In TNG’s first … we will generously say “uneven” season, Q gives Riker his powers, with … unexpected … consequences. He goes on this “wish granting” spree in the fourth act, which includes a moment with Wesley that’s memorable for maybe not the reasons the writers intended. (Here I am, talking about it on Memories of the Futurecast)
This episode and its moment set the stage for this, from Star Trek Wholesome Posting on Facebook.
Some number of you are laughing at this because you recognize the references. But I have noticed that this is the first time a lot of people are seeing The Infamous Clown Sweater, so this is how I answered what became a FAQ:
“I did this fundraiser for EFF in San Francisco in … 2001? 2002? Something like that. It was at DNA Lounge, and after we were done, this person came up to me with this horrific sweater (jumper, for you non-Americans). They told me it was part of The Infamous Clown Sweater Project. What’s that, I asked. They told me they are getting as many people as possible to wear it and pose for a photo, which they would then upload to their webpage — not website, webpage, because it was 2001 or so — for all to see.
“Of course I was down for it, and that face I’m making in the first photo is my very real reaction to the awful stank that was just infused in the acrylic fibers.
“The second picture is from a con about … 2014? Something like that, based on how I look. Someone actually made their own version of that horrible sweater for me. One arm is too long, on purpose, the neck is all stretched out, on purpose, and it fits poorly, on purpose. It’s so damn funny to me, and it came along at a moment when we were doing this “then and now” thing on Twitter (before the fascists took over).
“I still have the second sweater. I have no idea what happened to the original. Last time I checked, the website that hosted all those pictures — so old it was manually coded in html, predating even Flickr — was lost to the sands of time.
“But it never fails to make me smile when this picture comes back around. It reminds me of a specific time, when there was just so much hope for the online future we were all building.”
I’ve done a LOT of things involving The Infamous Clown Sweater over the years. It’s never not funny to me, it’s moment has long come and gone, but when it shows up (which is does, about once a year), I always enjoy it.
And for those of you who are too young to know what Riker giving Wesley his “fondest wish” is, well …
Wesley wanted to grow up to be a blue-eyed blonde who I’m pretty sure the costume designer wanted to fuck?
GEORDI! GROSS! You’re not helping!
Look. I love you, Commander Riker, but … you’re gonna want to try again. Wesley’s fondest wish rhymes with “marathon betazoid orgy on risa”.
Maybe the fundraiser was this event in August 2002:
https://www.dnalounge.com/backstage/log/2002/08/25.html
After I stopped laughing I wondered: in your headcanon, as a Traveler, did Wesley get his fondest wish? Or did he grow out of it?
Well, someone’s got to reference the obvious gross joke about growing into his wish. So…now that that’s out of the way the rest of this discussion can have the dignity that it deserves.
I entere the UnicornPegasusKitten contest! I didn’t win, but I still think my piece was good. I should dig it out and post it to Ao3 — I wonder if there’s a tag yet for UnicornPegasusKitten?
*entered
Oh, I’d forgotten all about the contest! I think I have some drafts around here, too, though I didn’t officially enter. But my old Twitter (back when it was fun) buddy wrote this song, and it’s amazing.
Nice to see some clown sweater content, often gone, but never forgotten.
Oh, I’d forgotten all about the contest! I think I have some drafts around here, too, though I didn’t officially enter. But my old Twitter (back when it was fun) buddy wrote this song, and it’s amazing.
http://scifisongs.blogspot.com/2010/06/free-mp3-unicorn-pegasus-kitten.html
Nice to see some clown sweater content, often gone, but never forgotten. lol
I’m one of the few TNG fans who utterly adores (nearly) every episode in season 1, camp and all. I guess it helps that I grew up with all those episodes, so the sentimentality factor is way high. Q Riker granting Wesley his wish is definitely a hilarious moment (especially Geordi’s enthusiastic response.)
Obviously, you mean that Wesley’s fondest wish was “Marathon Metroid party and pizza” I mean, that’s the closest I could get to a rhyme. 🙂
The writing in those early episodes was so ridiculously…desperate.
Hey, Will (Riker, not Wheaton)!!!!
Here’s a wish—
How about giving Wesley his Dad back?? Hmmm? How about giving him the chance to have a normal childhood outside of the florid arrogant spectacle of Starfleet? How about letting the poor kid have a normal life of normal social development rather than dodging ego-driven monsters, dangerous predators, and evil money-hungry Ferengi every week? And one where he doesn’t have to repeatedly scratch and climb for even an ounce of respect from a world of adults who never seem to ever really respect him? Just send him to a place where he can play basketball in the morning, play Tron in the afternoon, and read “Starlog” at night with the window open, a July half-moon in the sky, and a warm city breeze floating through.
Can you do that, Mr. Riker?
Hey, Will!!
I feel it oddly coincidental that I stumbled across this image last night. You put this into the universe! (love it!)
https://i.imgflip.com/izj1e.jpg
My husband and I just showed this episode to our kids about a week ago! They are so confused by 1987.
Hi Wil, About 30 years ago I was a high schooler volunteering at a nursing home. One of the people I visited with was a man with periperhal vision loss. He read and watched television using a telescopic camera that could only focus on tiny details. So, when he read books, he was literally looking at one word at a time. Well, he was a MAJOR fan of yours and had VHS copies of everything you’ve ever been in. He was having trouble locating a copy of December that he dearly wanted to watch. I found it and got it playing for him. He would move the lense around the screen just to watch you. Maybe he was in love with you, maybe he was just a major fan, but I thought you’d like to hear a story about an old man who happily watched your work in throughout his little life. That’s the day I took notice of how truly talented you are, and I’ve been a fan ever since. Thank you for making a difference in that man’s life, and mine!
I remember that day. LOL! God I feel old now. I didn’t know about the smell though. I just though you were being funny. Thanks for the throwback.
Sent me down the IMDb rabbit hole. The actor (who himself was aged 32 at the time) playing “25 year old Wesley Crusher was: William Wallace. (not the Braveheart one tho)
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0908906/
For what it’s worth, this page is alive and well, showing a slightly different picture of you from a DNA Lounge event, but likely taken on the same day – http://clownsweater.com/eff-benefit-dna-lounge/
Oddly enough, that page was published in June 2014, so perhaps it has been rebuilt since it was first published.