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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

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WIL WHEATON dot NET
WIL WHEATON dot NET

50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

Author: Wil

Author, actor, producer. On a good day, I am charming as fuck.

the castle arrgh

Posted on 28 September, 2005 By Wil

For this week’s Games of our Lives, I looked back at an awesome game called Cavelon:

Once upon a time, an evil wizard kidnapped a beautiful princess and
imprisoned her at the top of a scary tower. She cried and cried until a
brave knight entered the castle to battle the wizard and rescue her.

Once upon a different time, some video-game designers turned this
story into a pretty cool little game. For reasons that are best left
buried in the mists of Avalon, they didn’t name it "Magic Tower" or "Happy Princess Rescue." They named it "Cavelon," even though it has nothing to do with caves, and there aren’t any lons to speak of.

Kids today might not like it because: There’s no Custer’s Revenge-style reward when you finally rescue the girl.

Kids today might like it because: Cavelon has real, undeniable retro-gaming charm. After a few games, they’re just a waffle-cone away from a full-on 1983 flashback.

I also reviewed NHL06:

Worth playing for: The little details. When the home team gets a
penalty, the organ plays "Three Blind Mice" as the player skates into
the box, jawing words that look an awful lot like "vacuum" at the
referee. The closer you get to the end of the period, the more
chopped-up the ice becomes. Between plays, skaters talk to each other,
and during the replays, fans (dressed in the home team’s jerseys, of
course) jump up and down, clap their hands, and cheer.

Final judgment: EA Sports set the standard for sports games a long time ago. NHL 06
meets that standard, but it doesn’t bring much new and exciting to the
party, which isn’t really their fault. There isn’t much more to add to
an already-fantastic series. If you’re a hockey fan, and you haven’t
played any of the EA Sports NHL titles, where the hell have you been?
You’re going to love this game. But if you’re a longtime fan, you may
want to sit this virtual season out.

I’m working on this week’s GOOL right now, which is shaping up to be kinda funny.

In an unrelated bit of news, I really like the simple, clean look of WWdN In Exile. I was going for a much cleaner look with the WWdN redesign already, and I think it’s going to be more like what you see here: two columns, simple navigation, lightweight graphics.

i have no mouth and i must scream

Posted on 27 September, 2005 By Wil

It’s so frustrating and annoying that I can’t blog at WWdN, especially since now is the most important time to talk about Do You Want Kids With That? as I get closer to its release.

I have a very finite amount of time and energy right now, and I’d rather invest them in creative areas, rather than the tail-chasing technical bullshit I’ve been working on since Friday.

So I’m going to keep this backup blog to write in until I get the main blog at WWdN finished.

Welcome to WWdN in exile!

3.2 and a question

Posted on 22 September, 2005 By Wil

I’m giving my brain a much-needed break from the manuscript to tinker with WWdN a little bit, starting with an upgrade to MoveableType 3.2.
Man, this reminds me of the early days, back when I was working on Dancing Barefoot. It’s so fun to see this stuff come together, and it’s great to get back into a little bit of website smashing.
And that’s the question . . . I think most people read my blog via RSS in one way or another, so I don’t think it’s much of a practical issue, but I was thinking that, until I can get the real site redesign finished and live, I may temporarily use a simple, default MT template for the blog. That way the categories will work, the built-in searching will come back, if you sign in for TypeKey, it should keep you signed in, you should be able to preview comments more seamlessly, and things should just be fitter, happier, more productive.
To get all that, though, the look-n-feel we’re all used to (which will be dramatically changing soon, anyway) will have to go away. I think it’s a fair trade of form-for-function, but I’m interested in what readers think.
Thoughts?
Update: If you can read this, it means that I successfully upgraded to MT 3.2, and convereted the database. This wouldn’t have been possible without help from Jay Allen from Six Apart, and Loren Cox from Logjamming. Thanks, guys!

sound salvation

Posted on 21 September, 2005 By Wil

Here are some recent radio appearances of mine, that you can tune into for free:

  1. TheFandom.com is just under two hours long. It’s the interview I did on Monday. Chase and I talk about the history of my blog, my journey from actor to writer and (almost) back.
  2. Don’t have that much time? How about ten minutes? You can hear me talk with David Lawrence, on his Personal Netcast Podcast from last week. We talk about my plans for a podcast, and I say “goatfucker” a few times. This audio is quite Not Safe For Work, as I was in full-on potty mouth mode. So if that thing bothers you, don’t listen. If you do listen, don’t lecture me about it. In fact, don’t lecture me about it at all.
  3. Finally, there’s The l a z l o w show on K*ROCK in NYC. Lazlow is a friend of mine, and the genius behind the soundtrack for GTA: Vice City, as well as all the radio content in all the GTA games (he directed me as Richard Burns in San Andreas.) We talked about my books, poker, and some other stuff. It’s pretty funny, if I recall correctly, and it’s about 17 minutes.

I’m interested to know what WWdN readers think about my interview with Chase, and also what you think about my podcast idea — is it worth my time? All the linked files here are in .mp3 format.

life is good

Posted on 20 September, 2005 By Wil

It’s raining today for the first time in months. It’s a warm, tropical rain that has brought thunderstorms into my town, and even though lightning and explosive claps of thunder kept me up most of the night (and terrified my poor dogs), it makes me happy. In fact, thunder is booming right now and my car is getting a much needed free bath.
The last few days, actually, have been some of the best days I’ve had this year. I spent Saturday with my friends, playing super geeky games. I hadn’t seen them in months, thanks to mono and incompatible schedules, and I didn’t realize until I was sitting at Cal’s dining room table, drinking wine and playing Spooks, just how much my soul needs them, and how much my friends mean to me.
Isn’t that weird? It is so easy to take your friends for granted, all the while thinking about them, caring about them, and enjoying their company . . . but not considering what they actually mean to you, until you don’t see them for an extended period of time for one reason or another.
Sunday, I played in the Main Event of the World Championship of Online Poker. I busted out in 488th place — not too shabby out of over 1400 entries, but well out of the money. I went out hating myself, but the tournament quickly faded from my memory after I was done, because Anne and I went over to our friend Stephanie (who introduced us) and Patrick (her awesome husband)’s house for Patrick’s birthday dinner: bone-in fillet, heirloom tomato salad, creme brulee . . . and wine. Oh, sweet jesus on a pogo stick, the wine. Patrick is the general manager of a very popular restaurant here in Pasadena, which means he has access to some of the best wine from here to Milliways. I could go on and on about the amazing wine we had, but I’ll just say: ZD Reserve Cabernet. Holy. Fucking. Shit. It’s a good thing Anne was driving.
On the way to their house, Anne said, “You know, I love our house, and I love doing things with the kids, but sometimes it’s important to spend time with your grown-up friends, you know?”
I couldn’t have agreed more. I told her about Saturday at Cal’s house, and how I’ve missed our friends these past few months. Then we ate dinner and I told everyone just how much I love them. A few too many times.
When I woke up Monday morning, the smell of freshly-brewed coffee was heavier than usual in our house. I could hear bacon sizzling in the kitchen, and as soon as I got out of bed, Ferris and Riley almost knocked me down, they were so excited to see me. (Tangent: don’t you love how your dogs do that? I once saw a sticker or shirt or something that said something like, “Lord, please let me be the person my dog thinks I am.” Dog owners know what I’m talking about, and Ferris must know that I’m typing about her, because she just rolled over onto her back, and started wagging her tail.)
I walked out to the kitchen, where Anne was cooking.
“Is there coffee?” I said, in my tiniest voice.
“There sure is,” she said. She turned from the stove to the coffee machine, and spun around with the best coffee mug, ever. It had a picture of a pirate on it, and it said, “Dead ’till I gets me coffee.”
“This is for Talk Like A Pirate Day,” she said.
“Oh my god,” I said. “This is the best mug ever!”
She hopped a little bit, and maybe she made a happy squealing noise. “I was so excited to give you this,” she said, “it’s been killing me to keep it a secret!”
“How long have you had this?” I said.
“Almost two weeks,” she said. “Do you love it?”
“I love you” I said, and kissed her with my icky coffee breath.
We ate breakfast, and I settled down at the table to get a lot of work done, while she got ready to go down to The OC to pick up some blinds.
I checked e-mail and worked on Games of our Lives for about twenty minutes, when she bounced back into the dining room.
“Watcha doin’?” She said.
“Workin’,” I said. “Why?”
“Well, since I have to go down to Anaheim to get Nolan’s blinds, I’m going to be right around the corner from Disneyland . . . and I thought we could use our annual passes to go ride Pirates of the Caribbean. You know, for Talk Like A Pirate Day.”
I sprang out of my chair. “That is the best idea in the history of ideas!”
“Really?” She said, “you’ll really take the morning off to play with me?”
“If I didn’t, what’s the point of being my own boss?”
Fifty-seven minutes later, we picked up Nolan’s new blinds, and seventy-five minutes later we were in line for Pirates of the Caribbean. We held hands the entire time we were there, and shared a Churro in a sickly cute fashion that would have mortified our children, if they’d been around to see it. (Note to self: remember you just came up with a new way to mortify the children. Use it at the next available opportunity!)
I must have told Anne, “I’m really glad that we came to do this,” fifteen times in the span of a couple of hours. It was really fun, and a great capper to three supremely wonderful, perspective-restoring days.
On the way back to the freeway, we passed this lumber yard on Ball Road that always has interesting sayings on its sign. Yesterday, the sign said, “No man is a failure who has friends.”
The truth is, for a couple of months, I’ve felt like a huge, colossal, stinking failure in a lot of things that I’m not willing to go into right now. But spending a weekend with my friends, and a surprise Monday with my wife reminded me of some advice I’d been given and forgotten: Don’t let your work become your life, because when work isn’t happening, then what do you have?
Work may be frustrating, but life? Life is good.

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