me to find love and compassion for myself.
Welcome home, Wesley. I missed you so much. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you.
I’m literally in the middle of reading “Still Just a Geek” right now and I couldn’t be happier to see you/Wesley in canon Trek again. Congrats on all your success- personal and professional alike. LLaP
I am in the middle of the book too, and it made this so special! So glad he’s back with his ST family, and can appreciate the love being sent his way!
I spent years watching Star Trek the next generation Wesley crusher was one of my favorite characters but when I heard about the abuse that will Weaton himself went through because his parents forced him in the acting I have to say I feel sorry for Wil Wheaton himself and I hope now that he’s older he has a better life good luck will Wheaton
Was fantastic to see you show up. That little recruitment speech made me want to see more of The Traveler formerly known as Wesley Crusher. I honestly think that could be a great series. The Travelers. Correcting time, helping people, telling jokes that change a 100 years of history.
Always enjoyed your characters, and saw you at Comic Expo in Calgary a few years back. Loved your energy and passion.
Same here. I’m working through the chapter covering Star Trek Nemesis which was still not the big farewell that Wesley deserved.
I was so excited to see you in Picard today. And can say almost cried as well.
I too love(d) Wesley and saw myself in him – smart, shy, missing a father who lied to me and abused me, unsure of my path. I pursued my own path, cut my father out of my life, and done well.
I started therapy over a year ago because of your podcast with Mayim Bialik. I just finished listening to Still Just a Geek and laughed, cried, and learned so much from it.
Thank you Wil and Wesley!
Never in my life have a ever cheered, shouted or just geeked out at any show or movie. I’ve always raised an eyebrow and basically mimicked Spock. “Fascinating.”
This episode though…Wil. Mr WW. Man of the hour. Light of our lives. Middle name “wholesome”. I cheered. I shouted. I geeked out. My bf was amused. I was elated. You showed up on screen and I couldn’t have been happier for you.
I’m not a father, but hot damn I am so damn proud and happy for you bud. Thank you for always being such a wonderful human and a brilliant Traveler.
You absolutely Crushed it. Pun lovingly intended, as I’m sure you’ve seen it before.
~Bear
I’m so glad this cameo happened. I’m one of the people to whom Wesley meant a lot and I remember being thrilled when I stumbled upon your website during undergrad. It was like finding out the kid you’d liked back in middle school all grown up and still a great person. I really wish you’d had more support yourself as a kid. You deserved that.
It’s funny. Just yesterday, I thought of asking you (if I ever saw you in person), what you would feel if it were revealed at some point that Travellers were actually baby Q. Then I saw the episode, and laughed out loud. Close enough!
I haven’t seen the episode, but Travellers seen much more mature than Qs.
It was a great surprise to see you show up, Wil, as The Traveler.
I’m glad you’ve made your peace, with growing up, and ended up with being grateful for your journey.
I do hope to see more of you, and your character, on my TV.
Congrats….
Dude. Dude!! Dude.
I loved everything about that scene. So so cool to see Wesley, and you, back in Star Trek. Kudos man.
I had been spoiled by reading the discord channel (people blacked it out, I spoiled myself) but when I saw him appear, I squeed so loud and so hard I don’t know how I didn’t set off car alarms in my neighborhood. I squeed quieter, but still intensely, when showing my husband the scene. I so hope we get to see more of TTFNAWC (eh, he’s still Wesley) and Kore.
Thank you for sharing this. Every time I read a piece of your journey it makes me thankful that you are willing to be vulnerable enough to help us understand that we aren’t the only ones who experience hard things. We aren’t alone. It also inspires me to be a better parent. I wish I could scoop up all the kids like you. But I’ll just do the best I can with the kids I’ve got.
Just… thanks!
I haven’t seen the episode yet, living in Canada. That’s for not too much later tonight. Even so…I’m glad to read that you’ve gotten to this place, now.
I hope there’s more stories to tell. Either way, thanks again.
Wil: I do not have words for how special it was to see you in the Picard season finale. Season 2 was such a ride but the finale moved me to tears multiple times. Your appearance as Wesley the Traveler is something I will cherish for a very long time. Thank you.
Hey Wil, thank you for keeping this secret for all of us. This reveal was close to Luke showing up in Mandalorian for levels of emotional payoff for me. Like so many other Star Trek fans of similar age to you, Wesley was a major touchstone for us. He didn’t fit in, just like we didn’t fit in. So when the news broke that you out of all the TNG cast were not included in Season 3, I was deeply, profoundly offended and angry. You played it off with such grace, but it burned to think that the writers couldn’t come up with a reasonable excuse to include you.
So here we are now, with an absolutely wonderful and pitch-perfect triumphant return of Wesley. Not saving his old captain or preventing some galactic catastrophe, but reaching out to yet another misfit outsider and giving them a home and a purpose, just like he found all those years ago.
Thank you.
Absolutely knocked my socks off seeing you walk on camera today. What a beautiful addition to the finale. The character of Wesley and you as a person have both played a role in my life, and it truly was the highlight of the Picard finale to see you return once again. Thank you for what you’ve written here, it adds a perfect final touch to the experience. I will continue to read your books, follow you on the internets, and watch for Wesley in the years to come. Thanks man!
Absolutely knocked my socks off seeing you walk on camera today. What a beautiful addition to the finale. The character of Wesley and you as a person have both played a role in my life, and it truly was the highlight of the Picard finale to see you return once again. Thank you for what you’ve written here, it adds a perfect final touch to the experience. I will continue to read your books, follow you on the internets, and watch for Wesley in the years to come. Thanks man!
Yup, I am grown man and that cameo brought me to tears. Your love for Star Trek and your empathy for others comes through every time you appear on my screen in Trek and in the Ready Room. Thank you for both mirroring and deepening my love for the franchise.
Welcome home Wil!
Wil, I was so unprepared for my own response to seeing you onscreen. I cried — big damn tears. As a smart-not-cool, better-with-adults kid, I felt such kinship with Wesley as a kid. And having seen some of your journey to make peace with your alter ego, your reconnection with him is the best kind of emotional overload. So thank you, Will, for being you and for being Wesley. And welcome home.
I absolutely positively Loved Loved LOVED seeing you on Picard! I couldn’t contain my excitement! What a fantastic treat that was!
I truly hope you get to to play him more in the future.
I hope somewhere, in some alternate internet, someone is creating an alt.welsey.crusher.lives.lives.lives newsgroup.
BadBlood
I was so happy to see you get a scene in the finale, for both you and for us, your fans. In following your travails from afar, I felt there was still ground that needed to be traversed for this character, and for you too. I am so glad you got that chance, finally. For my part, I wrote several Wesley stories after you left the original show, one of which was a Q storyline, post All Good Things. I felt it was so long overdue I had given up hope this plot path would be given any love. Here is to hoping some other writers feel there is more meat on this particular bone. The Travelers arc would give a 27th century storyline it’s center and heart, and any future show a great Star Trek continuity boost. For you Wil, congrats and all happiness you can breathe in, know your fans are smiling with tears in their eyes.
As a person with a mental illness that left me almost alone and isolated for the entire first half of my life (I’m 56), I actually was glad that you came out and admitted to dealing with your illness, it’s a very hard thing for many to do, and it’s even harder for a person so in the limelight to do it. Just know that folks like me appreciate you for the person you are, the man you have become despite it all being against you. I just had to pop on here to say this, and thank you personally. Know you’re never alone 🙂
Will, I always loved your Wesley crusher persona and I thought this was a fitting cameo hit me up sometime I’d love to share memories
Your friendly neighborhood ex pavilions Asian bagger been a while
Ben
I’m so happy that you got to be a part of Trek again. Also hoping it leads to Big Things.
Literal tears when I realized it was you. So glad you got this chance and I hope to see more of Wesley in the future.
It was a thrill to see you and to know that Wesley is doing well.
Delurking (uncloaking?) to tell you how delightfully surprised I was to see you in Picard today. We don’t know each other, of course, but damn, I was just so happy for you!
Great to have Wesley back! Did you know you were also a Jeopardy! clue today?
It was so wonderful to have that surprise stream across my TV tonight. I broke out into a huge grin and delightedly told my wife “That’s Wil! Ha! Suck it, you-shut-up-Wesley’ers!” The joy you had in putting an exclamation point on Wesley’s story, in canon, was clear in your eyes. It must’ve been hella hard to get through that scene without crying or laughing in joy. And to keep it such a secret… well done!
I’m just really happy for you and for Star Trek fans to have this. Thank you!
I’m so happy for you. Congratulations. Now, please excuse me while I get whatever this is out of my eyes.
Hey pal, so I knew it was coming because ya know ghe internet….but I’m man enough to say it. The second I saw you this 45 year old man literally burst into tears. Live long and prosper Wil!
I am utterly delighted that Wesley will be appearing on Picard. Not only because I would like to see what he’s up to, but also because I see that you’ve made peace with him. L.L.A.P.
Hey pal, so I knew it was coming because ya know ghe internet….but I’m man enough to say it. The second I saw you this 45 year old man literally burst into tears. Live long and prosper Wil!
I am about halfway through Still Just a Geek, and it has already moved me so much that when I saw you pop in, I yelled something inappropriate and then burst into tears. Knowing what you’ve shared about your journey, I thought seeing you on Ready Room (especially seeing the love your coworkers have for you! and that you are now able to receive!) was amazing, but to know you got to experience filming again, and from such a joyful place . . . really made it special. I’m just so effing proud of you, for you. I guess what’s extra special is knowing (from reading your book) that you would have been just fine if this had not come together, BUT IT DID! So happy for you.
I’m happy for you and for Wesley, but spoilers. I was just making dinner before I sat down to watch.
I loved having Wesley make an entrance. I am hoping there is a entire show dedicated to Wesley. You inspired me and I related to you the most during TNG. You were not treated well and I deeply sympathize but you made it out of that space and I love the ready room. Hoping to see you at a comic con “out there”
Your appearance put a rare ear to ear smile on my face. It made me happy. It made think. The line “It will give your life meaning and purpose”, struck a chord. You being on screen and in this role again just made things feel right. Thank you Wil.
I was SO HAPPY to see Wesley’s return from all of time and space in “Farewell.” The end of Act 2 is the episode’s absolute highlight, in my book. THANK YOU for that scene, and for all the years of enjoyment you have given to your fans.
Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for the best freak out moment I’ve experienced in a long while. I literally shouted, “OH MY GOD!” when you showed up on PICARD! I haven’t had a moment like that since Michelle Gomez’s reveal that Missy was in fact The Master!
Thank you! You rock!
I did not see that coming. Excellent. I’m so glad you got to play him again, and for all that he has meant to you. 😊 👍
That was amazing. Thank you for keeping it secret, and letting us experience it in our own ways. You, the scene, and your empathy to others are a beautiful thing to behold. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Rewatched that scene like three times. I’m still smiling widely that this happpened!
Hi Wil, I was really tickled to see your appearance tonight. I think the different plotlines of the show have been waning a bit, but tonight’s episode really snazzed things up a lot.
I remember the beginning of TNG very well, and loved the show. Then all these years later finding you on social media and reading at least most of your stories, has been quite an interesting *kick for me. You’re an excellent storyteller.
Your story about the night in the car, with your family, going to a family friend’s house at Christmas, really stuck with me 😦
Thanks for always sharing. Thanks for opening up to your fans, and for always speaking your mind.
I could keep blah blah blahing, but I really just wanted to tell you that it was great seeing you tonight and congratulations on being able to wrap up your character so nicely.
Affection and Best Wishes, Darlene Arrivillaga
ps All your appearances on BBT were profoundly funny.
Thanks for that too 😉
Dude. I was just happy to see. When they announced the TNG cast for season 3 and no you, I was disappointed. Any criticism against you or Wesley was never deserved. I was happy to see you bringing Wesley’s story to a good point.
It was great seeing Wesley again, and I think this may count as one of my favourite moments of his (and yours) in Star Trek. You contribute so much to Star Trek, and it was very cool to see that Wesley, as The Traveller, has been contributing so much to that Universe. 🙂
I am thrilled to see you back again as Wesley! I identified with Wesley as a smart guy that others just expected traditional things from.
It’s so amazing that Wesley ended up being so very important to you. Your story brought a tear to my eye. My heart is warmed knowing your life has really become YOUR life.
Just inspiring!!
I was lucky enough to have not heard a whisper of this so it was an ENORMOUS surprise, and I couldn’t be happier. Tears and joy and redemption. That’s what it felt like.
I’ve missed Wesley and it brings me peace to know he’s out there extending his hand to others who need it. You, and he, have meant so much to so many of us. Thank you.
I just watched you on Picard. What a wonderful surprise! I’m so happy right now … for you, for Wesley, for me, for all Star Trek fans! So much joy. So much love. Thank you, Wil, for all you’ve done and all you continue to do. Your presence on The Ready Room is such a comfort and makes me happy. Seeing Wesley back in action … it’s all so good. Yay!!!
I cannot tell you how much seeing Wesley and learning what he’s been up to made me happy. It tied two of my favorite concepts together and put a big red bow on them. Great to see you again, buddy!
Okay, now I hope that You and Kore end up travelling through all of space and time, putting things right that once went wrong. Like some Doctor Who/Quantum Leap hybrid.
I would watch the hell out of that show.
<3 It was so great to see Wesley again, and it’s also great to hear that you are doing so much better.
Be well!
This is a wonderful essay, as all of your essays are. You had such a difficult life and yet, you turned it all around to become the man we all love and admire. I was so thrilled to see your face at the end of Picard, season two. I haven’t started your latest book yet, but I will both read it and and listen to it. Stay the course, and continue your great life with Anne and the kids! ❤️