all the small things
Back in the old days, we’d do these posts that collected a bunch of stuff that didn’t fit anywhere else. This is one of those.
Back in the old days, we’d do these posts that collected a bunch of stuff that didn’t fit anywhere else. This is one of those.
I haven’t missed old school blogging at all, until today. I miss the quick little posts that we’d do before we all moved to Twitter. I miss the lists of links and things that we did before newsletters replaced those posts. I miss the low stakes, when it felt like nobody was watching.
I know I’m not the only person in the world who has felt or feels this way, and I wonder if I could have saved myself at least some suffering and pain if I’d figured out sooner than I did that my dad was never going to love me, doesn’t even like me, never made an effort to get to know me, and that none of that has anything to do with me.
The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.
I’m generally not meant to talk about what I’m working on without explicit permission, so earlier today, I posted this on Instagram: You know, like I always do when I’m working on something. It’s fun, and I enjoy having this easily searched archive when I want to pull a memory out of storage. A little…