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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

you walk outside, and everything just says “SOON”

Posted on 12 November, 2025 By Wil

There is a massive winter storm barreling toward us right now, expected to arrive in the next 18 or so hours. Yesterday, it was unseasonably warm and stupidly beautiful. Today, it’s eerily calm, under grey skies. The air is so still, it carries the train whistles from all the way across the valley, and every lawnmower in town sounds like it’s next door. You walk outside, and everything just says, soon.1 Even the corvids and squirrels seem reluctant to come out of the trees, It never rains in Southern California, man. It pours.

This past weekend, though, it was great, and I was grateful for it.

Last Friday, Anne and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. We have both been so busy and overwhelmed for so long, we planned to skip our usual weekend getaway and just go out for a really fancy dinner, instead. So we went to Mozza in Hollywood, where I think Anne discovered that pasta can actually be wonderful and not what her husband struggles to assemble in our kitchen.

We had such a wonderful meal, and such a nice time out, on a Friday night like PEOPLE WHO GO OUT TO DO THINGS! And that would have been enough, but about two weeks ago, Anne said that she was really missing our usual weekend away, and how did I feel about using points to go somewhere close? I admitted that I, too, was feeling sad we weren’t going to have two days of absolutely nothing but Us. Funny how we both really wanted to do this together, but kept talking ourselves out of it because we’d agreed together that we would.

Anyway, she found a place, cashed in some points, and we spent the weekend up in Santa Barbara. It was nothing but long walks, petting dogs, eating incredible food, and prioritizing each other, our relationship, our friendship, and our marriage. Each of us truly is married to our best friend, and even after 26 years (30+ total), we still have all kinds of fun goofing off together. We have consistently done the hard work of being married and being a family, and that investment pays off at like fifty million percent all the time.

It’s just like … it’s such a blessing and so awesome to spend our lives together, and be mom and dad to our kids. We have worked really hard for a good life, and I’m grateful that I’ve worked so hard to heal my PTSD, so I can actually enjoy living it.

And now…

This week’s story dropped earlier today! It is Dissembling Light, by Kel Coleman. It originally appeared in Beneath Ceaseless Skies issue 385.

This is a magical story (meaning that Magic features prominently in the narrative) about a man who holds tremendous knowledge and skill in his heart, and the hopeful apprentice who comes to learn from him. It also makes me wonder what good is knowledge, if its holder doesn’t freely share it?

You can get It’s Storytime With Wil Wheaton wherever you get your podcasts. Here’s some links to the more popular services:

  • Apple Podcasts
  • PocketCast
  • Pandora
  • iHeart
  • Amazon
  • or grab the RSS directly from me right here. (Yo! Old school RSS subscribers, I see you and finger your .plan!)

You can also support the show on Patreon, where you’ll get the show with no ads, as well as some spiffy extras that all the cool kids are into these days.

Today, I recorded two episodes. One of the things we did is the most beautiful, heartbreaking, I-need-a-minute-to-compose-myself story I have read in a long, long time. I’m so excited for you to hear it. It’s also the source of the show’s first official blooper, where you will get to hear me use all my, uh, colorful metaphors in rather creative ways.

I would absolutely love to hear your feedback on the show, if you’re a listener. I feel like we’re doing good work, and putting good art into the world, but I have no idea what the audience thinks if I don’t ask, because we aren’t exactly in a theater together. Although, if I can figure out how to stage one of these stories, I’m into seeing what that would look and sound like. Maybe something cool is there, way off in the mysterious future.

  1. Unfortunately, it’s not the soon we are all waiting for ↩︎
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Comments (6)

  1. luminousxylophone5f4fdc2601 says:
    12 November, 2025 at 4:02 pm

    Congrats, you two! Your happiness brings me such joy.

    “Unfortunately, it’s not the soon we are all waiting for” …dammit

    Reply
  2. TracySchruder says:
    12 November, 2025 at 4:02 pm

    Happy Anniversary Will and Anne!🥳 this was a real joy to read, Will.
    I think it’s a wonderful thing that you are married to your best friend! I recently downloaded the iPod app and am looking forward to listening to your podcast! Happy Blogging 💫✍️💫

    Reply
  3. jehscribbler says:
    12 November, 2025 at 4:11 pm

    Glad to hear you had a wonderful time together. Being married to your best friend is a great gift.

    Reply
  4. Erika says:
    12 November, 2025 at 4:17 pm

    I love the show! The stories are entertaining and just the right length (if not a little too short!). I like your brief intros. I would love to hear some of your thoughts on each story- I think right now those might just be on the patreon but even a short few sentences about why you chose the story or how you connected with it would be a welcome addition.

    Reply
    1. Wil says:
      12 November, 2025 at 4:33 pm

      Hi Erika! Thanks for listening. I do exactly what you’re asking about. I call them the Codas, and they’re a Patreon perk.

      I think that one of the early episodes included a Coda, but if that’s not accurate, I’ll talk with my team about including one in an upcoming episode, so Patreon-curious listeners can hear what that sounds like.

      Reply
  5. Marcy B says:
    12 November, 2025 at 4:36 pm

    I heard/watched you read one of your stories on the Star Trek cruise, and it was so good! Would love to hear another in-person reading if that were ever possible.
    In the meantime, thank you SO MUCH for keeping me entertained while I run and hike!

    Reply

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