At the beginning of summer, as I was nearing the end of The Witcher: The Wild Hunt, I asked the Internet for a game recommendation that would tick some very specific boxes for me, including open world, entertaining combat, some crafting, all that stuff I loved about The Witcher.
My friend Will texted me and said “The answer to your question is Assassin’s Creed: Origins. I know you’re going to look at every recommendation you get, because you’re a nerd like that, but that’s the game you want to play.”
We call sharing good, insightful ideas like this with each other, “Wil(l) thinking.” Of course, he knows me that well and of course he was right. It only took an hour of Assassin’s Creed: Origins for me to know I was going to be spending quite a bit of time in ancient Egypt for the near future.
So in late July, I while I was playing it, I wrote this on my Facebook, and for some reason I didn’t post it here. I think it’s pretty entertaining, so allow me to correct that right now:
I was playing Assassin’s Creed: Origins last night (61 hours in, level 31. Not sure how far I am into the story) and I tamed this hippo, because I thought it would be amusing to have a giant hippo waddling around with me.
I have this cool chain assassination skill, so I like to wait for Romans to ride by in a line, grab the one at the end and follow up with the one in the middle before any of them realize what’s going on. More often than not, the one in the front keeps on going and doesn’t notice his two buddies aren’t with him.
(SIDEBAR: Unless you want to kill an entire village, don’t poison the corpses. I’m real sorry about that, formerly-populated tiny village against the mountains.)
But last night, the guy in the front turned around and threw a spear at me … which REALLY PISSED OFF Harriet the Hippo, who charged the guy, knocked him off his horse, and proceeded to murder the fuck out of him.
So I’m like, “Harriet, you are such a good friend! Thanks for helping me fill the streets with the blood of my enemies. I’m going to set you free to celebrate!”
And that’s when I discovered that Henrietta the Hippo has two states: tamed and aggro. I was like, “Here you go,” and she was like “THANK YOU NOW I WILL MURDER YOUR FACE TO DEATH!”
I want to tell you that I ran away and climbed up a tree or something, until she calmed down and went on her way. But we all know that wouldn’t be true, and Bayek needed some hard leather to upgrade his armor, anyway.
So I thanked Henrietta the Hippo for her service and her sacrifice, looted the corpses, and went about my business.
Every villain is the hero of their own story.
So I finished the story about 10 hours ago, and since then, I’ve been running around the map, as a massively overpowered Bayek with a flaming sword and everything, Leeroy Jenkinsing my way across the world. I’m hunting the Phylakes, and have two left.
Hey, speaking of those guys, here’s a fun thing that happened. I was trying to draw a Phylake away from a populated area, so I could focus on him and not risk his allies showing up to distract me. I mean, I’m just trying to cut his head off with my flaming sword and honestly who can blame me he and his friends have been hassling me for literal months. GOSH.
I pull him into a field, and hit him in the face with an arrow that does not do nearly as much damage as an arrow to the face would do. But considering I climbed all the way up a mountain and then fought a bunch of Romans without pausing to catch my breath, maybe I can just agree to suspend my disbelief for a minute.
He comes at me in his fancy chariot, and I’m like “Yeah, buddy! Get ready to be set on fire!” and I roll out of the way, slash at him, and set him on fire. It was so great, until the grass I was in also caught on fire, which then caught me on fire.
Thinking quickly, I ran out of the grass, did the STOP DROP AND ROLL I’ve been preparing for my whole life, and jumped up onto the top of a … something with a grass roof.
This Phylake dude is super mad that I set him on fire (fair) so he starts throwing fucking JAVELINS at me (also fair). I switch to my secondary bow, a predator bow that is both on fire and able to be controlled by me in a first person view that is so much more fun than I thought it would be, I wish I’d bought it earlier.
I target the Phylake, and lock on. As I track him, the fire on my bow catches the roof on fire. Which catches me on fire. Which kills me.
I’m not saying I didn’t deserve all of it, because I was clearly the aggressor, but I will say that when I respawned, I put the fire weapons away and fought this dude with a spear, a pair of fuck you up swords, and poison arrows.
When I defeated him and looted his corpse, I got a Legendary flaming sword, because the universe has a sense of humor.
Okay, so I’m pretty much wrapping that up and looking for something new, which turns out to be Baldur’s Gate 3.
I haven’t played one of these CRPGs since the late 1900s, and I didn’t like it at first. It felt so different from the games I’ve been playing for the last twenty years, it took about 30 hours, spread out over a week or so, for me to understand how Baldur’s Gate 3 wants to be played, what kind of game it is. From the camera controls, to the turn based combat, to the very real consequences for every single thing I do, it’s just nothing at all like the Assassin’s Creed and Witcher RPGs I’ve played this year.
It took me all this time to stop trying to make it Baldur’s Gate: The Witcher’s Assassin Redemption, and actually play Baldur’s Gate 3. I did a TON of savescumming while I failed over and over to inderstand that this game will not to reward my choice to be a Murder Hobo at level 2. Instead, it rewards commitment to character and class choices, role playing, and careful battle strategy. It’s just as fun as being an OP Murder Hobo, but it’s much more satisfying. When I get through a difficult encounter or challenging series of role playing choices, I feel the same kind of accomplishment and joy I’ve gotten both of the times I rolled Critical Successes in my life.
Put simply, it’s the most faithful recreation of playing D&D I’ve ever experienced with a CRPG. It reminds me of everything I loved about the OG Baldur’s Gate, Icewind Dale, Planescape: Torment, and Fallout: 2, but it’s refined by time and has clearly learned from all the great Bioware games. I just love it.
I love it so much that last night, I realized I need to start setting an alarm for my bedtime, because if I don’t do that, I’ll sit down when Anne goes to sleep to “just play for a little bit”, and the next thing I know it’s 2am. That’s also something I haven’t experienced since the late 1900s, and WOW does it turn out I’m a lot older now than I was then, and my body has comments when I stay up too late.
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Ah – I totally get it! I just started playing Valheim (which – even as a small indie game – might actually tick your boxes as well!) and amusing myself by aggro-ing Lox and kiting them over to the tar monsters and having them fight it out while I stay in the bushes.
…and I stayed up until 3 AM sailing my longship around looking for a mountain biome so I could get wolf pelts and mine some silver.
Wayyy too many hours put into it in the last 3-4 weeks.
I was wondering when you would finally come across to playing BG3. The one question one my mind now is, have you been playing with Karmic Dice setting on? From what I understand, so far, Karmic Dice is design to fix the Wil Wheaton Dice Curse. It is meant to prevent players from experiencing too many bad rolls. It would be interesting to see if you experience fewer 1s rolls or about the same. Also, you might be interested in starting a new game session and playing in online multiplayer mode with 3 or 4 friends. This would allow you to experience the game more like a D&D 5e game session, only online.
Really want that to come out on PS5 ASAP, can’t wait. Re: Assassin’s Creed Origins, I confess that I much prefer the older style “story driven” as opposed to “open world” AC games. The last one I really enjoyed was Syndicate; I’ve barely played Odyssey, Origins, Valhalla, or Mirage. I’m not even sure why – I love the Elder Scrolls games and other open world stuff. I’m clearly in a minority here (even my wife prefers them; she got Mirage on release day and would have pre-ordered if we hadn’t previously laid down a “never pre-order a digital game” ruling). Glad you’re having a blast!
Well good news Gazza- it actually came out on PS5 back in September! Plays impressively well on there too. I love their clever controller solution of being able to “swipe” through all of your various turn action options, presented on a series of wheels.
I’ve played almost 100 hours as a good-hearted but cheeky-mouthed bard and I’m still in the first act of the story. It’s fantastic.
You’ll probably like Mirage if you liked the originals before they went full-RPG. It’s mostly a return to that old-school format. It’s great.
BG3 is so satisfying and unpredictable. I’ve seen so many great clock app vids that are almost as fun as playing.
I’m thoroughly delighted with the phrase “OP Murder Hobo” because that’s EXACTLY how I play the Assassin’s Creed games. I’m almost done with Mirage and I’m in full OP Murder mode.
I love it when I get totally lost in a game and I look up and the sun is coming up outside my window; I’m 44. Never grow up, I say!
I’ve been enjoying Baldur’s Gate, too. The Dark Urge origin is a good way to get immersed without playing as one of the other main companions.
Did you ever play Elden Ring? It seems like it would fit in with Witcher and Assassin’s Creed, though the roleplay aspect is not very strong. Open world, challenging combat, and some crafting are all there.
I came to Assassin’s Creed after playing Red Dead Redemption 2, which is probably the best game in the world.
I started with AC Odyssey, very pretty in the ancient Greece setting, but less stealthy. Then AC Origins and finally AC Mirage. Mirage is the most stealthy and least refined.
The only reason I got back into games since the PS2 is that running games under Linux now is super easy with Steam.
And open world games are unbelievably amazing.
This story of joyful play is an excellent reminder…we are always young enough to play. To learn new things doing an activity we enjoy is really healthy for aging brains….and as you are always aging (’til you aren’t) you have the perfect excuse to learn and play new games! Have fun! (Until bedtime!)
What BG3 race/class combo did you go with, Wil? I picture you as a Dragonborn Bard kind of guy, just because a giant singing lizard sounds hilarious…
Drow paladin.
I don’t like the fact that BG3 tells me how many hours I’ve been playing. “A lot” would be fine. Seeing the actual number makes me think I have a BG3 addiction.
P.S. PLEASE tell us you’re in Chengdu. You’re either going to get a Hugo or an invitation to the Hugo Losers Party. Either way, you win!
The late 1900s? THE LATE 1900S?! >:(
I’m curious if the Wil Wheaton dice curse has affected your BG3 gameplay, or if it requires touching physical dice? If not, how does it feel to play a dice rolling game without the curse?
I used inspiration TWICE to reroll DC 5. So.
Have you played much coop Wil? We’ve gotten quite a few regulars who have been soul sucked into BG3 and try to get an 8 man game going (using the Party Limit Begone mod) as often as we can. It’s easier on weekend days but we’ve a pretty good group EST weeknights. Anyway some day we’ll finish our @80 mod Tactician Plus run with a full group.
Haven’t played co-op at all, but my sons and I have it on the menu for the holidays.
Enjoy! It’s really fun playing with a group where you only have to control one character. If you ever want to try a bigger group mine is open. 🙂